Chapter 13: Your Life, My Purpose

The days rolled by quickly as Miho adjusted to her life in Konoha. She did not attend the hospital but instead spent her time with Kakashi and his team, watching them as they trained for the Chuunin exams. She offered no advice and gave no help; the Chuunin exams' structure had changed much since she'd become a Chuunin, and she felt no inclination to give any of them a good measure of her strength. She could tell that Kakashi was cautious of this; more than once had he suggested a sparring match of some kind, and after declining multiple times, Miho finally gave in and lost to him brilliantly. She had put up a decent fight and lost only after prolonged attacks. The result seemed to satisfy Kakashi, for he did not ask for any more displays of her power.

Like always, she took the backseat.

As time goes by, I vaguely start recalling what it means to be at peace. The daily routine of waking up, looking around me and realizing: this is home. This is what it's supposed to feel like. Spending time with Kakashi makes me remember what I used to be like before anything ever happened, and sometimes, I must admit, I remember the things about him that so attracted me when I was younger.

And then there is Sasuke as well. He is not as chipper as he used to be—if anything, he is deadened and sullen. Regardless, there is a sense of comfort around him as well; he seems to find it still a bit difficult to talk to me, to accept that I am alive…but it is not terribly important. I will not be here in Konoha long enough for us to develop a sincere relationship anyway.

I should say the same for Kakashi. I do not want him spending too much time with me. I am not here to be at home, or to be at peace.

I am here to keep fate turning.

"Were you seriously going all out against Kakashi, that one time?" said Sasuke over his noodles.

"What makes you think I didn't?" said Miho, pouring them both tea. "I've never been able to beat Kakashi, you know. The Sharingan lends advantages over people that hard work could never dream of doing. It doesn't help that Kakashi's a genius."

"So are you," said Sasuke flatly.

Miho chuckled. "Are you sure you're talking to the right person? I'm a doctor, Sasuke. If you want to call that genius, well, I'm flattered."

"…You can beat me," he muttered.

"You're thirteen," she said exasperatedly. "If I couldn't beat a thirteen year old, I'd be a laughing stock."

"…Do you think you could beat Itachi?"

"Sasuke," said Miho sharply.

"I'm just asking," he said angrily.

"You know I hate talking about this with you."

"Why? You're the only person I can talk to about it—"

"No, I can't beat him. I'll leave him for you—is that what you want me to say?"

"I didn't mean that—"

"Drop it, Sasuke."

"Miho—"

"Drop it."

I'm starting to forget. I'm starting to want to stay, to feel at home, to feel safe. When I put on the Konoha headband in the morning, it's almost second nature even though I haven't worn one in five years. When I look in the mirror, I see a kunoichi who lives for her village, whose life and stability rely on her village.

I'm starting to want to forget. Forget everything that's happened for the last five years, and what happened that night too. I want to just remain here, submerged in ignorance, not deluged by this anger and hatred and lack of understanding.

"It's been a while, Miho."

Miho snapped her eyes open. The room was completely dark, save for the pale stream of moonlight that fluttered in with the slightly parted curtains and the now-open window. She sat up slowly, already aware of the two chakras in the room.

"Orochimaru," she greeted, eyes narrowing.

"Choosing to ignore Kabuto here?" he sneered, his thin, pasty face hardly visible in the room.

Kabuto's glasses glimmered, and she could see his smirk—she braced herself; no doubt that Kabuto expected Orochimaru to punish her in some way. She kept her face impassive.

"…No need to undergo those theatrics again," said Miho.

"You seem to enjoy life back in Konoha. Wish to stay?"

"Not in the slightest. I assume you're here to tell me my orders."

"Ah, such an obedient child. I meant to tell you: the Suna official thought you were an absolutely delectable desert flower."

Miho's eyes flickered. "Charming. I can hardly say the same."

Orochimaru chuckled and crossed his arms as he surveyed her. "Pity…you really are quite beautiful. It would've been so interesting to make you a vessel…but no, there was no purpose in living as a Healer with a kekkei genkai that can only save others. I was much better off leeching off of you and your delightful blood…"

"What do you want?"

"Patience, Miho. You should be happy—I've given you a few weeks of freedom, have I not? I'm in a good mood—please don't spoil it with that crass tongue of yours."

"I've done what you wanted—I'm back in the village without suspicions. What else do you want me to do?"

Orochimaru sighed. "We certainly still have quite a few kinks to even out with your personality…perhaps I really should try the cursed seal on you—"

"It wouldn't work," said Kabuto. "She has a rather frail body—it would no doubt kill her."

"I know that," said Orochimaru with a tinge of annoyance. "It was merely an empty threat. Of course I couldn't kill her—her blood is simply too marvelous." He brought up two vials in his hand, the clinking sound of glass surprisingly intimidating to her ears. "We need a little more, Miho."

Orochimaru tossed them over to her, along with a needle. She caught them and examined them.

"These clean?" she said.

"Kabuto sanitized them."

"No doubt he dipped them in some sort of disease first," she muttered, letting the needle rest in her chakra-filled palm and sanitizing it herself.

Wordlessly, she inserted the needle into her wrist and drew out the necessary amount of blood. Miho could feel herself growing more and more tired with every drop that appeared in the vials; trying hard to not let her exhaustion show, she capped them and threw them back at Orochimaru, who caught them lazily.

"Careful there, dear," he said, handing them to Kabuto who tucked them into a satchel. "We wouldn't want it to spill, would we?"

"Is that it?" she said, leaning against her pillows and breathing in harshly. She knew that the thin veil of sweat on her face had not escaped his attention, for Orochimaru's sneer widened at the sight.

"No, of course not," he said sycophantically. "Are you well enough to pay attention, though?"

"Stop beating around the fucking bush," she snarled, finally snapping.

Miho felt her breathing constrict as Orochimaru's killing intent soared; her already limited breaths became virtually non-existent as the sensation of death overwhelmed her, and then it was all gone within another second, and she was left gasping and shuddering while Orochimaru looked onto her with that same sort of fake concern. Kabuto was delighted.

"You should really learn to watch yourself," Orochimaru said. "I was in such a good mood, too…nevertheless, your orders: you will wait here, not attracting any attention, while the Chuunin exams proceed. The Suna and Oto Genin will be arriving shortly; I expect both of them to get through to the third round of the exams. The plan will be executed as I told you before you came; our goal is to kill the Sandaime."

"And is that it?" she rasped.

Orochimaru chuckled. "Of course not, but I don't trust you, and for good reason. You will merely await the orders as they come. Should you deter from our original plans, be forewarned that I'll know."

"Wonderful," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It is, isn't it? That'll be all—watch yourself well, Miho."

There was the whirring of wind, and the curtains in the room billowed eerily; she blinked, and they were gone.

"Are you all right, Miho?" said Kakashi as he sat down next to her bed.

"Mm…" She rolled over stiffly to face him. Her eyes fluttered closed as Kakashi gently brushed her forehead, checking her temperature.

"You're a bit warm. Do we need to go to the hospital?"

"No, I'm fine," she said reassuringly. "This happens once in a while—I just feel a bit tired. It'll go away if I stay in and sleep."

"Are you sure?"

Miho smiled wearily. "Aren't people getting suspicious that you're spending so much time with me?"

"If by people, you mean Naruto, then sure, why not."

"I don't think he's the only one saying that I've somehow seduced Konoha's White Fang."

"And if I said that they perhaps might be right?"

There was a slight pause as Miho registered with a sigh what he said; she'd suspected what Kakashi was doing a few days ago and was hoping she was wrong, but clearly not. She sat up gingerly and faced him.

"When I asked you if you had someone special in mind," she said slowly, "did you mean me?"

"Perhaps," said Kakashi simply.

Miho smiled wryly. "Try as you might, Kakashi—you won't fool me. I only asked you if you had someone special because I was certain you would say no. The fact remains that you are still as emotionally detached as you were five years ago, and the feelings you harbor for me remain nothing more than a caring senpai for his protégé."

Kakashi raised his eyebrows. "And you can be so certain because?"

"Because you're not even offended that I said that you're faking," she said, leaning back on the bedstead. "And because I, at the end of the day, I knew you well, better than most, and I know that everyone you cared for deeper than the norm has already died, and you have no intention of feeling that degree of hurt again."

There was a long silence, and while Miho looked steadfastly at him, she could not help but feel apprehensive, though at the same time, relieved. She had been afraid of what Kakashi had been subtly exhibiting and was glad that she'd gotten it in the open so soon—she was not used to kindness being displayed towards her, and even less used to turning it down.

"You're quite right, as always, Miho," said Kakashi quietly. "That part of me…it did not quite disappear, but it certainly faded when Rin died." He let out a sigh. "I didn't mean to startle or irritate you—but I have my own reasons."

Miho smiled bitterly, and even though she knew that she shouldn't be kind to Kakashi, shouldn't build a relationship with him because he didn't know that she was capable of betraying her village, didn't know she was capable of many worse things…she reached out and touched his masked face lightly.

"When I told you that I liked you, five years ago," said Miho, "I was sincere. You know me—my crush may have seen immature, but I genuinely liked you. But that like, senpai, no matter what it may have been, could not compare to what I felt for Itachi."

His gaze reached hers sharply, warily, as Miho dropped her hand down to her side; they had not breached this subject since her second day back in Konoha, and Miho never volunteered information. More than anything, she never admitted that there was something between her and Itachi, something unexplainable that drove her to believe him quite the way she had: blindly and foolishly.

"Your answer to my confession back then changed nothing," she said softly. "In the end, the ending would've been the same. What happened was between me and him. Don't blame yourself for thinking that you could've changed the past."

"That's not quite all," said Kakashi.

"I know. You think that if I can somehow remember what it feels to…like someone again…I'll forget about finding Itachi," she said oddly. "And I'm telling you—it doesn't work that way. I'm in deeper than you think."

"Revenge leads you nowhere, Miho."

"Your words are lost on me. Save them for Sasuke."

"What makes you think I can get through to Sasuke when even you won't listen?" he said, and for the first time, she caught an anger in his voice. "Do you think it's that simple? You find him, you kill him—and then what? Then you will have nothing else in your life to do—you will spend the rest of it, unfulfilled and wasted, hateful that you could not understand the true worth of life, regretful that you could not find something beyond merely revenge. Then what will you do?"

"Then I'll come back," she said, "unburdened and free, and if your offer still stands, I'll take it, settle down, and live."

"It won't happen like that," said Kakashi coldly.

"Probably not," she shrugged. "The more plausible outcome would be that Itachi will kill me instead."

"Then why—"

"I don't know," she said flatly. "I don't, I don't know why I can't let it go—but the only think I thought of when I woke up was that I so very desperately wanted to see his face when he found out that I had survived."

"…When you woke up?" repeated Kakashi.

Miho cursed inwardly; she had unintentionally slipped…

"You know what I mean," she said, hastily recovering herself. "When I remembered everything."

Kakashi still seemed dubious, but she couldn't tell from his mask. Regardless, he had outstayed his welcome. His prodding and his attempts to persuade her had made her out-of-sorts; in the end, he was the best at arousing her conscience.

"I'm tired, Kakashi."

That was all she needed to say. Kakashi's expression—or what she could see of it—cleared, and he patted her lightly on the head.

"I hope you're not angry with me, Miho."

She shook her head noiselessly.

"I'll let you sleep then."

I made a major mistake, that day with Kakashi. He acts the same, he is still kind…but I can sense his wariness. His eyes are on me when he thinks I'm not looking at him. I can't help but feel that he's being asked to watch me—which means that the Hokage doesn't trust me. Oro-prick is going to be a little upset…that being a huge understatement.

Chuunin exam begins tomorrow. Sasuke came over for dinner today, and he seems jittery. Excited, perhaps. He asked me what I did for my Chuunin exam.

I truthfully don't remember. I just remember Otou-san not caring very much because…he'd become a Chuunin ages ago.

And in the end, all the miseries of my life circle back to him.

Miho had to mask her anger and disbelief for the entire duration of the third preliminaries; only when Sasuke's fight had ended and Kakashi had left with him to seal the curse did Miho see that the man who was certainly Orochimaru disappear as well. Not bothering to tell Sakura or Naruto where she was going, she hurried down the staircase and followed Orochimaru's chakra outside, which then shortly joined Kakashi's and Sasuke's as she turned around a corner and delve deeper into the forest. Miho quickly suppressed her chakra and hid in the shadows of a tree; she was not close enough to hear, but she had no need to. No doubt Kakashi would be warning Orochimaru of his return to the village…she would only intervene if Orochimaru tried to kill him, but she doubted that she'd be much help anyway, honestly…

Thankfully, Orochimaru left without a confrontation, and Miho followed him stealthily as she kept the rage boiling in her veins from resurfacing in her chakra; how dare he put that cursed seal on Sasuke—she'd completely missed it, so preoccupied she was with the orders to kill the Sandaime, and then her own attempts to sneak into Konoha library and research. Orochimaru stopped at the edge of the forest, and Miho finally stepped out.

"What the hell are you planning?" she said coldly.

Orochimaru stiffened as he turned around, his snake-like eyes lighting up in surprise as he saw her.

"Miho, Miho, Miho…your sneakiness has go to stop. I'm starting to get alarmed with my inability to sense you."

"Cut the crap, Orochimaru," she snarled. "When did you ever mention you were going to do that to Sasuke?"

"I wasn't aware of your affinity for the boy," he answered. "He looks remarkably like Itachi, doesn't he? The Uchiha breed such beautiful men."

"Orochimaru."

"Why are you so surprised, Miho?" he sneered. "You know what I desire: immortality, for immortal knowledge. What better way to obtain it than take the immaculate genes and ability of the Uchiha clan? You are familiar with their brilliance, Miho—I assure you that Sasuke-kun's eyes will soon surpass Itachi's, and by that time, he will be ripe for the plucking."

"You're such a sick bastard—"

"But what can you do about it?" said Orochimaru. "I gave you everything you need to find Itachi, Miho, and gave you a fighting chance to even kill him. It is because of my testing that your abilities are so advanced—"

"You gave me nothing," she spat. "You gave me pain, torture, experimentation—everything I have, Orochimaru, is a result of my own ability and nothing else! Do not drag Sasuke into this—"

"Miho," said Orochimaru with a patient sigh, "you misunderstand me. My curse is merely an appetizer, a temptation for Sasuke-kun to get a taste of what true power is…do you think I aim to kidnap him? That would just lead to multiple escape attempts and trouble, much like your case. I assure you, Miho, that Sasuke-kun will come find me of his own volition, and by that time, nothing can be said that will waver his desire for greatness."

Orochimaru bared a serpent's smile as his yellow eyes gleamed.

"You two aren't so different, you know. He will betray his village for power, much like you will—because in the end, the information that I am hiding about Itachi is more important than anything, isn't it? You won't tell anyone a thing because killing Itachi is what keeps you living. I really should send him a thank-you card, for sending two such wonderful specimen in my direction."

He turned to leave, but spoke once more before he did, and his voice did not contain the same kind of oily slipperiness that it normally did, and instead was menacing and terrifying.

"…It has not escaped my notice, Miho, that you are becoming a bit too wild for adequate control. I have already begun training a sensor of your caliber; take note that sooner than later, you will no longer be needed on field, and keeping you locked up is enough for your blood. I will not deal with your tolerance for much longer." He turned around, and Miho shuddered at his intense killing intent. "Do take heed to control yourself."

He disappeared from sight, and when he did, the air cleared, and Miho let out a breath that she wasn't aware she'd been holding.

Orochimaru was right. There was not much more time.

350 official missions. 53 D-rank, 152 C-rank, 134 B-rank, 0 A-rank, 1 S-rank.

Truthfully, I'd expected more A-rank or S-rank…but it's possible that they didn't record them all. The information about him is sparse and generic in the public access bingo book, only that he is an S-rank criminal across all the villages.

The library has mostly no information on him in particular, albeit a rather biased biography of the Uchiha clan, seeing as it was written by an Uchiha. There is virtually no information on Akatsuki either—one would think that an organization that has S-ranked criminals in it would've been heard of…but I can't say anything either. I only have that one name to go by, dropped carelessly by Orochimaru when he thought I wasn't listening.

It's frustrating. I don't think I can get anything unless I access the Hokage's personal records. Which means that the invasion will have to happen because I need time to find them.

And then, after I do, I'll give Orochimaru hell.

She waited. Waited as the sun blazed down on the stadium, as Gaara and Sasuke fought, and while everyone else's attention was on the two combatants, she watched that one person in the back of the stadium, his ANBU mask white and glaring in the sunlight.

There was a surge of chakra from the arena and Miho spared a second to glance down; it was an inhuman level of chakra emanating from Gaara's absolute defense of sand, and she gritted her teeth. If she had been informed correctly, this wasn't supposed to happen. She swiveled her gaze back to the corner of the room, and the ANBU member brought up his hands in a seal, and there was a slight nod as the genjutsu activated and everyone around them fell asleep.

Miho brought her hands together for the genjutsu deflection; next to her, Gai and Kakashi did the same. There was an explosion from the Top Box, and she knew that Orochimaru and his cronies had begun the Operation. Shinobi hidden in the crowd gathered around them, but any number was useless against Kakashi, who sent them flying easily.

Miho stopped spending the extra effort to make her chakra levels apparent and let them drop and disappear. Kakashi turned around instantly.

"Miho!"

He looked almost confused at the sight of her still standing there, untouched, unlike her chakra indicated.

"Why—"

She disappeared behind him and, with swift dexterity, cast off the bandages around her wrists that hid the Summoning seals before she Summoned a thin sword and held it at his neck.

"Kakashi!" shouted Gai, throwing off an assailant and heading in their direction.

"Stop," said Miho coldly. "You don't want to see his throat slit, do you?"

"What are you doing, Miho?" said Kakashi quietly.

"Nothing," she answered. "Orochimaru is after the Sandaime's life—there's about a fifty-fifty chance of whichever one surviving, but taking into consideration his age, the Sandaime will most likely die. That's not the biggest problem though—whatever you do, make sure Sasuke doesn't go to Orochimaru, no matter how much he wants to."

She blocked Kakashi's arm from elbowing her and held it tightly in place.

"Then whose side are you on?" Kakashi demanded.

"No one's. I hold allegiance to no village, no person; I am enslaved by nothing but my own revenge. I told you before, Kakashi—I'm in much deeper than you think, and I've been long past saving."

She saw Gai throw an oncoming ninja in their direction and she ducked instantly. The victim hit the wall with such force that he went flying through it, leaving a hole and an escape route through the stadium.

Miho sensed Kakashi's body twist from her distracted hold and she dropped her sword, ducking under his chakra-laced swipe and aiming for the hole. He caught her shoulder and held it tightly in place; she gritted her teeth as electric current jolted through it, numbing it. She whirled around, her chakra invisible, swept down low and aimed a solid kick upward; Kakashi moved slightly backward but she changed direction instantly, following his profile and connecting her foot with his chest. Upon contact, her strength amplified with chakra, and Kakashi was sent sliding back enough so that Miho dove for the hole and fell through it as more ninjas began to crowd the scene.

Her journey to the Hokage's office was short and swift; she chose the most deserted paths and encountered even less opposition at the office itself. All forces had been mobilized, leaving her search unhindered and free. She healed her arm along the way so that by the time she arrived within the office, her chakra was undetectable and her condition was pristine.

The secret records room was not terribly hard to find; her minimal time in ANBU and years of sneaking around Orochimaru's hideout lent Miho an eye for such things, and she'd found the room behind the lairs of a small closet. There were thousands of records, but Miho had time; she scanned through them quickly, one by one, eliminating by title and date; after her initial screening, she was left with less than a hundred scrolls, which she then sat down to peruse with renewed concentration.

Itachi was mentioned quite often, but it was in connection with the multitude of political missions he'd embarked on; essentially, Miho was not interested. Eventually, she learned the name Itachi essentially meant nothing. It was merely just the name of a tool, a method. No, the more obscure records always had to deal with the Uchiha clan as a whole, which befuddled her. If anything, she'd always thought of the Uchiha clan as a strong asset to the village—perhaps invariably and obstinately proud—but still an asset. The terms connected with them now, though, did not fit her picture of the Uchiha: troublemakers, power-hungry, superior…

The time ticked onwards, shielding from the chaos that reigned outside; when she allowed herself to stop and rest her eyes, her conscience nagged her and her guilt grew. She could imagine the screams outside, and Kakashi's stunned expression when she had turned against him. Here she was, a doctor by blood, letting the people around her die so she could gain some reading time…she blinked rapidly and shook her head—no, this as what she wanted, she'd already come to terms with this…and Miho resumed, letting the hours pass by as she grew more and more immersed in her reading, and each scroll began to take longer to read. She was only halfway through them when she sensed a group of chakra outside in the office. Kakashi and Gai were among them, but the rest, she did not recognize.

Miho grabbed a few scrolls and opened her own Summoning scroll, sealing the unread ones away and putting the rest back in order. She inched towards the door, careful to make her chakra unnoticeable and to mask any ill intent as she listened.

"…A disaster unbeknownst to our village," said an old man's voice wearily.

"The Sandaime…I hear he injured Orochimaru badly before he…" said Gai, the grief unmistakable in his voice.

Miho could not prevent the waves of guilt creep up…so the Sandaime had died. And Orochimaru was mortally wounded. She heaved a sigh. She could only hope that he would die of the wounds…though knowing that he had multiple stashes of her blood and Kabuto at his side, it was highly unlikely. She settled for wishing that he was in unbearable pain.

"Suna will be contacting us for further negotiations; apparently, they've been manipulated by Orochimaru."

"Nonsense," said an old woman's voice scornfully. "They are only making excuses for such a disgrace…"

"Now is not the time for political warfare," said Kakashi. "Preparations must be made to repair the village…and for the Sandaime's funeral."

"We have arranged for such things…it will take place in two days," said the elderly man. "In the meantime, please alert all the jounin to help with the village repair, and we will contact ANBU."

"One final thing," said Kakashi, "I ask that special attention be paid to Uchiha Sasuke. I have…received an alert…that he may go to Orochimaru willingly."

"Who told you such a thing?" said the old woman sharply.

Kakashi did not answer, and so Gai took his place.

"…Chiaki Miho has defected to the enemy."

"What?" screeched the old woman. "Kakashi, we told you explicitly to keep an eye on her—"

"She exhibited nothing peculiar in demeanor," said Kakashi tonelessly.

"That is not the point! That girl has been lying to us the entire time—I told you not to let your old judgments cloud your decision making; she has lied about everything! What amnesia? What Suna? What does she truly know?"

"Koharu," said the old man sternly. "Control yourself."

There seemed to be a double meaning behind his warning, one that Miho could not help but frown at. The councilwoman, Koharu, was feeling…Miho closed her eyes as she probed for the emotions…frightened, anxious, suspicious; what did Miho know? What was she supposed to know?

"Never mind," said Koharu tiredly. "Hatake Kakashi, Maitou Guy…alert the jounin. Carry out your duty. That is all."

There was murmuring, shuffling, and then Kakashi and Gai's chakra disappeared. Miho listened keenly as the councilwoman resumed speaking, her voice much lower than before, and muffled by the multiple walls that separated Miho and them.

"She may…the truth," said Koharu. "What do we do?"

"Nothing," said the councilman. "Now that Sarutobi…possible that…wait…"

Miho pressed her ear closer to the door, trying wildly to think of a jutsu that could aid her in this predicament, but then realizing that she could use nothing without being sensed.

But then the councilwoman spoke again, her voice clear.

"We must tread cautiously…keep alert…Itachi will be coming."

"Words cannot explain how deeply apologetic Suna is for this disaster," said the Suna official to Kakashi as he bowed low. "We have already discussed with our council and have agreed to an unconditional surrender to Konoha, and—"

"There is no need to be worried," said Kakashi, waving his apology aside. "We will work to rebuild Konoha and Suna's physical and political infrastructure; please work hard in choosing your new Kazekage as we work to choose our Godaime."

"We appreciate it," said the official straightening up. "We will be leaving now—Gaara, Temari, Kankuro—let's go."

"A minute," said Kakashi, stopping them as they stepped outside Konoha's gates.

They looked at him warily, almost frightened that he was going to punish them in some way. Kakashi smiled to alleviate their tension.

"I just had a question. You all knew Chiaki Miho, did you not?"

They looked at each other cautiously before turning their gazes back to him. It was Temari who answered.

"We did, yeah," she said. "Not well or anything—she came for collaborative meetings and stuff, and sometimes was in the hospital…"

"So she was with Orochimaru, not Suna," he clarified.

Temari nodded. "Yeah, with Orochimaru. She and that Kabuto guy were always with him…like his prime henchmen or something."

Kakashi unconsciously felt his stomach drop.

"She…told Konoha that she woke up with amnesia and was cared for by a Suna family while she worked in the hospital for four years—I assume this wasn't true."

Kankuro shook his head. "No, she didn't live in Suna. We were told to keep this alibi, though we weren't really sure what her purpose was."

"In fact…" Temari turned to her brother, "I don't think she was even doing her part of the plan."

"And that would be?" said Kakashi quickly.

"She was supposed to knock out most of the real ANBU members, because she was familiar with their formation, and then she was supposed to sneak up and kill the jounin that she could because her chakra hiding ability gave her that advantage."

"Has she always been able to hide her chakra like that?" questioned Kakashi.

"Yeah, the first time I saw her with Orochimaru, I thought she was just his…uh…I guess toy would be a better word for it," said Kankuro, wincing slightly. "She didn't exert any chakra at all—it was kinda creepy. But then she made it clear that she could fight…"

"I see," said Kakashi heavily.

"Don't be misled," said Gaara suddenly. His siblings turned to him, somewhat stunned that he'd spoken up at all.

Kakashi looked at the pale redhead intently.

"Meaning?" he inquired politely.

"…Orochimaru had her and the white-haired medic set examples of some Suna traitors for the rest of the council. She snapped their necks in two with her bare hands." Gaara turned to leave, his voice flat and monotonous as he spoke. "She's…disturbed. Volatile. Don't take her lightly."

Nothing. Absolutely, positively nothing.

I am missing something here. The recordkeeping is unbearably cryptic, and everything just skates over the Uchiha clan massacre except for the documentation of actual event, in which every autopsy is carefully detailed. I now know that my father bled to death fifteen minutes after his throat was first slit, which means that I could've saved him. Fuck it all.

Why are they so certain he will come? How long should I be waiting? What am I waiting for? I cannot hide here in Konoha forever. The guilt will end up consuming me. Clandestinely healing those in the hospital that I can at night doesn't cut it; the village was alive with mourning and the sky cried for the Sandaime's funeral, and…my heart could not help but convulse in the worst possible manner as I reminded myself: that is blood on your hands, Miho, blood that was spilled for your foolishness, your caustic abandonment of humanity.

No, I cannot keep this up for much longer at all.

Where is she?"

"Please calm down, Orochimaru-sama," said Kabuto, sweat dripping down his forehead out of sheer nervousness. "We don't know where she is, I can't contact her and no doubt she took the opportunity to run—"

"Find her!"

"Don't move so much, Orochimaru-sama, you'll agitate what I've done to your arms—"

"You've done nothing!" screeched Orochimaru. "I cannot feel my arms—her blood is not working—"

"Because undiluted blood only works for poisons or flesh wounds—your hands have effectively been sealed—"

"THEN FIND HER."

Kabuto bowed and exited the room, leaving Orochimaru to lean against his chair, panting heavily. The pain was only exacerbated by his frustration at his uselessness; he ground his teeth together at the thought of Miho escaping. After he had warned her already…

"Karin!" barked Orochimaru.

It took only a few minutes for his voice to echo down the hallway before there was a scuttle and the entrance way, and a red-haired kunoichi with glasses appeared, her head bowed down.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama?"

"It's about time to make yourself useful," he rasped. "You will double your own training and experimentation starting from now."

Karin blanched. "Double?"

"Yes," snapped Orochimaru. "Double—if you're that incompetent, then settle your focus on reading in long distances. I need you to be able to sense Miho from afar, without her noticing you."

"But…I can't sense her," said Karin blankly. "No one can—she suppresses and I—"

"I will ensure she uses her chakra when she returns," said Orochimaru coldly. "When she does, you need to alert me. Understand?"

Karin nodded. "But…what makes you so sure she'll come back?"

Orochimaru gave a twisted smile, one fueled by pain and fury. "I have something she wants. She'll definitely return."

I snuck into the funeral procession today. A bit risky, perhaps, and I could not help but think that Kakashi may have glanced my way more than a few times.

What are humans? Where do we go? As I looked at the Sandaime's memorial photograph, I could not help but think—why did he die with a smile on his face? He had not killed Orochimaru, his own student…truly a kind-hearted but foolish man. Orochimaru did not have any qualms of killing him, I'm sure.

But does that man even count as a human? I heard Iruka saying: the most important thing is to die for a cause. Sandaime's cause was to protect Konoha. That much is clear.

Yet…when I think to myself…I should've died that night, no doubt. So if I had died…what did I die for? What cause? Not love for Konoha…only fear and fury, ten minutes of trials and tribulations, idiotic love and lost purpose: no, I had no cause to die for, no passion to live for, and therefore nothing worth dying for.

So when I think about myself now…granted with a twisted second chance at life…Kakashi's words come back to mind. What do I seek? Revenge? I know I can never kill Itachi—his skills will best mine no matter how much I try. But that's not all. The truth remains:

I do not know if I want to kill Itachi.

It's bizarre. It's a cold, cruel twist of fate.

But the fact remains. I am purposeless.

Miho read her way through the scrolls multiple times. She could not deduce much, other than that the Uchiha were not regarded highly by the upper echelons of Konoha's politics; they were labeled as "disturbers of the peace," "superiority," "having an insatiable appetite for power…" It made sense, in a twisted, horrible way, if she took what she knew of the Uchiha and exaggerated it tenfold. Pride could be interpreted as power-hungry, and arrogance as steely superiority…but what was the point? This was not what she needed to find.

Miho rolled over on her bed and buried her face in her pillow. She had been staying in a hotel room for the last two days, her chakra fully concealed, her alias that of a visiting tourist from Kusagakure. She exhibited no murderous tendencies or fighting capabilities; her disguise was that of a beautiful woman, beautiful enough for the innkeeper to give her a free week's stay and room service to boot. Life was certainly easier for the lovely.

But in the confines of her room, Miho let down her disguise, and she was left with only her scowling, unremarkable reflection as company. Brow furrowed, journals and belongings scattering the room, Miho remained largely alone. Her sensing capabilities were fairly limited due to the degree of which she was hiding her own chakra, but it was enough to catch any threats that could've approached her out of suspicion.

She frowned in frustration as she ran the facts over in her head. Truthfully, though, why did the Uchiha's arrogance matter? It did not apply to Itachi—no, Itachi needed a motive…because no matter what Sasuke told her, "testing his capabilities" was a bullshit excuse. The Itachi she knew would've never massacred is entire family just because he needed to "test his capabilities."

But then again, what did she know? In the end, she would've never pinpointed Itachi as someone who could even fathom killing his family…but who did she know?
Miho bolted upright in her bed, her heartbeat suddenly racing.

Hiroki. She knew him. Highly regarded the Uchiha…what had he said in that conversation she'd barely listened to: an essential part in the founding of Konoha, but shunted to the side as the police force…fascinated with their power, their genius…surely that wouldn't have gone unnoticed if the Konoha higher-ups were so conscious of the Uchiha pride.

She threw off the covers and began to disguise herself. It looked like she needed to pay another trip to the record room.

After five years, he had not expected himself to feel much when he saw Konoha again. Indeed, the place harbored no particularly warm memories for him; the only memories that were particularly fresh in his mind led up to the night of the massacre, and they were not memories he was fond of.

But he could not help but imperceptibly frown at the site of his home village in shambles, tattered and in ruin. Beside him, Kisame let out a low whistle.

"No need to beat up what's already broken, eh?" his partner grinned, showing rows and rows of teeth. "What do you think?"

"This village is already past its prosperity," replied Itachi, his crimson eyes barely flickering as he surveyed the hordes of people congregating in the streets to help with the repair. He wondered if Saske was among them. "No need to feel pity for it."

Kisame's grin widened. "Actually, you kind of missed it, didn't you?"

Itachi's expression did not change as he replied.

"No. Not at all." He beckoned lazily. "Come. Let's go."

Miho emerged from the records room undetected but more confused than ever. Hiroki had been tracked. His movements with the Uchiha had been marked. And in the end: why?

She wandered aimlessly in the streets, thinking, heading for the edge of the village where that old, familiar bridge stood. She needed the quiet, the clarity. Her journals documented her entire thought process, but they now ran in circles that never ended but never began; she was merely rehashing information that was slowly growing stale.

Akatsuki. The record room didn't even have much on them: just an international, underground organization full of S-Class criminals and no known motives. No one even knew where the base of the organization was, if it had any at all…but nothing tied the Uchiha massacre and Akatsuki together except for Itachi. It was here that Miho had a dilemma, because she could not help but feel that everything interconnected—she just didn't know how. What was she suppose to pursue: the past or the present?

She arrived at the bridge mindlessly, but right as she reached the other side of it, she froze. Someone's chakra—it was enormous—how had she missed it? Miho checked to make sure that no one was in her close vicinity before heading into the forest and, after sheltering herself in a tree, let down her disguises and expanded her sensing range.

The enormous chakra was unfamiliar but was surrounded by some she recognized. Asuma, Kurenai, Kakashi…she frowned as she closed her eyes and concentrated. There were dips and surges in chakra; they were fighting.

And someone else was with them…

Her eyes snapped open as her breaths came shallower and her blood ran cold.

It was him. There was no doubt about it.

She left without hesitation, abandoning her secrecy and letting the chakra carry her legs as quickly as they could go in the direction of the man who shamefully was all the purpose she had for living.

Itachi could feel the repercussions of the Mangekyou take their toll; the exhaustion came quickly, and accompanying it was a familiar arrhythmia that he masked from Kisame. Hatake Kakashi had collapsed on the water, subjected to three days' worth of torture; their main threat had been eliminated, and Itachi hadn't even had to kill him.

"You should be careful, Itachi-san," said Kisame warningly. "Those eyes tax your body considerably."

"What are you…are you after Sasuke?" panted Kakashi. Itachi was impressed that he was conscious at all.

"No," said Itachi. "We're after the Yondaime's legacy."

"Your target is the Kyuubi inside Naruto, isn't it?" said Kakashi, evidently struggling to remain conscious. "You've begun to make your move…you didn't think we'd know? Your organization's name…it's 'Akatsuki,' isn't it?"

Itachi and Kisame exchanged swift glances. It was going to be difficult to continue protecting the Konoha jounin—Kakashi knew too much.

"Kisame," he said coolly, "take them out. It's time for these people to disappear."

Kisame chuckled and moved forward to obey, but before he could enact the attack, another chakra joined them, and Kisame was sent skidding backward from the assailant's kick. Itachi looked on, unsurprised, as Maitou Gai straightened up in front of him.

"What the fuck…" Kisame muttered, "who the hell is this?"

Itachi was right about to reply when he abruptly felt a killing intent soar near him; he moved unconsciously and quite correctly at that, for a sword punctured right where he stood from below milliseconds later. The new attacker wasted no time following up and he struggled to parry the blows; Itachi could sense nothing, could nearly see nothing except for an ANBU mask that looked frighteningly familiar.

"Itachi-san!"

"Take care of the jounin," he called, skidding to a stop a few feet away as his attacker finally took a break, allowing him to survey who it was.

Still no chakra. It alarmed him, as did the mask. Who…where had he seen it…and he was not one to be alarmed, frightened, almost…so why did it…

"Your genius Uchiha mind should've put it together by now, right?" said a smooth female voice from behind that deadly mask, and it was a voice that rekindled something far away in his mind, a voice that chilled him to the bone. "Who else has a chakra you can't sense?"

It was impossible. Completely impossible.

The attacker pulled off her mask, and even upon seeing that face, Itachi did not fully believe.

"Hello, Itachi," said Chiaki Miho.

free talk:

sorry about the false alarm today. here is the chapter, earlier than i'd intended! hope you enjoy.

so...argh for shisui actually being good...in the words of one of my reviewers: "well this is awkward." :( sorry, i anticipated too soon...

and i messed with karin's timeline a little. i don't know when she started working for orochimaru, so my bad if i messed things up.

hope you enjoyed it! :)
please review.
xoxo,

m.n