Author's note; I'm late. Not as late as Sherlock.
As soon as I'm lead inside the doors to the college, I'm caught up in a hug from- it's not Phil. Who's hugging me? I crane my head to look up and see my brother. Weird. "Dan, Dan. Are you okay? Are you alright? You're so cold. Dan, you didn't tell me you felt this way again. You promised you would tell, Dan." His voice is full of concern. My brother knows me far too well.
I'm walking once again. I needed to get out of the house. The suffocation, the pure drowning I felt. I'm in the field round the back and it's snowing heavily, the flakes of ice flying round me, swirling like ballerinas. I have not an intelligent reason for why I am out here. I'm fourteen years old, in the constant shadow of my perfect brother. The brother that my parents just adore. I'll bet they're in the living room all together right now, not even aware that I'm no longer in the actual house. I sit down on the frozen ground, the blanket of snow comforting me. Unlike my family. I sigh, watching my emotional interjection float in the air. I'm just fed up, I think, to the extent of lying here in the snow round the back of my house, just to get away from it all. I wipe my hand through the white canvas, creating little swirls with my finger. I reach out my other hand into the snow, too. I'm cold, my mind, nose, feet. I'm numb with the cold. My mind is whirring but I'm not paying attention, I'm blinking but I'm not looking. I sit up when I can no longer stand the icy pricks running up and down, along my back. I shake my head to bring my back to the world and rub my eyes. I go to stand and I'm walking back to the house .I'm okay. I'm just tired. I turn back and see my silhouette in the shadows of the snow and I see the place where I lay just a moment ago. To my surprise, the patterns I was tracing with my fingers connect together, making a word.
I hug my brother in return, baffled that he's actually here. He came just because I feel a little down over Phil. AND THAT I DO NOT WANT TO BE A GODDAMN LAWYER. "Bad again?" I repeat. God, I just spent a lot of time in the garden when I was fourteen. It's not like I was crazy. Cough. He just hugs tighter until I nearly die of suffocation. "Yeah. Well, I'll tell you upstairs, c'mon, you look freezing," He lets me go and heads up the stairs and I follow in his wake. The reception lady stares. She looks at me intently. I catch her eye and she looks away hurriedly, a red tint spreads in her cheeks. Nosy bitch.
My brother opens the door as if he's lived here for as long as I have. He walks in, nodding to Phil on the way. Oh, he doesn't even know we're going out. He doesn't even know I'm gay! Crap. I look to Phil worriedly but he's...ignoring me? I don't know, but he's definitely avoiding eye contact. I try to attract his attention by coughing but, nope. Nothing. It just alerts my brother of how cold I am. "Dan, c'mere, get into bed. I don't know what you were thinking mate, it's frickin' freezing out there..." I do stumble over to be bed and sit on the mattress, numbly. My brother wraps a cover around me and sits gently by my side, slinging his arm around my back. He's acting as if he's a million years older than me but yet it's a petty constellation and one that I'm afraid to say at this moment Im lapping up. I lean into his side slowly, looking over to Phil the whole time. He's got his earphones in and he's just 'distracted' by some course work in his arms. He doesn't look too concerned at all. My brother sees me looking. "Yeah, he was crying when I arrived. I don't know, he looked really worried. His name's Phil, right?" I nod, my mind wondering madly; he was crying? Over me? No-one's ever done that. Not to my knowledge. "He was really sad. It looks like he likes you. Would you believe it, my brother has a friend. Took your time Dan," He laughs. I exhale, rolling my eyes, suppressing laughter too. "So what's up, big bro. Tell me, I have to be heading off soon," He does sound concerned. So I go ahead and tell him. Kind of hoping Phil can hear too. About how my future seems a little overwhelming at the moment, but it's fine, I'll get over it. I try to sound as casual as I can muster so he doesn't worry. I love my brother and I don't want him to lose sleep over me. So he accepts my reasons with good grace, ensuring me it'll be fine in the end 'I'm bright enough to pursue a career in most fortes'. I too accept his bid to make me feel better and don't think too much into it. I just thank him, hug him and hurry him home before mum rings worried. He leaves with good grace which leaves me alone with Phil.
In the camera, the lense can sense a boy, so it zooms in. The boy, young and tired, looks cold and stressed. Also worried, looking to the person holding the device. His eyes show love and a restricted guilt. Yet still his face is an image of confusment and again, worry. The camera traces a tear roll down his red cheek and zooms again, portraying the emotional interjection as a drop of pure beauty. Yet this is juxtaposition as the tear resembles nothing less of hurt and hideousness. The boy knows this and the camera does not so it continues to perfect the image of the crying boy without a sense of wrong-doing as a mortal would.
Phil gets up with a flourish, leaving his earphones on the bed. He stresses over to the shelf and handles the camera with ease, turning it on and pointing it at me. He opens his mouth to speak.
P.s Yeah, seem to have a serious case of lazy-itus. Bdmum tss. But seriously, it's not fair to you guys so I decided I'll have a schedule thing like normal people-.- I'll be -almost- sure to update on Wednesdays and Sundays from now on, and if I don't have a large pile of homework I may slip in a few Tuesdays. I hope that's okay for you:) Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this belated chapter and a massive thank-you to the regulars;) ; KillerKyuubiCat and ElzyPhangirl and to mysticwater72 (I woke up to your review, that was nice:')) Seeya in a few days, as always with bunches and bunches of love -NeonLuna :)