Title: Smile Sidefic … Other Mind - Refraction
Author:
Arithion
Rating:
PGish
Genre:
Introspective…
Pairing: Tez/Fuji
Chapter:
Thirteenth
sidefic/drabble
to smile… Takes place during Smile Chapter 44
Summary:
Tez's mind throughout the course of Smile…
Warning: Um… kinda the argument and it's aftermath
Other Mind: Refraction
Light is refracted towards the normal if it passes into a dense medium and away from the normal if it passes into a less dense medium. The light, once entering the different medium is called an incident ray, whereas when the ray is bent it is called a refracted ray.
Rays of light have a way of dancing across a mirrored surface and making people pause. This is because they've been attracted by the rainbows of colours that dance across their vision, or else they've been blinded by the light reflected back at them.
The speed with which the refracted light will travel is directly related to its optical density. The thicker the density the more normal it becomes; the thinner the density, the harder it is to be judged by a norm.
Just as it is hard to judge a ray of light, so is it hard to judge Fuji when he really doesn't want you to know.
It's strange, because I wouldn't let myself get to this stage with anyone else. He tends to bring out the best in me, and at the same time the worst. My buttons seem to be labelled for him, and he knows just how to push me and prod me into exactly the position he wants me to be in.
Not that I can't do the same thing myself on occasion, but that's not the point. Usually, every word he says will be carefully thought out. He never makes a move without knowing the consequences, and always knows exactly what he can expect from any given situation. Not like Inui, and not like anyone else I've known, but he does it in his own way.
Those eyes are sharp, and there are times I think I have to watch myself for cuts, should I look too close. His words sting and his expression starts to close. It's something I thought we'd moved away from, but then, I suppose the circumstances have made him wary.
I can play ball as good as the next person, and in some cases, I'd be willing to admit I probably play better. But when words are the ball game, Fuji has most people beat. Sometimes I wonder how he finds himself underneath all the innuendo and hidden meaning.
Sometimes I wonder why I bother trying to pull him out.
It's not hard to remember why, although it would often be easier not to. Still, the things he says to me, the smile that covers his face; it feels like we've lost all the ground we'd gained.
When he smiles I know that I've lost this round. I don't think it was ever potentially mine to begin with. His jabs don't hurt. I'd have to be far too sensitive to be as close to him as I am and still let them affect me.
What does hurt though, is the way he leaves the room. The closing of that door feels final, like the shattering of a mirror into a million tiny pieces. I'm almost afraid to move for fear of cutting myself.
I watch him go and he doesn't look back, not that I expected him to, but the want was there. Although I know this isn't all me, I do realise that I've pushed him away without meaning to. There are few things I cannot take in stride, and despite what he's come to mean to me, this will be one of them.
In a couple of hours I'll be at school, and this afternoon I will play Echizen whether he likes it or not. Before then however, I will make it up to Fuji the only way I know how, and that is to be the density that refracts him.
~~**~~
Yay, well that was another drabble!
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