As the mornings come with their usual groans and moans from the aching girl on the haystack, it was weird to wake up to complete silence.
Negan darts up from his seat across the barn, dropping a pan full of water with a loud clang. It wakes him up somewhat, but the noise causes him to rub the bridge of his nose as a pang of pain goes through his forehead. There are streaks of light shining into the barn, highlighting all the flying dust in the atmosphere.
He looks around sleepily, thinking back and trying to pinpoint when he fell asleep. It couldn't have been long ago.
Segments of last night's conversation with Maddie pop up in chronological order, making his heart sink. Immediately, his eyes go to the haystack.
Ironically, the light shines onto the straw from a crack in the doors, as if to create a spotlight. The irony is that she is not there.
Negan trips up on his heavy boots as he stumbles towards the haystacks. His heart starts to beat loudly against his chest.
She is not there.
Her blanket and other necessities are left on the cold, rock floor, vacated and lonely.
Negan looks at the belt wrapped around a wooden plank, attached to nothing. He wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans, unwillingly going into survival mode. He pulls out his pocket knife, scanning the barn for any movement.
When he sees, and hears nothing, he decides to call out her name.
She calls back with a scratchy voice, "I'm here."
Sharply, he turns to the barn doors, watching as Maddie leans against one of them. She has her usual attire: stained white t-shirt coming down to her thighs. Due to the sun behind her body, her silhouette makes it look like a dress.
Negan tucks away his knife, feeling his heartbeat return to normal.
"I peed outside," she states, groggily pointing behind her.
Negan shakes his head, closing the gap between them, "You need rest. You shouldn't be wandering around."
But deep down, he's relieved that she did. It means she is getting better.
Madison squeals when he picks her up without any warning, carrying her back to the hay, "I can walk, Negan."
"I know you can, darlin'."
The next few days are easy. They pass by like the apocalypse did not happen at all, probably because Negan does not have to worry about all the extra weight that had him hauling paranoia like an ass.
Maddie starts to consume small amounts of food. She starts to hold everything herself. She even gets dressed into her jeans and shirt, but claims that her skin is too gross to be wearing something as clean as that.
"We can go back to the lake?" she suggests, poking into the can of beans with a spoon, "Where else can we get clean?"
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," Negan murmurs, taking a seat beside her, "The water is cold. You could get fucking sick again."
"So you expect me to be a fucking tramp forever?"
"Language," he scolds, taking a bite from a roasted squirrel. He doesn't know what caused him to start acting like her parent, and she surely does not appreciate it.
"What?" she snaps, "Now I can't curse?"
"I don't expect such filthy words to come out from such a delicate mouth," he smirks.
"Are you shitting me? Is this a prank?"
"Eat your beans."
They vacate the barn shortly afterwards, grabbing all things necessary with them. Maddie looks at the doors as they walk away, feeling empty and stupid. It was never going to be a home, but she felt safe. How long will it be before that happens again?
She catches up to Negan and playfully punches his arm. He smirks in return.
"That scarf is starting to look good on you," he points.
Maddie loosens it around her neck, "What… do you want it back or something?"
"Fuck, keep it," he says, "Do you like it?"
"Yes," she answers with a smile, taking it off anyway, "But it's yours. And it suits you better."
They find a lonely gas station a few days later, taking up the whole day to loot it. Negan walks by all the shelves, lazily sweeping his hand along the dust. Maddie hangs back by the doors where the feminine hygiene section peeks out at them. She grabs all the pads and tampons, making sure to hide them at the bottom of her bag.
"What's that?" Negan asks.
"Nothing," she answers quickly. Having a talk like that with him is not something that sits well with her. So, she chooses to ignore the topic all together.
There is a loud clang behind her that she is sure is enough to lure a herd in their direction. She turns around with raised eyebrows, knife at the ready. Negan is crouching by one of the shelves, clutching his head.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," his voice is strained. He gets up slowly, pulling his bag with him.
Maddie smirks, clumsiness being one of the least occurring traits she would have expected from him, "Did you find anything?"
"A tub of Pringles."
Her eyes light up, "Are you serious?"
He nods, "Yeah, but who knows how old they are?"
"Who cares?" she meets him in the middle of the building, placing one hand on the tall can, "Do you want to share them?"
Negan smiles with his teeth, chuckling, "How about tonight after dinner?"
She nods in excitement, "Yeah, of course."
Pringles were her favourite kind of snack before the apocalypse and she would get excited every time her mother would bring a tub home along with her weekly shopping. However, finding a treasure like that in the apocalypse is almost too good to be true. They are probably mouldy. Yet, her mouth still salivates with the memories of the taste.
Negan tucks the tub into his bag, scratching the back of his head, "Where do you want to haul up, doll?"
It doesn't take them long to find an abandoned car on the side of the road. It doesn't work, of course. But the doors are open and it can be used for shelter.
They build a campfire together and lean against the vehicle as they eat their dinner which consists of a can of beans and the leftovers from a rabbit. This is their last can of beans and even though the constant taste has left Maddie with barely any taste buds, she will miss them. It means they must hunt for more food.
She places her stuffed backpack by her side and lets the can of Pringles stay up between her and Negan, as if it is some kind of rare artefact that needs to be worshipped.
The man runs his tongue across his lips in the darkness, waiting on her.
"Should we check it's fucking safe to eat?"
Maddie nods hesitantly, grabbing the tube. She pops the lid off easily, losing it among the leaves on the floor. Won't need it anyway if they're going to eat them in one sitting. She grabs the edge of the paper seal, peeling it off as slowly as possible, waiting for the rotten smell to hit her.
"Come on, Maddie-girl, you're killing me," he murmurs.
Maddie smirks and pulls it off all the way. They exchange a quick look before she fits her small hand into the tube, lifting out a perfectly shaped Pringle. She puts it under her nose to smell it and moans in satisfaction.
"Oh, my God, they are not ruined."
"Jesus," Negan whispers, grabbing one for himself.
"Wait, stop!" she sits up. Negan gives her a questioning look, hand coming to a halt right in front of his mouth, "You can't just eat them like that."
"Then what the fuck do I do?"
"First you need to lick them," she explains, making him laugh.
"I need to lick them? It's food."
"It's so much better if you lick them first. You get all the flavour that way," she giggles. Negan takes a deep breath before nodding.
"Darlin', I can't lick them with you staring at me like that."
Maddie laughs, throwing her head back, "Are you shy? Why don't we do it at the same time?"
"Facing away from each other," he clarifies.
They move farther apart and sit back to back. He knows when she has tried it because her whole body relaxes against his and her head rests on his shoulder. She moans as if she just took an ecstasy pill. And then he feels her go completely stiff.
"Something wrong?" the girl stays silent until he turns to her, finally getting a glimpse of her face.
She smiles timidly, offering him the tub, "I mean… it's perfect, isn't it? Tonight."
"It's far from perfect," Negan jokes. She chuckles and nudges him gently.
"You know what I mean."
In her happiness, she starts to feel brazen and rests her head on top of his chest. Negan does not seem to mind. He cradles her, placing his chin on her head. For some time, she just feels him chewing on the snack. It makes her feel out of place. Mainly because he is a middle-aged man eating Pringles and she is casually cuddling with him.
She closes her eyes and pretends this is normal.
"You're not eating," he mutters, running a finger along her wrist.
"Thank you," she blurts out, changing the topic. Negan taps her back gently.
"For what, doll?"
"You know," she smirks, "Sticking with me… when I got sick."
He sighs deeply, squeezing her closer. She shivers at the proximity.
Wordlessly, he gestures to the tub of Pringles and she takes a handful, eating them one by one until her thirst for water returns.
That night they sleep in the car with the doors shut. Maddie takes the backseat where she can sprawl across the space without taking up too much of it. Negan reclines in the driver's seat, putting his hands behind his head. He glances at her in the mirror, flashing a toothy grin.
"What's on tomorrow's agenda?" he asks.
Maddie hums, rubbing at her eyes, "The usual, I guess."
"Sleep tight, princess."
"Stop calling me that," she growls, but he senses a laugh between her words.