A/N: I'm trying to do a quick update since it seems I left people in more angst than usual. Just hang in there everybody. DO NOT DESPAIR! Remember that it's always darkest just before the dawn....

I feel so unsure
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies, something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen and all those sad goodbyes

Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
And there's no comfort in the truth

Pain is all you'll find

I'm never gonna dance again
Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool

I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you

~ "Careless Whisper" George Michael

I.

Mary sat up and away from Raph and turned to face him. As she did so, she felt a curious lightness, a strange relief that the truth was coming out, that things were finally unraveling. She'd known that Marshall had left a mark high on her neck near the nape, could in fact recall the exact moment when his passionate kisses had created it, but she'd forgotten about it in her sorrow over his leaving, forgotten that she was supposed to be hiding it from Raph.

And that's just what happens when life fills up with lies and secrets. Something always slides through the cracks of the mask and reveals the truth, no matter how hard we try to hide it, no matter how much we would wish otherwise.

Now there was nothing to hide, nothing that could be hidden, and her heart sighed with relief.

Because it's hard work keeping that mask in place, patching those constantly-appearing gaps....

He was still sitting there looking at her with those questioning eyes, hurt and anger just beginning to blossom there in them, and she smiled gently and reached across what felt like an ever-widening gulf to take his hand.

"Yeah. I guess there is something I need to tell you, Raph. This is not going to be easy for you to hear...."

II.

Hours passed. Accusations were flung, deflected, returned. Words became heated. Doors were slammed. Anger was roused.

"How could you? How could you? How long have you been sleeping with him, Mary? From the beginning?"

"Oh, going to play the wounded betrayal card, are we? This is so rich coming from you. Does it feel good to be the innocent victim, Mr. She's Just My Physical Therapist?"

"I came clean about that, Mary. It was...a mistake, and I stopped seeing her when I committed to you, to this relationship! But you...you've been waltzing in and out of here like there was nothing between the two of you, making me feel guilty for even implying that there might be... when...the whole time apparently...."

"You bastard, I was true to you for a long, long time. Marshall and I are so close as friends and partners...we never intended...we tried so hard...he and I even...it's so complicated...." She took a deep breath, unable to find a way to describe what had happened between them, the depth of it, the perfection of how they'd come together, the pain of how they'd torn apart. She punched the couch cushion lightly in frustration, switched from a confused defense to more certain ground. "Besides, let's not forget that the full extent of your relationship with Ms. Silicone SuperCups was recreational fun and that all that happened after we were together, too, or don't you remember that?"

He ran his hands through his hair, paced away from her. They were now in the living room, their "discussion" having raged through the bedroom, the kitchen, and finally having settled there. Mary was momentarily perched the couch watching Raph walk back and forth. She'd done her fair share of walking the floors and she was tired of it. To be honest, she was tired of all of this....

"Look, Mary. This is going nowhere." He turned to face her and walked across the room to put his hands on her arms. His voice gentled as he squeezed softly. "So we've both made mistakes. Okay. Fine. I'm willing to admit that I'm not perfect. Let's put this behind us. We can do it. We can build on this somehow to make an even stronger foundation for our future together."

But do I want to rebuild this with him? Do I want a future with Raphael? The choking feeling of walls closing in, of airlessness was back, and she wanted those restraining hands off her, gone. His touch was heavy, restraining, clinging, and she suddenly felt as though an opening to escape from danger was closing while she stood watching, dumbfounded.

"Maybe this is what we both needed to make us think about our relationship seriously. I know it's hard now, but maybe this will actually turn out to have been somehow a good thing....."

What IS he blathering on about, and why doesn't he let me go? Wait, yes, he's right....I am thinking about our relationship. He's right about that, and I am sure about one thing as I've never been sure of it before....

"...because, Mary, if we can survive this, what could possibly tear us apart?"

She pushed away from him gently, just far enough to look in his eyes. He looked down at them, and in her expression, he saw what he had feared for so long, knew that no matter how hard he held her, it would not be hard enough to keep her. He dropped his hands to his side.

"Raph," she said, "that's the thing, isn't it? I don't cheat. Not ever. I mean, I never have. Not when I've been committed to somebody. And I fought what I felt for Marshall. Hard. As hard as I've ever fought anything in my life...."

Raph stirred restlessly in front of her as if he wanted to turn away, raise a hand to brush aside her words, but she continued as if he'd never moved. "...He fought, too, pushed me away, literally, physically. But it just kept happening."

"But he's gone now, Mary. He left you. Left for good."

The words cut jagged channels through her tender insides. She took a deep breath and went on.

"I know it. But that still doesn't mean you and I should be together. Don't you see? If I really felt for you what you want from me, need from me, deserve from me, Raph, there would be no way I could have gone to bed with Marshall, not even once no matter what the situation surrounding it."

Raph looked down at his hands. "So this is your choice? You're ending it with me? Kicking me out when he's gone, maybe forever? Choosing the man who ran away over the one who offered you a future and a ring?"

"No. This isn't about that at all. I might not ever see him again." Oh God. Please don't let that be true.... "This is just about you and me right now, Raph. We're not what we're supposed to be, not with rings and promises of forever involved." She reached down and slipped the winking diamonds off her finger, took his hand and folded it into his palm. Then she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, softly, gently. She turned and walked to the front door, grabbed her coat and keys, and she paused with her hand on the knob to look at him a moment.

Raph was staring down at the ring in his hand, sadness in every line of his body. He looked up at her and his eyes were a little lost. "What do I do now? Tell me that?"

She smiled just a little, but it did not touch her gaze. "I'm fresh out of ideas for tomorrow, Raph. I'm doing good to still be standing right this very minute. You're going to have to find your own way now." She relented, walked over to where he was, kissed him very gently on the cheek. Then she turned and walked away.

II.

For a long time, she just drove around, turning over and over the events of the evening in her mind. It was finally over with Raph, and instead of the pain she had expected to feel, she felt an almost euphoric relief. There would be no more worries about her plans for the future not fitting his, no more moments of wanting to fling his hands from her physically, no more nervous and uncomfortable slices of hell when his family members showed up full of expectations of a woman she could never be, of a blushing bride ready to create mountains of offspring, of a traditional cliché she had rejected ages ago. The hand that had borne the ring for so long felt remarkably light, as if a cast-iron shackle had been removed instead of something made of gems and precious metals.

God, how did I miss this before? How did I blind myself to the fact that I was forcing something together so hard that didn't fit? I would have gone through with it, too. Stubborn pride. Stubborn, arrogant pride.... But it would have been so wrong. No amount of my pushing would ever have made Raph and me right. We just don't work together. And, the thing that I need, maybe, shouldn't have to be a thing that gets forced at all....

It came to her how easy it was to be with Marshall, how much enjoyment there had always been for them together in everything, in their daily encounters, in their silliness , in their snarkiness, and in their seriousness, too, how simply and perfectly they had come together as partners, as friends, as lovers....Her hands tightened on the steering wheel of the Probe.

God, I miss him. He hasn't even been gone a full 48, and I already feel like it's been forever. I need to see him. Need to talk to him. I want to tell him.... I want to tell him....

Here her mind hesitated, paused, careful and cautious. Want to tell him what?

Want to tell him I miss him, I guess. That I don't like it when he's gone. That I want him to come back. That I broke up with Raph.

And is that all? the persistent little voice asked. Is there nothing else more serious, more crucial you've learned here that you want to share with him?

Um...I'm not sure what you mean....and I think I'm really going nuts since I'm driving around talking to myself.

That little inner voice just sighed. I can see this is going to take awhile. You'll get it eventually. Drive on. Drive on.....

Mary made a few more circuits of the neighborhood, but the inner voice remained silent. When she got back home, Raph was gone just as she'd hoped he would be. She went to her bedroom and took out her cellphone, hesitated, and shrugged, hitting #1 on her speed dial.

"Hey, Marshall. Don't know if you're even listening to these anymore, you jerk, since you're not deigning to call back, but I just wanted you to know that....Raph and I ended things tonight. I....don't know, I guess I thought you might be interested in that news." There was a long pause in which she struggled for words. None came. "Well, take care of yourself, wherever the hell it is that you are." And she hung up. She didn't say the words her heart was clamoring to say the loudest, "Come back to me." Something of it crept in to her message nevertheless.