Hey everyone! Once again, a big thank you to all of you for your continued support -you are truly amazing. Well, this is the next instalment; read, enjoy, rewiev! ;)
Regina couldn't do it.
She had been staring at the bloody turnover for more than fifteen minutes now and she couldn't do it.
Weak, weak, weak a persistent voice kept repeating in her head. She was so pathetically weak.
Manipulating Jefferson had proven as easy as planned; dangling a future happiness with his daughter was the only incentive he had needed. How predictable. A spin of his hat and she had been able to grasp the cursed apple that should have been Snow White's end. It would be her daughter's.
So why was she unable to move from her kitchen?
She unconsciously reached for her pocket, a gesture she had done countless times over the years whenever she needed comfort. She jolted out of her thoughts with a start when she found only emptiness. Gone, the ring was gone.
Daniel…
The name was agony in her mind. She had given the last she had of him up, for one blasted apple. The symbol of their love, thrown into a tattered old hat so that she could have her son and her revenge.
And yet she stood unmoving.
She had backed the pastry in a frenzy, refusing to think about what it was that she was going to do exactly. Emma Swan deserved it, she had burst into her life unbidden and, when offered the chance of a partnership of sorts, had betrayed her without a second thought. She deserved to spend an eternity with her deepest regrets, the sweet taste of apple and cinnamon on her lying lips.
The turnover appeared to be mocking her from where it lay on the pristine counter top.
Her anger still boiled inside of her, but conflicting voices had risen. She had a dreadful feeling that she wouldn't be able to keep her involvement from the affair secret and that everything would be lost.
A ridiculous notion.
Yet faces floated before her –a devastated Henry, Roland's hurt expression when he found out what kind of monster she truly was, Robin…Robin, looking at her with loathing and anger, disgusted by the mere sight of her.
Regina shuddered, the air suddenly terribly cold around her. Her nightmare from the previous night played in her mind again. She could feel the bark of her apple tree press against her back as angry citizens tightened the ropes binding her. Bile rose in her throat as she recalled her pleas being thrown back at her by her victorious, uncaring son as all her enemies watched her demise in glee. She remembered the chill that had come over her when she the crowd had parted to let through the man that had brought such warmth into her life. Except he wasn't the Robin she knew; his eyes were hard, his face an ugly grimace as he sneered at her, taunting her as he told her how foolish she was to believe that he cared for her, an error of nature. She deserved nothing more than what she was getting. She woke up screaming just as the arrow he released was about to pierce her heart –a painful reminder of her barely avoided execution.
She didn't know what to do anymore. Her time spent with Robin and his son had brought out feelings in her she believed to be long extinguished. How could she betray her first love that way? She wasn't supposed to fall for another. Her True Love was dead because of Snow White, she had dedicated her life to avenging the happiness they should have shared and now this. She had replaced him, her traitorous heart falling victim to the machinations of Fate, causing her to drown into eyes as pure as the sun lit sky. She was despicable, she couldn't believe she was stabbing Daniel in the back that way; just how more unworthy could she prove herself to be?
She never learned. Daniel's loss had caused her the most pain she had ever felt –she still felt. It had been the start of what had led her down a path she had vowed never to follow, performing more horrors than she could truly stomach without wishing to claw her skin off. And now she loved again. She had foolishly let her guard down, she had let Robin in and she was going to pay the price for her vulnerability.
Love is weakness.
And yet she wanted to be more, for Henry, for Robin, for Roland -however ludicrous the notion. She was the Evil Queen with no chance at redemption. Why should she not punish Miss Swan? Why should she choose to be good when her actions always came back to bite her? It would be so easy –she would drop by for some inconsequential town business and offer her the pastry as a token of their newly formed 'relationship'. This world's technology wouldn't detect anything suspicious in the turnover, she wouldn't be troubled in the slightest and Henry would finally be hers. It was a simply as that.
So why did it seem unconceivable to actually pack the damn thing in a tupperware and drive other to the loft right now?
She hated herself for hesitating; she hated herself for considering such a horrible act; she hated herself for not having definitively dealt with the blonde before. She hated, she hated, she hated.
It appeared she might love more.
With an angry cry of frustration on her lips, Regina raised her arm to swat the plate from before her and froze when the doorbell rang. Running her hands through her hair as she made her way to the door, she unnecessarily straightened her clothes before turning the handle. And regretted it immediately.
"Robin," she said flatly, pushing down the fluttery feeling that had erupted in her stomach or the uncomfortable constriction in the area of her heart. He seemed to have been pacing on her porch if his half turned position was anything to go by. His face was drawn as if he hadn't got much sleep and his blue eyes flitted anxiously across her face.
"Regina," he greeted rather breathlessly. "Are you alright?" he asked, a slightly frantic edge colouring his tone.
She frowned. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You stormed out of the meeting yesterday, and you haven't been answering my calls, or my texts. What happened? Did I do something wrong, is that why you're avoiding me? If that's the case I am truly sorry Regina, although I'm not sure what I've done." Robin was aware he sounded like a flustered idiot rambling on for no good reason but he was unable to stop. He was therefore very grateful when she interrupted him.
"I wasn't aware I had to keep you appraised of my every move," Regina said, irritation leaking into her voice. The last two days had been the cause of far too many emotions for her taste, and she definitively did not want a conversation with the man she had feelings –she thought of the word with disgust- for. Not when she had a poisoned turnover she had to deal with, not when she felt everything slipping through her fingers. Actually, all things considered, she did not a conversation with him. Ever. Him and her…them… it would never work. She'd made sure of that before, she had to make sure of it again.
"I…I didn't mean it that way," he answered, not understanding where the attack was coming from. Regina kept pushing –away, he had to go away.
"I don't know what expectations you have of me, but I believe I have a right to my privacy and you definitively have no right to demand anything of me."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Robin exclaimed, bewilderment written across his face as his temper started to flare as well. "Regina, I am only here to express my concern for you! You always answer when I call, and we haven't not had a conversation in the evening for weeks!"
"It appears you're going to have to get used to a new routine. Now", she added, ignoring the pang of loss that ran through her –it would hurt less now than later, she had to believe that- "if you would please get off my porch, I have…"
The sound of a plate breaking interrupted her. Regina's head snapped in the direction of the kitchen and then she was rushing towards it, dread and fear filling her up to the point where her hands were already shaking when her eyes fell upon the unmoving form surrounded by shattered porcelain.
"Henry!" Her scream seemed to echo around the mansion. Falling to her knees, Regina clung to her son, her trembling hands alternating between caressing his face and running down his chest as if checking for injuries, but she knew. She knew what had happened, had known since she had heard the commotion, the sound of breaking a counterpart of that of her own heart.
She was unaware of the frantic 'no's' she kept uttering as she desperately tried to wake her son from his comatose state, but Robin picking up Henry snapped her out of the trance-like state she had been in.
"Regina get up, we have to take him to the hospital." His voice was calm and commanding –exactly what she needed. Without further ado they both rushed out of the house and clambered into Robin's truck, Henry tucked in her arms as Robin broke every speed limit in his rush to get to the emergencies. Regina just stared at her child's face, her hand constantly combing through his hair, although it occasionally slid to his cheek to wipe away the moisture that fell from her to him.
She was grateful for Robin's silence –she couldn't have borne empty reassurances. Henry wasn't going to be alright. He was so young, and magic was unpredictable in this world. There was no telling what the outcome if this would be.
Her fault. It was all her fault.
She hadn't wanted to let go of him, but Robin had gently pried her fingers open so that the medical staff could take care of him. So now she stood stock still, her eyes unblinking as she stared through the glass into the room that held her baby boy's unresponsive body as doctors and nurses bustled around him. A crash sounded behind her and she turned around as an unmistakable panicked voice cried out.
"My son! Where's my son?"
Emma Swan. That was the last straw. Regina surged forward, yanking the blonde away from the glass panels and shoving her into the nearest supply closet she could find. The sheriff crashed ungracefully into the shelves and Regina slammed the door behind her before grabbing the stunned woman and shoving her against the opposing cabinets, her right arm crushing her windpipe.
"What are you doing?" the blonde squeaked, still too bewildered to fight back.
"You did this," Regina snarled, teeth bared inches away from the other woman's face. "This is all your fault."
"I…what the bloody hell are you talking about? Henry…"
"I should have killed you when I had the chance," Regina interrupted, not paying the slightest attention to what were undoubtedly pathetic excuses on the blonde's part.
"That's enough!" Emma showed back, using her superior physical strength to dislodge the mayor. Both women faced each other, anger and pain mingling on the brunette's face whereas the blonde still appeared completely confused. "Now will you please tell me what has happened to Henry!"
"My son is under a sleeping curse because of your greedy manipulations!"
Emma's eyes widened. "A what now? Manipulations? Regina, are you sure you're alright?"
And with that Regina was right in the other woman's face again, her features twisted in rage. "Of course I'm not alright you cretin! You try to take my son away from me and I have to resort to desperate measures to get you out of my life and protect my family. Except Henry ended up eating the poisoned turnover and it is all your fault!"
The last was a yell, and Emma appeared to be trying to process the load of information that was being dumped on her. She wasn't coping very well if her next question was anything to go by.
"What do you mean I tried to take Henry away from you? We've been getting on just fine lately."
"Don't play dumb with me Miss Swan," Regina sneered, still in her face. "You were careless enough to put a custodial rights paper in one of your sheriff folders, I know you have been looking for ways to become Henry's legal guardian over me."
"Custodial rights? But…" The blonde appeared completely stunned at that moment. "Regina, I swear to you that paper wasn't mine. I've never seen such a thing in my life!"
Regina took a step back, peering into the other woman's face. She couldn't detect any sign of duplicity in the features, only sincerity reflected in wide green eyes. Thoughts started to run amok in her mind, trying to understand who would want to hurt her, who knew exactly which buttons to push to make her act as rashly as she had.
"Gold," she whispered in sudden understanding, thinking back to the day of that fateful meeting. He had sat right next to her then, it wouldn't have been hard to slip something in the pile of folders she always neatly stacked in front of her. She knew he wanted the curse broken for reasons of his own, she could only imagine that he hoped she would lash out and kill the saviour, effectively ending her enchantment.
If Regina expected Emma to ask why she had reached that conclusion, she was mistaken as the blonde appeared to have moved on to a more important topic.
"Hang on, you tried to kill me?" She seemed to be slightly hurt by that new piece of information. Regina rolled her eyes.
"Relax, dear. I found out that I wasn't able to go through with it."
"So Henry ate the turnover instead? What were you thinking?!"
"I meant to throw it away but I was interrupted! He must have thought I laid it out for him as a snack…" Her voice trailed off as she racked her hands through her hair. She had been irresponsible. If only she had put the damn pastry away before opening the door! Regina felt that she was losing it, she was fighting to hold back tears –there was no way she was going to cry in front of the other woman. Emma seemed to notice her distress though.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I know you would never intentionally hurt Henry. But... that means you know which poison he took! You have to tell the doctors, they'll know how to save him and…"
"Miss Swan!" Regina exclaimed, cutting off the woman's hopeful rant. "Did you not hear me when I said it was a sleeping curse?"
Emma looked at her blankly before saying slowly, "Sleeping curse? As in Snow White and the apple and…wait? Are you actually telling me that the stories Henry has been talking about… it's real?"
"Yes." Regina watched as a myriad of emotions played across the blonde's face. Disbelief, shock, anger, comprehension. She hadn't admitted to the reality of the curse in twenty-eight years; it had been a truth she had actively denied for nearly a year now and she had simply let the secret out, to the saviour of all people.
She didn't care anymore. She felt numb, utterly exhausted, her only coherent thought now was the knowledge that her son was in the other room fighting for his life.
"What do we do?" The question brought her back to reality. Emma was looking at her, determination plastered across her features. "From the look on your face I'm guessing you can't just walk in there and magically cure Henry or we wouldn't be having this conversation. So how do we help him?"
She had to give it to the blonde, she reacted well in stressful situations. Regina suddenly felt some of the weight shift from her shoulders to the woman's. Maybe they could save her…their son together.
"We need help. Only one other person knows about the curse and that is…"
"Gold." The name was spoken in a mixture of disgust and wariness. It appeared Emma also had her reservation about dealing with the imp.
"Actually," Regina said, her brown eyes locking with green as she felt dread chill her bones, "he goes by Rumpelstiltskin."
When they walked out of the storage unit, the first thing they saw was Robin waiting for them a few feet away. Regina would never be able to completely explain what compelled her to do it. Maybe it was the concern etched across his face. Maybe it was the longing in his eyes to reassure her. Maybe it was the pent up emotions that had been coursing through her for days that needed to be released, one way or another. Anyhow, a certainty made itself known in her mind and she knew it was now or never.
It was the worst timing possible. She was off with her nemesis' daughter, who also happened to be her undoing, to save her son by bargaining with the twisted man who was the cause of this mess in the first place. She had no time to lose, no time to give in to distractions. But she needed something, anything, to ground her and bring her out of the pit of misery she had fallen in. Just once she though as she strode purposefully to Robin, just once, I need to know what it feels like.
It looked like Robin was about to talk, but she didn't give him the chance to say whatever it was he wanted to say. Grabbing him by the lapels of his shirt, she crashed his mouth to hers.
She could tell he was surprised: he stumbled into her, his lips nearly sliding from hers but she refused to let go. He quickly got his wits back though, and soon he had a hand tangled in her hair as the other pressed into her lower back, bringing her flush against him.
It was unfair, really, how right it felt. Regina had to suppress a moan when he deepened the kiss, his lips eager and passionate as they caressed hers. Her skin tingled under the gentle scratches form his stubble. Warmth seemed to seep from him to her, pushing away the darkness that constantly surrounded her. It was as if the sun had appeared after hiding from behind a bundle of black clouds.
She clung tighter to him, trying to imprint the feeling of his body against hers into her mind. She wanted, needed to remember everything. The sparks that erupted wherever he touched her; the way his scent –pine, and nature after it had rained- washed over her, overriding her senses; the way a raging fire was travelling through her veins. It was as if everything that was him was woven into the fabric of who she was and they just fit.
He tasted of laughter and fresh air. He tasted of comfort and home. He tasted like every dream she had ever had.
He tasted like heartbreak.
They broke apart, gasping for air. Her eyes found his and he stole her breath away. She had never seen them so dark, and the hunger in them was unmistakeable. She knew hers were the same, and tears welled up to smother the lights that flickered in her gaze. Lifting a trembling hand, she gently placed it upon his face.
"I'm sorry," she whispered brokenly before letting her hand drop. Unable to look at him any longer, she spun and her heels and walked to where Emma stood, willing herself not to look back. The blonde was staring at her with a stunned expression upon her face. Regina rushed past her, down the stairs and out of the hospital. Her heart was trying to beat out of her chest, screaming at her to go back in there and cling to Robin and never let go. She pushed the feelings down, crushing them mercilessly as she struggled to get herself under control.
She had been a fool, thinking kissing him would help. And what had possessed her to do it now, there, in front of everyone? A fool, she was a complete fool.
Well if the despair and pain that clawed at her soul were anything to go by, she was paying the price for her impulsiveness already.
"He doesn't know, does he?"
Emma's voice made her jump as the blonde appeared at her shoulder. Regina turned her head, ready to snap at the woman, when she saw the compassion and understanding stirring in those green eyes.
"No, he doesn't," she answered flatly. "Now come on. We have work to do."
The bell in the pawn shop jingled as the door was forcefully opened.
"Rumpelstiltskin!" Regina bellowed in the dark empty room, the blonde sheriff moving in behind her. The man in question appeared from the back room of the store, his cane rhythmically resounding on the wooden flooring.
"My, my, who do we have here? A Queen and a Saviour? It would appear the cat is out of the bag, your Majesty."
"Don't call me that." Regina glowered at him. "You know perfectly well that I never wanted that title." She ignored the surprised look Emma gave her, her attention focused on the man who couldn't even be bothered to hide the malicious twinkle in his eyes.
"You still prefer Madam Mayor, do you? Sorry to disappoint you dearie, but it would seem you won't be holding on to that title for much longer if my predictions are correct. I do believe torches and pitch forks are on the way."
"Ah, yes, your 'predictions'. Or should we maybe call them your revolting little schemes?" The brunette advanced menacingly, only stopping when her upper thighs touched the glass counter. "I know it was you who put the custodial rights paper in that folder. You knew I would find it. You knew that I would go after Miss Swan."
"I am sure I have no idea whatsoever what it…" Gold started to say but Regina talked right over him, her voice rising to cover his.
"It's your fault that I retrieved the poisoned apple. It is your fault that my son is now under a sleeping curse, fighting for survival!"
Gold's eyes widened slightly at the new piece of information. A small smile appeared on his lips.
"I have to say, that was quite an impressive plan. Almost worthy of me." His tone was patronizing as he regarded his former student. "Although it seems you skipped the lesson about collateral damage, dearie."
He never saw it coming.
Regina backhandedly slapped him and would have lunged at him over the counter had the sheriff not grabbed her from behind, holding back her arms to restrain her. Gold quickly regained his balance and lifted a hand to the corner of his lip, wiping the drop of blood that had appeared.
"Not exactly ladylike behaviour, dearie. Tsk tsk tsk, what would your mother say?"
Regina couldn't form words, she was too enraged. She was still struggling to free herself from Emma's hold, her eyes fixed upon the man she wanted to reduce to pulp.
"Would you look at that," Gold marvelled quietly, leaning slightly to peer more closely at her "I haven't seen that glint of madness in your eyes for quite some time, your Majesty. Twenty-eight years, I think it has been."
Regina let out a soft laugh, finally stopping her struggle with the blonde and straightening her posture, her voice dangerously sweet.
"You think you are such a genius, don't you Rumple? You manipulate people for your own benefit, weaving lives into whatever patterns suits you. Yet you forget one crucial detail." She was once more leaning over the counter, her face mere inches from his unflinching one. "You may have destroyed countless lives, you may even have physically tortured and murdered people. But I know you. You don't like to get your hands dirty, you are far more comfortable with staying behind the scenes. That is not my case. I have fought in wars, I have led armies into battle and I have so much blood on my hands they will never be clean. Much like you. But I don't hide behind smoke screens, because unlike you I am no coward."
The last statement was practically spat in his face. Gold opened his mouth to argue but Regina wasn't finished.
"If my son dies, I will come after you. I don't care if they execute me in the middle of town square, because before that I will have destroyed you. You may be the Dark One but your dagger is not enough to protect you from my wrath. If my son dies, Rumple, what will be left of you won't be enough to fill a chipped tea cup."
"That's enough!" The cry came from a very agitated and aggravated Emma Swan. Putting her hand on the brunette's shoulder she dragged her back. "Regina, get a hold of yourself. Now is not the time for death threats." Regina glared at her but held her tongue –the blonde had a point. "And you," Emma continued, turning to Gold, "stop being such an ass. We need your help."
"Indeed you do." His voice took an almost dreamy tone. "True Love, Miss Swan. The only magic powerful enough to transcend realms and break any curse. Luckily for you, I happened to have bottled some."
"You did?" Regina's voice was raspy, her throat suddenly tight. If that bottled fell into the wrong hands, there was no foretelling the repercussions.
"Oh yes," Gold answered, immensely proud with himself. "With strands of your parents' hair," he continued, pointing his finger at the blonde, "I have made the most powerful potion in all the realms. So powerful that when I created the Dark Curse, I put a little drop of it on the parchment." A smug smile tugged at his lips. "A little safety valve."
Realisation dawned on both Emma and Regina. "That why I'm the Saviour," said the sheriff. "That's why I can break the curse."
Regina suppressed the urge to slap the manipulative little imp again.
"Now you get it."
"Well I don't care about breaking the curse, all I want is to save Henry."
"Luckily for you, I didn't use all of the potion. I saved some, for a rainy day."
"It's storming like a bitch, so stop beating around the bush." Regina was gratified to see that the other woman was also losing her temper with the man. "Where is the potion?"
Another satisfied smile graced Gold's face. "The problem isn't where it is, dearie. It's how to retrieve it. And for that, you're going to need this."
He pulled out a long rectangular case from under the counter, popping the lid open to reveal a glistening sword.
She couldn't believe he had deceived her. Again.
Regina had been too absorbed in listening to the sounds coming from the cavern beneath her feet where Emma was fighting the dragon to notice his footsteps. Her head was still smarting from the clubbing he had given her with his cane. She tried to scream at Emma that it was imperative that she didn't give him the potion but her muffled cries didn't carry far enough for the woman to hear her. She could have cried in frustration as she listened to Gold spinning his usual tales of lies as he manipulated the blonde into giving him what he wanted.
"He tricked you," she said in anguish as soon as Emma had painfully torn off the tape sealing her mouth. "How could you give it to him," she continued angrily, rage fuelling her. "I'm going to kill him."
"Come on, " said Emma, "he can't be far."
That's when both their phones rang.
The drive to the hospital was both the shortest and longest in Regina's life. She refused to believe what the nurse's urgent and defeated voice had already told. It just couldn't be true.
Both women ran to Henry's room as fast as they, uncaring for the people they pushed out of their way as they hurried to discover a scene that punched them right in the gut.
Unlike the blonde, Regina couldn't go into the room. She looked through the glass panels at the pale form that was her son. All other sounds disappeared as her whole world became the noise of Henry's heart monitor.
His unbipping heart monitor.
Her soul was being shred to pieces. She didn't know whether to rip her own heart out of her chest or if she should just take a gun to her head.
She had failed her son. It was her job to protect him and she had let him down in the most definite of ways. It wasn't supposed to be like this, she was the one who had to die first.
Gone, gone, gone. The word echoed endlessly in the emptiness that she had become. Her whole life had come to an end for the second time in her existence, and she knew that there was no coming back from the unbearable pain that was searing through her.
Tears blurring her vision, she shakily made her way towards the bed where Emma was already quietly crying over the corpse of the baby boy. Her legs gave out, and she would have crumbled to the floor if strong arms hadn't caught her.
She sobbed hysterically into Robin chest, trying desperately to anchor herself to a thread of sanity as he stroked her back soothingly, his cheek pressed atop her head.
And then a gust of magical wind which she had only experienced once in her life rushed through her, and she heard a gasp erupt from the hospital bed.
It was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.
She saw Henry smile up at Emma. "I love you too," the boy said. "You saved me."
"You did it," Regina whispered in awe, relief coursing through her with such power it made her feel dizzy. Alive, Henry was alive.
She was practically delirious with happiness and it was only when Emma asked what was going on that she noticed that people had gathered in the room, shocked and confused expressions adorning their faces.
"I think you broke the curse," Henry said, pride and wonder lacing his voice.
"No, no, no!" exclaimed Regina, dread suddenly knotting her stomach again as fear coursed through her.
"If I were you, your Majesty, I'd find some place to hide," Mother Superior said. Only she held centuries of wisdom in her eyes as she looked at Regina, steel replacing the meekness that had been in her gaze for so long.
"Henry," Regina whispered brokenly as she went to him. She had lost him. At least he's alive. I would pay any price as long as he breaths. "No matter what you think," she said desperately as tears welled up in her eyes, "no matter what anyone tells you, I do love you."
He didn't respond, and that was another, if expected, dagger to her heart. She backed towards the door, unable to peel her eyes from him until the very last moment. As she rushed out of the room, she brushed against a tattooed arm and she felt the weight of clear blue eyes long after she had disappeared out of sight.