.

By mid morning, majority of students were in their exams so it was just Harry walking about the castle by himself. He had filled his bag with some notes that he wanted to read over and was currently heading outside, the sunshine too tempting to hide away from. He took his time wandering about, he didn't want to rush through things but he was also conscious of the fact he could bump into a number of people that he didn't want to talk to, Blaise was one of them, he remembered because he had just walked past someone's bag that had a Slytherin scarf hanging out of it.

Might just skip lunch, he thought suddenly when he passed the main doors. As attention seeking as it was, he had more chance of people seeing him at dinner than any other so they could get their introductions over and done with. He hadn't replied to the Slytherin's letter because he felt nothing for the teen now, he had had his chance at a friendship but he couldn't get over the fact that they wouldn't get together. It was bizarre but he didn't care, the boy had made his bed, much like Severus, so it was time to lay in it.

"'Arry?" He looked up ahead and raised a hand to wave at the game keeper, this was one person he didn't mind seeing again so he went over to have a chat, trying to shake off he sudden feeling of déjà vu.

"Hargid, good to see you again." He greeted and the man took him in for a giant hug, literal not figuratively.

"Same to yer, but Merlin wha' kind of trouble did yer get yaself inta'?" He asked and Harry cocked his head, it was obvious that the man hadn't been told.

He felt a little sorry for the giant, he seemed to miss out on all the information, didn't they think of his as an important member of staff? Perhaps not everyone was told about my… situation, he concluded and tried smiling to steer the conversation down a lighter path than the truth.

"Needed a change, Hagrid. It did me a great deal of good as well."

The man seemed happy for him, but then glanced around suspiciously before turning to Harry with a look that could only promise trouble. He was right, the man asked him if he would like a drink, and no it wasn't pumpkin juice served in the Great Hall at meal times. Harry smirked at this, he wouldn't turn down free alcohol, he just needed to make sure he didn't drink too much otherwise there was no way he could study and people were bound to find out if he was slurring his words. What a great way to confront Severus though, as tempting as the thought was he disregarded it and accepted a small amount from the Giant, their conversation flowing about creatures both light and dark.

It was good talking both trivially and seriously with the man, he really understood the depths of dark creatures and Harry found that he really admired them too. He hadn't had too much to do with them at Durmstrang and their knowledge only extended towards theory of the particularly aggressive and dark creatures Wizards could potentially face. It gave him a new perspective on the world. Now though, he glanced at the time and saw it was approaching lunch and he had told himself he wasn't going to attend.

"Well, Hagrid it's been good to catch up. I'll be staying with Ron for the first part of the summer so perhaps we'll get to see you there at some stage?"

"Tha' would be great 'Arry." The Giant agreed and patted him soundly on the back, opening the door for him to walk out.

He waved his friend off but instead of heading towards the castle he walked a few meters and changed direction, the lake coming into view so he went to sit at the waters edge to have some piece and quiet. He made sure Hagrid had walked off by this stage so he knew that he would be alone for now and it was quite peaceful, the waves lapping over the stones as he sat on a large boulder. It was still a relatively sunny day, the white clouds covering some of the sky by now but the heat was still coming down onto his skin. It was ridiculous how white he had become being in Bulgaria, the sun rarely shone over the school there and when it did it was still very cool.

"Right, memory block." He said to himself.

The notes he was reading from came straight from his Dark Arts textbook where he had added annotations and little pieces of information that he thought would be useful, currently he was reading a passage that said, think of an image or a scene, it seemed easy enough to do so he thought about something that would be appropriate. Create something terrifying or sickeningly love related, their Professor had said that it would depend on who was trying to penetrate your mind.

[… "I know you want this, Harry. Just give yourself to me so I can ram my cock in your ass."…]

Harry shuddered, even now as he read his notes, Viktor's voice sounded in his head bringing an unpleasant memory. This was something he wanted to forget, lock away and never remember again. Lock it away… The cupboard, the idea struck him and he quickly thought of the cupboard under the stairs, the one that he had been locked away in for a majority of his life until he was eleven years old. He closed his eyes, it was now time to sort through his memories, hiding them away in different objects of his room with the ones he didn't want people to find under the loose paneling that he had cracked one day when being thrown in. Perfect, he thought as he sat there through lunch.

"I wonder where he is, hope he's okay." Hermione said as she and Ron sat at the Gryffindor table after their first exam of the day, just one more that afternoon and they would be finished for the year.

"Not like he can get into trouble here now can he?" Ron replied as he shoveled food into his mouth.

"This is Harry Potter we are talking about." She sniffed and looked sideways when she saw a green and black robe coming into view.

"You haven't seen him have you? Only, Hermione is stressing over nothing." The red heads voice was dry and full of sarcasm which Hermione didn't appreciate.

"Seen who?" He asked confused, helping himself to lunch.

"Harry." They said in unison and his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"He's back? I haven't seen him, no." Blaise looked hopeful for a second before his face dropped and he pushed the food around on his plate.

"He got here last night, I thought you might have seen… Are you okay?" She asked carefully, noting his change in mood.

"He never replied to me is all." He said and Hermione was going to try explain through lying when she realized the real reason he hadn't replied and thought it best not to get involved, she did have her exam in a few minutes so he focus should have been on that.

"I'll mention we saw you." Her voice clipped making the Slytherin frown even further.

"You know why he left didn't you. Why was it? I think I have a right to – "

"Don't even finish that sentence. Focus on your last exam and then find him, we aren't getting involved in this." And with that Hermione stood and left the hall, Ron was going to follow her but he wasn't quite finished yet, luckily however, Blaise stood as well and left to sit with the other Slytherin's so he could eat in peace.

Hermione walked out of her last exam, stretching her back to get the kinks out before she settled in for a quiet night. Ron had disappeared somewhere so she was just by herself so when she bumped into Harry coming through the main entrance she waved and walked over to him.

"How does it feel?" He asked and she smiled, nodding and explaining how she thought she went.

"What have you been getting up to? Not causing trouble I hope." She tried humoring him and smiled a little and shaking his head.

"Fortunately no, no trouble but seeing as I'm technically not in a house I couldn't get points deducted anyway now could I?" He smiled a little more at saying this and it warmed the girls heart to see him settling in better.

"True, but I know you Harry. Anyway, I'm heading up to the common room, you coming?" She asked and he nodded.

"Oh by the way, Blaise was asking about you at lunch." She said carefully and it got Harrys attention.

"Okay I'll take the bait, what did he want?" His voice slightly cruel and cold but she shook it off before relaying to him what the Slytherin had said.

"Yeah because Malfoy had… I burnt it, I didn't want to reply." He conceded and Hermione looked outraged.

That's not very – "

"Look, I got it at the same time I got both of your letters… So you know, I didn't really feel like it." He took a deep breath, putting the impending image in his mind in the safe place so he didn't have to have a flash back.

"You got them at the same time? But I sent them a few days between?" Hermione sounded confused and Harry shrugged, some days you could rely on the post system and others you couldn't.

When they made it to the common room, it seemed as though there was a party starting up but Harry wasn't really all that interested. Ron came over and hauled them into a corner, whispering about the prospect of there being a bigger do after dinner so that no one would be caught drunk. Hermione voiced her disapproval for such things but Harry couldn't really seem the harm in it, Hogwarts exams were over so as far as he was concerned the party should go on all night. The question was however, was there alcohol?

"Of course there will be. Fred and George have covered that for me. Why do you think I've hidden my trunk for the term?"

Harry frowned, of course he hadn't been here so he didn't know and Hermione was a girl so she hadn't known either. The red head tutted at them, accusing them of having no faith in his abilities, it almost made Harry laugh, almost. After this, he excused himself and tucked himself away in the dorm, he needed to put his notes away and when he did he caught sight of the bangle. It was sitting at the top, which was odd because he hadn't put it there before he left the dorm room for the day. Frowning he picked it up and sat on the edge of his bed, all the while thinking, how bad could it be? His thoughts answered when a female voice spoke from the doorway.

"I don't even think he knows you're here. I would have seen him watching us during meals." Hermione said coming in and sitting next to him.

"He'll be there at dinner, won't he?" Harry asked almost nervously and she nodded, it was going to be a large feast to celebrate the final exam and to give out House cup.

"You have to go." She commented pointedly and he nodded after a conceded sigh.

"Well, shall we then? I don't fancy sitting right up the front." Harry offered and she couldn't help but agree for his sake.

Unfortunately, by the time they wrangled everyone together it was later than they expected. Harry tried to remain positive about the situation but he was starting to feel sick again, his heart drumming away in his chest and his palms getting clammy. This is childish, get a grip, he chastised himself as they descended the stairs, inching their way closer to the great Hall. He looked straight a head of him, he was at the back of the group and Ron turned around to see if he was still with them, with a nod exchanged between them both he continued on with the rest of them leaving Harry to step in by himself. He needed to face this, he needed certain key people to see him to show he wasn't dead… He couldn't look weak, which is exactly what I probably look like, he took in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before exhaling, the large doors only feet away.

"Harry?" He stopped dead in his tracks at the familiar male voice and his eyes cast down to the ground as he tried composing himself.

"I thought by now, you would have come to see me if you've been here for a day already." He didn't dare turn round, he didn't want to focus on this, he needed to get into the hall and sit down with his friends, he needed to –

"You even listening?" Blaise asked irritated as he came into view and Harry eyed him carefully.

"Apologies, it's been a lot to take in. It's… good to see you." It was forced, his response, and it seemed the Slytherin could hear it in his voice so he huffed, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know why you bothered then." He snapped and then walked into the Great Hall, the volume loud and boisterous as everyone excited for exams to be over.

The interaction with Blaise left him feeling dissatisfied and irritated, if that's the attitude I get then fine, he thought and before he realized it a curse that was on the tip of his tongue slipped out and aimed straight for the teen. He was visibly distraught at the sudden action but Harry just stood there as he watch the boy fall to his knees, his hands on his throat as if he were gasping for air. This scene made Harry, not happy exactly, but contented and when his gaze met Blaise's panicked eyes he smirked ever so slightly, the deed was done and the teen was silenced. However his pleasure was short lived when some students came past and tried helping the Slytherin up, it was time to lift the curse and pretend like nothing happened, so he did just that.

With his mind occupied with the recent incident he walked confidently into the hall, his eyes falling on the Gryffindor table as he searched for his friends and found them closer to the front than anything which annoyed him to no end. He kept his eyes trained on Hermione but when he heard an undignified yell from the corridor that sounded a lot like Blaise he growled under his breath and lowered his eyes to the floor. His dark thoughts were returning and there was a loud crack of thunder before lightening followed in the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall that caused a few students of gasp or shriek in fright.

Glancing up, Harry frowned before taking a deep breath, he had no doubt that his aura was the culprit of the sudden change in atmosphere and he could almost feel his magic prickling around his core as it fought against the positive energy of the school. He didn't stop though and continued to where Hermione and Ron were seated along the Gryffindor table, his friends watching intently and worried as Harry approached with tense shoulders; three Professors sitting at the head table also watching with interest.

"Thought you weren't coming." Hermione said quietly as he went to stand beside her where the free space was.

He didn't answer her however, he just grunted and stood there his attention taken by the movement up at the head table. When he looked up, his eyes instinctively went to the one place where he hoped no one would be, unfortunately this time he wasn't so lucky and his eyes latched on to narrowed dark brown eyes that belonged to one, Severus Snape, Potion's Professor and ex-lover to one, Harry Potter. At the moment their eyes locked, his breath was suddenly caught in his lungs and he had a mind to believe his own curse had been turned upon him when he realized that he was the only one who knew the incantation.

Everything around Harry seemed to fade into nothing, the loud chatter from the students around him ceased to be noticed, all other eyes in the room who he could tell were watching him didn't matter because he had caught the only pair in the room that mattered. He remembered why he'd wanted to melt into those eyes, why he have craved the man's touch and the way he worshiped his body. Seemingly all the hatred he'd harbored for the man fell away and his bare sole was exposed for him to see. It felt like he was looking back into the past because this man hadn't changed, he still looked the same, except for the eyes, they seemed tired and stressed as well as over worked and worried.

Harry blinked, thinking his own eyes were deceiving him when he felt a tug on his wrist and the female voice associated with it called out his name effectively snapping him out of his trance. He adverted his eyes in that moment, not that he wanted to mind, and looked at the place setting on front of him. He didn't want to make a scene but he had the sneaking feeling a lot of people had just witnessed this and the dread started to creep into his stomach. His appetite gone.

"What happened to you, I thought you were right behind me?" Hermione whispered but he shook his head, he needed to think about what just happened, analyze the situation and the feelings associated with it.

Harry didn't dare look up from his plate once he had sat down, he could feel a certain pair of eyes boring holes into the side of his head but he wasn't going to retaliate by looking back. It just so happened that not long after all this occurred, the Headmaster stood and announced the beginning of the final feast. If Harry was honest with himself, he didn't really care about all that, he didn't even care that Slytherin had won the Quidditch cup for the year.

"Another year, gone," Dumbledore began and the hall went silent, "I can appreciate you all must be feeling exhausted after all your hard work with exams. I can safely say that I'm proud of each and everyone of you to see how much effort went into the year so well done." He paused when there was a brief moment of applause before continuing.

"Now, time to move on to what you are all eager to hear, the House cup," There was another round of applause and the old Wizard got out a small piece of parchment, "In fourth place, with three hundred and sixty two points, Hufflepuff. In third place, Gryffindor, with four hundred and thirty seven points. In second place, Ravenclaw with four hundred and ninety nine points, which leaves Slytherin with five hundred and twenty one points. Well done Slytherin and well done everyone." There was a louder applause this time that lasted longer as well.

"The time has now come to feast. Begin." Dumbledore said with a flourish and a bounty of food appeared in front of them.

Harry subconsciously licked his lips, this is what he missed among other things, the mouthwatering food and the feasts were something else here. So without further delay he helped himself to a small portion, he didn't think his stomach would be able to stomach something too heavy, not with the way he was feeling currently so he started off small. It only took him about two minutes to finish the helping on his plate when he pushed it away with his cutlery neatly placed on top to signal he'd finished, he just wasn't very hungry in the end. However once he pushed his plate away he felt the gaze again from the side and this time he turned his head, with everyone focusing on the food in front of them Harry had a clear path from where he was sitting to look directly at Severus and the man did not look happy.

He was secretly glad he didn't have the bracelet on; this would have been a situation where he would have had many messages sent to him outlining how little he had eaten. The hard look he was given soon turned into something else and Harry was sure the longer he looked at the man that there was worry or concern etched into the crows feet developing on Severus's pale face. Eventually he had to look away, he could tell there was a glance in his direction from the Headmaster who was sitting right next to Severus and he didn't want anything to look suspicious.

"Please eat something else." Hermione whispered to him and he looked over to her plate, letting her know he'd heard her.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not hungry." He murmured before turning back to his own empty plate, waiting for the others to finish.

Severus was reeling from the scene in front of him and the one thought that was going through his mind was, why wasn't I told? Of course deep down he knew the Headmaster wouldn't have said anything to him but it made seeing Harry all that more painful, not only did it look like Harry had been through the ringer but he looked mentally drained. He wasn't surprised of course, the last few weeks would have been hell for him and it hurt that he couldn't be there for the teen. He had just been thinking about approaching the boy when he heard the Headmaster whispering in hushed tones beside him, you are not to seek him out, you do not speak to him, he sighed and nodded anyway. He wasn't going to go out of his way and find Harry, what did they think he would do, go and storm Gryffindor Tower? If that's even where he was residing, though he had no doubt that's where he was staying, Albus would have been a fool to have him stay anywhere else.

When the ceiling had changed and scared the children that was when he knew Harry was most certainly in trouble, he hadn't seen a reaction to a Witch of Wizard quite like it in a very long time, that person also led a dark path. He didn't even need to look to his right to feel the tension radiating of the Headmaster and the Deputy, he didn't think that the boy would do anything stupid, not in front of so many people who undoubtedly were wondering where he had disappeared to all of a sudden.

Harry was looking at him again now, his eyes jaded and troubled matching his dark aura that he carried around with him. Severus wanted to comfort the teen, speak to him and get him to open up so let the light back into his soul. He wondered briefly where he would be staying over the summer as he couldn't see him staying at the castle like he had the previous summer, nor would they be residing at Spinners End for the summer either, well not until he turned of Wizarding age. It was a sure thing that when Harry was of age he would be on his own, the Guardianship role taken on by the Headmaster would finish, perhaps he was going to stay with his Wealsey friend or even the book worm.

Now he was watching as Harry stood from his friends, leaving them to finish off their dinner and he couldn't help but feel irritated that had hardly touched his food. He was malnourished, skinny and ghost like as if any moment he could crumble into a pile of bones where he was walking. No, this will no do, he thought bitterly and was going to rise from his seat when he stopped himself knowing full well what it would look like. Instead he poured himself some more wine and threw half of the goblet back before turning back to his now cold food. His observations of Harry had put him off his meal.

As for Harry he was now wandering the castle in his Anigamus form, he didn't go back to the common room as he knew it would be filled with rowdy teenagers wanting to celebrate their impending freedom into the summer. He wished he could feel that free and clear but he couldn't shake the depressing feeling that he always carried with him now. The darkness was sucking out the light inside him, as drastic as it sounded but he couldn't hide away from it anymore because Durmstrang had changed him.

Severus made it back to his quarters after the feast and immediately he sought out his alcohol cabinet and poured himself a healthy glassful, chucking it back to feel the burn on his throat. No, this won't do, he thought sadly to himself before throwing himself down at his desk to mark all the examination papers, he hated this beyond anything over the course of the year but now he had actual test papers to mark, not assessing brewing capabilities like he had in the past. He supposed he deserved this though, after all he had done, karma as some people called it and it was biting him hard.

He was so engrossed in his marking that a few hours later, with his head nearly connecting with the table in exhaustion, he was startled by the portrait clearing his throat and seeking attention.

"Master, Severus." His voice strained and it made the Potion's Master sit up straight and get some fresh ink for the tip of his quill.

"Yes." He replied, not turning around.

"That infernal cat has been pacing the length of this corridor for the past hour, please shoo him away before he starts attacking my frame again."

At this Severus stopped and dropped the quill, a cat, Harry's Animagus form is a cat, his heart started to race and it wasn't from the lack of sleep. Harry was outside and wanting to see him? He wasn't sure but he was going to clarify before he went to the portrait.

"A cat you say?" He queried, turning in his seat to look at the man in the portrait.

"Yes, the same one that used to come in here earlier in the year. My frame was damaged enough the last time he came snooping around." The portrait sneered before leaving the room to guard the front entrance.

Severus stood and walked over to the door but stopped two feet away from it just staring at the back of the portrait. He was in two minds as to what he should do, there Harry was outside his quarters when no doubt the Headmaster would have warned him about seeking him out as Severus had had just before in the Great Hall. I have to see if he's all right, Dumbledore cannot neglect the state of any occupants within the castle, I will help him, feed him and calm him. Nothing… that would compromise the old fools position… He needs me, the war raged on in his head for a few minutes before the guilt and the pain was too much to bare. He placed a firm hand on the back of the portrait and took a deep breath in, trying to calm his nerves and ragged heart beat when finally he pushed the door open and peered out into the corridor.

He looked up and down the corridor but he couldn't see anything, there was no one there. He frowned, the disappointment almost crushing and he let his hand drop to his side.

He was just about to go back inside when he heard a muffled mewl from his left. He froze where he was, unmoving and his gaze firmly fixed on the floor by his shoes, it was hard to believe that Harry would be here, after everything, but he was finally here, ready to come back to him so there was a little hope left within that they could see each other again. His eyes widened a fraction when a little grey cat walked up to him, his tail between his legs and ears flattened against the top of his head. Vibrant jade eyes connected with his own and he felt himself let out a breath that up until this point he had no idea he had held in.

Doing something daring, he slowly bent down, his knee cracking loudly in the quiet corridor as he lowered himself so he was crouching in front of Harry. Well he hoped it was Harry, the actions were not typical of a normal cat but there was no collar around it's neck so he was only assuming it was his green eyed beauty who was sitting in front of him, tail curling around his front paws as they looked at each other.

What do I do? Severus asked himself, he was going to reach out, his fingers itching to stroke the grey fur when he stopped and turned his head down the corridor when he heard what he thought to be footsteps.

"You shouldn't be – " Severus stopped when he looked back to where the cat had been sitting to find an empty spot, Harry had disappeared.

He stood up at that point and tried looking the other way down the corridor to find nothing moving, so he put his hand on the side of the door, stepping backward so he could close it. When it clicked shut, he let his head lightly thump on the wood, his hands going either side of his head.

"Oh, Harry." He sighed loudly, he had very much liked to have fed the boy, he was too skinny or even given him a hug to ensure he was okay.

Meow.

Severus thought he was hearing things and slowly he pushed himself away from the door and turned around, his eyes immediately finding the grey cat perched on the back of his couch, watching him with his tail flicking from side to side. He swallowed, knowing the implications if someone were to come here and see the two of them, though if he was honest the only person that would be was the Headmaster or even Poppy with no doubt an alcohol filled student.

"Y-You shouldn't be here." His voice was shaky but the cat simply tilted its head to the side and in the silent room he heard a soft sigh.

The older Wizard watched as the cat turned and disappeared out of view, only for a very human looking Harry Potter to appear, his head hung standing in front of the fire facing him. His stomach lurched at the sight of the boy, he looked so broken, like the last time he had been in here but he didn't know what he would do right now that would make the teen feel better. So he just stood looking at the boy, they stood like this for a while both seemingly holding their breath as time passed. Eventually however, Harry spoke although his voice was hoarse.

"I know I shouldn't be here… But I – " He looked up and connected his gaze with the man on the other side of the room, "Couldn't stop thinking about… Coming to see you."

"Likewise, Harry… H-How are you?" He knew it was a stupid question but one he thought would diffuse the tension in the room.

"Fine… I guess." Harry replied but didn't elaborate.

"Why aren't you with the rest of Gryffindor?" He wondered, his curiosity had piqued, the boy hadn't seen his friends for half the year yet here he was in Severus's private quarters.

"They don't need someone like me bringing down the mood." Was the delayed reply and Severus frowned at the answer.

He didn't want to push the boy into anything at this stage but he dared to step further towards him so he could properly look him over, see the damage his lacking diet had caused but when he took one step he saw the widening eyes so he stopped. Perhaps it wasn't going to be the warm reunion he had imagined it would be after all, the though deflating his mood further and he had to look away. He turned towards the exams he still had to mark, which actually wasn't all that many he had to do, so he went over to his desk and sat down. He didn't want Harry to feel cornered, he felt that the Durmstrang Professor who had pushed himself onto the teen had done this so it was up to him as to what he wanted to do. He hoped it would involve staying in the room with him but he wasn't holding his breath.

No words were said after this action and Severus assumed he was going to leave, however he was soon proven wrong when something brushed up against his leg and he looked down at the floor to see the grey form of Harry's Animagus sitting there looking at him. Pushing his chair back a little so he could stand he soon found his lap briefly occupied by said cat before it jumped up onto the table and into a far corner where there were no papers. It was clear what he wanted to do so with a sympathetic look, Severus pulled his chair back in and continued to mark as the grey ball of fur curled into a corner and watched.