Chapter 12: Internal Conflict, External Effects
Tim and Sarah were squared off on opposite sides of the table. Any step that Sarah took toward him was matched by an equal step away. The most recent shouting match had ebbed while both sides rested from the emotional turmoil.
Finally, Tim asked, "If I'm... Thom, then who are you? Who are you really?"
"I'm no one, Tim. I've been Sarah longer than I've ever been anyone. If I had a real identity before, I've long since forgotten it. I work for the people who did this to you, Tim, the people who...created you."
"Created..." Tim repeated softly.
"Yes, Tim. Created."
"Then, who is Thom?"
Sarah shook her head. "Thom is dead, Tim. He doesn't exist anymore."
Still shaking, whether with fear or anger, she wasn't sure, Tim said, "If I am Thom, then who is he?"
"You're not Thom. Thom died on the night you were created. He doesn't exist anymore."
Just when she was sure she was getting through, Tim shook his head violently and shouted, "He never existed! He's just a name! This is all a lie!" He turned to the mirror, his eyes crazed and wild. "All I see is Tim in the mirror! There's no one else! If I am Thom, then who is it I'm seeing?"
"It's still Tim. That's who you are now."
Tim shouted again, "I can't be two people! There can only be one of us!" Before Sarah could stop him he started punching the mirror, over and over again, trying to get rid of the other person. She ran over to him and tried to pull his hands away, but he seemed possessed of a superhuman strength and she might as well have been trying to stop a falling anvil as stop the torture he was inflicting on himself. His mind was fracturing because of the impossibility of the information she was giving him. He couldn't deny it, but he couldn't accept it either. The two lives currently inhabiting his body were in sharp conflict. He couldn't deal with it.
"Only one! Only one!" he shouted over and over, in time with his hits.
The door to interrogation flew open and Tony, Ziva and Gibbs all rushed in. They each grabbed Tim and pulled him forcibly away from the mirror which was now cracked and spattered with blood. Tim fought them all; his shouts had given way to inarticulate cries, almost bestial in their ferocity. It took the three of them to hold him down. Suddenly, he stopped struggling and went slack in their arms. They loosened their grip and then Tim started to shake violently.
"Let him go! He's having another seizure," Sarah shouted. She started to push the table out of the way and pull the chair away from Tim's convulsing body. Gibbs jumped up and helped while Tony and Ziva pulled back from Tim.
"Can't we do anything?" Tony asked.
Sarah, now crying, said, "No. We just have to wait for it to stop. Hopefully, he'll be okay."
"Hopefully?" Ziva asked, her eyes blazing.
"Yes," Sarah ignored Ziva's fury and crouched down just out of reach of Tim's flailing limbs.
Abby burst into the room. "You-you witch!" She shouted and threw herself at Sarah. There was less than a second of fighting before Sarah had flipped Abby onto the floor and pinned her. What amazed everyone was not only that she had been able to do it so quickly, but that she hadn't hurt Abby at all. She was just holding her firmly in place.
"I don't blame you for hating me, Abby, but this is not going to help matters." She kept the pressure on until Abby stopped trying to claw her eyes out; then, she stood and backed away, showing that she'd do no harm if Abby would do the same. She looked at Ziva again, continuing her conversation. "Hopefully, Tim'll be able to remember. This has never really been tried, not successfully anyway."
"And you're doing it now, because?" Abby spat.
"Because he'll be dead without this. You don't understand. You can't just quit. There's no allowance for a change of heart... or a change of mind. You're in until you die... or until they kill you," Sarah said.
Tim's seizure stopped as suddenly as it started and Sarah knelt down next to him, feeling for a pulse. She looked up at the mirror again. "Ducky? Are you in there? I think you should take a look at Tim."
Everyone stared at Sarah. She appeared to know a lot more about them all than they had thought. They were too used to thinking of her as a twenty-year-old. Even with the tears that still ran down her cheeks, all the innocence was gone from her face, leaving someone who looked very old, someone who had seen, and done, too much.
Gibbs looked at the mirror as well and nodded. In moments, Ducky was in the room. He knelt next to Sarah and checked Tim over. "Well, he's alive. We'll need to bandage up his hand; I'm amazed he didn't break any bones, but he'll need some stitches. He should be taken to a hospital anyway to make certain that he did not cause any internal damage during his seizure."
"He can't. You can't take him to a hospital!" Sarah said, sounding completely exasperated.
"And why not, young lady?"
"Do none of you get it? If you take him to a hospital you are going to put him in the hands of the very people I'm trying to save him from."
"Please, explain."
"How do you think my employers knew about Tim's lapse? How do you think they knew there were serious enough problems to warrant sending the kill command?" She turned to Abby who looked at her with loathing. "Do you remember the doctor at the hospital?"
"Of course."
"He's one of Tim's creators."
"What?" Abby shouted.
"They intercepted the 911 call and chose which hospital he was sent to, the one where Tanner works. I spoke to him while I was visiting Tim. They already know what is going on."
Gibbs turned to Tony and said, "Go bring him in."
Quickly, Sarah protested, "You can't do that, Gibbs. Right now, they're working on the assumption that Tim is dead. If you send Tony to arrest Tanner, that will tip them off. You won't be able to hold him anyway. He's too well connected."
Gibbs looked unconvinced.
"What are you going to arrest him for, Gibbs? Treating Tim for a non-epileptic seizure? Being a doctor? You have no evidence beyond my word... and how much do you trust me anyway?"
"Boss?" Tony asked.
"Fine, we'll wait on Tanner for now. Ducky?"
"Well, if we are unable to take Timothy to a hospital, then he should at the very least be put in a bed somewhere. The floor of interrogation is not the best place for him to lay."
"Is he alright, Ducky?" Abby asked.
"I don't know, my dear. It will be a matter of waiting for him to wake up."
"We can take him to the lab," she suggested.
"Good. That is a much better location than the morgue," Ducky agreed. "Tony? Ziva? Abby? Could you give me a hand carrying him down there?"
Gibbs nodded to them and stared at Sarah as she made a move to follow.
"I won't go with them, Gibbs. If that's what you want." Before they lifted Tim up, she knelt by him once more and whispered into his ear. No one heard the words she said. "I know you won't believe me, but it hurt to have to do this to you. There's only one other person I've ever tried to help in this way. It didn't work. Please, Tim, you are such a good man. Don't let this destroy you like they destroyed Thom." Then, she stood and backed away, allowing the others to carry Tim from the room.
Gibbs and Sarah were left alone. They stared at each other in silence for a long while. To Gibbs, Sarah seemed older than he was, in terms of world experience. She wore the tattered remains of her life like a banner in her eyes. The wonder was that she had kept it hidden for so long, both from them and from Tim.
"We have things to talk about," he said.
"I know, Gibbs. There's a lot you need to know before they kill me," Sarah replied. She pulled the table back over and righted one of the chairs. Then, she sat down, facing Gibbs and asked, "What do you want to know?"