Chapter 13 There Goes My Life

The rest of the day was rather quiet for Meredith. The huge fight the chief and Dr. Shepherd had in front of the entire hospital was all the gossip mill processed right now. Everyone was talking about it and hardly anybody found out that she got kicked out of the OR after screaming at Dr. Webber. Yet everyone wondered who McDreamy's wife was and for some reason she hated that the nurses were speculating about it. As she left the hospital after her shift she was approached from behind

"The Chief knows about us. We have to talk about this" As gossip was spreading faster than STDs around Seattle Grace she didn't have the intention to discuss this topic with her husband in the public.
"I don't need to talk about it. I saw you yelling at each other. I don't want to talk about it. He knows YOU are married. He doesn't know who you are married to. This is not my mess. We should get this divorce, but after your little emotional speech I'm inclined to assume that you are not going to agree with me. Plus I have my very own Chief drama to begin with."
"This is getting complicated, Meredith." He reminded her insisting "We should come clean about it."
She didn't agree with him. "Complicated for you, Derek. And whose fault is this? But if you tell Webber about us, it's getting complicated for me. I'm the intern sleeping with the attending and my resident wouldn't speak to me anymore."
Derek was amused because he didn't assume that anybody in the hospital would want Dr. Bailey to talk to them. Everyone he knew was afraid of her. "Bailey not talking to you? That wouldn't be a bad thing. If I was a better guy, I'd walk away."
"Yes, you would and you wouldn't tell a word about us to Richard Webber. It's really none of his business." Meredith stated. She still wanted to resolve the entire Vegas story and get back to her usual self.
"Do you want me to be the better guy?" Derek asked her.
"Yes" she said nodding and entering her car.

She was too confused to fall asleep and every single thought came back to Derek. Her old self would have gotten drunk at Joe's but that wasn't a viable option with Derek and Mark being there every second night. Instead she just sat on her bed and starred at the night sky for hours. When she finally fell asleep it was shortly before her alarm clock woke her up again. By the time she arrived at the hospital she was already running late by 5 minutes and she looked like she had been hit by a truck. As she walked into the elevator she spotted a familiar face
"You're late" she greets her friend.
"So are you." Cristina reminds her.
She admits "I know and I can't afford to piss off Bailey anymore after what happened with Sloan or after that little incident with Richard in the OR yesterday. Do you think Alex or Izzie told anyone?"
"About you and McDreamy?" Cristina asks even though she already knew the answer. As it had always been about McDreamy ever since he arrived at the hospital.
"Yes, about me and McDreamy! The husband who thinks I'm the love of his life." Meredith said sarcastically.
"No, he's their boss too." Cristina assured her. She was scared about what was going to happen. After all the hospital had a non fraternization policy, but yet again, technically they had been married since before he started at the hospital

"If Webber finds out, what can he…? Can he kick me out, or … ?" she asked seemingly scared.
"No, not officially, you're married. You'll just get edged out, blacklisted, banned from his surgeries, and passed over for chief resident. It will be humiliating, but you'll live." Cristina stated which didn't really appease her.
"I have to end it. We need to get this divorce I definitely have to end it. I have to end it, right? " Meredith told her speaking very fast.
"Meredith, shut up." Cristina commanded her.
"What?" she wondered in disbelief as both were rushing upstairs and through a hallway.
"Did you seriously just tell me to shut up?" Meredith asked her friend. Cristina never told her to shut up, Cristina knew she was rambling when she was nervous. But her friend's response left her in shock.
"Oh, please, Mer. You have a hot doctor husband who likes to make you open up and say "ahhhh". It's like the American dream, stop whining about it. Get over those commitment issues and those stupid rules of yours. "Was Cristina out of her mind? She couldn't be serious!
"No. No good comes from sleeping with your boss. Look at my mother, she screwed around the hospital, ruined her marriage in the process and fled to the other side of the country. It's just that every time I want to ask him for a divorce and try to discuss the details I just freeze, it's like something inside me wants to be married. It's crazy, isn't it?" she told her just before arriving at the nurse's station where the other interns and Bailey had already gathered.

"Yang, you are late" said when they both arrived.
"So is Meredith." Yang tried to draw attention away from her.
"So fools, here are your assignments for the day. Karev- Shepherd, Stevens – Burke, Yang – have fun at the pit, O'Malley – you're with me today, Grey- I feel like you want to spend time with doctor Sloan" She was clearly being punished for being late her.
"Plastics again? Can I trade with Karev?" she cried out, but regretted it the second her resident started talking
"Does this looks like a marketplace to you, Grey? I am not negotiating assignments with you."
"No." was all she allowed herself to say, in fact she didn't dare to say anything more. Bailey was quite intimidating.
"See. Now get to work" The resident told all of them.

"Look who I have the pleasure to work with today. My favorite intern" Dr. Sloan greeted her as she approached him.
"Cut the crap. Has Derek put you up for it or is the universe punishing me for the Vegas thing?"she wanted to know. This couldn't be a coincidence.
"No, I'm just nosey. Curious to find out about everything that's going on with you. So I requested you" he elaborated.
"Well, he is the neuro attending and I'm an intern. That's all there is. Everything else is going to be taken care of." She answered.
"So you're getting a divorce?" he wondered.
As she didn't know what she wanted yet, she had to cut him off. "With all due respects Dr. Sloan, but I don't think this is any of your business." She answered harshly.
"So you're not getting a divorce?" he said with a smile on his face.
"Dr. Sloan, I'm not going to discuss my private life with you. If you want any information regarding the status of Dr. Shepherd marriage, you might as well just ask him." She tried to explain.
"Grey, relax. I like you. I like both of you. He's a great guy and from what I can say he cares about you. I want him to be happy and if this means harassing you about the status of your marriage, if this is what it takes to help you make up your mind, then I'm going to do it and by the way I think you like him too" He calmed her down.
She admitted defeat. As an intern there was no running away. The interrogation was going to continue as long as Dr. Sloan felt he was up to it. "Fine, keep going, there's nothing I can do about it anyway. So what do you want me to do today?"
Seeing that he had won the battle, he could move on to being a professional "Remember the skin graft two weeks ago? The patient is back for another procedure. I'm sure you would like to scrub in and follow up on the case. This time I might even let you stand at the operating table"

As they stood in the OR Dr. Sloan continued his interrogation. "So this little outbreak in the OR yesterday isn't linked with Webber's fallout with Derek?"
"Dr. Sloan" Meredith interrupted him.
"Stop calling me, . I'm Mark, I'm family now. Derek and I are brothers" the attending joked.
" , I wouldn't know anything about the Chief's heated discussion with Dr. Shepherd." Meredith denied.
"Meredith, come on, share." He said like he was talking to an old friend.
" , If you want to spread gossip why don't you actually TALK to one of your nurses instead of just sticking body parts in them. I'm very sure that one of them can provide you with all the essential information as they are very interested in other people's personal lives." Meredith insisted in a professional tone.
"Okay, I respect that. And Grey, I really think Derek made a great choice that night and so did you. Give him a chance. You are not going to regret it." He said as he winked at her. They both exchanged a smile and Dr. Sloan began with the procedure.
As he knew he wasn't going to find out anything about her relationship with Derek, he decided to go down a different road: "So I heard your mother had a different take on dating people at the hospital"
"She did." Meredith answered cursing herself that she had revealed this information in an OR full of people the day before.
"So she and the chief have been doing it all over the hospital? Is this the reason you refused to date anyone who's working here" Sloan smirked.
"Dr. Sloan, do you expect me to address your question?" Meredith asked. Doctor Sloan smirked and shook his head.
"Good" she concluded. Maybe Sloan was right. Maybe Derek was a decent guy after all and after all the running she was tired of it.

But deciding on whether to divorce Derek or not and on whether to tell the Chief about their marriage or not, wasn't the only thing Meredith was worried about today. For once it was a nice change to worry about someone else's problems.
"So you're knocked up?" she asked Cristina as she saw her sitting in the cafeteria.
"So you had mind blowing sex with McDreamy?" Cristina asked her, because she didn't really want to talk about it.
"Once." Meredith answered "Maybe we should form the 'Screw your attending and screw up club'. See, this is exactly why I don't date people from the hospital." She finally concluded.
"No, you marry them." Cristina noted.
"Shut up. So you are getting rid of it?" Meredith asked her trying to shift the focus of their conversation back to Cristina, who confirmed. "I am."
"How did you know getting rid of it was the right decision?" Meredith wondered all of the sudden.
"The moment I peed on that stick. You know what happens to pregnant interns." Cristina stated. After a very short pause she continued "Wait, hold on, are you?"