A/N: I promise this chapter will be 'coolies'! I appreciate all your reviews!

Tobi woke up the next morning wondering why he was outside. Once he stopped wondering that, he started wondering why he wasn't cold. It then occurred to him that he had fallen asleep outside with Deidara last night. Two mysteries solved, not bad for first thing in the morning. Tobi looked around, and felt the need to stretch. He slipped gently out from under Deidara and stood up. Tobi stretched his arms over his head and stretched, his muscles taut under his clothing. He then realized his cloak wasn't on him. Surprised, he looked back at Deidara, who was happily snuggled in his cloak. Tobi smiled down at the artist. Deidara mumbled something. "What was that, Sempai?" he asked, bending over.

"I said stupid fucking piece of shit, hmm," Deidara replied, sitting up and fiddling with his mechanical eye. Tobi smiled and shook his head.

"Good morning," he said.

"Right, good morning," Deidara coughed, regular eye closed as he focused all his attention on the mechanical one. Finally he gave up and let his hands fall into his lap. He looked up at Tobi, and an awkward silence fell on the two. Deidara coughed again. "It wasn't very cold last night, was it, un?" Tobi shook his head.

"Nope, I guess we kept each other warm," he said, standing up. "Come on, let's get some breakfast. Does cereal sound good?" Tobi held a hand out to help Deidara stand. Tentatively, the artist took it and hoisted himself up.

"I don't mind if you don't mind," Deidara replied. Together, they walked back to HQ.

Tobi and Deidara sat in their room, a bowl of cereal in each of their laps. Deidara knew Tobi was talking to Madara, and ate in silence.

'You never notice anything. All you care about is satisfying your sick, perverted needs.'

/I do too notice things!/ Madara replied.

'You sound like a kid. And when was the last time you noticed anything?'

/I notice how little Deidara eats./ Madara retorted. Tobi faltered, glancing at the artist. Deidara was staring off into space, but the bowl in his hands wasn't very large, nor overly filled with cereal.

'You just noticed that right now. What about before?'

/I noticed that Deidara didn't want to be touched that one time, remember?/

'That was sort of obvious, Madara.'

/I noticed and pointed out the athelas to Deidara./

'Madara, have you ever noticed how the things you say make Deidara feel?' asked Tobi. Madara stayed silent for a long while. 'Madara, maybe no one's ever taught you to be anything but a killer. Has anyone ever showed you how to be nice?'

/The fuck, Tobi?/

'I see. Well, this morning, Deidara felt a bit awkward, because of something that happened last night. Now, if I had brought that up, it wouldn't have made him feel any better. But by changing the subject, and saying something mostly neutral, I was able to distract him from that and he ended up feeling a little better. Did that make sense?' Madara grumbled. Tobi sighed aloud. Deidara looked up.

"Making any progress, un?" he asked. Tobi shook his head.

"Madara is too proud,"

"I know, un," Deidara looked down at his bowl, then set it off to the side. Tobi made a mental note of this. Deidara sighed. "Can you ask him why he was touching Itachi?"

/I was only playing with Itachi, nothing more./

'Madara, that's not what Deidara wants to hear. He wants to know what feelings made you reach out to Itachi like that.'

/Sadistic ones. Tell him to stop getting his thong in a knot over this./

'Does that mean he's still the one you choose?'

/Where the hell did you get that?/

'Never mind. But Deidara wants to hear that you don't want your little mix-up to change things between you and him. You don't want things to change, do you?/ Silence. Tobi cleared his throat.

"Deidara, um, Madara doesn't really know how to express himself. So I'm going to do it right now," Deidara sat perfectly still. "Madara doesn't really know anything, either, about people and emotions and things. I guess none of us really knows how to act," Tobi scratched the back of his head.

/I swear, once I find a way to use Itachi's body, I will kill you./

'You're going to use Itachi's body?' Silence. 'You know, Orochimaru failed at-'

/Shut up and keep talking to Deidara. He doesn't know why you stopped./ Tobi coughed.

"Madara isn't like that," Deidara sighed. "Of course he knows about all that. Don't try to make everything sound like it's fine, un,"

"Sempai, maybe things are fine," Tobi tried. Deidara said nothing. Tobi realized he had poked a sore spot. Tobi sighed, leaning back. Deidara shook his head, and looked back up at Tobi. "The answer is probably shining right there in front of us, but until we can shine we won't see it," Deidara sighed. 'Don't jump to conclusions,' Tobi hoped. 'Please, if only you could see inside Madara's mind. He might mean harm, but not to you. You don't know what you'd find, Deidara. You have no clue.'

Deidara and Tobi spent the rest of the time before lunch training. Deidara was still as random, but not as sadistic. He told Tobi to do a certain amount of push ups, then run around those five trees sixteen times. And finally, after a few hours, Deidara consented to a lunch break. And Madara kept silent, all day.

Deidara and Tobi sat across from each other at the table in the Akatsuki HQ. Tobi had a sandwich before him, and Deidara had nothing. "Hey, Sempai, are you going to ear anything?" Tobi asked. Deidara shook his head.

"Nah, I don't eat lunch, un," he replied.

"You don't eat a lot," Tobi noted. Deidara shrugged.

"I never really did," he said. This was actually the first time someone had pointed this out to him. Looking at his arms, Deidara wondered if it was true. They didn't look overly skinny to him, but then again, compared to others he was a stick. Sitting back, Deidara soon found him lost in the long explanation of why he didn't eat much. Of course, as a kid there hadn't a lot of food to eat in general. Had it just stuck from there? Of course, serial killers didn't eat a lot either, nor did they watch their weight. So what was Tobi trying to say? Deidara was about to voice his questions, when an all too familiar head poked around the corner.

"Deidara-san, Leader-sama wants you in his office," Itachi said emotionlessly. Deidara sighed and stood up.

"I'll be back, hopefully, un," he said, walking down the hall to the office. He had the brains to knock, though.

"Enter," came the voice. Deidara stepped into the office, seating himself in the seat across from Leader.

"So, un, what did you want?" Deidara asked. Leader sighed.

"Deidara, please, I'm not in the mood. Just sit there quietly and let me explain what's going on," Deidara sighed but kept his mouth shut. "All right. I want you and Tobi to go on another mission. You'll be going to Fire Territory to retrieve a scroll for me. It's held at a temple in the middle of the forest. I expect you to be back in a week. Good luck, you may leave,"

". . .the fuck?" Deidara stared at Leader. As was a habit of his he looked closely at Leader's head. Everything seemed in order, but as always, you could never be too sure. "You expect me to find some generic scroll in some generic temple?"

"Exactly. Anything will really do,"

"What in the name of all that is unholy are you trying to pull?" Deidara cried, leaping to his feet. Leader sighed, dropping his head into his hands.

"Please, Deidara, I have a headache. I want you gone for a week. Konan is definitely due in the next week, and I'm sending everyone out. You know what? Come back in a week and a half. I just want you out of my hair for a while. So get going, right now,"

"Holy-"

"If you make up any more cusses then I swear, Deidara-"

"You knocked up Konan?!" Pein sighed.

"Yes, Deidara. Now move your skinny ass before I move it for you,"

"You threatening to rape me?"

"Get. Going. Or. Else."

"Got it," Deidara slipped out of the office, closing the door and leaning against it. Things were moving way too fast. Finally, he regained his composure. "Tobi!" he called. "We're taking a vacation!"

A/N: don't forget, three reviews! And thank you, I hope this chapter was coolies! (did you know the word 'coolies' is in the fucking dictionary?! Queen Elizabeth, the things I never knew!)