They end up walking around for a bit. Since Christmas is just around the corner, there are Christmas markets pretty much everywhere. Alex loves them so she dragged Kakashi with her. The last train is already gone anyway and Kakashi keeps saying to trust him on his mysterious ways of getting them both back home.
Pakkun and Bull follow not far behind. Pakkun sitting on Bull's head, the lazy ass. Alex hasn't forgiven him yet.
"We can decorate the day after tomorrow. Plan the meal and everything," she tells Kakashi, already planning things out in her head. Her nose is picking up the smell of hot cocoa and her eyes are already looking for the stand.
The side eye Kakashi is sending her tells Alex that he knows well enough what she's after. Alex rolls her eyes. Well ok, he could help then. Kakashi must read her answering expression correctly because he sighs at her. She doesn't complain because he's already guiding them to the right place and she's too busy admiring the chocolate on display to be bothered by his sass levels.
There's probably way too much sugar on the concoction she bought for herself. Alex can admit that to herself. In her own mind at least, there's no way she'll give Kakashi the satisfaction of saying it out loud. They're walking around, not really talking but enjoying the company.
They end up on a small table, which is stalling and she knows it but she really doesn't feel like going back home just yet. This is relaxing. Even if once the sugar is out of her system, she's probably going to drop. Kakashi knows it too if the way he's eyeing her means something.
She rolls her eyes at him. "I needed this," she assures him with a smile, letting her contentment seep into her voice.
Kakashi raises his eyebrow at her.
Alex returns the favour because she feels like being a little shit and won't be answering until he asks. There's some silence and then he sighs, all put upon. Which really, she should tell him one day that she's onto him and his fake exasperation but for the moment she lets him continue with the illusion. He keeps looking at her, though, and after a while, she can't help the laugh that escapes her.
"It's not that I don't want to tell you, Kashi. It's more along the lines that it isn't something I can do," she lets him know.
Something in Kakashi's gaze goes hard so fast Alex can't help how she pulls back.
"You can't?" His voice is quiet but as sharp as the steel she knows he keeps hidden all over him. It's probably the first time Alex has felt unnerved by him.
Kakashi has always had the distinct undercurrent of a predator but this is the first time that a part of her is going "I might just be the prey". Alex blinks at him, a little bewildered. But she still does her best to answer as clearly as she can because she has stumbled on some sort of mine and until she figures out what the problem is, it's better to not make any assumptions.
"It's not that I can't as in I am physically incapable of it. It's more along the lines of legally I am not allowed to do it. NDA, you know?"
Bull's head is on her lap out of the sudden and she realizes with a start that she has no idea where Pakkun is anymore.
"NDA?" Kakashi asks.
She looks at him uncomprehending for a minute until she understands that he's not merely confirming what she said but that he actually doesn't understand what that is. "Non-disclosure agreement. It means legally I am not allowed to let any third party know anything of the information I'm privy to for work purposes. Unless I suspect foul play in which case I'm allowed to report it to an authority. And only an authority."
Although Kakashi's demeanour eases a bit, it's still tense. Alex opens her mouth to ask but Kakashi beats her to it. "But you're worried." There's no question mark on that statement but Alex can still feel the demand for information.
She presses her lips together, thinking on how to phrase things. "I'm good at my job, Kakashi. Very good at it, do you understand?" Alex waits until he nods to her words so she can continue. "I've got it, ok? Do you understand that?"
There's some hesitation in him, some reluctance in answering and she can feel some irritation creeping up. Alex does her best to push it down, it's not the moment for it. She presses her lips together as the only sign of irritation she will let show. There's really not much she can answer, not nicely anyway. So she ends up sighing before asking: "What do you need?"
Kakashi looks at her like he knows well enough how irritating this conversation is turning up to be for her but he still shows no signs of backing off. "I would like to know more."
Really, that man. She bites back the snap that she can feel bubbling up on the back of her throat because she just finished telling him that she can't talk to him about it.
Alex breathes deep to calm herself down and then tries to figure out a way to tell him something without breaking the NDA. "Let's just say that the person doing my job before me wasn't all that good at it. There's a lot of what she did that makes no sense. It's been stressing me out because it's now on me to fix it."
Kakashi's gaze on her tells her he's not really done with the digging.
Unfortunately for him, she's not going to go around bending those rules for him anymore. Her job, the integrity in which she does it. It's important to her and as such, it's important to her that he understands that. Understand and respect it. So she levels him with an unimpressed gaze in return and says sharply: "Kakashi, stop it."
Kakashi looks at her, a little taken aback. Alex rarely denies him anything. That's just how she is, she likes spoiling the people she cares about so mostly she allows him to do as he pleases. Most of the time with an indulgent smile, sometimes with a little exasperation and every now and then with actual irritation.
She almost never stops him in his tracks but on this, she's not going to bend and Alex needs Kakashi to understand that. Alex doesn't touch his work, all those things he goes out to do and sometimes he tells her about. She understands none on it and some of it actually makes her uncomfortable. But on that, she holds herself back and defers to him.
Simply because he's the one with military experience, the one who was trained for all of that and so she won't go around trying to tell him how to do his work. She still worries, of course, and he indulges her mothering with a put upon sigh but never fights her on it. Alex needs him to give her the same courtesy. She's good at what she does, damn good at it as well. She's proud of it.
Her work is important to her, she has plans for her future and the foundation for them need to be laid down now. So Alex works on it, block by block she builds the path that is going to take her from where she is to where she wants to be and that's non-negotiable. She's not about to drop everything that is important to her, everything that defines her, because Kakashi asks it of her.
She loves him, of course, she does. She just loves herself just as much. She needs Kakashi to understand that, to comprehend that like she won't ask him to compromise himself, she won't stand for him asking it of her. Compromise is good, in every kind of relationship, it's necessary even. But it has a limit, there are things that can't be negotiated on. Kakashi needs to understand that.
So she holds his gaze until he understands that she won't be back off on this. That on this she won't be indulging him. And when he does, when he breaks off the eye contact, she leans back a bit and bits back the sigh that threatens to escape her. Alex understands, really, that this is Kakashi's version of mothering, that he's simply worried and trying to protect her.
She does have a problem with the fact that Kakashi's version of protecting her is not to stand by her side but in front of her, that he for some reason thinks that it is alright to simply take over whatever issue she might have and solve it without so much as asking for her input on all of that. It's irritating but at the same time, she can understand that Kakashi is simply used to doing it that way. At least when civilians are involved.
Alex knows, from what Kakashi has told her, that Kakashi's interaction with civilians is more work-oriented than anything else. Missions of protection, assassination or escort among other things. So of course, Kakashi's line of thought would immediately follow the pattern of "civilian in danger: identify the threat and eliminate it accordingly."
It makes sense. But this is not that kind of relationship, they're friends, equals. And so, she needs Kakashi to learn to react accordingly. Alex doesn't normally overly mind. She can be patient enough to learn with him how to handle this relationship, how to make a dynamic that works for both of them. All Alex needs for now is to see Kakashi willing to do the same and so far she has not been disappointed.
When Kakashi doesn't answer, she reaches for him and he raises his hand from his lap onto the table so she can intertwine their fingers together and talks to him. "Look Kashi, I need you to trust me, ok? I know what I'm doing and I need you to understand that. And if I suspect I'm going to need help on something or if I feel something is wrong or concerning enough, I need you to trust that I will go straight to you for help. Ok?"
Kakashi doesn't look entirely mollified by the whole thing but he still nods at her and raises both their hands to his masked lips so he can kiss the back of her palm. Alex smiles at him and startles when she feels Pakkun cold paws climbing to Bull's head which is still in her lap.
"There you are! Where did you disappear to?" Alex asks him, a little surprised and she's a little shocked to see the pug's cheeks redden.
"Pakkun?" She would very much like to know what is going on. When she turns to look at Kakashi, the amused glint in his eyes tells her he knows something and finds it funny. "What is going on?" She asks to them all but Pakkun ignores the question, Kakashi is already hiding his face behind one of her comic-books and Bull can't answer her, for obvious reasons.
Assholes. The lot of them. It's probably the testosterone. It has to be. There's really no other option.
She rolls her eyes at them and stands up, dislodging Bull's head from her lap. Alex kisses Bull's nose when he huffs at her and flicks Pakkun's ear with her hand. She has not forgotten how he told on her. Which reminds her that she is starving. "Come on, guys. Let's go back. I'm starving."
It doesn't take long for Kakashi and the dogs to fall in step with her.
There's a bit of silence and then: "Starving? How surprising," Kakashi comments drily.
Alex sends him a dirty look because she's not sure he means that she's always hungry or because she forgot to eat. Both apply, either way. Alex doesn't answer anyway. They walk in silence in the vague direction of a hostel that Alex saw on their way to the market.
"Alex, I was thinking…"
That's way too perfect an opening to disregard so she doesn't let him finish. "That's nice, Kashi. Did it hurt?" She asks him, forcing her voice into a disinterested drawl.
He sends her a dirty look and she laughs at him.
He snorts before he answers. "Not really, no. Unlike others, I do exercise that muscle often."
Alex bites back the grin that tries to pull her lips upward and plasters on a mock-angry expression instead. "Them's fighting words, Kashi!" She exclaims.
Kakashi puts his hand over his chest and makes himself look scandalized. "I would never!"
Alex whirls around on him. "Of course you wouldn't! You know better now," she tells him, all smug.
The look he sends her is amused and she sticks her tongue out to him.
"Of course I do, it would not be fair to fight a midget." He explains to her sagely.
She snorts. "Hobbit, Kakashi. How many times do I have to tell you? Hobbit! Which is why I eat at least seven meals a day."
He laughs at her and she sends him a smile.
Pakkun snorts at them from his spot on Bull's head. "I'm surrounded by idiots," he laments drily.
Kakashi and she send a look to each other.
Silent understanding in place, Kakashi pushes Pakkun off of Bull's head and as soon as Pakkun hits the ground, Kakashi is grabbing her and they're off. It takes some manoeuvering but then she's on his back, arms around his shoulders, hands clasped by his collarbone and her legs around his hips. His hands hold her legs so she won't fall off. She laughs as Kakashi runs, uncaring for the moment of the wind hitting her face.
Pakkun and Bull are hot on their heels and Kakashi angles them so that they're going straight to the forest. Pakkun comes out of nowhere and he almost bites Kakashi's leg.
Alex holds on harder. "Faster! They're catching up!"
Kakashi chuckles at her and holds her harder. She takes the hint and tightens her own hold. And then they're flying. Or close enough, at least.
Kakashi is jumping from place to place and Alex hides her smile against his neck. It doesn't take long for them to reach the forest and then Kakashi is somehow up on top of the trees and still jumping. Alex is taunting Pakkun and Bull in turns, she can feel the way Kakashi's chuckles make his chest vibrate.
It doesn't take them that long to make it all the way to the apartment. Kakashi sneaks them in through the balcony and she sends him a faintly admonishing look but tells him nothing about doors and proper entrances. The smile he sends her tells her how much her light annoyance entertains him.
Alex huffs but still says nothing and when she catches sight of both dogs in the distance, she scrambles to close the balcony on them. She can feel Kakashi's smugness from where she stands and she rolls her eyes at him. It surprises her, sometimes, how good she's become at reading Kakashi's moods and expressions based solely on body language and the small portion of his face that he leaves visible.
Maybe it shouldn't. They spend so much time together that it'd be silly not to. But it still makes her feel good that she can. The moments that Kakashi notices how smug she feels about it are frequent but it still makes her smile. How he looks at her like he knows what he's thinking and finds it a cross between funny and adorable against his better judgment. Alex uses that to the best of her ability sometimes.
It's funny how he's supposed to have this fearsome reputation but he folds like paper at Pakkun's, Bull's or her puppy eyes. It's funny but most of all, it's adorable. It makes her feel warm inside. It's nice to know that as much as she folds for him, he does the same. Alex has always been one to jump with two feet-in in a relationship, of any kind. Most people don't really like that, they find it intimidating.
In some cases, they take advantage of how much she's willing to do for those she cares for. Not always willingly, either. Or knowingly. Sometimes people just get so used to what she does for them that they take it for granted or like it's simply their dues. It makes for uncomfortable situations sometimes. Not Kakashi, though. Kakashi takes everything Alex gives him like it's precious to him. It gives her the warmest feeling.
They end up cuddling on the couch, a YouTube video on the background but none of them are really paying attention to. Maria Paula Romo keeps on talking about the Diesel prices, Alex is listening only with half an ear. It's already late enough that they should have gone to bed. Why they decided on the couch, Alex will never know.
"What language is this?" Kakashi asks, mostly out of the blue.
Alex has gotten used to Kakashi's curiosity a long time ago. So she answers readily enough. "Spanish," she knows he mostly likes more context with his answers but she's halfway to asleep and can't be bothered to comply. If he really cares about it, he will either wake her up or wait until she's coherent enough to answer.
There are hands on her hair and she sighs a little at the movement of Kakashi's fingers, it almost sends her to sleep. Except Kakashi's still talking so she makes an effort to pay enough attention to make sense of what he's trying to say. "How many languages do you speak?"
And oh, but she knows where this is going.
Alex sits up, her legs folded under her and her back to the backrest of the couch. Kakashi's still laying down so she's essentially sitting on his stomach. Kakashi looks vaguely apologetic but that's fine, she knows how Kakashi can get and she really doesn't mind as much as she makes it look like sometimes.
One of Kakashi's hands finds its way to her leg and she lays hers on top of his for a second before busying herself by putting her hair up. "Well spoken? Three."
Kakashi is silently looking at her so she elaborates. "Spanish, German and English."
Kakashi hums at her and she can already see the gears turning in his head. So Alex just waits him out.
He'll either reach one conclusion or several and tell her about it or he'll ask more questions. Until he figures out the conclusion part.
"Which languages are we speaking?" He asks and she blinks at him bemusedly for a second. Except that his question makes sense, she realizes. Because they come for two places that seemingly have no contact at all and yet, here they are, speaking the same language.
It probably is named differently where he comes from. Or Kakashi and his team picked up an entirely foreign language on their own and really quickly as well.
"English," she informs him. To the point in that one because there's nothing to elaborate on.
Kakashi just hums. It takes a little while but soon enough, Kakashi starts talking again. "So, there should be more connection between here and the Elemental Nations one way or the other. Otherwise, we wouldn't be speaking the same language. There are differences, of course, but it's more in idiom than anything else. The same could be said between the Hidden Villages." He's mostly thinking out loud. And yes, Kakashi is right on that.
"Would you teach me?" Kakashi inquires even as he tugs her back down, she makes herself comfortable grumbling about the bed being right there and how they're going to get cold through the night because it's winter and she's never been good with cold. But she answers him once she's settled anyway.
"Sure, Kashi."
Sure enough, she wakes up halfway through the night because she's too damn cold. Kakashi wakes as soon as she leaves the couch. He rolls his eyes at her when he makes him carry even more blankets for the bed. There are never enough blankets in winter, Kakashi knows not what he speaks.
Still, he indulges her even as the bed looks like a monstrosity when she finishes arranging both her armful of blankets and his. Poor Kakashi might be overheated but he says nothing on it and she doesn't ask. Alex only makes herself comfortable from her position halfway under him, halfway nestled to his side.
When she wakes up, Kakashi is reading on her phone. Alex might have created a monster when she showed him how to read on the cell. For whatever reason, he enjoys reading whatever she has open on her browser at the time. He had been so disappointed when he found out she didn't care about spoilers at all.
It takes her a while to process that he's not wearing his mask but she's still too sleepy to care at the moment. Not much, anyway. So Alex only pokes his cheek and hums inquiringly.
"I couldn't breathe," Kakashi deadpans at her.
She nods vaguely in acceptance. That makes sense. That tone is lost on her so soon after waking up.
She only grumbles a little when he moves her. Kakashi likes listening to her heart sometimes while he reads so she's gotten used to it. Alex wakes up gradually, her hand somehow moved to Kakashi's head so she starts petting him. But she's warm and comfortable so she tries to lull herself back to sleep.
Except Kakashi is poking her side and Alex grumbles at him. He doesn't back off, however, and she pulls a little on a silver lock of hair in admonishment. He doesn't let her fall asleep, though, and it takes her a couple of minutes to admit defeat. She huffs at him and pushes him off so she can stand up. Kakashi goes with it.
"You're the one who wanted to work today."
She ignores him even as she reaches for her phone to check the weather and put on some music. She's nice like that. It's going to snow today, of course, it is. Ugh. Whatever, positive attitude. Alex gives her phone back to Kakashi after starting her App for her morning routine. The timer for the 15 minutes to relax starts.
She debates if she should reach for her tablet so that she can read something seeing as Kakashi is holding on to her phone but she decides against it. It's not like she has the concentration for it, anyway. Kakashi lays his head on her lap and she starts petting him even as she decides to just lay there, her back resting on the headboard. His "I just woke up hair" is hilarious. It always is.
Kakashi's mouth is slightly open as he reads. Huh. Kakashi has fangs. The tip of one of them is resting over his bottom lip. She thinks about it for a second and then she decides that fuck it. She's doing it. Alex hooks one of her fingers behind it. Kakashi only grumbles at her a bit and she smiles. It's weird how he can be so adorable sometimes and so scary in others.
Kakashi pushes his tongue against her finger for a second but she ignores it. She used to do this to her dogs back at her parent's house and maybe it's weird that she has decided in replicating that with Kakashi now but he doesn't seem to mind and she has always liked doing that, for some reason.