'Cause I'm addicted, I'm needy, I'm lost without you. I need you. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saves a wretch like me? I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see. . .

-Amazing Because it is, The Almost

I was able to reach the cabin in two days. When I walked in there were still no signs of Jake. I wandered though the rooms. Empty. Where could he have gone? I guess I got what I wished for. I no longer had to choose between the two men. I never thought Chris could deceive me the way he did, and when Jake disappears he becomes a ghost. Without any help, technology, or idea, there was no way for me to track him down. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

Damn it. Why do I have to be so broken? I walk out to the Hummer and rummage through the glove-compartment to find Chris' pistol. I grab the weapon and check it. Thankfully it was loaded, I had to protect myself somehow, the only problem being I couldn't stay here, and I couldn't keep driving around in Chris' car. He was surely coming for me. I sighed. Not knowing what to do, I wander into the bedroom and lie on the bed. I was so tired. Is Jake even looking for me? Does he think I've been kidnapped? Is he worried? I sigh. How could Chris lie to me like that? Was it all for my benefit or his? He went all out to deceive me, got to give him an A for effort though.

I begin to feel numb. Curling up, I bring the pillow that smells like Jake close to my chest, breathing it in. The handgun close by. My eyes start to fall shut and I slip off to sleep.

I jolt up from hearing footsteps in the cabin. I quickly grab the gun, aiming at the door as it swings open. I pull the trigger, but nothing happens.

"It might help if you turned the safety off. What the hell did I train you for?"

Jake stood there looking grumpy as ever. I sigh in relief, putting the gun down. So many feelings and thoughts start to rush over me. I jumped off the bed and threw my arms around him. I actually missed him.

"You didn't try to sell me did you," I ask, my face buried between his neck and shoulder.

"Sell you? I thought you were fuckin' kidnapped. I went to Chris' to try and find you, but no one was there. I could fuckin' kill him."

I back off.

"Why did you come back here?"

I look deep into those striking blue eyes.

"Somethin' told me you were here. I saw the Hummer and thought it was Chris, that stupid motherfu-"

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"What happened," he finishes.

"I woke up and you weren't here. Chris showed me these papers with all this evidence on you trying to sell me to some scientist."

"And you believed him?"

He shook his head.

"I didn't think he would lie to me."

Jake is chewing the inside of his cheek. I'm not sure if it was to stop him from saying something or if it was out of annoyance.

"I overheard him on the phone with his sister, and then I stole his car."

He laughs.

"You're learnin' bad habits."

I smile.

"What are we going to do?"

I look down at my hands.

He exhales deeply.

"Well, we both know that the big guy is gonna come bustin' through the front door with the intent to kill, and I know you don't want me hurtin' him. So I don't know, Puppy. What do you want?"

What did I want? That was a good question.

"I guess I would have to speak to him. As long as I am here with you he will be concerned, but he's going to have to learn to deal with it, although I am not sure how far he will go."

I knew what Chris was capable of. He would kill Jake if given the opportunity. I am sure Jake would do the same.

"All this damn drama. . ."

He shakes his head.

"We have time to think. I took his transportation after all, and he isn't dumb enough to come here in a BSAA issued vehicle."

I shrug, trying to look on the bright side.

"Now you know damn well he is already on his way over here."

He was right. Chris would do absolutely anything.

"Can I use your phone," I ask.

He quirks an eyebrow, but hands it over. I dial Chris' number.

"Hello?"

He was obviously driving and very agitated.

"Chris, I need you to listen to me. I am sorry things had to be this way, but you have to understand that being with you is too dangerous. Please just think for a minute. I know you don't like the idea of me being in Jake's custody, but he is the best option for me. At least until you figure stuff out on your end."

He stays quiet for a moment.

"I can't stand the thought of him touching you."

"You're wasting your time thinking about what Jake and I are doing and not enough on how to bring me back home safely."

He sighs.

"Piers, I love you."

The words were like a kick to the gut. All the air from my lungs felt like it had been squeezed out.

The whole time Jake is standing in front of me, the look on his face was solemn. I must admit that what I was saying sounded like I was just using him, when that wasn't the case.

"I-I love you too, Chris."

As the words fall from my lips, Jake walks out the room. I hear the bathroom door slam and lock. I shut my eyes.

"but I can't forgive you for lying to me and putting me in danger. I think it's best if you just stayed your distance."

". . .ok. . ."

He hangs up. It hurt, like my heart was being ripped in two directions, now to fix things with Jake.

Knocking on the door, I call his name.

"What," he answers. His voice lacked that kindness that I was getting used to.

"I know how all that sounded, but . . ."

The door flies open, almost knocking me over.

"I get it ok? You don't have to explain shit!"

"Jake, will you please calm down?"

"I am calm!"

"It's not like how you think."

"Then what, Puppy? 'Cause it sure sounds like you're just stringin' me along until you can be back in those big hulkin' arms. That as of right now I'm just a convenient replacement."

"It's not like that! Please just hear me out!"

Those blue eyes lock onto mine.

"I'll be that guy for as long as you need, and I'll be that guy when you don't. I actually have feelin's for you, and I feel like a fuckin' idiot. . ."

I cut off his words with a kiss.

"I have feelings for you too, but you have to understand that Chris and I have history. None of that will go away, but that doesn't mean I don't have room for you in my future."

He kisses me softly, and I melt. He lays me down in bed and we make love. Actually make love. All our previous romps were fucks, but this, this was different. The pace was slow and sensual as opposed to fast and angry. The thrusts from his hips were still powerful, but not as harsh, and he held me. Sure we would cuddle after fucking each other's brains out, but never during the act. Could Jake actually love me? Was that what he meant?

I never thought that I could be with anyone other than Chris, but spending this time with Jake had me questioning my loyalties. Not to mention the incident with Chris' lying. That will be something I could never fully understand. Sighing as I roll over to put my arm around the sleeping man, I snuggle in close. The smell of leather, bonfire, and apples fill my nostril as I breathe him in, my heart begins to flutter. A smile tugs at the corners of my lips, never in a million years, not in my wildest dreams would I imagine to feel this way about Jake Muller. I couldn't stop staring at him, his long eyelashes, and that scar.

His eyes begin to slowly open, and they meet my gaze.

"What are you doin', Pup," he asks.

I swear his tired voice was the sexiest, I could just listen to him talk for hours.

"Just thinking," I answer with a swoon.

A smirk appears on his pink lips.

"You're bein' weird, go to bed."

"I can't sleep."

A frown replaces his signature smirk. I watch as he gets up from the bed and disappear from the room. I fight the urge to follow him, knowing it will only irritate him, so I impatiently wait for his return. Within a couple minutes he reappears with a mug in hand.

"Here, I made you some tea. It has chamomile, so it'll help you sleep."

Jake was thoughtful and kind when he wanted to be, it was moments like this that always caught me off guard. I was so grateful to receive this treatment from the mercenary. Taking the mug, I blow on the hot liquid before taking a tiny sip. He had sweetened it perfectly with honey. I smile.

"Thank you."

"Uh huh," he hums as he rolled over adjusting himself to get comfortable.

Despite what happened, I was fine. I thought I would have been more upset, but after having that talk with Chris and seeing the real Jake, I didn't shed another tear.

"You ok? I mean you aren't actin' right?"

His questions catch me off guard, I thought he was asleep. I almost choke on the tea.

"No, I am fine."

"I know you love Chris, and what he did was shitty. He never shoulda done that, but I know why he did it. I guess I am wonderin' if you understood where he was comin' from. "

I instantly felt pissed. What the hell was he going on about? I don't say a word.

"I'mma take that as a no."

He rolls over to face me, blue eyes locked onto mine.

"He loves you, and he's lost you once before. How do you think he feels knowin' that you're happy in the arms of another man? I mean just put yourself in his position for a minute. You know he wasn't lyin' to intentionally hurt you, no matter how selfish he was by doin' it, it was never to harm you."

His words hurt. I couldn't understand why he was telling me this.

"Why are you all of sudden sticking up for him? I thought that this is what you wanted?"

"I'm not stickin' up for him. I just want you to choose me for the right reasons. I know you said you had feelin's for me, but you love him and he feels the same for you. I guess I am questionin' my ability to stand up to that. I'm not very good at that kinda stuff."

"Jake, you're perfect."

"Well I guess I am pretty good, huh?"

I roll my eyes. His arrogance was once an annoyance, but now it was something I loved about him. I finish my tea and nuzzle up to him. He wraps an arm around me and places a sweet kiss on my forehead. We don't sleep. Instead we stay up the rest of the night talking about anything and everything. This was a different Jake, this was my Jake.