Obsession - Chapter 13: Guilt and Departure
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji.
When the early morning arrives, Alois sneaks back toward the Phantomhive manor. As he steps into the quiet building, groans emit from the blond, incited due to the sores along his body for sleeping on the bench for the last half of the night yesterday. He plans to slink to Alice's bedroom, but then he notices something out of place.
There she is, sitting calmly on the sofa: the infamous whore Hannah Anafeloz. Alois has nearly forgotten that she is also residing in this manor for the time-being. Not that it truly matters though; her only use is to be beaten, and if she is not a toy to fool around with, then that trifling maid can go die for all he cares. Since in this stringent manor he is not allowed to 'discipline' his servants, Alois chooses to ignore her entire presence so that he will not be aggravated by the mere thought of her.
"M-Master." Hannah hastily stands when he has admitted himself into the manor, and she bows her head low as an act of submission.
Alois peers around the living room, and seeing that no one has woken up yet, he turns back to Hannah with a fake smile plastered on his face. It sure has been a while since he has lashed out on anyone, and he has been so deprived—this should compensate for the loss.
"Stay standing." He skips over and settles onto a sofa. When he has approached, his maid begins to tremble as if fearful. Well, she is supposed to be frightened of him. That is the whole concept of subjugation after all; she is to obey and she is to be afraid. Without fear now how will anyone drill punishment into an uncouth tramp such as she?
As commanded, Hannah remains standing and rigid. Her line of vision does not fall to him even once. With her conspicuous like this, Alois is able to inspect her long lavender hair that tumbles down her back, bandaged eye, down-turned lips as if she acknowledges her own helplessness, huge bust and voluptuous figure that many imbeciles must have fallen victim to. That thought functions to disgust him further at the sight of how despicably beguiling she is.
"What a slut you are," Alois comments tediously as if the mention of this lamentable fact tires him out greatly. He is studying his fingernails that are chipped from impetuously climbing down Alice's window, when an ingenious idea befalls him. Humiliation is the best punishment, in which is quite superfluous to state. He should instill to her how awful it is to be as slutty as she. Perhaps after that she will learn to be more appropriate.
His finger lifts in the air to point at Hannah. "You, strip. Right now for everyone to see when they come downstairs."
If she is appalled, she is clever enough not to show it. However, she hesitates, and that is apparent when she remains stiff for seconds too long.
"What's wrong, Hannah?" Alois sneers. "You thought that after a few days without me, you can defy me as you please?" His face contorts to a scowl as impatience is swift to take hold. "Strip!"
Hannah flinches slightly when he has amplified his volume, and her fingers fumble with her apron. She soon disposes of it on the ground and begins to undress herself. When she reaches her lingerie, she once again ceases for a brief period of time, in which instigates his annoyance.
Alois raises his hand to slap her. "Bitch, you'd better—"
"Trancy!"
At the sound of his name, Alois turns to see Ciel and Sebastian descending the spiral stairs. Despite the rage that still lingers within him, he dons on a pretentious smile and waves with mock enthusiasm. "Good morning! You're just in time for a show—..."
As commanded by his young master, Sebastian flings down Alois' luggage, and the owner of the item is rendered motionless for an interval of time before uttering, "Where did you get that?"
The question is rather rhetorical for the answer can be discovered on the creased brow upon Ciel's forehead. Alois' instincts tell him that he is not in a very safe position as of now (but if anything, Hannah can be his body shield). After sparing a few more moments for consideration, it piques his curiosity how Alice is at the moment if Ciel has gained knowledge of their 'activities'. Realizing how rigorous Ciel is and how much he loathes Alois, Alice must have been punished quite severely herself.
"It's..." Alois begins hesitantly, "...it's not exactly all of Alice's fault..." He cringes after proclaiming that much. Prior to these last few days it is not possible that he can act so virtuous, for being morally upright is not in every respect desirable. But what has changed within him, he has yet to thoroughly comprehend.
"Huh. I never would have deemed you as anyone righteous enough to admit as much."
His aloof tone disturbs the Earl of Trancy, and he inspects the former closer to see that Ciel is wholly empty of any particular expression. His sapphire eye is trained on Alois, but it fails to portray the level of disdain and wrath that he has predicted it would.
Confused, Alois asks, "You're not angry? Seriously?"
"It is not of my business to be," is his calm and cool reply, which possesses the effect of discombobulating Alois further. A day ago if he was found anywhere near Alice, he would be given harsh and menacing glares. If he was discovered engaging in intimate affairs with Alice, he would be obliterated to unidentifiable pieces.
But now, what has happened?
"Come into my study," Ciel commands as he heads back up the stairs.
"Why?"
"So that I can tell you the reason why your manor was reconstructed."
He will get married.
The words traverse through every neuron of Alice's brain, and they are entrenched in the depths of her mind. She cannot remove them even if she begged herself to forget.
So many tears have stained her pillow at this point, and her body is plagued with weariness. She is just tired. There is not one notion in this world that can bestow her happiness any longer. Her heart aches, and it stifles her breathing until it is as if she is pending to choke.
I have lost my brother. And now, I lost Alois.
Those two, along with Patty, have been the most important people of her life. They are her structure, the core of being. By simply being around them, Alice feels blessed. At times, she would pause to look at the radiant sky and thank the heavens for granting her such wonderful people.
But why couldn't they get along? Why did they have to hate each other so much?
Alice has been scolded many times for being so naive and ingenuous, for being so foolish by believing that everything can work out well. Perhaps she is an idiot for conferring her trust in that, but never did she stop believing.
Until now.
What is of significance anymore? She has come here and accumulated knowledge about the most greatest things on earth. She has been loved by her marvelous brother who she is so grateful to be able to obtain, and she has fallen in love with an unfathomable guy who impels her heart to race whenever she is with him.
But everything has dispersed in the matter of a day.
A steadfast rap on the door sounds, and immediately, desperation surges through her as she pines that it would be either Ciel or Alois that has come for her.
But, it is neither. In fact, it is her father.
"Daddy!" Alice calls weakly from her bed, and Benjamin approaches to sit on a chair. He glances at her in a compassionate manner, and that is when she noticed that her father is carrying a small bag, in which is thrown over his shoulder. He has sported on clean clothing, and there is a determined look in his eyes as if...
"Daddy, where are you going?" she croaks, feeling dread seeping in her like a deleterious existence.
Benjamin is sheepish as he gazes down at his shabby shoes. "Dearie... I'm leaving tonight. I decided to travel, much like your mother. I want to experience what the world has to offer and gather creativity from other regions for my art."
"No, Daddy!" Alice cries passionately, shaking her head. She realizes that she is being selfish and childish, but the emptiness from losing too many people that she deeply loves is a grave burden that she cannot continue to bear. "You can't leave me, too! I only have Mum and you left! You can't leave me—"
"I know I can't," he answers without lifting his eyes. "And that is why... that is why I'm asking right now for you to come along with me. We can leave this place, just you and I, and start all over."
Appalled, Alice is unable to blink for several moments. To start all over and leave behind all of the valuable memories that have transpired here? Her chest tightens as if her lungs have contracted to disallow her respiration.
But if she leaves, she would not have to go through the pain that is shredding her to pieces from inside out. Befuddled, Alice clenches her head and requests for more time to consider this, and her father grants her it and takes his leave after patting her head.
"Just you and I."
Alois settles into a chair across from Ciel. "So wait... it's not because the Queen likes me more than you?"
"Of course not," Ciel replies in a forthright and blunt manner, patently indifferent to crushing the blond's feelings and hopes. Without explaining his intentions, he rummages through one of his desk drawers, while Alois waits in anticipation. Soon after, Ciel retrieves a type of book and flips through it. Once he has reached the designated page, Ciel places the book neatly on the desk for Alois to view.
The Earl of Trancy inquisitively inclines his torso to read the printed material, and his blood runs cold at the sight of it. Ciel must have noticed the boy's agitated expression, and speaks up rather pompously, "This is the Funtom Company accounting book, as you can see. It is quite interesting, is it not? Particularly the page you are reading. You should realize why I'm showing you this."
Alois grits his teeth in frustration as he gazes at the data written onto the page: it states his association, that is the Trancy Co., and beside it is 600£ written in red ink. It basically indicates that his establishment has borrowed approximately six-thousand pounds from the Funtom Co. on the twelfth of June.
Here it is, the book that Alois has long searched for (albeit the fact that he has been distracted as of late) so that he can eradicate it to oblivion. Judging by Ciel's supercilious look, which consists of a haughty smirk, the Earl of Phantomhive must have known that Alois owes money to him for a while now. The only reason why he has not exposed it to the light until this moment is because he has planned to use it in order to blackmail Alois into completing a favor for him. The blond has experienced these kind of scandalous plays before, hence he is able to mentally grasp the trouble he is immersed in.
"I'll pay you back eventually!" Alois lies with a scornful growl.
Ciel lets out a rather impertinent scoff. "You are in debt to five other prodigious companies that specialize in merchandise, and your own company's production has degraded to the point that a few shillings earned a day should be the maximum. There is no possible way that you can recover from the economic loss—well, at least not in your current state."
Humiliated by Ciel's disparagement of his company, Alois fumes in his seat and resorts to a sharp retort, "I don't see how this has anything to do with the Queen fixing my manor."
"I was getting to that." Ciel calmly reclines back in his leather chair and folds his hands together to rest on his lap. "Her Majesty... She wishes for you to espouse with a noblesse."
"To hell with that!" Alois yells, scowling in a belligerent manner. When he notices that he has jumped out of his seat in the passion of the moment, the blond falls back into his seat with a huff. He then twists his lips into a spiteful smirk and cocks his head to the side. "I'm not going to get marry to any other girl. I already have a certain person in mind."
If Ciel is irritated, he has hidden it well, and he clears his throat, "Unfortunately, you will have to relinquish that person for the marriage is arranged to take place tomorrow—"
"What?" Alois leaps out of his seat again, but Ciel merely gestures for him to sit down. However, Alois has no intention to for he is in the midst of heated rage, and he irascibly slams his palms on the surface of the desk.
"Look, Phantomhive. No one orders me around and no one can force me to do things I don't want to do—not even your precious Queenie. I'm not going to get married to some desperate, lonely bitch that I haven't even seen a shadow of before. I'm not going to get tied down to one girl already. I've seen you and Elizabeth, and how piteously miserable you are, dog. I prefer to not suffer from the same fate."
Ciel does not appear fazed by his refractory nature. "Understandable why you do not want to get betrothed. However, let us look at this from an economical perspective. This marriage is highly beneficial for you as you will earn an abundant amount of pounds to pay off all your liabilities. I will even chip in from my own finance to accommodate your marriage."
However, it is rather improbable to persuade the Earl of Trancy for he is peevish and obstinate. "As amusing as it would be to see you give up your chew-toy for me, dog, I don't need your help, and I definitely do not need this stupid marriage's help. Pay off all my debts by enslaving my whole life to a girl? No."
Ciel smirks in a disheartening way that warns him of whatever is to come next would be unpropitious. "Well, it is your choice. But, if you choose not to do the marriage as planned, the Queen would suffer from pecuniary losses as she has already inputted a substantial amount for your marriage. Due to that, she will obligate you to account for the money, in which will amply increase your debt. The patience of the five companies and I are diminishing by the minute, and if you refuse to marry the noblesse, I will press for the money due straight away. If you do not pay me off by the desired time, there will be severe consequences. Of course, your company will be completely out of business, and you will earn no other profits besides working for the Queen—and yet, you wouldn't have paid her back yet, so why would she assign missions where she has to withdraw more of her own money for you? And thus, you have no way to gain more money, and the financial debts will drive you into selling your own manor. Then, you will be an impoverished boy with demon servants skittering around you as you sleep in the garbage-filled streets."
Alois clasps onto the arms of the chairs with such intensity that his knuckles flush white. "You bastard!"
Patricia gingerly beats against the door to denote her intrusion. With a bowl of oatmeal in her hands, she goes in and approaches the girl lying in the bed. Setting the bowl down on the bedside table, Patricia looks forlornly at Alice, feeling despair tugging at her heartstrings just at the lamentable sight of her little pumpkin drowning in unbelievable sadness.
"Pumpkin..." Patricia calls gently, patting the redhead as she hesitantly settles down on the bed.
Alice, at the sound of her dear mum's voice, lunges from her position to wrap her arms around the woman. "Mum!" she sobs, fresh tears streaming down from her puffy, red eyes.
"There, there," Patricia comforts, squeezing her precious girl. She is immensely doleful to see her pumpkin, who has used to be lively and vivacious, be so lugubrious and mournful, as if all hope has dissipated.
She examines Alice's condition, perceiving that the latter remains in her torn dress, and bruises are of salience around her neck. Patty clicks her tongue deprecatingly as the culpable blond configures in her mind. "That horny boy, really." Ciel has informed her yesterday that Alois is about to marry some other girl, and yet he has inveigled Alice into falling for him! How unnaturally cruel that boy is.
Alice's vociferous weeps heighten when Patty has mentioned Alois, and she covers her face in her hands. She cries to the extent that she begins to hiccup.
"I... I really like him, P-Patty."
"I know, pumpkin. I know," Patty soothes, rubbing her back encouragingly. "It's goin' to get better. Psh, posh! Forget 'im! There are other fish in the sea!"
"Y-you don't understand, Patty!" Alice says vehemently while convulsively catching her breath at an erratic pace as she struggles to enunciate words. "H-he makes me feel things that those stupid boys at the village can never!" She grips onto her head as if she is about to rip her hair out her scalp. "I know... I know I can't live without him, Patty. I've known that since the time when I couldn't see him for three weeks. I had never been so depressed before... I had never hated life that much before.. But now... if I can't be with him anymore..."
She cringes, and her voice trails off. Sympathetically, Patty tightens her embrace on the girl once more, pushing her bangs out of her face and tucking them behind her ear. "It's all right, pumpkin. It's all right." Internally, Patty is aware that if they do not do something, Alice is not going to be able to escape from this grief alone.
Tears fall down to her lap, and Alice grounds her teeth together to desist from deploring aloud and clenches a fistful of her dress over the area of where her heart is. "Mum... help me... please. It hurts so much."
Patty hushes her tenderly, the pain at being so useless striking the woman with guilt.
Then, a knock is produced at the door, and Patty gradually retracts, carefully untangling herself from the firm enclosure. When she has pulled away at the door, there stands that unforgivable boy at the doorway with a luggage in his hand. Initially, he appears surprised to see her there, but quickly gets over the temporary astonishment. "Er, Ciel is kicking me out in fifteen minutes, so can I—"
"No!" Patty hisses under her breath in case Alice overhears. "Why don't you just bustle yer ass outta here? Haven't you realized what you have done?"
To her shock, Alois lowers his gaze to the ground as if remorseful. "I know... but let me at least..."
Patricia deliberates this for several moments, while reproachfully glaring at Alois so that he can acknowledge that her impression of him has deteriorated to the degree that he signifies as no better than a nefarious person to her.
But at last, she remembers her sweet, innocent pumpkin who has genuinely gotten to fall in love and experience the exquisite joy and bliss of it. Never has Alice ever been so jubilant prior to her encountering this jackass. The sole good thing about Alois is that he can make Alice happy to the extent that Patty has never conceived as plausible nor was she ever able to accomplish before.
"You got ten minutes," Patty grumbles, stepping aside to afford a passage for him.
Alois sets down his luggage and enters the room. There on the bed is his cute Alice sitting upright with her hands clapped over her face. Her shoulders are shaking, and it is almost as if she is shivering from the cold.
"Alice."
Paralysis seizes her, compelling her body to a freeze as she processes the voice that she has earnestly longed to hear. Slowly, she gazes up from her hands to see her favorite person standing before her.
Alois watches as Alice looks up, and it astounds him to perceive her swollen eyes and chapped lips. She is pale and feeble as if life itself has been sucked out of her. Apparently, she has omitted changing from yesterday night's outfit—in fact, it appears as though she has not gotten up from her bed at all.
A strange feeling wallows in the pit of his stomach, and it is not simply the wrath at being forced to marry the damn noblesse. It is a sense of need that dismays him when he realizes that this day will be last to see Alice ever again.
There are a lot of things about Alice that makes her unique. She is the first person that he has divulged his secret to. As a matter of fact, she is the only girl that he gives a damn for. There is something about her cheerfulness that is hard to ignore, and her bubbly disposition that is infectious.
She is also the very first person to regard him as a human being. Others view him as a malicious and recalcitrant monster who cannot control his own self. Yet, she has been affectionate toward him from the start, and thus, he has developed an undeniable interest for her in return.
Alice begins to whimper, and for a second, it seems as though she is going to retreat as though the sight of him has a hostile effect. However, her eyes overflow with tears, and she winces tentatively as if unsure if she is allowed to run up to him.
Subsequently, Alois closes the distance and cups her face in his hands as he squats down. At his touch, her lower lip quivers, and she bites down on it hard in a conscious effort to eschew from sobbing. His fingers brush against her cheeks to wipe the tears, and she raises her hand to put it over his.
"Are you ok?" he asks softly.
She bobs her head once, and her wavering voice rasps out a "yes" although they both know fully well that it is a lie. Alice closes her eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath as if trying to calm herself.
"...I'll miss you, Alice," Alois murmurs, and it surprises even himself how sincere he is.
At this, Alice falters in a stunned manner, and then without warning, she lunges into his arms. The sobs she has attempted to swallow down ignite, and she practically collapses against him as if depleted of energy. His cutie begins to cry his name over and over again, and he hugs her tightly.
Melancholy, Patty observes from afar, and the exhaustion within her aggrandizes. She is much too old to be watching her pumpkin, who is virtually her daughter, be so crestfallen like this. What ever happened to retirement being peaceful and tranquilizing? How can Patty rest with ease now? She has planned that in a few more years, Alice would have been wedded to Alois, and the latter would have taken care of her. But now that he is getting married to someone else, and Ciel has officially terminated the sibling bond, who can Alice rely on?
Certainly, it cannot be Patty. She is growing more and more tired and drained by the second as if her legs are about to give out. Normally, she would have castigate Ciel for acting so irrationally and Alois for being so shameful, but it is as if her own words have lost its exceptional vigor, and they remain latched in the heart of her throat.
For who would listen to an old woman like her? If this younger generation cannot aid itself, then what would become of this world if she is to die? The reason why she has insisted that Alice is to travel here is so that she can get a nice home and family. Patty feels it in her bones that she will debilitate terribly at her own pace. Alice cannot continue to live as an apprentice to a meager farmer such as Patty. She is an intelligent girl who needs a proper education and, most importantly, a safe and secure environment filled with people that cares for her. And here this was, an opportunity for Alice to experience the love and warmth of an actual family.
But even that extraordinary chance is shattered when that fool Benjamin strolled into the picture.
Ciel looks attentively at the clock, and the precise moment that the fifteen minutes granted is up, he advances into Alice's bedroom. He perceives his little sister—Alice weeping against Alois, and the sight distresses him. Nonetheless, he expunges the hindering emotion, and clears his throat to deliver the announcement, "Trancy, it is time to go."
The both of them stiffen, but it is Alice who has reacted faster, and she clings onto Alois stubbornly. "N-no!"
Ciel sibilates at Alois in a threatening manner to remind him of his extravagant debt. Alois glares at him in return, but purses his lips together as if to proclaim that he understands. Alois turns to Alice, and whispers into her ear, "I'm sorry." He attempts to withdraw from the embrace, but she begins to spout things that send waves of anguish to wash over him.
"Alois, please..." she begs. "Please... don't leave me. I don't want to live without you."
The acute affliction torments his heart, and he hugs her for several moments before his arms push her aside as roughly as possible. He then stands up and heads toward the door, grinding his jaws together to suppress the fervor within him.
Although shoved, Alice hastily rushes after him, but the impetuous motion signals for dizziness, and she trips over her own foot to land on the floor. Seeing Alois' back, desperation claws up her throat, and she reaches for him.
"Alois!"
Patty looks away, feeling tears sting her eyes at the unbearable perception of her little pumpkin distraught and pleading. Ciel averts his gaze as well as guilt churns in his belly, inciting for nausea to wound him.
Alois rolls up his hands into fists and snatches his luggage off the ground before running out of the room. Alice shrieks out his name and tries to chase after, but Sebastian stops her, as ordered by Ciel. She begins to thrash furiously against the butler's hold, kicking and screaming and crying, but to no avail. After a few minutes of struggling with all of her might, she hears the carriage from outside taking off, and she goes limp.
Evening sets in, and Ciel is in his study. About ten hours have elapsed since Alois departed from the manor. A mass of people are probably orchestrating the decorations for the marriage and such at the moment, and he should have met his future wife by now to socialize with her and her family before the marriage commences tomorrow.
Ciel half-smirks, but with no traces of humor, when he conjectures how bewildered they must be once they get to know that psychotic Trancy. Irrefutably, they will harbor numerous of doubts, but this marriage is much too significant to annul.
It surprises him how this situation exemplifies irony for how if this did not happen, in a few years, there is a strong prospect with Alice being the bride instead of the noblesse. And if Ciel was her actual brother, he, of course, would not favor Alois being his brother-in-law. Even so, the Queen has mentioned something reasonably fair before, and that is that Ciel is much more tolerant of Alois, compared to most. Admittedly, he does possess a high capacity at forbearing from destroying Alois. Due to that, the Queen notes that it would not have been an entirely horrendous thing if Alois does somehow marry, or by Ciel's standards it would be more precise to say 'weasel', his way into the Phantomhive family. Ciel has stayed silent then, but now that he is contemplating in solitude, she does have a point—although Ciel will never declare so aloud.
A knock on his door snags him out of his daze, and he murmurs, "Come in."
The door slowly opens, and it reveals Alice, much to his wonderment. She has donned on a coat, and her disheveled red hair is tied into a ponytail. He is unable to read her expression for she is looking at the ground.
"S-sorry for disturbing you, but this will only take a minute." Her voice is soft and barely audible.
"All right." He wishes to tell her that it is no bother at all, but fails to deliver the proper words. He glances at the chair across from him meaningfully, but she shakes her head in refusal.
"I'll be quick." Alice pulls at the sleeves of her coats as she deliberates to piece together the right words. "Bro—..." She winces slightly and corrects herself, "M-mister... I just wanted to tell you... thank you... for everything. Thank you for letting me have the wonderful chance at being your little sister... Th-thank you for caring for me and for lookin' out for me."
A lump forms in Ciel's throat, and it becomes arid and parched.
"W-without you, I would have still wandered 'round that village, watchin' the other kids with envy as they have their older siblings to take care of 'em. You showed me the kindness of a family, and I'm really, really grateful to have had you. I don't think you know this but you are a great older brother. And I... I don't tell you it enough but I love you very much even if you hate me. You will always be the big bro that I admire."
Alice bows humbly and stumbles back a few steps. "Th-thank you... so much for puttin' up with my childishness. I'm sorry. But now, this will be the last time. I won't bother you no more."
She lifts her eyes to gaze into her brother's identical ones that portray the resplendent color of sapphire.
"I'm leavin' with my father tonight."