Chapter 14

Grissom's bathroom and shower were so much larger than the one in Sara's small apartment that it provided a luxury for her to experience. Grissom sat on the bathtub watching her as steam billowed around the glass.

"What do we need to talk about?" She asked.

"I don't think I am capable of talk while I'm watching you."

She giggled as she turned the water off. "Pass a towel, please, then we can have this talk." She hid her fear well. Her voice remained calm, neutral, with a hint of laughter. He would never know what she feared most.

He wrapped a large towel around her, another around her hair. "It's no big deal. I hope it's not a big deal." He returned to sit on the tub. He could watch her for hours as she dried her hair, applied lotion to her body, and dressed. Whatever she used, the fragrance was gone in a short while, but remained captive in the smell center of his brain, that 'Sara smell', he thought.

"I know you hate bugs." He hesitated for a minute, continuing, "I have bugs here."

She turned to face him, a faint smirk of amusement showing, "I know you have bugs—on the walls, like most people hang sunsets!"

"No, that's not all. Do you want to watch fireworks tonight? I think we can get to the strip. It's a pretty fantastic display for New Year's."

"Back to the bugs."

"In my office, here, I have an aquarium. Not fish, bugs. Live ones."

The look on her face was one of suppressed laughter. "Ok, is there a top on this aquarium? And do I ever have to feed them?"

His look was one of relief. "Top, secure. Well fed." His fingers touched. Sara knew there was more to come. "And in the garage. I have some in there. You don't have to go in there."

"I can deal with bugs. Just so they are not spiders."

"He's in my office at work."

Sara hid her face in her hands, laughing.

"I'm just happy you find it funny." He stood, wrapping his arms around her. "I was afraid you would run away."

"Bees. I don't like bees. Weird little creatures. Living in those tiny hives. Just don't ask me to handle bees, or roaches, can't stand those either." Grissom did not notice her obvious relief; or he thought it was because his bugs were not spiders.

"Let's go watch fireworks. Let's go see Vegas at night."

It wasn't just fireworks, but an implosion of one of the older hotels they got to watch. Thousands of people lined the strip to watch the countdown. Grissom held onto Sara as they made their way down crowded streets. Most of the police on duty knew him and let them cross barricades and pointed out better vantage points. After the last of the fireworks exploded, they made their way back to his car.

Grissom's pager beeped twice before he looked at it, glancing at Sara as he replaced it. "One stop before we head home. I want you to meet someone." He drove several blocks until they could see blue lights of a crime scene. He called to a man standing behind the yellow tape. "Brass, meet Sara Sidle." He watched the two as they shook hands, "He's really a good guy."

Brass laughed, saying "It's good to meet you, Sara. This guy wants to get you out of San Francisco."

Sara shook hands. "I'm not sure I'm ready for Las Vegas." She smiled as she looked at Grissom. "Maybe I should try to get him to San Francisco."

The two men talked about the crime, wished each other a happy new year, and parted.

Back in Grissom's house, Sara started a serious conversation. One she had thought of often, but never spoken.

"Grissom, I don't think I'm ready to move."

"Just think about it, ok." He was cooking eggs, never looked up.

Sara came to stand near him. "I've never been this—what do we call this—involved? With anyone before you. I don't want you to expect something from me that I can't give you."

He flipped the eggs onto a plate, adding cheese. "Sara, what do you want from me?"

"I'm happy with you." She reached to touch his face.

"Eat." He moved a plate to her and handed her a fork. "Then happy we will be. No more, no less. If it means we travel back and forth, then we can. When—if—one of us decided to move, that's fine." He hugged her. "I do think we should be together more often. And I know we work well together."

"We do." She giggled.

Another question formed in his mind. He was already forty. He had never thought about marrying someone; and remembered her boss' comment. He could wait.

Sara stayed three days. Grissom gave her space, time to drive around; he brought interesting cases home so she could read about the work he did. She would sleep with him during the day, curled like a kitten against his chest. Her scarf over a chair, her book opened on the table, a glass of water beside the bed told him his house felt like home to her.

On her last day, he left work early. She had already decided to drive back late in the afternoon, to avoid heavy traffic she said. They both knew the real reason was to have a few more hours together. Her scarf was gone, her book packed. His house already felt her absence.

She was in his kitchen, placing dishes in the cabinet when he walked in. "I hope you don't mind. I cleaned things up."

"You don't have to have permission to do anything here." He reached out and pulled her to him, wrapping arms around her. "Sara." He whispered.

She closed her eyes, letting her lips touch his neck at the hollow of his throat. She unfastened each button on his shirt, kissing the skin underneath. He lead her to the bedroom, carefully undressing her, pulling her t-shirt over her head, unsnapping her jeans, always keeping one hand caressing her body.

He said, "Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

Sara started to say something, but stopped. She touched his shoulder with her fingers, feeling the smoothness of his chest.

"I've wanted you all my life," he told her, and the way he said it made her tremble. He wrapped her in the sheet, asking "Are you ok?"

She nodded. He smiled as he traced her jaw, her chin, her lips, with his fingertips before seeking her lips with his. His heat she would remember when she was alone; how his body was always warm.

Grissom's eyes closed in after-sex drowsiness while she lay awake, not understanding completely how he could sleep so quickly and at the same time feeling that she was his protector while he slept. She watched him knowing certain contentment with life not easily found, especially for her.