AN: Okay, so for some reason, yesterday's notifications didn't get sent out until today…hopefully these get sent out today, otherwise it's a vicious cycle! Anyways, here is today's chapter! Oh, and the underlined portions are flashbacks…

Deception

Allison would have been pacing back and forth Remy's living room, but it had been what felt like months without cuddling and kissing and touching and hugging…that fight from two weeks before had Allison and Remy even more touchy feely than they had ever been…it was a doozy and they were now making up for it.

She was straddling Remy's lap and fidgeting with her hands, "I just don't see why she didn't ask me! And I don't think what House or Chase said were real issues…" She complained.

"Hold on…House or Chase? You're really listening to Chase?"

"NO! I'm disagreeing with Chase!" Allison couldn't help the little smile that came when Remy's obvious jealousy seeped through.

"What did he say?" Remy asked.

Allison looked up, "Well…"

Cameron and Chase were sitting in the small lab, overlooking the procedure, "Cuddy tapped Foreman to run the department. I didn't even get asked."

"Neither did I."

Cameron gave him an incredulous look, "You were suspended."

Chase barely smirked his amusement, "I was kidding."

Cameron huffed, "It's the irony of women in charge, they don't like other women in charge." When Chase gave her a look, she questioned him, "What, you think it's something else?"

Chase was actually quite frank with Cameron a lot of the time, "You sabotaged yourself." He started, "You went on a date with House, you took a patient's illegal drugs. Putting you in charge of this department is like a law suit waiting to happen."

Cameron was still leaning towards incredulous as she said, "Yeah, they're really worried that I'm going to create a hostile work environment."

Chase considered this, "Maybe that's the problem. Being in charge means having to say no to House. Would you hire you for that?"

Of fuck you! You would never say no to House either! Cameron thought as she turned back to the procedure.

"Mhmm, I'll bet you thought that…" Remy said with a twinkle in her eyes.

"I will not give in to your taunting…that's what you want me to do." Allison held her chin up high…all Remy wanted to do was attached herself to her neck.

But she knew better when Cameron was venting about work, "Fine, fine, fine… So then what did House tell you?"

Cameron and House were walking out of the hospital, "Why do you think Cuddy picked Foreman over me? Have I done something wrong or if there's something I needed to improve on—"

"Would you shut up if I told you she wanted someone black?" House interrupted her.

Cameron was not distracted. She powered on, "How would you describe my leadership skills?"

House was frank with Cameron all the time…not just some of it, "Nonexistent. Otherwise excellent."

Cameron gave her version of a glare, "There's more to being a leader than being a jerk!"

"The world will never know." House told her sarcastically.

"Then her made me ride his bike with him because I had the idea of Munchausen's…Which it was the whole time!" Allison crossed her arms and gave her angry, pouty face that Remy adored, "He just thought she was interesting and was clouded by that…he didn't see it for what it was, and he didn't even say anything after we sent her on her way!" She pouted.

"Oh Honey…do you just want to be appreciated?" Remy sounded as if she were talking to a child, then her voice became very seductive, "I'll appreciate—Did you say you got on House's bike?" Her voice completely fell out of seduction.

Allison grinned and blushed a little, "He said it'd be faster…and it was." She said sheepishly, "It was really fun…"

Remy's nostrils were flaring, "You aren't allowed to ride with him again."

"Why? Because it's dangerous?" Allison gave her a look.

"NO!" Remy almost spat the word out, "Because you're the epitome of a double standard! You won't let me get one, but you'll ride one with anybody all willy nilly like! No fair!"

Allison gave her a look like she was going to argue, then as she thought about today and riding with House, she cocked her head and her look softened, "Maybe I needed to ride the back of one to see the fun of it…"

That was not what Remy was expected, "Are you saying you're mind has changed on the matter?"

"I'm saying, we can talk about it, but I'll still be uber nervous all the time…" Allison said still in thought.

Remy grinned and opened her mouth to respond, but Allison was back to ranting, "I just don't see why he ignored what was right in front of him! I mean really!"

Cameron and House were at Anica's place searching for something to prove either theory, "There's even books in the bathroom."

House responded, "Well, either she's very smart or she has a severe fiber deficiency."

Cameron ignored the last part of his statement, "She's got an appointment with her ophthalmologist on Tuesday and an appointment with her gynecologist on Thursday. Multiple appointments with multiple doctors…symptom of Munchausen's."

House gave her one of his classic looks, "Or… just thinking outside the box, here… She has a vagina, and trouble reading. There's three pairs of reading glasses, each with different prescriptions, which would be explained by a tumor pressing on the optic nerve."

Cameron crossed her arms and threw the look right back at him, "Because you're looking for her to have a tumor."

"And you are looking for…. A person with Munchausen's syndrome drinks battery acid; they don't go to an ophthalmologist to get their pupils dilated."

Cameron shrugged, "An ophthalmologist is a doctor. Attention is attention."

"How many hospitals have you contacted? Has one doctor said she's crazy? It's not Munchausen's!"

Cameron gave him her winning grin, "It's not your call."

"Ooooooooooooh! Got him!" Remy said, proud of her baby.

"And he still didn't see it! Normally, he would be waiting on me to figure it out, so we could wait on Foreman and Chase to do so!"

Remy smirked, "So that pissed you off…then what happened."

"House got Foreman to believe him and then Foreman made me go have her sign for the next test…"

"Hi." Anica said as Cameron slammed a bottle of pills on the tray.

Cameron was very unhappy, "This is a consent form to stick a wire into your brain. It's important for hospitals to get these signed for procedures that are completely unnecessary."

Anica gave her a look, "Then why are you doing it?"

Cameron decided to tell her that she didn't believe her for a second, "Because you're mentally ill. You injected yourself with ACTH to induce Cushing's to get attention from doctors, and so far it's worked."

Anica swallowed hard, "I'd like to see another doctor."

"I'm not giving you what you want?" Cameron asked sarcastically.

"I don't want a bitch."

Cameron was actually a little proud that she had just been called a bitch, "Just sign the forms, okay? And I'll get out of here. Hopefully for you, whatever you injected yourself with won't wear off before you get the fun of a caring and concerned doctor cutting into your head."

~0~

Foreman looked at Cameron, "Patient being prepped for the Venus sampling?"

"Yeah. Mentally ill patient is right on track for a pointless procedure." She said with literally all the sarcasm in the world.

Foreman nodded his head with her sarcasm, "Yeah, we get your objection." The phone rang. Chase picked it up and gave it to him, "Foreman. Are you sure? That doesn't make any sense. Check it again." He hung up, "We got to delay the Venus sample."

Cameron smirked, "Why, her urine turning orange?"

"How would you know that?"

Cameron was now not even bothering hiding her glee, "Because that's what Rifampin does."

Chase gave her a confused look, "She's not on antibiotics."

"But if a Munchausen's patient thinks she's about to get busted, she sees pills labeled 'Dangerous: Might cause seizures,' she might grab a couple. And if that label were accidentally on a bottle of antibiotics and if that bottle was accidentally left in her room—"

Foreman interrupted her, "You set her up?"

"Might have." Cameron nodded, "It's Munchausen's. All this she did to herself."

"So you won out in the end." Remy gave her lady a smirk.

"Not yet…first I had to get bitched out. Before anyone would believe me…And even then it took until House decided to FINALLY agree that, yes, it was Munchausen's."

Anica was erratic, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about! I had a seizure, I'm sick, I need your help!"

Cameron gave her as sympathetic a look as she could muster…which being Cameron was rather easy, "Not from this department. The half-life of Rifampin is three hours, after that you'll get your psych referral, and your discharge papers."

Anica moved to defensive, total bitch mode fast, "You know, just because you stick your fingers down your throat doesn't mean the rest of us are screwed up."

Cameron tried not to look surprised or affected by her comment, "I guess when cooperation fails you move on to hostility."

"I didn't do this to myself."

With that, Cameron left.

Allison was quiet for a minute or two, "Do you think I need to gain some weight?" She looked up at Remy.

Remy gave her a surprised look, "What of course not, Honey…"

"Are you sure? She's not the only one that makes fun of my weight…House has said a couple things too."

"Like what?" Remy sat up straight. She wanted to walk up to him and punch him then walk away…he'd never know it was her…that thought made her a little bit happy.

"Like I need to eat a sandwich." She looked at her. "Baby, don't laugh! I'm being serious…do you think I need to gain some weight?"

Remy looked her over. She lifted Allison's shirt and looked at the flat and taut stomach. She felt Allison's strong thighs and intertwined their hands together, "I think that you are perfect the way you are. I think that if you want to gain some weight, then you can… I think that if women across the country heard this conversation, they would murder you…" This got the laugh from Allisonon she wanted. Then she turned back to a serious tone, "Honey, I really don't think you need to diet like you think that you do…I mean really with the vitamin and vegetable shake for breakfast…unless I get you to cook with me and we have real breakfast, and then the freakin' oatmeal and a kale shake for lunch—Baby, you don't need that shit…"

Allison considered her words, "I guess you're right…"

"You guess?" Remy squeezed her sides to get her attention. They shared a look, "So…real breakfast and real lunch along with a usually awesome dinner?...assuming we get to eat together?" Allison nodded, "Good…Now…How did House have his usual epiphany?"

"I'm not quite sure…All I know is that he convinced us finally that it was his favored disease…then he came in and said it was mine and that we needed to stop the radiation…then he cut into her bruises and said, 'I love the smell of puss in the morning…it smells like puss.' Then he said it was grapey and that we should all take a whiff…" Allison was making her 'yuck' face.

"That is disgusting." Remy said.

Allison nodded then all of the sudden she was latched onto Remy's neck. "I love you." She said.

"I love you too." Remy grinned at her.

"I love that you put up with me and my stories." Allison pulled a little so that she could look in her eyes.

Remy grinned, "Well…I love listening to your rants…and I love your cute little ranty faces you make."

Allison grinned and sobered, then whispered, "I missed you." In reference to a couple weeks before.

"I missed you too, Baby." Remy nodded and leaned up to kiss her, "No more fighting." Allison raised her brows and gave her an expectant look. Remy sighed and nodded, "Alright, no more fighting resulting in leaving for longer than a day at most."

"That sounds like a possibility. That first part…Honey do we fight too much?" she asked.

"No Baby, we're Ally and Noah…we tell each other when we're being arrogant daughters of bitches and pains in the asses…which we both are 99% of the time." She grinned at Cameron.

Cameron gasped, "You watched that movie while you were in your Remy cave, away from me!" Allison accused.

"Mmm, thrice!" Remy nodded.

Allison gave her a sad face, "I wanna watch…"

Remy grinned, "It's still in my bedroom DVD player…"

Allison clapped and got up, then pulled Remy up, "Mmm, Baby!" Allison said as she walked them to the bedroom, "You are so getting laid tonight!"

AN: So…Cameron's diet…really Jen Morrison's diet…at least that's what Michigan Ave Magazine said… Anyways…let me know what you think..