A/N: Meowser Clancy wrote most of this haha... Enjoy xx Mariah

Lana liked the arts. She drew and acted in school plays and ordinary grades, but there was one thing that was different about her. She was gay, well not totally gay, but almost. She liked both men and women.

Women more than men if we're being honest here.

She was average height and had a decent figure thanks to her mother, but she wasn't any different from the girl who sat next to her in Chemistry. She may have wide hips, and narrow shoulders, and her father's sharp jawline, but that didn't make her any different from the rest of the girls in her class. It didn't make her special; it was just a fact of life. Looks were just DNA; but oh god, Janine from the library made her weak in the knees, and it was all because of her facial structure.

School was the place for her to be. She was happy and enjoyed learning as much as the next person– the mornings usually were hard on her but as the day went on, she always learned how to move to the rhythm, and weave through the shark infested waters with ease; friendly to people she wanted to be friendly back, and she easily avoided those she didn't care for.

That was until she came out to Selena. She thought she could trust her, they'd been friends since third grade. But everything changed. Selena thought that meant she loved her, that she wanted to date or something which was not what Lana had meant at all.

She'd wanted her friend to know more about her, to finally know the real her and not the person she'd pretended to be. The person she still was, but wasn't. She didn't think her sexuality defined her...but she wanted to be able to tell Selena how she felt when she saw Kerry Washington acting onscreen. She wanted to be able to fangirl, to crush, to tell her friend how she felt; to be completely and fully honest with one of the most important people in her life.

"What, like you like girls?" Selena had said, screwing up her face.

"Yeah," Lana admitted, biting her lip. "I like guys. But girls too."

She'd thought it was okay; she could tell that Selena was a bit uncomfortable but she could deal with that. They'd work past it.

Or not.

Selena had left then, giving some excuse about her mother wanting her home early.

And the next morning Selena had texted to say that she didn't feel comfortable being friends with a dyke.

The blow had been hard. She'd stayed in bed for two days with no inspiration to move. It had taken her mom's usual speech about showing strength that got her out of bed and to school again. She wondered just how much her mother knew; she just hadn't been able to talk about it when it happened...that was just how Lana worked. She had to process things, let them fester and then they'd just burst out. She could remember so many times keeping something quiet and then just exploding suddenly, out for ice cream with her dad for instance, suddenly just telling him everything, changing what was supposed to be a light and fun activity...but making it better, making it something she'd always remember.

She'd hoped that everything would be the same. That she could hide in the shadows because nobody noticed Lana in the hallways,

That was until Selena told everybody about her dirty little secret.

Suddenly it was like she had the black plague. Everyone stared, looked, gawked, laughed and pointed like she was some attraction at the zoo.

She walked down the hallway and was soon at her locker, grabbing her book and closing it.

"So you're some sort of lesbian now?" Francine asked as she ran up to her.

"Some sort," she paused, considering the words, biting back the first response because she didn't deserve her real emotions. "I just wish people took my feelings into consideration before they made assumptions."

The halls were crowded with people, all wanting to take look at the school lesbo.

There was the couple that was always making out on the left side of the hall, and about ten feet farther down, the cliquey girls who laughed as she tugged on her skirt.

"Come on, show some skin for us." A jock whispered as she walked past him.

She just wanted to get to English.

Opposite them, the cliquey jocks, and between them, the parade of band geeks with their huge instrument cases. There were the aerospace tech kids who never did anything but make paper airplanes and they even starred, their fantasies coming true about a girl going down on another girl at their school. Even fashion kids that wheeled mannequins and clothing racks down the halls watched her intensely. And then there was Lana. Fitting in nowhere.

And the girls she'd always been able to depend on when desperate…

She saw the look on Eva Grace's face, the way she shrunk back.

Lana flinched. If she was entirely truthful, Eva was someone that she...if it were possible...Eva was the one. And she'd always thought...hoped?...that maybe, just maybe, Eva wasn't as straight as some other girls. It had always seemed that she looked a little too long.

But maybe not.

Eva was turning around, leaving when Lana made eye contact.

"Eva," she called out and ran down the hallway.

They had the same class. Lana was desperate to not walk into English alone. That was all she wanted.

Once they were out of sight, Eva looked at her.

"Why do you let them get to you?" Eva asked. "Do you really care about popularity more than your own happiness?"

"No," she answered. "I've just… I've never been singled out before. I've always been able to hide in the crowd."

Eva brushed her long bangs out of her face; they were sharp and choppy and her hair was in a long braid down her back. "Why hide?" She mumbled. "I don't...I can't, Lana."

Lana opened her mouth to protest, but Eva was edging away, shoving past into the English classroom; there was only one open seat that didn't have ones next to it...that was the one that Eva picked.

Lana sat down at the one nearest the door because she couldn't handle going farther into the room; couldn't handle the thought that it would take longer to get out again.

Class was slow. Eva glanced over and she dove deeper into her book, writing notes in the margins.

Eva's eyes are so blue.

Focus Lana. Write about the book. Write about The Great Gatsby.

She thought about the other girls' words all throughout class, wondering what exactly Eva had meant. Eva was the one shying away from Lana now...was it because she was out, or because she wasn't out enough?

Nothing made sense.

Lana fled the class as soon as possible, finding the least public spot in the school, hiding in the northeast janitor's closet.

She leaned against the wall, forcing herself to breathe in and out. Things would be okay. She was going to make it through this.

But how? Lie, say that Selena was crazy? Say that they'd fought and Selena wanted revenge? Make Selena the bad guy?

She remembered certain things that Selena had done, that Lana knew every last detail of...had pictures of...she could turn this whole thing around.

Don't do that. Be the better person.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

That poster, of that quote by Gandhi, was at her father's workplace. Lana inhaled sharply, remembering Eva's words. Remembering just how much she wanted to be out, just how much she wanted bisexuality—any sexuality—to not be a taboo topic, to not be something no one talked about or referenced unless you were bi, in which case most people believed you were actually gay and just not brave enough to go fully out.

Which wasn't true.

Lana buried her face in her hands. What was the other option then?

There was no other option.

She had to own it, make herself confident again. That's what her mom would've said, as soon as Lana even began to broach the topic.

There are so many things in life that are just plain hard. Life sucks. Bad things happen to good people. It's never easy. But for god's sake, be true to yourself, and life will be that much easier when you're honest with the world and present yourself as is. Lying to yourself and everyone else about who you are never helped anyone.

She wiped away her tears and left the room quickly.

All eyes were on her and she had to make a decision. What did she want to be known as? The one too shy to say anything? Or the one who made her own destiny?

Lana. She wanted to be known as Lana Delia Clancy.

And she wanted to be the one who decided just what exactly that meant to people.

She walked down the hallway, noticing the stares and the whispers.

It bothered her, yes.

But what if there could be a way to make it not bother her? How would that work?

To know what they were saying.

And to take power away from it by proving it.

She saw Dakota Ramirez standing at the end of the hallway, one hip cocked out. Dakota was the only openly gay girl in their whole class. There were a few others that were very obviously gay, but Dakota was the only one that was out.

She had a smirk on her face, on the heavily made up red lips that were perpetually in a pout.

Come at me, she seemed to be saying. Let's see what you're made of. Can you handle the stares? Because otherwise you don't deserve this chance. Come on, Lana. Let's see what you're made of.

Lana liked Dakota; on the few occasions they'd talked, she'd showed a wicked sense of humor and an uncanny ability to tell what other people were thinking, and to predict future events. She could read people. She knew what they wanted. She knew what they feared.

Lana swallowed, reaching her, sticking her hand out.

Dakota scoffed. "Go all the way," she said. "Or nowhere."

With me

It's all

Or nothing

Lana pulled Dakota in.

When their lips met, there wasn't chemistry...not quite. Not like there had been with Brandy, the only other time Lana had kissed a girl so far.

But.

Dakota's perfume invaded Lana's senses; her lipstick was coated in strawberry lip gloss and Lana couldn't breathe from how right this felt, even if it was the wrong girl, it was a girl and she was done lying to the world.

She liked girls.

And boys.

But girls too.

And if they couldn't handle it…

She pulled away, feeling everyone's eyes on her. Dakota grinned at her, a real smile; perhaps the first real one that Lana had ever seen her give.

"Welcome," Dakota said. "I've been waiting too long."

Lana felt her cheeks flush hot, bright red. She looked around her; caught Eva Grace's eye.

Eva shrunk back, turning away from her.

Well.

That was a fallout that Lana could afford. She was done not being her truest self. And anyone that couldn't handle it…

She turned back to Dakota, and pressed a kiss to the girl's cheek.

Then they didn't deserve a place in her life. And that was that.