Definately not over yet! :) Got a few chapters to go here, and I finally started that Gilmore Girls story. Anyway, I hope ya'll are still around. Please do review if you're liking it, so I'll know, too, if anyone would be interested the third installment i'm tentatively planning.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and have a good weekend! Thanks so much!

Chapter 13

When Dean eventually let go Sam did too, reluctantly, and realized that Bobby had finally come closer—waiting over Dean's shoulder as he stared.

"So...Dean wasn't pullin' my leg," he said quietly.

Sam smiled sheepishly. "Not at all." In seconds Dean was all but pushed aside as Bobby pulled him into a brief but tight embrace. He quickly let go again and composed himself, but he was smiling, and the there were tears there even if they refused to budge from his eyes.

"It's good to see you," the older hunter swallowed.

Dean smirked and clapped a hand on his brother's arm. "You look good, too. A considerable improvement over last time we saw you, thank god."

"That's what heaven's for, I guess."

Thunder rumbled above them, and the remnants of the clouds began trickling a drizzle of water. Dean scowled and glanced up. "We should probably get inside."

It took a little re-explaining, to make certain Bobby understood what was going on, but Sam didn't mind. He was just glad to be on Earth again.

Well...he was glad to be with Dean and Bobby. Earth wasn't so great on its own. But that didn't matter.

"So what do you remember, exactly?" Dean asked eventually. "I've heard so much about the limitations of the physical human mind I want to throw up, so...anyway, what'd you come away with, anyhow? You can't remember everything both ways either, can you?"

He'd been expecting the question, and he'd been trying to formulate an answer. Sam and Dean were sunk into the couch in the living room—much closer than their egos would have allowed them to sit at any time he'd previously been alive—and Bobby was perched on a chair he'd pulled out from his desk nearby.

"It's a little complicated..." Sam trailed.

"Figures..."

He shrugged. "No, I can't remember everything both ways, and I don't, but I don't remember everything the same way you do."

He remembered that in a way it had been hard to choose, but in the end it had been no contest.

"So what do you remember, then?"

"I remember everything the way it was the first time, until Cas helped me go back and change it. You know what happened there."

Dean grimaced, not really wanting to remember Cold Oak any more than Sam did. "Yeah."

Sam let out a breath. "So yeah...I remember going back, leaving once you'd made up your mind, and...going to heaven from there. I only remember the time up there from the point I went back from on—a little less that a year, I guess, and even that's fuzzy. I'm human, and heaven is so different, so..."

"So you can't really tell us much about it," Bobby gathered.

"Right."

Dean snorted. "Guess that figures, too." He glanced at his brother more hesitantly this time. "What about, uh..."

"I remember coming to talk to you, and I remember everything that happened with Lilith," he said quietly.

"Damnit..."

"Like I said, everything from the point I came from I remember. It's only heaven itself that's fuzzy—kind of...paraphrased in my head, I guess you could say. The only things I don't remember are what happened those first twenty-one months I was gone—everything that has two versions. I can only have one version of those memories while I'm human."

Dean frowned in confusion. "Then why...?"

"Everything that's happening now wouldn't make much sense to me if I only remembered being dead the past three years. It's all right; I know what's happened down here in the past several months or so that I remember of being up there, so I know plenty enough to get what's going on this time around. Besides..." He shrugged, looking at the floor for a moment. "I didn't want to forget the last couple of years we had the first time."

He felt his brother's eyes on him, and after a moment looked up again. Dean and Bobby were just looking at him.

After a moment Dean swallowed and clapped him on the back. "Hey, that's cool. I mean, if you remember you can tell us about it, right?"

Sam smiled. "I could. You'll remember too, though—you know, on the other side."

Dean grinned in return. "Yeah, but this way I don't have to wait." He raised an eyebrow. "Unless you're not gonna tell me."

"I'm not sure how much of it you'd want to hear," he winced.

"Come on; it couldn't have been that bad or you wouldn't want to remember."

He opened his mouth and closed it again, thinking again before he answered. Finally he smiled again, an image of Dean belting out Bon Jovi in the Impala flashing in his memory. "Yeah...it wasn't all bad."

It would be a little strange, being here with Dean when Dean didn't have those twenty-one months of memories...but he could deal with that. What he didn't think he could deal with was not having them himself. Maybe he wouldn't know exactly what he was missing, but he hadn't been lying—nothing would make much sense without them. Dean didn't have that disadvantage.

Dean was still smiling back, happier than than Sam had seen him a long time—or seen personally, anyway. He was pretty sure he'd been that happy a few days ago when he'd gotten engaged.

He wondered when Dean was going to mention that.

Bobby was grinning a little too, but they both stared at him when his stomach rumbled loudly. Sam glanced down.

"Right...I need food now, don't I?" he smirked.

Bobby chuckled and got up to head for the kitchen. "Let's get you something to eat. It's almost time for breakfast, anyway."

Dean slapped him upside the back of his head as the brothers stood to follow.

"What the hell was that for!" Sam protested.

"Three years on the other side and you're still a dork."

"Thanks a lot, Dean. You're giving me real confidence in the whole leave-heaven-to-be-with-my-brother decision."

"Hey, you knew what you were getting into. Me means the whole package."

"Would you boys pipe down for a second?" Bobby called. "Sam, what do you want? As far as breakfast food goes I guess I've got just about everything..."

Even after the time, Dean was still able to answer on top of him, echoing Sam's requests, maybe just to prove he still remembered his brother's favorites. Sam couldn't help but grin again.

It was all there. The whole situation was more than strange, but strange they were used to. Even with the lost time and the difference in memories, the foundation was all there. Dean was still Dean, and Sam was reasonably sure he was still himself—maybe even more himself than what he'd become by the time Castiel had helped him go back to fix it all.

The foundation and all of the old pieces were there—along with a few new ones. Maybe it would take a little time to get it right, but all they had to do was re-build it.

That was something Sam was sure they could do.

It hadn't gotten any less strange or become any less of a wonder three or more hours later, when breakfast had been slowly made and leisurely eaten. Bobby hadn't had any more thoughts of going to bed than Dean did, but the older hunter had fallen asleep in an ancient armchair in the living room where they'd moved back after eating, and Sam and Dean were left to clean up the kitchen.

That didn't bother Dean like it would have in any other instance. It kept Sam right there, almost never even out of arms' reach, always within' sight.

It was real. He was here.

He was alive.

Sam was here, and he was washing the damn dishes like he'd never left.

Finally normal just seemed too normal, and once the rest of the leftovers were wrapped and put away Dean tried to grab the plate Sam was scrubbing from his hands.

"Come on, put that down. You just got back; you shouldn't have to do the annoying stuff."

Sam shrugged, refusing to let Dean take it. "It doesn't seem so annoying to me. It's almost kind of fun."

"Washing dishes?" he scoffed.

Sam smiled. "I've been in heaven, Dean. There's no need to do anything like this. So it's...real, I guess. It makes being here seem more real, and I guess I need that right now. I know how it sounds, but just humor he, okay?"

Dean watched him for a moment. "Okay." To be honest, it helped him the same way. He grabbed a hand towel and started to dry the dishes Sam set in the dish drainer, stacking them up on the counter to be put away as soon as he reached a stopping point.

It took a while, but finally he manage to pose the next question that had been on his mind about of this.

"Sam?"

"Yeah, Dean?"

He hesitated. "Mom...and Dad..."

"I saw them there," Sam filled in uncertainly, not knowing what his brother wanted. "Everyone was there."

"So I guess they're doing okay then."

"It's heaven."

"Right, and...they can see what's going on down here?"

Sam was still washing the pan in front of him, but he was listening. "That too."

He took a deep breath. "So I guess you know what happened before you uh...got here. Or did you?"

His brother seemed to suddenly be smothering a grin. "Yeah, I know."

Dean let out the breath. "Thank god; It's still too weird to say out loud too often."

Sam laughed and stopped, letting the pan rest in the soapy water in the sink and turning to his brother. "What, that you're getting married?"

"Yeah...that one..."

"What are you talking about? That's great."

"Everybody says that, but you of all people have to know it's just a weird concept to think about when it comes to me."

Sam shrugged and leaned on the counter. "Maybe it is a little...different, I guess, for you, but I've seen you with the Braedens, Dean. I know you can make it work; you love them both."

He sighed. "That doesn't mean nothing will go wrong."

"Something can always go wrong, Dean. Welcome to Earth."

"Hey, that should be my line right now."

Sam smiled a little, and for a long moment they just looked at each other, neither of them saying a word. The damn tears that had been attacking Dean outside came back, but he refused to let them free this time, either. He wasn't a friggin' girl; only girls cried over the happy stuff.

Right?

"It's really good to have you back," he said finally, and smirked to diffuse the awkwardness of the emotion. "You have no idea." To avoid his brother's gaze he turned and started in on putting away the dishes that had already been dried.

"So uh...you're okay with this whole me-getting-married thing?" he asked eventually.

Sam had slowly gone back to washing the pan in the sink. "I'm more than fine with it as long as you're sure. I want you to be happy. You have to stop worrying about it; it'll be fine."

That was certainly possible, of course. It was just that it was hard to believe that after all the crap over the years. Sam knew that.

"I know, I know..." Dean trailed off. "Hey, you're real now; you've got another chance at all this now, too," he realized suddenly. The thought was comforting—Sam being able to have a family. He'd always thought that if either of them really deserved that, is was Sam.

Sam had just set the pan in the dish drainer, and paused in reaching for another plate. Slowly his arm dropped again and his hands braced on the edge of the counter, and the frown on his face was disconcerting.

"Sam?"

Damnit. Had he already said something wrong? Barely six or seven hours and he'd screwed something up. Wasn't that just peachy?

"Sam?" he asked more anxiously.

His brother let out a breath, but he didn't look up. "Dean...I'm here for you. Not for that."

Dean stared, swallowing at the pang in his chest. "What the hell does that mean?"

Sam didn't quite look at him, but he turned toward him a little more. "It means that I love Jessica, and she's waiting for me."

"But...you're gonna have a whole life down here before you end up in heaven again, if I have anything to say about it. Doesn't she want you to be happy?"

"Of course she does; and being here with you and Bobby and doing the job again, seeing you get married and have a family...that's all I need. I will be happy. I am happy."

That should have made him feel better, and maybe later he would accept it. Maybe Sam was right, and he just didn't understand...but right now it didn't help much at all. The ache in his chest didn't ease.

Sam was alive, and Dean wanted him to have everything.

"But you—"

Sam seemed to anticipate what he was going to say. "That was before I died."

Dean had to blink again, because this time the stinging in his eyes had nothing to do with happiness. "Sammy...you had her up there. Damnit, I never would have wanted you to give up something like that just to freakin' keep me company..."

Of course, having Sam here was much more than that, but...

His brother finally looked at him.

"Dean, it's okay. Life is about give and take, I guess. Maybe I have to wait again, but in exchange for that I get to be here for you—for the family you'll have. And in the long run, when we've been there for a few thousand years, a few more decades here and not with Jessica isn't going to mean much. I have eternity to be with her."

Dean pulled a face. "I just...I don't want you to be here if you don't want to be." It hurt to say it, because he would give anything to keep Sam here...

But on the other leaf, he loved his brother more than anything, and he wouldn't keep him here if it meant keeping him miserable. He was sure it would break his heart into irreparable pieces if he had to let go one more time, but he would do it for Sam.

Sam's eyebrows went up. "Don't think that. I don't want you to ever think that. Of course I want to be here."

"You're sure?" He knew Sam loved him. They weren't the type to say it, but he knew it. Still, it didn't stop Dean from wondering if Sam would really be happy down here. He knew he should trust his brother, accept it, but still he worried.

Part of it was because he cared, and maybe the rest was, again, because of all the crap from the past.

"Of course I'm sure," Sam answered earnestly. He grimaced sheepishly, almost apologetically. "Sorry...I guess one thing I did take away from being dead was a better understanding of time...how short it is. Maybe being human will make it seem longer while I'm here, but thirty or forty or fifty years really isn't that long compared to eternity. I promise you I'll be fine."

It all made sense. It all made perfect sense, if thought about from the right perspective. The uneasiness was still there, but maybe time would help that.

He should be focusing on the good things here, Dean thought as his brother gave him a reassuring smile. It was believable enough, and he smiled back.

Sam was alive.

They could worry about the rest later.

As crazy as it seemed, Sam was alive, and Dean was getting married in a few days. For now, that was more than enough.