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The New Nerima Wrecking Crew Chapter 18 What have I gotten myself into?
Nerima
Ebisu, still a lizard, was looking for some hot water. He scruried around the school in his search. He went through a door when someone opened it and then felt himself being picked up.
" Ah another lizard." Said his captor. " This particular one is a red eyed burrower. It will burrow underground in order to escape predators, it's too cowardly to fight.OW!" Ebisu was dropped to the ground.
" Cool! Not only is the teacher wrong for once, he's gets bitten by a lizard!" Shouted one of the students.
" Vile Beast!" The teacher began trying to stomp on poor Ebisu. He serpentined around the classroom with the teacher stomping after him, making an amusing sight for the students. He felt himself being picked up again but this time he wasn't held like a specimen but petted.
" You shouldn't be so cruel to other animals!" Nana berated her teacher while stroking Ebisu.
" I could have gotten rabies from the pest!"
" Lizards don't have rabies." Nana pointed out. The teacher was fumming. " However some do have a poison that kills in a matter of minutes." Nana continued. "You might want to ..." Before she finished the teacher was out the door and driving away.
" FREE HOUR!" The rest of the students cheered. Nana smiled down at Ebisu.
" I'm going to call you L-chan." He whispered. She continued petting Ebisu untill the bell rang for lunch.
Cafeteria
" No, I forgot my lunch." Mei complained aloud.
" I, Daichi Kuno, Red Flame of Furinkan High, shall share my lunch with thee, fair maiden." Daichi declared and shoved his lunch into Mei's hands. " Now that I hath shared my lunch with thee mayhaps thy shall share dinner with me?" Mei glared and slammed her Bon Bori into his manhood with an upward swing and sent him soaring Then she jumped ahead of him as he was flying through the air and bounded her bon bori on his head. He landed in a crater on the Cafeteria floor, while Mei landed gracefully.
" Anti-pervert combo."
" Nice hit nee-chan."
" Thanks nee-chan. I'll have to run home to get my lunch."
" Why not eat the cafeteria food?" Homura asked. Mei took one look at the strangly shaped odorus slumps the Cafeteria lady called Tempura and shuddered.
" I'll pass." She jumped through the ceiling and was gone. A trash can inched it's way over to Homura's seat. Once it was an a few feet away, a brunette leapt out, pencil and notepad in hand. He shoved his pesudo microphone(ie pencil) in Homura's face.
" How can you eat that stuff without getting sick?" He questioned, azure eyes set firmly on Homura.
" Saotome Iron Stomach technique, developed to survive my oka's letal cooking. Compared to dinner at my house, this stuff is nothing." Homura replied.
" Our readers may find that hard to believe, do tell more." He continued.
" Two weeks ago, her kakuni exploded and we had to rebulit the kitchen from scrach. Last week she made tempura and it made us physically ill for a whole day. Three days ago, her curry was so hot it melted the cooking pot, stove, and the floor . Last night's takoyaki tried to eat us." The boy shook his head.
" That seems, pardon the pun, hard to swallow."
" Don't believe me? Ask Nana." Homura recomended. The boy turned to the younger Saotome and she nodded vigorously.
" Very well then, thank you for your time." He bowed, dived back into his trashcan and waddled away. Akemi was so surprised she stopped eating.
" Ak-chan, don't tell me you're still not used to weridness." Homura teased, Akemi started laughing.
" He looks so silly waddling in that thing!"
" That was Hito Kurenai, he runs the school newspaper." Nana informed.
CRASH!
Shampoo punched through the wall and ran over to her daughter and handed her a bento box.
"Mei, You forgot your lunch."
" Oka-san I'm Ming, Mei already left." Shampoo sweatdropped.
" Sorry." She left the way she came.
O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Ichiro galloped through the streets of Nerima, looking for his brother. He saw steam comming out of a window and jumped through it. He landed in bath tube, when a nude girl pulled back the curtains. The lost son took one look at her and passed out from blood loss. The girl moved to see if he was alright when the door burst open and a clothed boy stormed in.
" I knew it! You ARE cheating on me!" He accused.
" Saburo wait! It's not what you think! I've never met him before!" The girl protested, the boy's eyes became slits.
" Then why is he nude in your bathtub?"
" He must have jumped through the window!"
" Why would he do that?"
" I don't know!"
By now Ichiro had woken up.
" Sorry about this. I'll leave."
" You can take your sorry and shove it!" The boy ran forward with a fist cocked for a punch. Ichiro grabbed the nearest weapon, a scrub brush and pointed at the boy to alter the gravity around him and stop his charge. Then he jumped back out the window, away from the blood hungry boyfriend. He ran around a corner, and into a big clock.
" ow." Ichiro looked around and saw he was no longer in Nerima. " Where am I?"
SPLASH!
A car drove by and splashed a puddle on Ichiro.
" My word, what was a goat doing in London?" The driver wondered.
Nerima
" Hey Nana whatcha got there?" One of Nana's friends asked.
" This is L-chan, I saved him from Yahisopo-sensei."
" He's so cute! Can I hold him?"
" I wanna hold him!" Ebisu hissed at them.
' I have to get away find and Ichiro.' Nana put him down on the taple to eat her lunch and he ran along the table's edge. Narrowing dodging the many hands reaching for him.
" Homura Saotome! Date with me!" Daichi was promptly uppercutted and landed on the table Ebisu was running along. The force of the impact flipped the table over and Ebisu landed in someone's hotwater thremos.
" AAHH!" He jumped out and landed with two feet on the ground. It was then he realized he was completely nude. This caused two things to happen
-The Shy girls passed out
-The more agressive/lonely ones rushed him
" SHIT! GRAVITY RELEASE!" He shot like a rocket through the school roof. Once he was clear he gave a sigh of relief. 'That was close.' Then looked to where he was going to land and groaned.
'Typical.'
He landed in someone's backyard pool.
" OTU-CHAN! THERE'S A LIZARD IN THE POOL!" Shouted a little boy.
" Don't worry I'll get it." The man scopped the lizard with a net but Ebisu was able to alter just enough gravity in his cursed form to trip the man and he fell, sending Ebisu flying into the hottup.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
A figure stumbled in the chilling darkness, his feet slipping from the blood on the ground. His blood.
'Where are they?...' He heard a creak to his left and fired a spirit bullet. ' There...? Another bullet ...There...?... THERE?' Another bullet. They used to be all over, he couldn't move without touching flesh. But now there was nothing at all. Just a black void streching out into infinity.
' I have to find them, I have to kill them.' His ears twitched, straining for the smallest sound, but he heard nothing.
' Where are they? Where.are. they.' He continued moving slowly, constantly turning to avoid being caught off guard.
"WHERE ARE YOU?" He shouted. His reply was strike to his back and knocked him off his feet. Reflexively he turned around and fired off a bullet. His reward was the crashing of rocks.
"Missed me." A voice taunted from the darkness. " How many more bullets do you have left, Keisou?" Keisou rushed to the source of the noise, but the voice never got any closer. He couldn't tell if it was because they were moving, or they were standing still and he just hadn't reached them. Such was the effect of the darkness. It was impossible to tell if someone was far away, or right in front of you until their fist was slamming into your gut.
" Are you afraid Keisou?"
" SHUT UP!"
"Afraid of lossing control?"
" I SAID SHUT UP!"
" Afraid of never being strong enough?" He ran to the source of the voice, then it changed directions and seemed to be comming from somewhere else.
" But you're biggest fear is being used, isn't it? Keisou-chan." The sound of running water filled his ears and his heart started to beat faster. " I hear you have a great figure as a girl." The noise surrounded him, he could hear the water all around him. But he couldn't see it. It could be right around his feet, just waiting to make him a her.
" It's been so long since I had a virgin to play with." Footsteps were heard splashing through the water.
" STAY AWAY!" Keisou fired a shot gun from both hands and spun around, sending burts of reiki in all directions. Mocking laughter answered the attack.
" You fear me. You fear what I can do to you. You fear how helpless you are. You're begining to panick."
Elsewhere in Nerima
'I need to find Ichiro, maybe he's still at the school' Ebisu skywalked(2) to Furinkan high and spotted Mei.' I've heard Ichiro talk about her, maybe she can help.' He landed behind her and called out.
" Hey! Purple haried girl!"
" What is it? I'm busy."
"Do you mind giving me some help?" The next thing he knew he was lying in a dent in the wall of a building. " I was only asking for help!"
" I know what asking for help means! That's the oldest pick up line in the book!" Mei retorted angerily.
" I'm not trying to hit on you, I really do need your help."
" That won't work! Males too too proud to ask for help!" She charged at him, bon bori swinging. He fliped over her, placed his palm above her to intensived the gravity directly over her to make her collasp on her stomach, then he bodyslammed her.
" Have you seen a fanged boy named Ichiro lately? Tell me and I'll get off."
" Not since this morning." Ebisu got off Mei.
" Thanks." He smiled appericatviely and Mei felt her face heating up. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him right on the lips.
" Wo ai ni!" She shouted slipping into chinese due to her excitement. Ebisu was so shocked he fainted. " Airen sleepy?"
Furinkan High Courtyard
School ended and the students ran out.
" Mei never came back." Ming lamented. Akemi put a hand on her friend's shoulder.
" I'm sure she's fine, I have trouble fighting your sister and I'm half demon."
" Thanks, Akemi-chan."
" It must have been something important. The Old Ghoul is always going on about how important training the mind is." Homura mussed. " In fact the only thing more important is honor...uhoh."
" You thinking what I'm thinking?" Ming asked. Homura nodded, Akemi looked confused.
" Hey! Let me in!"
" Mei must have been defeated by Outsider." Ming explained. " That's the most dishonorable thing that can happen to amazons."
" If the outsider is female, the only way to regain their honor is for the amazon to hunt them down and kill them. If they're male, she must marry him." Homura continued.
" If the outsider was female, Mei could be anywhere. If the outsider is male, Mei would take him to Elder Colgone." The three girls roof hopped to the Neko Hanten leaving Nana behind.
" Onee-chan always leaves me behind, just because I can't roof hop."
" I can help you with that." Said a voice behind Nana, she turned.
" Hebun?"
Neko Hanten
The girls rushed in.
" What's the rush?" Colgone asked.
" Is nee-chan here?" Ming asked.
" Yes she cam here eariler with her new husband."
" That means she was defeated right?" Akemi asked. Colgone nodded.
" She and her husband are upstairs." Upstairs the girls found Mei sitting on her bed with a sleeping Ebisu's head on her lab.
" What's Ebisu doing here?" Homura asked.
" Ebisu defeated me in combat He is my woda airen now." Mei explained.
" Translation?" Akemi asked.
" He's her beloved husband now." Homura replied. Ebisu stirred and woke up.
Downstairs
"Where the hell am I?" a voice demanded
" You're at the Neko Hanten." Colgone pogoed out to the Lost Boy and brought him inside.
" You're friend defeated my great-great granddaughter, and is now her husband."
" WHAT?"the shout from upstairs echoed through out the café. Colgone cackled.
" It seems he's been informed of the situation." She pogoed outside, jumped up to the roof and bashed Ebisu with her staff as he tried to escape. Sending back in the loving arms of Mei, who hugged him till he couldn't breathe.
" Onii-chan, what mess have you gotten yourself into now?"
" Ichiro?"
" Why did you defeat her?"
" I didn't know about those stupid amazon laws!" Colgone whacked him with her staff.
" You may not agree with our traditions but you must obey them."
" Elder Cologne, Ebisu is my temple brother. I need him to get home, and I was hoping he could meet my parents." The Amazon matriach looked at Ebisu through narrowed eyes.
" Will he try to escape?"
" I give you my word he won't."
" Very well."
Nerima Sumo Pig embassy that night
" Why'd you have to promise to that old hag I wouldn't escape?" Ebisu demanded.
" Because honor is the most important thing to an amazon, and the only way for Mei to get hers back is to marry you." Ichiro explained.
" I'm not marrying her." Ebisu crossed his arms.
" Then she will be fobidden from going to her village in China, her family will disown her and she will spend her life in shame. What would Hoshi-sensei think if he knew you did this to someone?"
" HOSHI-SENSEI! Ebisu started crying into his sleeve. " I miss you! Without your guidance I almost comitted a most dishonorable act!" Ichiro sweatdropped.
Ebisu removed his eyes from his sleeve and held his head high, tears still streaming down his cheeks
" But I will continue to try harder and become the kind of martial artist you would be proud of!" Ichiro's sweatdrop got bigger. " Very well, I shall marry her."
" Good, just stop. People are starring." Ichiro pulled his habit hood over his face. He was then glomped by Akari.
" I was so worried about you." She sobbed. " I heard your voice and at first I couldn't belive it!"
" Oka-san I'm ok. I made it to school fine."
Ebisu cleared his throat.
" This is Ebisu, the older brother I never had."
" The school said you took our son somewhere." Ryouga crossed his arms and gave Ebisu a hard look.
" He followed me to a temple in China. Where my Sensei taught him our style of Martial Arts." Ebisu explained. " Heavy Fist Style." He explained about his style of fighting and all that happened to them.
" Wonderful! Now you can beat Homura! That'll show Ranma! OW!" Akari stopped her husband's rant by grabbing his ear.
" Dear..."
" It's not fair or right to pass on my personal grudges to my children."
" Good."
AN2- The Heavy Fist style allows the user to defy gravity and walked on thin air. How high depends on the power of the user.