"She did what?" Cullen shouted, his face reddening. "Without even asking us?" He slammed a clenched fist on the table and Eleanor sighed. She had known that he would not take it well, but she had not imagined he would yell at her. She flinched as he paced back and forth, his armor reflecting the moonlight.
"Cullen, you weren't there. She had to make a decision. King Alistair-"
"Was wise to be rid of them! Look at what very nearly happened! Time travel? A demon army? This is why mages-"
"Why mages what?" Eleanor's tone lowered. She crossed her arms and glared at him, feeling an ache in her chest. He stopped pacing and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, avoiding her gaze. "No, go on, Cullen. Why mages what? Should be contained in prisons? Should be watched constantly? Should be kept on their Templar leashes? Is that what you were going to say?" Her face twisted into a sour expression and she shook her head, disappointed.
"Of course not..." He spoke quietly. "I was going to say, why mages should have safe guards. For their protection and ours. Eleanor...you can't really think, that after everything, I still..." he trailed off. His dark eyes met hers, pleading. Her stomach twisted. She wanted to believe him, but he wasn't making it easy.
"I know. You've come a long way, Cullen. But you have to realize that the Templars are just as, if not more, dangerous than the rebel mages. Both sides are guilty in this war. Sophia chose the mages because we are both mages, and she feels a lot more comfortable with them around."
"I do understand that, though I hope that on the other side of that you would realize that just as not all mages are Anders, not all Templars are Meredith." The names hovered between them and Eleanor's eyes flashed and she put her hand on her chest as if to keep her heart from escaping. She tried to focus on the current issue. It seemed as though lately, every time she thought of Kirkwall, she grew closer to the brink of losing it.
"Do you really think that after the initial sense of welcome wore off, Templars would willingly follow an apostate? That their old habits would be so easily forgotten?"
"I do, honestly, though I can see why you both would be afraid." Cullen sighed. The darkness under his eyes was more prominent now and Eleanor briefly felt sorry for him. She was trying to be more understanding and realize that Kirkwall hadn't been the beginning of it for him. Whatever had happened to him in the circle in Ferelden must have been horrific. Varric refused to even discuss it. She continued, her voice softening.
"As for conscription, you have to know that was never an option for her. We are better than that. As a fellow mage she would have never forgiven herself for not letting them be free." She put her hands on her hips and her chin jutted forward, as if daring him to argue with her. He hung his head in resignation.
"You're right." he said. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted, I just...well, there's no excuse for my shouting at you. Again." He smiled warily, recalling their first meeting. Eleanor dropped her hands from her hips and rolled her eyes, returning his smile reluctantly. She couldn't stay upset with him for long, not when it was clear that he was trying.
"Ah, yes, what was it? "For fuck's sake, watch where you're going!" Did I get that right?" She laughed.
"Oh, indeed you did. I beat myself up for that for days afterwards." He smiled broadly at the memory.
"Cullen, I know this isn't easy on you. What you've been through...if you ever want to talk about it, I'd be willing to listen."
"I...thank you, Eleanor." He looked away. "Maybe someday."
"We should probably go to the War Room," Eleanor said, changing the subject. "There is a lot of preparation to do in the next couple of days. We need to set up temporary quarters, discuss with Solas how to best approach the breach..." she sighed. It was all happening so quickly; if she was feeling overwhelmed, she couldn't even begin to imagine how Sophia must feel. Cullen began to walk and she fell into stride beside him wordlessly. Her mind raced with worst-case scenarios. If something happened to Sophia...she shrugged off the thought and glanced sidelong at Cullen whose face was set into a firm, calculated expression. She hoped that he would never have to see that side of her. She was momentarily grateful that they'd not known each other in Kirkwall; she doubted they would have been able to maintain any sort of friendship now.
They entered the War Room together and Leliana, Josephine, and Sophia looked from Eleanor to Cullen nervously. Sophia swallowed hard and bit her lip.
"Is everything well?" she asked hesitantly, wringing the sleeves of her robes in a nervous manner.
"Yes. I understand that you acted because you had to, and that this is our best option. I trust your judgement, Herald. Just let me know what I can do." Cullen lowered his head slightly and Sophia looked to Eleanor in awe. She flashed her a quick thumbs up and grinned before turning back to the table.
"We are expecting the mages to begin arriving tomorrow around midday." she said.
"My scouts will be helping to set up temporary camps tonight. If your soldiers could assist, then we will have it done in half the time." Leliana said to Cullen. "Many will be bringing their own tents but we cannot assume they are all prepared."
"I will send half of them to you now, and the other half will rotate in after six hours." Cullen nodded. "Sophia, you should probably meet with Solas to discuss how you are going to approach this. I assume we will be doing it the day after tomorrow?"
"That's the plan!" she said cheerfully. "I will be meeting with Solas tomorrow when Fiona arrives, and the three of us will be discussing our options."
"What can I do?" Eleanor asked.
"For now, I think it's best that you get some rest. Tomorrow I'd like you to help get the mages situated in their camps tomorrow when they start arriving. Make sure that things go...smoothly." Eleanor nodded, catching her meaning. She was to make sure that none of the soldiers gave the mages a hard time.
"Is there anything else you need from us at this moment, Herald?" Leliana asked.
"Nope, you're all dismissed. I'll see you in the morning. Ellie, walk with me?" Sophia held the door open and Eleanor followed her, leaving the advisors in the War Room. Once they were in Sophia's room, Sophia jumped up and down excitedly.
"You did it! I knew that having you talk to him was the best idea. How did he react?"
"Like you might expect, at first. But I explained to him that it's not as though you had time to ride back here and get the opinions of everyone before going back to make a decision. I helped him understand your choice."
"Either way, I'm glad that part is over. Leliana and Josephine were both rather pleased with the decision. I'm almost too excited to sleep."
"Today, you rode to Redcliffe, went a year in the future, battled all kinds of demons and terrible things, and rode all the way back, and you're not tired? You're crazy," Eleanor laughed. "I, on the other hand, am exhausted, and if I hope to be of any use to you tomorrow, I had better get some rest. I'll see you in the morning." Eleanor opened the door that connected their rooms. She paused, looking back at Sophia.
"Sophia, I'm really proud of you." she said quietly.
"Aw, Ellie! Don't be proud yet. I haven't even done anything." Sophia said as she sprawled on her bed. She propped herself up with one arm to look at her cousin. "Leliana, Cassandra, Cullen, and Josephine have done more for the Inquisition than I have. All I do is close the rifts." Eleanor snorted and shook her head, closing the door. Eleanor fell onto her bed, burrowing under her heavy blanket. She was asleep in a matter of seconds.
The next morning seemed to fly by in a blur of activity. Eleanor had woken up early and began helping the scouts and soldiers set up the remaining areas of the camp where the mages would be staying. She took a five-minute break after a few hours and strolled through the camps.
"Fucking hell! Who set this tent up? This would blow away if I even looked at it wrong, who did this?" She peeked over the tops of the tents and saw Cullen, scowling and barking at the soldiers who were scurrying around him, none of them stopping to be scolded. Eleanor smirked and sidled up to him. He startled slightly.
"Eleanor! You...surprised me." He said hoarsely. His eyes were bloodshot as he looked at her.
"Commander, when is the last time you slept?" she asked. He waved her away with his hand.
"Bah. I got a couple of hours...yesterday at some point. I can sleep when this is finished."
"Cullen." she said, her voice quiet but firm. "You need to rest."
"They will just barge into my room and bother me for something else ridiculous," he growled. "I tried sleeping, but apparently I have to be a babysitter." Eleanor pulled a key from her pocket and slid it into his palm, closing his fingers around it.
"Then go to my room. Nobody will look for you there. At least you'll have a few hours of uninterrupted sleep."
"I'm afraid I will sleep all day if I rest now." Cullen rolled the key between his fingers, considering her offer. Eleanor's heart pounded.
"Then I'll wake you in a few hours. Just go."
"You're...amazing. Thank you, Eleanor." Eleanor watched him hurry off, and smiled to herself, trying not to dwell on the image of him in her bed.
As Sophia had predicted, the mages began trickling into Haven just past midday. Fiona led the group, and Sophia rushed over to meet her, Solas not far behind.
"How's everything going?" Sophia asked Eleanor, breathing heavily from running around.
"It's going well, actually. I think we've just about gotten everything set up. Once the first of them are settled, they will be able to direct the rest of them."
"Excellent! I should go, but we're going to have dinner in the Chantry this evening. There's no way everyone will fit into the tavern so the advisors, my crew, you, Fiona, and I will be set up in the Chantry this evening. Josephine is taking care of setting up the tables and everything right now. See you!" Sophia dashed off, waving.
Eleanor began assigning areas to the mages who did not have their own tents. Sera stood on Bull's shoulders, shouting directions to the tavern and the privies. Once the initial wave of mages had been settled in, Eleanor hurried to the Chantry. Josephine stood at the head of a long table, scribbling on her clipboard and directing her helpers. The table was ornately decorated with vases filled with local flowers, and for some reason unknown to Eleanor, elfroot. There were beautiful sea-green dishes at each place setting, gleaming silverware alongside them. Eleanor felt as though she had been transported to a palace. Josephine had even managed to find some blue and gold tapestries to hang on the walls, bringing warmth and color to the hall.
"No, please, that goes over here!" Josephine called to a girl carrying a large platter with cookies on it.
"Josephine, this is really impressive. You set this all up in one day?" Eleanor looked at the ambassador, who grinned.
"I did, yes. It's not perfect and definitely not as much as I would like but it will do for now. I have wanted to convert this room into a dining hall for weeks now, but now is as good a time as any. If you'll excuse me...No, these are not the correct glasses!" Josephine hurried to stop the same girl who was setting out glasses now. Eleanor smiled. She could see what Sophia liked about her, her cinnamon skin and flushed cheeks, and the way she commanded a room without being domineering. I'm rooting for you, Soph, she thought to herself, letting herself into her room and closing the door softly behind her.
Cullen was still sleeping, lying on his back. His armor rested on the floor next to the bed, leaving him in a simple cotton shirt and breeches. Eleanor flushed as she tiptoed to the bedside. He looked so relaxed that for a moment she contemplated letting him continue sleeping. She knew he would regret it if she did, and the last thing she wanted right now was for him to regret taking care of himself.
"Cullen," she whispered, tapping his hand lightly. His skin was cool and soft. He stirred slightly but did not wake up. "Cullen..." she said a little louder, tapping his hand again. He flinched and grabbed her hand in his as he opened his eyes, blinking rapidly. He looked around, momentarily confused, and then looked at Eleanor. When he noticed he was clutching her hand he let go quickly, embarrassed.
"Maker...how long was I asleep?" He sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"Only a few hours, as promised. Do you feel better?" She handed him a glass of water she had snatched from the table. He took a long drink and sighed happily.
"I feel worlds better. Thank you." He set the glass on her bedside table. "Did I miss anything important?" Before Eleanor could respond, the door burst open and Sophia rushed in.
"Ellie, we're ready to chat with you about –MAKER!" She covered her eyes with her hands and turned to face the door.
"It's not what you think, Sophia." Eleanor covered her face with her palm. Cullen cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Riiiiight. Next time, put Rook's collar or the door or something! Anyway, we're ready when you are, just meet us in the War Room." Sophia raced out of the room, slamming the door quickly behind her. Eleanor peeked at Cullen, who was grinning broadly.
"Well I guess you'd better be going, then, as should I." Cullen stood and stretched. "I...thank you, Eleanor. For...helping me." He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.
"Any time, Cullen." Eleanor smiled. She ducked out of her room and walked to the War Room, weaving between people setting up and cleaning. Inside she found Fiona, Solas, Dorian, and finally Sophia, who broke into giggles as soon as she saw Eleanor. Eleanor rolled her eyes and shook her head. She decided to move straight to business, so that Sophia wouldn't have the opportunity to make it awkward.
"Did Vivienne not care to assist us?" She asked. Solas sneered and Sophia rolled her eyes, making a soft noise of disapproval.
"She does not support the idea of allowing the mages to have their freedom here, but she did assist earlier. She claimed a headache about an hour ago and went to rest." Sophia said. Solas coughed and interrupted her.
"Herald, if I might. Josephine would like dinner to start soon, and I would like to go over everything before then." he looked to her. Sophia nodded.
"Go ahead, Solas." Solas droned on for the better part of an hour, going over tactics and contingency plans. Just as Eleanor thought she might fall asleep standing at the War Table, Sophia clapped.
"Great! That's the plan. Hopefully it'll be like the fade rifts I've been closing, just on a much more massive scale. Anyways, I believe I smell food which means Josephine probably has everything ready for us. Come, come, we have worked enough for now!" Sophia shoved the door open and gasped. Josephine had completely transformed the hall. There were candles lit, giving a soft glow and throwing elongated shadows across the walls. Several platters of food including venison and wild turkey were centered down the table, surrounded by sides of fresh vegetables.
"Herald, if you would take your seat at the head of the table?" Josephine pulled out Sophia's chair for her. "Eleanor, I have you at her right hand. Fiona, you are just there." She pointed to a chair only a few seats down from Sophia.
"Josephine, you've really outdone yourself. This is beautiful." Sophia's eyes found Josephine's, who blushed subtly and sat next to her, across from Eleanor.
"I hope you don't mind if I sit next to you," Cullen slid into the seat next to Eleanor. He winked at her.
"Of course not." Eleanor glanced at him, back in his armor now, and couldn't help but think of him without it again. There was a loud slam as the rest of Sophia's crew poured through the doors- Sera, Bull, Vivienne, Varric, Blackwall, and Cassandra all entered the hall together and found seats at the far end of the table. Sophia stood and raised her glass.
"Excuse me, guys! I just wanted to thank everyone before you start eating. I could never have gotten this far without any of you, and without your faith in me. I am so grateful and feel so much stronger knowing that no matter what I face, I face it with you lot at my back. Cheers!" Bull roared his approval as she clinked her glass with Eleanor, and then with Josephine, and there was the gentle sound of glass on glass all the way down the table. Eleanor toasted with Cullen and took a drink. She resolved to stop drinking after one glass of wine, so that she could be as present and clearheaded as possible the next day.
Eleanor watched as Sophia chatted animatedly with Josephine. The Antivan woman was hard to read; as the ambassador she was always slightly formal, though Eleanor never saw her as casual as when she was speaking with Sophia. Her laugh rang out as Sophia leaned in to tell her a story, their heads close together like co-conspirators. Eleanor began to feel as though she were intruding, watching her cousin and Josephine, and glanced around the room.
Sera and Varric were chatting loudly over each other, more than likely another argument over Bianca. Dorian and Bull appeared to be in a heated discussion over the color of Dorian's robes- "You'd look great in pink!" "You only say that because it's your favorite color!" Solas was sneakily removing the extra wine from the table so that nobody would get drunk. He caught Eleanor's eye and gave her a half-smile, which she returned. She was growing to like him the more she got to know him. Vivienne chatted with Fiona; apparently they had known each other at some point. Eleanor looked to Blackwall and noticed that he was eyeing Josephine and Sophia with a sullen expression. He stood, grasping his glass of wine, and made his way to the head of the table. He paused next to Josephine and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned from Sophia, whose eyes narrowed slightly, and looked up at Blackwall.
"My lady. I just wanted to tell you that this is a beautiful evening, and we are so lucky to have you as our ambassador. Being in this lovely hall, it's easy to forget where we are for a couple of hours and for that I thank you." He raised his glass towards her. Flustered, she clutched her wine glass and raised it in return.
"Warden Blackwall! Coming from someone as revered as a Grey Warden, that is a very generous compliment! Thank you." He smiled coyly and returned to his seat. Sophia's expression was nearly unreadable, even to Eleanor, but she and Josephine picked up where they'd left off, as though Blackwall's interruption hadn't happened.
Eleanor picked at her food, taking only small bites. She knew that she should eat, but her stomach churned with a sense of foreboding.
"Are you well?" Cullen asked quietly. He slid his chair closer to her so they could speak quietly.
"Just scared." she shrugged.
"I think we're all a little scared. I know I am," he admitted. She raised an eyebrow. "It's true." he continued. "Being afraid is completely normal. What proves your strength isn't whether or not you have fear, but what you let it hold you back from." Eleanor's heart raced. Cullen placed his hand on hers. She raised her eyes to meet his and he smiled, candlelight reflecting in his dark eyes. "And know that whatever comes, I'm here for you."
"I...thank you, Cullen." Eleanor stuttered. His words had moved her and a lump formed in her throat. "I'm...here for you, too."
"To no longer letting fear hold either of us back." he held his glass towards her and she toasted him.
"So I'm afraid of closing the massive hole in the sky, but what have you been letting fear hold you back from? It appears to me you've been staring it down every day." Eleanor smirked. Before Cullen could answer, Varric shouted down the table.
"Hey Snowflake! We've been missing you in the tavern the past few nights! When this shit is done, Bull's buying a round and you better be there!" Eleanor chuckled.
"Hey! I never said that..." Bull playfully punched Varric on the shoulder.
"Of course I'll be there." Eleanor nodded. "Regardless of who's buying." She turned back to Cullen, who was laughing.
"So, Commander, what were you saying about your fear?" Cullen glanced to where Sophia and Josephine were giggling together and then back at Eleanor.
"It doesn't matter. What matters is that we aren't letting it get the best of us." he said.
As the night pressed on, slowly people began to trickle out, heading for bed. As soon as Josephine excused herself, Sophia took off through the Chantry doors. Eleanor frowned, having an idea as to where her cousin was going, and stood to follow her.
"Are you leaving as well?" Cullen asked, rising from his chair.
"I should go find Sophia," she said. "She's probably a nervous wreck right about now."
"Ah. Of course. Well, thank you for your company this evening." Cullen smiled, and as Eleanor rushed through the doors, she could feel his eyes on her the entire way.
Eleanor found Sophia in the tavern, sitting alone amongst dozens of mages. She had an empty mug beside her and was working on a second one when Eleanor walked up.
"Soph, what are you doing?" Eleanor squeezed onto the stool beside her. "You know that you can't afford to be sick tomorrow."
"I'll be fine," Sophia growled, chugging the last of her ale and slamming the empty mug on the bar. "I just needed my brain to shut up." Eleanor frowned and lowered her voice.
"Sophia, you know Josephine was just being nice, as she is prone to do...I've seen the way she looks at you-"
"No! I'm just a fucking apostate, who got lucky a couple of times. I have nothing to offer!" Sophia said loudly. A couple of mages turned to face them.
"All right, let's get you out of here." Eleanor heaved her cousin off the stool, dragged her out of the tavern amid countless stares, and back into the Chantry.
"Fucking Grey Warden. My lady, blah blah blah, I have a beard." Sophia muttered as they made their way into her bedroom. "She wouldn't even have a future with him! He's past his prime, right?"
"Sophia!" Eleanor scolded, closing the bedroom door behind them. "I know you're upset, but Blackwall is still one of your crew! Besides, Josephine has a smile that she only wears for you. I think you need to tell her how you feel."
"She only smiles at me that way because of the Herald thing. At least Blackwall has a prestigious title to his name. All I've got is a past slinging drinks and honeyed words at a whorehouse." Sophia said, pulling on her nightdress. "Besides. It doesn't matter what I feel, does it? There are more important things to worry about." She crawled under the covers and shoved her head under a pillow. Eleanor sighed.
"Your time at the Pearl is irrelevant, Sophia. Nobody can do what you've done. Nobody else can close fade rifts and Blackwall sure as hell isn't going to raise his hand and attempt to close the breach tomorrow. You are. After tomorrow, no more letting fear hold you back."
"It'll take more than a stupid hole in the sky to frighten me off." Sophia's voice was muffled under the pillow.
"You know that's not what I-"
"I know what you meant. It's not going to happen. Thank you for your concern, but it's not necessary. Good night, Ellie."