Magic & Mead

Chapter Thirteen: Waking & Wondering

Thor woke at some point with a crick in his neck from the awkward position he'd fallen asleep in. The study had grown chilly; he stood and went into his bedchambers, where he retrieved a couple of blankets. He draped one over Loki and wrapped the other around himself. He stood there looking down at Loki sleeping peacefully, his dark hair falling unruly over the side of his face and the cushion his head rested on.

Thor had always known his little brother was something precious; he'd been admonished all his life to "be careful with Loki" and to "take care of Loki" and to "look after Loki." Thor was only ten months older and hadn't been able to do much "looking after" for a while, but he suspected a lot of that came from his parents' fear that Thor would play too rough with the smaller child and accidentally hurt him. Loki wasn't so delicate, really, but he did get sick more often and he got those muscle pains sometimes and in some strange way seemed a little more fragile in general, though Thor knew better than to ever say anything like that – he didn't want a bloody nose. When he was sleeping, though…when he was sleeping Loki looked like porcelain that breathed and was frighteningly easily broken.

Because they were so close in age, Thor couldn't remember his little brother ever not being there. When they were younger they could hardly stand to be separated from each other at all. They'd shared a crib, then a bed in their own room within their parents' chambers, and when Thor turned ten and was given his own chambers on the floor below, Loki had cried and been unable to sleep and Thor had failed miserably at pretending he was happy about the change, which was soon undone. Thor was thirteen and Loki twelve by the time they consistently slept in their own separate chambers instead of frequently winding up both in one room or the other.

They'd spent their days together, too, and the start of Thor's formal lessons at age five had gone horribly. Thor's loneliness expressed itself in a terrible stomachache and a worse temper, and each day their mother walked down to meet him at the classroom door for lunch break, Loki in hand, and Loki launched himself into Thor's arms. After four days of that, Thor had simply left early on his own and taken Loki with him. Mother had been a little upset because she'd worried, but not that upset, because she'd found Loki in the very first place she looked. After that, no one questioned that Loki would go with Thor to his lessons, and Loki had sat quietly beside him the whole time, sometimes drawing with colored pens, sometimes listening, sometimes trying to copy what Thor wrote. When Loki started his own formal lessons, very little changed – he'd already learned reading and writing and other basic skills. The only thing that really changed was that Loki had to actually participate in the lessons and therefore couldn't draw whenever he felt like it, which proved a difficult habit to break and got him in a fair amount of trouble at first.

Throughout all those years, when people often referred to the brothers as twins although they looked very dissimilar, Thor was always conscious that he was the older brother. Loki was the little brother, Thor the big brother, even when Loki grew taller than him at around age eleven. He had grown up with so much "be careful with Loki" that he'd gotten the idea, for a time, that his little brother truly was breakable. When Loki started trying to walk, Thor, barely two, decided this was a bad thing and would tell him "no" and try to pick Loki up and carry him. He didn't remember much of this – he'd simply heard it enough in those embarrassing family stories – but he vividly remembered making Loki bawl and scream and kick his legs when Thor stopped him from trying to go up the stairs.

Somewhere along the way, things had changed. They'd realized they weren't twins, and Thor had realized that "look after Loki" didn't mean he actually needed to keep him in sight constantly. They didn't have to spend every minute together. There could be other friends. There could even be girls. But they would always be best friends and they would always be brothers – Thor the big brother and Loki the little brother. And Thor had failed as a big brother.

All he'd wanted to do was play a little trick on Loki. It seemed only fair; Loki was always playing tricks, mostly on him. But nobody got hurt from Loki's tricks. Not permanently, anyway, he thought, recalling a few of the things he'd let Loki try out on him. He'd nearly killed Loki with his mead trick, because for once he'd actually been able to successfully tell a lie. Because Loki trusted his big brother. He would destroy anyone who tried to hurt Loki. So what in the Nine Realms had made him think it would be funny to make his little brother get drunk? Thor had gotten sick from the tankard he'd drunk with Fandral one night. He didn't know the answer. But he knew it would never happen again.

Thor looked down at his sleeping brother, knees pulled up toward his chin, exactly as he'd been before Thor had spread the blanket over him. He felt his heart swelling with affection for this little brother and best friend, and put his cheek in front of Loki's mouth as he'd seen his mother do. Soft, steady puffs of warm air brushed his cheek. Thor drew in a shaky breath. He would really rather go sleep in his own bed, but there was something reassuring, something comforting about remaining close to Loki, as if he could somehow make up for abandoning him two nights ago. He ruffled Loki's hair, then curled up on the other end of the sofa and watched him sleep until his own eyes drifted closed again.

M & M

M & M

Thor woke to his mother's hand on his cheek.

"Good morning," she whispered.

He groaned, rotated his neck, stretched his arms above his head, and his mother sat back on her heels in front of the sofa where he'd slept. Where Loki had slept, too. His eyes darted back and forth between Loki – who was still asleep – and his mother.

"He's fine, Mother. I made sure he stayed warm. And I checked his breathing, just in case," Thor whispered, prepared to get in trouble for letting Loki spend the night on a sofa in his study instead of Loki's own bed. Thor's whisper wasn't as quiet as Frigga's though, and Loki began to stir.

"I know," she said, smiling. "I was worried, though, when Loki wasn't in his chambers. I do wish you boys would tell someone when you do something like that." The two Einherjar on the boys' floor could have reported Loki's whereabouts, but even before the boys had turned ten they'd started trying to evade the guards who kept watch over them, so an understanding was reached among them all that Thor and Loki would not hide from the Einherjar, the Einherjar would do their jobs but keep their confidence and give them their privacy, and Frigga and Odin would respect that privacy and not use the Einherjar as informers on every move the boys made. It was a difficult change for Frigga at first, but ultimately it was her sons' safety she was concerned about, and she felt this was the best way to ensure that Thor and Loki accepted the guards' presence as they grew older, and should her adventuresome boys really find themselves in danger they would not be alone and additional help could be summoned.

They had flaunted that agreement not so long ago when they'd hid not only from their guards but also from Asgard's guardian – in a rather stunning demonstration of a leap in Loki's flair for magic – and traveled to Svartalfheim in secret. The Einherjar who had their watch were from the most elite unit of warrior guards, and were hardly fooled by a couple of youths. They had done exactly as Frigga would have wanted, following the boys in stealth for their protection, then reporting the incident immediately upon their safe return. She and Odin argued into the wee hours of the morning afterward; she in a panic and he proud of their bravery and temerity, which turned her panic into a rage. In the end she'd allowed herself to be convinced that saying nothing – and posting an additional stealth Einherjar at the entrance to the cave with the secret portal – was the wisest course of action. At least this way the boys would think they were successfully slipping past their guards but would never actually be without their protection. If they knew they'd been caught, she feared they'd only improve their skills at eluding them.

After their rule-breaking journey to Svartalfheim Thor had claimed to be sick, through Loki who did all the talking in lies Frigga might have believed had she not known the truth. And that was difficult to swallow as well, because she couldn't say anything about it. Still, in their behavior they were as transparent as the wind, as Loki insisted he needed to stay by Thor's side for days and was nervous and lacked an appetite for days more.

Thor was looking glum now; Frigga gave him a tired smile and ran a hand down his long blond locks. It would be time for the Barber Battle again soon. "That was Loki's responsibility in this case, not yours. Besides, when I can't find one of you, I simply look for the other one and usually find the one I'm missing." She gave him a wink, then leaned forward and kissed his forehead. Frigga stood and took a few steps to her right, toward Loki, who was rubbing his eyes and sitting up, his blanket falling to his lap.

"Someone's been redecorating, I see," she said after kissing his forehead. She knew her boys and she easily recognized Loki's handiwork in the odd new layout of Thor's furniture.

His head twisted around to take in the room with a raised eyebrow, then looked back at her with that sweet-but-not-entirely-innocent smile that never failed to lessen her resolve to be stern with her younger son.

She sighed. "If Thor wants you to put it back, you put it back. No arguing. All right?"

"All right," Loki said, sneaking a quick look at Thor, who stuck his tongue out. Loki gave a huff and leaned back into the sofa. If he stuck his tongue out in return, he'd be seen.

"I shudder to think how late you boys must have stayed up last night," Frigga said, stepping back a bit so she could see both sons. "You're running late now. Your breakfasts are getting cold and your tutor is waiting for you."

Eager not to add to his punishment, Thor nodded, threw off his blanket, and shot up to his feet.

"One more thing," Frigga said, bringing Thor to a halt, while Loki hugged a cushion to his chest, less eager to get up and put his feet on the cold stone floor. "Your lessons have been shortened today and your training has been cancelled."

"But Mother-" both boys said, more or less in unison, Thor unwilling to give up his sole outdoors time and Loki unwilling to delay working out a strength training plan with their instructors.

"Come up to our dining room for lunch, and then you'll spend the afternoon with your father and me."

Both boys reacted to this with excitement, Thor asking over Loki's voice if they could take a trip together somewhere. "A hunt would be fun," he added.

Frigga groaned. "No hunting. I'm too tired for that. Besides, it wouldn't be any fun at all since you wouldn't be allowed to join us."

Thor sighed and nodded. With Frigga turned away from him Loki thought about sticking out his tongue, but Thor looked so crestfallen he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"All right. Up-up-up," she said, clapping her hands together in time with the words. Loki scrambled to his feet, grimacing and hopping from foot to foot, while Thor hurried into his bedchambers to get dressed. Loki plopped back down on the sofa and wrapped the blanket around himself.

"It's too cold," he complained.

"And whose fault is that? There used to be a nice warm rug in front of this sofa."

Loki sat up taller and looked over the back of the sofa to the brown and white goatskin marking its former location. That smile was back when he turned back around.

"Well, if you're really too cold, I could carry you," Frigga said, half-teasing. If Loki said yes she'd actually have to back out of the not-terribly-serious offer – her back was aching and Loki was, after all, fourteen.

Loki was tempted to say yes. He was still sleepy and his mother's arms were better than any blanket. But Thor would never let him hear the end of it, and he was, after all, fourteen. He got back up with a pout, found his boots, and tugged them on.

"You better hurry, Loki," Thor said when Loki and Frigga went through the bedchambers where Thor was already dressing. "I'm not going to wait for you."

Loki ignored him. It wasn't true anyway. Thor always waited for Loki, and Loki always waited for Thor.

"Do we still have our poetry lesson today?" Loki asked as they walked through the corridor toward Loki's chambers, Frigga's arms loosely over his shoulders.

"You still have everything, just in shorter blocks. Did you finish reworking your poem?"

Loki nodded and stared hard at the floor, hoping she wouldn't ask if Thor had helped.

They came to a stop outside his door. "Mother…"

"Yes, Loki," she said, smiling at his hesitation, and at the thoughts so clearly whirling around in his mind.

"You don't have to punish Thor for so long. I know he didn't mean for anything bad to happen."

Frigga pulled him into a hug. "I know that. And I'm glad you know it. I'm glad you aren't angry with him. But he did make a serious mistake, and that's all I'm going to say about it to you. It's between Thor and me. You and I, however, still have to talk about your own actions. This afternoon, all right?"

Loki nodded and pulled away from his mother, dejected. He'd tried to help Thor out and all he'd gotten for it was a reminder of his own trouble. He'd hoped that she considered that taken care of through his apology to his father and earning his father's forgiveness. Apparently now they had a whole afternoon to spend going over all his and Thor's bad decisions. Thor was right, hunting would have been better.

"Go on, you'll be keeping your brother waiting now, too."

Loki nodded again, then remembered to add a more polite "Yes, Mother," and went into his chambers where a breakfast tray with foods gone cold had been left. He didn't really have time for it anyway so he almost skipped it, but changed his mind when he realized that he probably wouldn't be able to eat much at lunch. Remaining on his feet he ate as much as he could bear – he strongly disliked eating cold foods that were supposed to be hot – then rushed about getting ready to meet Thor at the stairs.

M & M

"Today" is the last day of this story. There's one more "thing" left to happen (if you have a really good memory for details and are reading Beneath you might guess what it is), and several loose ends to tie up amidst some family togetherness moments with strokes of foreshadowing. It'll be probably two chapters total left, but not sure, only part of it is written as of today, 1/17/13. Any guesses as to the loose ends? Any questions yourself? I think I've got them all covered in the plans for the rest of the story, but if you think of one I've forgotten you'll certainly have my thanks! There is *one* loose end I'm deliberately not going to tie, basically it's beyond the scope of this story the way the final scenes are set up. And there are a few things raised in this chapter that will not be further delved into in this story, but maybe in another one at some point. Anything you'd like to see expanded on? I'm open to ideas for inclusion in another story I have in mind that would cover large swaths of their childhood/youth years (can't guarantee I'd use 'em but maybe!).

One guest reviewer response: jacqueline, my intent with Loki's reaction to what Thor did, was that he was angry not over the intent of what Thor did, but the result. But it worked out okay in the end, so everything's cool now...sort of. Loki never did actually forgive him, at least not overtly. This will be very briefly addressed again, but from a different angle. Throw in a millennium of feeling second-best and a well-timed revelation about his genetics, however, and there's a lot of revisionist history going on in his head. And response to all reviewers, thank you! I really truly enjoy hearing your reactions.

For some reason I find the image of Thor learning math or whatever while Loki sits there quietly beside him drawing absolutely adorable...

Thank you for reading, thank you for reviewing!