Tale of Sabaku no Kankuro
"Damn it, Gaara! Why must you always use Ike!?" Yes, indeed, the feared Sand Siblings were playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
"You're only saying that because I kick ass with him."
"I know! That's the problem!!"
"Er… guys?"
"What do you want Temari!?"
"When are you going to let me play?"
"When I'm damn done!"
Following this, in which Kankuro had his ass kicked by Gaara's Olimar, Kankuro was done. Not because he was done, however…
"That's it! Kankuro! Leave the room!"
"But I bought it! I waited in line for 5 hours! Why not kick Gaara out!?"
"…"
Gaara looked at Kankuro, and smiled. Kankuro vacated immediately.
"I'll leave, but you guys had better as hell not play through Story mode without me!" He slammed the door behind him.
"…So, Temari. Want to play story mode?"
"Of course."
…………………………………………………
"Damn ungrateful siblings kicking me out of our own damn room…"
Kankuro continued muttering this same statement for awhile, not paying attention to where he was going. When he finally snapped out of it, he had no clue where the hell he was.
"…Well… Maybe I should ask someone how to get back… I know! If anyone knows where the hotel is, it'll be the beautiful Emiko-chan!"
Mission: Find Emiko
"You there!" The blond man turned at the voice. "Do you know where I can find Emiko-chan!"
"Um… Io do noto understando thiso languageo ofo whicho youo speako, hmmm."
"Um…Deidara. You don't speak in Spanish if you just add 'o' to the end of every word."
"Shuto upo, Sasorio-Dono, hmm!"
Kankuro looked between the blond midget and the fat dwarf. "Hey! I know you! You killed my brother once!"
Deidara recoiled in pure fear. "Sasori! He can see the future, hmm! And canon! That's not allowed, hmm! Flee, un!" Deidara threw some clay in Kankuro's face.
……………………………………………………
Kankuro wiped the clay from his face. "That didn't go so well. But I'm sure the next guy will know!" He spotted a green-clad target. "Do you happen-"
"YOU! HAVE YOU SEEN MY UNYOUTHFUL STUDENT NEJI!"
"Um… the effeminate kid with white eyes?"
"YOU DO KNOW HIM!"
"Um…I think I saw him walk into the Hyuuga Compound."
"THANK YOU, YOUTHFUL SAND CAT!" Gai flashed away.
"…Youthful Sand Cat?"
…………………………………………….
Kankuro spied, with his little eye, a man with brown hair and white clothes.
The man bowed. "Hello, my good sir. Do you happen to know where I may find a girl?"
"Dating, huh? Well, my girlfriend Emiko(Denial) should know!"
"Really… mind if I tag along?"
"Why not. What's your name, anyway?"
"Tsuki. Yami Tsuki."
……………Meanwhile……………………..
Gaara and Temari were just sitting there playing the game.
"So…Gaara? How's… life?"
"The same as every day."
"That bad, huh?"
"…How have you been doing."
"Quite good, actually! I meet this awesome guy during the Chunin Preliminaries!"
"Really, what is his name?"
"…If I tell you, would you kill him?"
"…Yes."
……………………………………..
"She's really, really pretty! With long, flowing brown hair, and sparkling green eyes!"
"Really, my Cro-Magnon friend."
"What's cro-magnon mean?"
"…Really smart."
"Thanks! So… see anyone that could help us?"
"What about that guy?" Tsuki pointed at a man that bore a startling resemblance to Bruce Campbell.
"Hey, you! Where can-"
"I will swallow your soul!" The man suddenly looked demonic. Until his head was cut off with a chainsaw.
Another man, who looked exactly like Bruce Campbell, walked up, with a chainsaw for a hand, and a shotgun strapped to his back.
'HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!" The man ran away.
"…Tsuki, are you as freaked out as I am?"
"Yes."
……………………………………………
"Hey! Is that that Ryumura guy that was those weird kids' sensei?"
"Sexy Jutsu!"
Kankuro was out immediately.
"See, Kankuro? I didn't get a nosebleed because I'm older, more mature." Tsuki then passed out from a nose bleed.
………To Be Continued…...
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….Right Now…….
Gaara claimed victory over the dreaded Tabuu on Intense, causing him to get a little excited. His sand poured from the gourd, forming a giant hand in a thumbs-up position, a huge smile plastered on his face.
"…Gaara, since when could you do that?"
"Since I discovered that Kankuro is deathly afraid of Ronald McDonald, and learned how to make sand sculptures."
"…How did you find that out, exactly?"
………………………..
Unknown to Kankuro, if he had stayed in the hotel room, he would have gotten something he always wanted. To bond with Gaara. Fortunately, someone far less dangerous(or is that more?) and more deserving got that honor.
Gaara had a smile on his face. And not just his usual "I'm going to kill you because it's fun" smile.
"You don't remember his 4th birthday?"
"And weren't you only 3?"
"I know all. Ask me any question, about any person you can think of that's in Konoha."
Temari thought long and hard, of every ninja she had recently met. From Chouji to Ten Ten.
"I have something you'd never know. What's my bra size?"
Gaara leaned over and whispered into here ear.
"…"
"…"
"Nobody else does the laundry, Temari. Ask a different question."
…………………………..
To Be Continued…For Real This Time
Sorry for the shortness. I may have to put the Tales on hold for awhile, and actually go ahead to plot (don't worry, still going to have humor).