The Inside

Quietly Mikey poked his head around the corner, looking into his bedroom. Spotting Donatello sitting at one of the two desks doing homework or something, he quickly slipped inside and shuffled over to his brother.

"Donnie?" he asked hesitantly when he stood at his side without getting much of a response. "…Are you still mad at me and Raph?"

The other turtle shrugged his shoulders but didn't look up from what he was working on. Mikey recognized it as their homework now. He should be doing his right now, but he just didn't feel like it. He was feeling too miserable, like he had been all week long.

"Please talk to me, Donnie…please?" he begged while gently plucking at the purple shirt his brother was wearing to hopefully get a response, any kind of response.

It worked.

Donatello put the pencil he was writing with down and sighed while turning his chair to face his brother, "What is it Mikey? What do you want?"

An instant smile appeared on Mikey's face, Don was finally talking to him! He flung himself at his brother, hugging him, too happy at no longer being ignored by at least one brother to care about Don's annoyed reply.

"Mikey! Get off!"

Giggling Mikey obeyed but was still grinning gratefully as he looked back at a glaring Donatello.

"What do you want, Mikey?!"

"I just want you to talk to me, Donnie! I don't want to share my room with a brother who won't even talk to me!"

"It's our room now, Mikey," Donatello sighed, dangling his legs as they didn't reach the floor.

"Well, yeah, I know, but you know what I mean." When he didn't get a response his smile faded again. "Are you still mad at me, Donnie?" The scowl he got in response made Mikey flinch.

"Well what do you expect, Mikey! First you and Raph scared the shell off of us by disappearing in the middle in the night, and when dad and uncle Splinter get home you two are lying in bed like nothing happened, and then they go looking for us, like we were the ones who sneaked away! And just to make matters even worse, it turns out you two were sitting on the roof of the house the whole time we were searching for you in those stinky sewers!" Don was breathing heavily now, "So yes, Mikey, I am still mad at you! And Raph!"

Mikey looked back at his brother with a trembling lower lip, and he wasn't faking it this time. "I'm sorry, Donnie," he mumbled and he really was, as he had been repeating over and over again to all his brothers this past week, even Raph.

"Yeah right."

Mikey tried to fight back tears.

"I'm really, really, really sorry, Donnie! We didn't mean for that to happen! Raph an' I…well, we had no idea you guys had left, we didn't know you were lookin' for us!" He was clutching Donatello's shirt again, trying to prevent him from turning away, trying to make his brother understand how bad he felt about the whole thing, that he hadn't done it on purpose. Donatello sadly shook his head and pushed Mikey's hands away to turn back to his homework.

Mikey whimpered as he watched Don through a teary haze pick up his pencil again and bend over the book in front of him. He was going to ignore him again! Desperate Mikey clutched the purple shirt again, "Donnie, I… You don't understand! Raph an' me, going outside to sit on the roof, that's our thing, you know? It was our secret. We…" Mikey didn't know how to end that sentence and sniffled, not bothering to stop the tears from leaking into his orange mask. "Donnie? Please don't ignore me again?"

Donatello sighed and leaned back into his chair without turning to look at his brother, "Why, Mikey? Why did you have to keep it secret from us?"

Encouraged his brother was willing to listen Mikey wiped his eyes quickly. Don slowly leaned his head back to sadly look at his brother. Wetting his lips to delay Mikey then grabbed the chair by the other desk in the room and pulled it over to sit next to Don. Hesitantly he looked his brother in the eye, hoping that telling him this wouldn't just make things worse. He didn't want his brothers to be mad at him and Raph anymore, especially the brother looking at him right now like he'd betrayed him. Mikey took a deep breath, held it, then sighed.

"Well…it's just that since Raph an' I moved here, and we no longer all shared a room, it was just like…well, like you three didn't need us anymore."

"What?" Don asked a bit confused, but he was listening more attentively now Mikey noted, "Why do you say that? We're brothers. We didn't ignore you or anything, did we?"

"Well, no, but…" Again Mikey hesitated as he tried to find a way to make Donatello understand how he and Raph had felt a gap, felt like they had been excluded from a private club. He took a deep breath, "You guys made us feel like we were no longer a part of the group anymore, you know? Like we're the baby brothers that don't understand anything. We're not stupid, Donnie, even if we're not as smart as you, or Shimi and Leo."

He bit his lip as he watched Donnie's shocked face, wondering if what he'd said had been the wrong thing to say. Putting his pencil down once more Donatello swiveled his chair around to fully face Mikey.

"Of course you're not stupid, Mikey! And neither is Raph! Why would you…we never thought you're stupid…"

Mikey smiled sadly, knowing Donnie thought he was telling the truth.

"Maybe you didn't think you were, but you sure treated us like it."

A few moments of awkward silence followed as neither brother knew what to say next.

"I'm sorry, Mikey," Don finally said, making Mikey look up again hopefully, "Maybe…I guess you're right. Maybe we did sort of leave you two out now and then. But, I swear we didn't mean to make you feel bad. It's just that, some of the stuff we talk about isn't the sort of thing you like to talk about."

Mikey nodded his head. He knew what Don was talking about. Leo and Shimi had a passion for training, discussing tactics, studying anything having to do with ninjitsu. And Donatello often joined in with them when they were researching some new topic that had taken their fancy, just like all three of them liked to discuss their lessons even when they didn't have to. All three of them simply liked to learn, and Mikey and Raph were a bit less enthusiastic about spending more time studying than absolutely necessary.

"I know, but still, it would have been nice if sometimes you did something we could all do together, instead of me always dragging you guys over."

Donatello bowed his head at this, and Mikey felt guilty for making his brother feel bad. He quickly smiled and jumped off of his chair and hugged Don again, "Don't feel bad, Donnie! I mean, I know you didn't do it on purpose!" To his relief his brother returned the hug this time.

Sitting back on the other chair again Mikey looked hopefully at his brother, "Are you still mad at me now, Donnie?"

Don returned a weak smile of his own, lowered his gaze and shook his head, "Nah, I guess not. I mean, it still isn't fair what happened," he looked up and Mikey felt a happy surge as he saw Don's smile was for real now, "But I guess maybe we haven't been fair to you either."

"And besides, it's not all bad, because now you an' me get to share a room!" Mikey said cheerfully, feeling very relieved now.

"Yeah," Don answered slowly and turned his head to look at the wall that separated the two bedrooms, "And besides, it wasn't your fault we got punished as well, you two were honest and confessed what really happened."

Mikey's smile fell again and he looked down at his feet, feeling guilty again.

"That's…kinda not completely true," he started, making Don look at him again with his mouth open in surprise. Mikey glanced up at him, swinging his legs nervously, "Dad punished the four of you pretty bad, but he barely said anything to me," he looked at Don, needing him to believe the next bit, "But it wasn't all Raph's fault, Donnie, even if that's what he told dad. I mean…" He hesitated, not wanting to get himself into trouble by revealing this to Donatello, but also feeling the need to defend Raph and explain what really happened.

"It wasn't even Raph's idea, you know. It was mine. To go out onto the roof?"

Judging by the stunned look that now covered his brother's face this came as a complete surprise. Mikey figured it would have.

"Your idea?? But, Mikey, why?! You know how dangerous it is, how stup…ehm, well, why would you want to do something that??"

Mikey hadn't missed how Donatello had quickly corrected himself, and gave him a smile for that. It had been stupid after all, Mikey had known this very well. But it had been worth it. Still, he couldn't stop the sad look from coming over his face as he looked down at his feet again.

"Well…it kinda wasn't just you guys. Raph…he didn't want to share a bedroom with me, you know. Not really. He was jealous of you guys. He said that he'd been stuck with the baby, while the rest of you got to have fun together." He couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice and when Don didn't say anything he continued, "So I wanted to prove to him that I wasn't a baby. I wanted us to do something fun, something that would make him like me more?"

"So you suggested to go outside?" Don said, nodding his head as he was starting to understand.

Mikey nodded as well, "Yeah. You know how Raph is always dying to go outside and explore. But it's too dangerous. Then one day, I dunno. The idea just popped into my head, you know? At first we just sat outside on the fire escape, and we always stayed in the shadows, but it was fun, Donnie! And it made Raph happy, he really liked being outside. He wasn't grumpy or anything when we sat outside, and we just talked. It was fun, so it just didn't seem like such a big deal anymore to climb all the way up to the roof and sit there instead," he finished with a wistful voice.

"I guess…I guess that makes sense. But it was still dangerous, Mikey. Not only could you have been seen, you could have fallen!"

"No way!" Mikey scoffed, finding it in him to grin a little again, "We're ninja, Don! We're agile like cats! Meow!"

Mikey felt himself relax as Donnie started to laugh.

"But yeah, it was pretty much my idea, yet dad didn't punish me at all."

Don snorted, still grinning, "You should be glad you're the baby, Mikey. It's no fun being grounded to your room for a whole week!"

"But at least you got stuck in a room with me, Donnie. Just think how the others are doing." Mikey had meant it as a joke but even so, neither brother smiled. They knew very well that the tension in the next room was very high indeed.

And it wasn't just the tension that was thick in this room; the silence that reigned was suffocating Raph. He was lying on his back on his bed, which was now located in the spot Don's bed used to stand by the door. He had his hands beneath his head as he stared at the ceiling. Well, more like glaring at the ceiling.

He could hear Leonardo over on his own bed, turning the pages of a book he was reading. And while he couldn't see Mashimi on the other side of the room without turning his head, he knew his oldest brother was sitting on top of his own bed, medidating. Or pretending to be meditating, Raph wasn't sure half the time. This was how they'd spent most of the week. In silence. Ignoring him. Only every now and then did his brothers speak up, and then only to each other, like he wasn't even there.

He'd been wishing to share a room with any of his brothers but Mikey from the moment they got split up, but now that that moment had finally come, he found absolutely no enjoyment in it. He was still being ignored by his older brothers, just more noticeably now.

He let out a soft growl of frustration and heard Leo shift his book. He was probably looking at him. Raph didn't care. It wasn't like he was going to say anything anyway. He heard Leo lift his book again. See.

"Did you get to the part where they cross the ocean yet, Leo?" Mashimi asked suddenly, and Raph squeezed his eyes shut. They were doing it again, pretending he wasn't there.

"Yeah, I just got there," Leo answered, but didn't expand on it.

Mashimi didn't respond and Raph opened his eyes again, balling his hands into fists beneath his head. Today was their last day of punishment, he just had to get through this day and it would be over. Or at least be able to leave the room and talk to Mikey and Donnie. True, Mikey had come over every day in an attempt to get them to talk to him, but like Leo and Shimi, he had ignored him. Leo and Shimi were still angry at finding out he and Mikey had been sitting on the roof the entire time and were now refusing to talk to either of them.

Raph on the other hand was just jealous of Mikey. Not only had he not been punished because mom and dad really did think that Raph had come up with it all by himself, but he'd also gotten Don as a roommate instead of these two jerks. Raph was sure he had already forgiven Mikey, and that they were having fun in their room while Don was still grounded. He'd heard them laughing earlier today.

Raph would have preferred any other combination their parents could have come up with, any, except this one. But even so, he was willing to talk to Mikey again after his punishment was over. Maybe they'd let him in on whatever fun they were having. Let Leo and Shimi bore each other by themselves, he wasn't sticking around any longer than he had to.

"It really isn't fair that Raph got grounded for just as long as us," Mashimi said conversationally all of a sudden, startling Raph for a moment by breaking the silence. Groaning he squeezed his eyes shut once more and balled his fists. Here they went again. At least now he knew his brother was definitely not meditating for real, just looking like he was.

"Since it was all his fault he should have been grounded for at least twice as long," Mashimi finished.

Something snapped in Raph and he couldn't stay quiet anymore. He had kept quiet for an entire week now, an entire week of swallowing this talk. He pushed himself up and twisted to glare Mashimi, "Yeah well, what kind of punishment would that be, huh? The real punishment is bein' stuck in the same room as you two!"

"Be quiet, Raph. You deserved to be punished for what you did," Leo told him calmly from over the edge of his book. Raph glared back at him, but before he could bite back a reply Mashimi got up from his own bed and marched over to him. Surprised Raph leaned back as the other loomed over him, one hand pointing accusingly at his chest.

"And more importantly, you deserved to be punished for getting us all into trouble! You dragged Mikey into danger with you, Raph! How could you do such a thing?! And you made Leo, Don an' me believe you might be in trouble! We actually cared enough to come after you! To help you! We broke all the rules for you! But what do we get in return? Punishment! For trying to help you! Thanks, Raph, really. I appreciate it."

Raph couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt over this. While he had lied when he had said that it had all been his idea, it was true that his brothers had risked themselves thinking they were saving Mikey and him. That didn't stop him from glaring back at his older brother however.

"Who asked ya to come after us, huh? Should have taken a clue when we left without ya!"

"Yeah, we should have! We even tried to convince dad and uncle Splinter to help us find you when they found us! We didn't want to believe them when they said you were at home!"

Raph looked at Leo, the one who had spoken now, and wondered at the anger in his voice. Had they really been that worried? Well they shouldn't have been…!

"We don't need savin', Leo, we can take care of ourselves just fine!"

"Yeah, you sure proved that!" Mashimi responded angrily, "Keeping secrets, sneaking around, going outside without permission!"

"Oh, that's rich, Shimi, you talkin' about secrets!" Raph growled, and looked between Leo and him, seeing that they knew what he was talking about. None of them had forgotten about that embarrassing evening years ago when Splinter had told Raphael about the trouble they had gotten into themselves while trying to learn martial arts by themselves.

"I'm sick an' tired of you always blamin' me for stuff! You an' Leo always acting like you're so much better than me! And you even got Donnie acting the same way now!" Raph glared at Mashimi, then turned around and let himself fall back, his shell sinking into the self adjusting mattress, and glared at the ceiling once more, "I meant it. Mikey an' me did that just to get away from ya."

"Next time, leave a note to let us know not to come after you," Mashimi replied icily, and marched back to his own bed.

Raph waited a few minutes, but nobody spoke again. He sighed angrily. Back to silence they were. If only they had left him with Mikey, at least then being grounded wouldn't have been so painful. In fact, he wouldn't mind if Mikey walked into the room right now, he'd even talk to him!

The bedroom door opened and Raph nearly yelped, startled. Quickly he and Mashimi sat up, and Leo put his book down on his lap. Through the door came not Mikey, but their mother. Looking at her Raph wondered if time had gone by faster than he had thought and it was already dinner time. She held no tray with food however and behind her came Donatello and Michelangelo, the latter looking more cheerful then he had all week, until he saw the looks on his brothers' faces that is, then he quickly sobered up.

Tang Shen motioned for the two boys to enter then closed the door behind them. She moved to lead them over to Raph's bed, and he quickly made room for her to sit down. She patted the bed next to her while looking at Mikey, and he quickly sat down there, pulling up a knee and hugging it as he watched Mashimi and Leo slowly approach them.

"Please sit down, my sons," their mother softly said and indicated the carpet in front of Raph's bed. Don sat down cross legged across from Mikey, while Mashimi and Leonardo kneeled down opposite their mother and Raph, their backs stiff, wondering what was going on. Raph wondered as well and looked up at his mother next to him while shifting forwards to let his legs dangle off of the bed.

"My sons…" she started then faltered as she seemed to search for words. She took a calming breath then and continued, "My sons, we had hoped that limiting your presence and companionship to only yourself and your brothers for a week would help you see your wrongs, but I can tell that we were wrong."

"No, mother, you were right. We know what we did wrong," Leonardo spoke up, his voice dutiful, "Mikey and Raph were wrong for going outside by themselves without letting anyone know, and we made the exact same mistake."

"Except we did it to help them," Mashimi added in a mutter. Raphael glared at him.

Their mother half raised a hand to prevent any more interruptions, her face sad.

"No, Leonardo, that is not what I meant. Yes, you all did wrong by going outside like you did, endangering yourselves like that…" she sadly shook her head, and Raph balled his fists as he was once more overcome with guilt. "But that is not what I meant when I said we were wrong to confine you to your rooms."

They all looked at her curiously now. Would they receive even more punishment for something else then? Raph just hoped this couldn't be blamed on him because he was already feeling sorry he had protected Mikey the first time by taking full blame.

Tang Shen sighed again before continuing, "What troubled us the most, my sons, was not the fact that you endangered yourselves by going outside," she looked down at Raph then, "But that you did this without telling your brothers."

Raph closed his eyes and felt like groaning, it was going to be blamed on him! Suddenly he felt his mother's hand on his shoulder and he opened his eyes again to look up at her, his gaze in between defiance and defeat. If she was going to blame this whole situation on him, then fine, but he wasn't going to apologize!

"Raphael, why didn't you include your brothers?"

Raph looked away from her so he wouldn't have to face anyone while defending himself once more, feeling his shoulders sag. He was getting tired of this. But just as he opened his mouth, he was surprised by Donatello speaking up.

"It was our fault, mom, not Raph's."

Raph turned to look at Don, his mouth still open, and his eyes wide and startled. Don was shaking his head then leaned forwards to look at Leonardo and Mashimi sitting next to him, "It was our fault, guys, not Raph's. And not Mikey's either," he added while looking back up at his new roommate. Raph noticed there was a sort of emphasis in his voice and narrowed his eyes at his brother in purple.

"What do you mean, Donatello?" their mother asked with a note of surprise in her voice, but her face looked hopeful now.

"Yeah, whaddaya talking about, Donnie?" Mashimi added, frowning, "We didn't do anything."

"Yeah, that's exactly what we did wrong, Shimi," Don said as he looked back at his older brother sitting next to him again, "We were sort of ignoring Raph and Mikey. The three of us almost never involve Raph or Mikey when we do things, not unless they come to us first. I think that's why they didn't feel like they had to tell us about…ehm, about going outside."

Raph stared hard at Donatello. He knew his genius brother hadn't come to this conclusion by himself, that Mikey must have told him something, maybe even everything, but even so he felt impressed that Don had spoken up. He then glanced at Shimi and Leo and saw them frown at Don. Leo was the first to look away and up at first Mikey, then Raph.

"I guess…maybe, yeah. We do sort of like to do other things than you."

"Not everything, Leo," Mikey offered, "There's lots of things we all like doing together. Like eating cake, and watching martial arts movies!"

Mashimi chuckled at this, but didn't deny it. He threw Raph a look that for the first time this week didn't look resentful.

"We're really sorry we didn't say anything to you guys, but it just seemed like you didn't want us around anymore anyway," Mikey continued, smiling hopefully with large pleading eyes at Shimi and Leo. Raph looked down, then slowly nodded, the movement making his brothers look at him instead. He didn't return their look however, half regretting already he had just agreed with Mikey.

"I guess I'm sorry too," Mashimi said with a sigh. Raph glanced up just in time to see Leonardo nod.

"Yeah, as brothers we shouldn't keep secrets from each other," Leo said and glanced at Raph. To his surprise he saw a corner of Leo's mouth twitch up at the word 'secrets'. Oh yeah, secrets could be embarrassing alright. Raph gave Leo a small smile back. Then he felt his mother's arm curling around his shell and looked up just in time to receive a kiss on his forehead.

"This is what I had been hoping for," she said, smiling before turning to Mikey on her other side, and bending down to give him a kiss as well while Raph was rubbing his forehead with an embarrassed grin. Mikey however quickly leaned away, surprising them all with the serious look on his face.

"There's one more thing, mom, you and dad really need to know this." He was looking at Raph now, "It wasn't Raph's idea to go outside, it was mine. And going up to the roof was my idea as well, it all was. It wasn't Raph's fault at all, he was just protecting me."

Raph winced when he felt his mother's gaze come back to him, and he looked up at her.

"Is that true, Raphael?"

He gave a half nod without taking his eyes away from her face.

"Why did you lie to us then?"

Raph shrugged and looked down at his feet, not really completely sure himself. He glanced up to look at Mikey. His younger brother was looking back at him with a proud smile. Raph sighed and looked up at his mother again, "I dunno. I guess I just didn't want Mikey to be blamed. It may have been his idea, but he only came up with it because he knew it's what I wanted," he told her gruffly. "That sort of makes it my fault as well. Because I let him. And because…" he glanced at Mikey before clearing his throat and looking away again, "Because I kinda liked havin' a secret with just Mikey I guess. He's fun to hang with." The last he said while glaring at his other three brothers.

Suddenly he was surprised by another kiss on top of his head. Startled he looked up at his mother and saw tears in her eyes. What did he do? But before he could recover Mikey jumped down from the bed and ran to him, flinging his arms around his neck in a hug, "I love you too, Raph!"

Raph heard someone chuckle but Mikey blocked his view so he couldn't see who it was. Even so, he couldn't bring himself to push his brother away so he had no choice but to return the hug.

"I'm glad you boys told me all this," their mother finally spoke up and Mikey let go of Raph to smile up at her. "This is what your father and I had hoped you boys would accomplish on your own. We we're just wrong to separate you while doing so."

She got up and his brothers followed her example. Tang Shen then kneeled down and gathered them all to her chest for one big hug. This resulted in giggles all around, but none of them protested. It was good to have the tension finally gone again. Raph looked at Mashimi and Leo, he knew that while they had sort of forgiven him this time, it still wouldn't be easy to get along without a fight or two now and then.

"Now then, your punishment is over," their mother announced as she straightened up again and smiled at their cheers, "But Michelangelo, you and I need to talk. It was not nice to let your brother take the blame for something you did, even if it was very noble of him to do so."

Raph watched the smile disappear from Mikey's face, but he knew their mother wouldn't be too hard on him anyway, their parents never were. Even so, he shot Mikey an encouraging smile as his brother was led from the room by Tang Shen.

This left him with the other three and he realized they were all looking at him. Raph had no idea what to say, and he didn't want to screw this up so quickly again by saying the wrong thing.

"So…anyone wanna watch a movie?" Don finally asked, breaking the silence.

Raph grinned, so did Leo and Shimi. "Yeah, that sounds good, I missed tv."

"Yeah, me too," Mashimi agreed and shot Raph a grin.

It was enough for now, Raph followed his three brothers downstairs. He felt a certain tension in his shoulders he hadn't even known was there slowly fade away. Now to keep the peace for as long as possible. Raph shook his head amused, knowing it would most likely be a matter of hours before some argument broke out again. But that was alright. Because right now, they were alright. Life was alright.

A/N: Aw, I totally skipped their sewer adventure, bad me! :p :p But it's TMNT so those sewers will be back eventually, and sooner than these kids would like. And thank you for the reviews so far, I lurve getting them :D