Just a brief warning for this chapter . . . I am not a therapist, and I know nothing about psychology. Anything appearing in this chapter is made up from my own intuitions. There will undoubtedly be a reader out there who knows more about psychology than I do, and he or she will find mistakes. I'm sorry for those, and hope that they don't prevent you from enjoying the chapter. More to come soon, please read and review!

Chapter 13

Quinn's beautiful blonde hair was completely flat on one side. For the last six hours, she had been leaning her head against the wall in the waiting room, deliriously murmuring the prayers of her rosary. The popcorn texturing on the walls had impressed deeply into her smooth skin, making one cheek look pockmarked and enflamed while the other was a pristine white. One of her eyes was watering involuntarily and beginning to crust over. She had never been so tired in her life, and she was unfamiliar with her body's strange reaction to the exhaustion.

It was 9:00 in the morning, and the school day had already started at McKinley, but Quinn hadn't slept for a minute. For two or three hours in the middle of this ordeal, she had been in such a fog that she wasn't sure if she was awake or asleep. Everything around her had looked hazy, and anyone who tried to talk to her sounded like a slow motion blur. But by this point, she was beyond tired. Her head was still clouded, but her eyes were unblinking.

Next to her, Mary had fallen into a sleep bordering on comatose. She was completely still and silent; she hadn't moved an inch the entire night. Occasionally, Dwight or Quinn would tap her gently to make sure she was still alive, and her eyes would flicker open, but after making eye contact for only a moment, they would snap back shut. Quinn could tell that Mary wasn't able to cope with what was happening around her and figured that this deadly sleep was a way of avoiding it.

She was afraid to imagine what would happen to Mary if Sam died. Dwight was reacting exactly how she would expect a parent to react under these circumstances. At first he was afraid but tried to be strong for those around him. Then his fear had risen to the point of desperation. A few hours after the doctor told them about Sam's dire condition, Dwight had broken down and started sobbing. It lasted only a minute, but it broke Quinn's heart.

When his eyes were dry, he explained to Quinn that Sam had come into the world by accident. He and Mary were young, and Mary hadn't finished college yet. They had discussed terminating the pregnancy, but ultimately both of their faiths had prevented them from ending his life before it began. Then when he was born, they were in such awe of the tiny life they had created that they couldn't even fathom how they had considered not having him. He had brought such joy to them and changed their lives forever. Stevie and Stacy were much younger than Sam, conceived at a time in their parents lives' when they could afford to have them. But now they couldn't imagine life without Sam, without their first child who taught them what it was to love unconditionally.

Quinn had been forced to brush tears away from her eyes. She was sure that this was something Dwight would never have told her had the circumstances been different, but she was glad he had shared it with her. It reminded her so much of her own situation with Beth that the story tore at her heart. She knew giving Beth away was the only really option for her and for her child. But she envied Dwight, who got to raise his son and watch him grow into a broad smiling, perpetually happy young man. She would never get that with Beth. But, on the other hand, her pain was only speculative. Her heart would ache when she wondered what Beth was doing. Dwight's pain was very, very real.

But Mary was reacting so differently. She hadn't cried, she had barely said a word, and inside, Quinn could tell she was distancing herself from her son and the fact that he might be inflicting upon her the greatest injury of her life. If Sam died, Quinn wondered if she would ever recover enough to be a mother to Stevie and Stacy. Or would she form a barrier between herself and them, in case they hurt her too? Quinn vowed never to leave them. Even if Sam died, and she technically no longer had a connection to the Evans family, she swore to herself that she would never turn her back on the two little blonde children. She promised to look out for them and provide a maternal figure for them if Mary was unable to. She would do this for them, for Sam, for herself, and for Beth.

Without warning, the small doctor popped through the door again, and Quinn shot to her feet. Despite having operated all through the night, he was looking distinctly alert. Dwight staggered to his feet and leaned down to gently shake Mary awake. She groaned and allowed herself to be lifted to face the doctor.

"Well," the doctor said, a smile forming at the corners of his lips, "It's good news. Sam is going to be fine."

Mary collapsed to the floor shaking and sobbing. An onlooker wouldn't have been able to tell if she had just received the best news of her life, or the worst. Rejoicing, Dwight knelt down to wrap his arms tightly around his fragile wife. The doctor reached out to take Quinn's hands and hold them in a firm grip.

"Are you his sister?" he asked politely.

"His girlfriend," she responded quietly.

"Ah," the doctor said with a smile. "I apologize for the mistake. You look just like him."

Quinn smiled. She hadn't really thought about it before, but the doctor was right. She and Sam did look a lot alike. They looked cute together.

When Dwight managed to curb Mary's sobs and lift her from the floor to a chair, the doctor motioned for them to sit. He took a chair beside them and spun it to face them.

The doctor started, "As I mentioned, Sam is going to be fine. However, I want you all to understand that he's been through a lot. His injuries were severe, and he's going to be in a great deal of pain. There will be a long road to recovery, physically and mentally. He's going to need your patience and support."

They all nodded wearily.

"The knife wound to his back completely destroyed one of his kidneys, and we weren't able to save it. Of course, he can live a normal, healthy life with only one kidney, but if he has any kind of kidney failure years down the road, it becomes a problem then. There was another stab wound here, just below his belly button," the doctor explained, pointing to his own lower abdomen.

"This wound caused us quite a bit of difficulty, but we were able to stop the internal bleeding and stabilize it. We had to remove a small piece of the intestine and reattach it, but again, this isn't something that should cause lasting health concerns."

"As I mentioned when we spoke earlier, Sam was shot in the leg, but the bullet passed through his hamstring and exited through his thigh clearly. We repaired the muscle damage and stitched up the wound, and we expect it to heal without complications. The bullet wound appears to have occurred substantially earlier than the other serious injuries because the blood was already clotted when Sam was brought here."

"You said he was, he was tortured?" Dwight asked, trying to take in everything the doctor had explained to him. To him, it sounded like his son was a bag of parts they had sliced and diced and reattached and stitched. He didn't sound like a person anymore. Dwight was honestly afraid of what he'd see when they were finally allowed to visit Sam.

"Yes, I'm afraid that seems to be the case," the doctor responded. "He presented with deep bruising covering his abdomen and a few fractures to his ribs. I would suspect that he was beaten with fists or possibly a bat of some kind. His nose is shattered, and that's caused bruising and swelling in both eyes. There is also some bruising around his wrists, indicating that he was probably bound at some point. You'll also see a very deep bruising around his throat that looks like a collar. I believe that was caused by some kind of wire or cord that was used to strangle him. His back has some cuts and bleeding that look like whip lashes. He's been abused very badly."

Quinn shuddered, willing herself to not think of how scared Sam must have been when all of this was happening to him. She felt an aching all over her body as she tried to put herself in his position.

"When can we see him?" Dwight asked, his eyes sad but anxious.

"Well," the doctor sighed, "There's something else we need to discuss."

Quinn stiffened. What else could there possibly be? He'd been through so much, she had no idea how they were going to bring him back from the hell that probably burned itself inside him.

"I'm so sorry to have to tell you all this. Sam's been the victim of very severe sexual assault."

"Assault?" Mary asked, "I-I don't understand. What does that actually mean? Like, someone touched him?"

The doctor looked down again, clasping his hands together and running one thumb over the other. He looked up, "Again, I'm very sorry. He's been raped. Very brutally. We performed an anal reconstructive procedure and were able to repair most of the damage. Physically, he's going to be all right, but mentally, there's no telling what state he'll be in."

Quinn was in a state of shock. Raped? She had never really thought of a boy being raped. For a Christian girl, she was very understanding of homosexuality. And she understood in general terms how gay men had sex with each other. But she had never heard of gay men committing acts of sexual violence. She just assumed all gay men were like Kurt—delicate, sexless, and incapable of violence. Is that what this was all about? Some guy kidnapped Sam and almost killed him because Sam is hot and he wanted to have sex with him? Quinn was having a hard time imagining this. So there was some guy, driving around the streets of Lima, horny, and looking for a teenaged boy to sleep with? But Sam is strong . . . she was just so confused.

Beside her, Dwight expressed her confusion. "Doctor, I'm sorry, I don't understand this," he said, shaking his head. "My son is very strong. He plays football, and he works out religiously. He's not . . ." he paused, looking around and lowering his voice. "He's not gay. And he wouldn't let what you're saying happened . . . he wouldn't let someone do that to him. I don't understand."

"Mr. Evans," the doctor started, realizing he was getting dangerously close to an area that was not his expertise. "No one is saying that Sam's gay, or that he wanted this. In fact, his body shows the exact opposite. Trust me when I tell you he didn't have a choice in this. This is going to be hard to hear, but we found at least three distinct DNA samples on him, possibly a fourth. I'm sure Sam is very strong, but he is still a child, and he wouldn't be able to overpower three or four adult men, especially ones armed with the kinds of weapons we know were used against Sam."

"In him, you mean," Dwight stated dryly.

"I'm sorry?"

"The DNA samples. You mean you found them in him."

"Yes."

Dwight nodded tersely and leaned back in his chair, looking out the window. Quinn could see a quiet rage beginning to burn inside of him.

"When can I see my son," he asked, not turning his eyes away from the window. Quinn knew his anger was reaching a boiling point and hoped the doctor chose his words wisely. The doctor was getting uncomfortable and was starting to fidget. Quinn remained silent, not wanting to inject herself into the horrible tension building around her.

"I understand that you want to see Sam, Mr. Evans, but in situations like these we usually recommend that the family of the victim speak with a rape crisis counselor before talking to the victim. Victims of sexual assault are very vulnerable, and Sam could be especially so because he's young and he's male. Often family and friends can't understand what the victim has been through or what's going on in their mind, and they say something that can turn out to be very traumatic for the victim."

Dwight's eyes snapped back to the doctor. "Are you implying that I'm going to hurt my son, Doctor?" Dwight leaned forward, his eyes narrowing.

"Of course not, Mr. Evans. I'm sure you would never do anything to intentionally hurt your son. But Sam may not be the boy you remember him as, and the rape crisis counselor can be very helpful in learning how to handle him now. Dr. Poluski is a very good therapist, she works with many male victims, and I think she . . ."

Dwight shot to his feet, the rage finally bursting through him. "I'm sorry, Doctor," he started, pronouncing the word harshly, "But if you think some shrink is going to teach me how to handle my own son, you're . . ."

"Dwight." Mary's voice was so soft that it silenced her husband, and all eyes turned to her. She hadn't spoken all night.

"He's probably right, you know," she whispered. "Sam's hurting, and we have no idea how to help him. If this therapist can help us help him, then we need to talk to her."

Dwight collapsed into his seat, his anger diffused. He took his wife's delicate hand between his own and raised it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on it. "Ok," he said nodding, "Ok."

The doctor nodded, glad to be out of this difficult position. "I'll send Dr. Poluski out in a few minutes to meet with you. It's going to be very difficult, no doubt. But try to remember that it will help Sam." The doctor stood and placed a hand on Dwight's shoulder, and the other on Mary's. "Just remember that as bad as things seem, you have your son back, and that's what's really important." They thanked the doctor, and he left the room.

Dwight sighed and leaned forward, his elbows falling onto his knees. He dropped his face into his hands and raked his fingers through his graying blond hair. This was spinning out of control. He was beyond grateful to God that his child was alive and apparently going to be fine. But this was all just too much for him to comprehend. The doctor was talking about his son like he was a game of Operation—this part missing, that part replaced, reconstructed this, destroyed that.

And now the doctor is telling him that Sam was raped? It was just about the last thought that crossed his mind. When the doctor first said it, he wanted to tell the man that he must be mistaken. Innocent, vulnerable girls were raped; it was something he would always fear for his young daughter. But not his strong, athletic son. He had never heard of a man being raped before. How could he help Sam cope with what had happened to him if he didn't even understand it himself? Maybe Mary was right. Maybe they did need this shrink.

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Roslin Poluski was not what most people thought of when they imagined therapists. She was in her mid thirties, and rather beautiful in a unique, organic way. She was tall and willowy with mousy brown hair that fell in waves to the tops of her shoulders. She had keen blue eyes behind spectacles perched on a hawkish nose. Dwight thought that her navy slacks with wide-flaring legs made her look a bit like a love child, though she was far too young.

She had gotten a call from Dr. Arnold Di that morning, reporting a teenaged male victim of extreme sexual trauma. It piqued her interest. Although she counseled all rape victims, her research focused on male victims of violent assault, particularly adult ones. Much work had been done on child victims of sexual abuse, and the research tended to prove that children under a certain age were sexless to perpetrators. It's at that young age, then, that there tend to be almost equal numbers of male and female victims. But there was hardly any research done on adult male victims. Not men seeking counseling over childhood sexual abuse by a neighbor or a family member, but men who had been violently assaulted after puberty. Counselors didn't know what to do with them, and Roslin had been working for years on developing a therapy program to fill that void. It was slow work, though, as male victims were rarer, under-reported, and often reluctant to seek help on their own. So when she got the call that morning, Roslin jumped at the opportunity to work with Sam Evans and his family.

After the family had agreed to speak with her, Dr. Di took her into the post-op room where the teenager was recovering from almost ten hours of surgery. Physically, he was a wreck. Possibly the worst she'd ever seen. By the damage done, it was clear to her that there were multiple attackers, and Dr. Di confirmed her suspicion with the evidence they had found on Sam. She could see why he had called her to speak with the boy's family before they went in to see him. When they did see him, they would be in for a horrible shock.

She stepped into the waiting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Evans?" she asked the disheveled couple sitting in the waiting room. "I'm Dr. Roslin Poluski." They stood to shake her hand. "And is this your daughter?" she asked, gesturing to Quinn. "Sam's girlfriend," Mr. Evans answered. "Ah, I see," she said, smiling to the young girl. She gestured for them to have a seat and pulled a chair for herself into a circle with them.

"Let me first say that I am so sorry about what happened to your son. He's going to have a long recovery ahead of him, but having a positive support system is a huge part of that process."

They all nodded.

"Dr. Di called me to meet with you all before Sam wakes up from surgery because there is a great deal of confusion surrounding male victims of violent sexual crimes. Sam will be confused, I'm sure you all are very confused, and it's important to have some understanding so that you can help him."

"The most prevalent misconception about male rape victims is that they are gay, and that they somehow attracted or provoked their attackers. This just isn't true. Rape has nothing to do with the sexuality of the victim, male or female. Often, it doesn't even have to do with the sexuality of the attackers. Often, it's entirely about exerting power over the victim. It's possible that Sam's attackers were sexually attracted to him and acted violently on that frustration. It's more likely, though, that they saw Sam as a physically powerful individual for them to reduce to weakness and vulnerability. The perpetrators may not even be homosexual themselves."

"Having been subjected to this kind of violent subordination, it would not be unusual for Sam to question himself. He will almost certainly have a deeply rooted sense of shame surrounding the attack, and he may question whether he did something to deserve it. He may wonder whether there is something about him that exudes homosexuality and drew these men to him."

"Again, I want to be clear that this isn't the case. Whatever motives these men had for attacking Sam, it was not because he did something to bring it on. He didn't ask for it, he didn't want it, and he didn't deserve it. Attacks like the one Sam suffered are extremely traumatic, and he will have emotional scars from it for the rest of his life. For that reason, it's extremely important how you, as the people who love him most, address this situation."

"I've unfortunately had this discussion with a number of families, often with conservative religious beliefs, who feel that if their son has been raped, he must be gay. They treat him as if he has just come out to them about his sexuality, and they disapprove. They often treat their sons as if they have done something morally wrong, rather than as the victims of violent crimes. I've even heard the circular reasoning, 'If this happened to you, you must be gay, and since you're gay, you deserved this.' They treat him with scorn and disgust and sometimes even disown him. The rejection from family and friends is often more painful and long lasting than the memories from the attack itself. It can be very traumatic."

"I sincerely hope that this won't be the case with your family. I believe that you all love Sam and want him to get better. You wouldn't be sitting here listening to this if you didn't. The best thing you can do for him when you go in there is reassure him that you love him. He'll wonder whether this was his fault. Reassure him that it wasn't. Just keep reminding him that he is the same person you all loved before this happened, and that you'll be there for him to support him through all of this."

She wasn't sure which part of what she had said struck them, but the three people sitting before her were all crying. Sam's mother was nearly sobbing, while tears streamed slowly down his father and girlfriend's faces. Roslin gave this speech many times, and sometimes she had to remind herself that this is the only time these people have ever gone through something like this. For the families that believed their sons must have done something to deserve this, nothing she could say could change their minds. But for the ones who truly wanted to help their children get better, she liked to believe that she made a difference. She helped them avoid the "Why did this happen" and the "How did you let this happen" questions that she knew would create deep, unintentional wounds.

She placed one light hand on the girl's knee, and the other on Mr. Evans'. Mrs. Evans sat between the two and was supported by loving arms around her shoulders.

"Do you all have any questions for me before you go to see Sam?"

The girl's quivering voice spoke first. "You said we should tell him that he's the same person he used to be, the same person we loved . . . Will he be the same person?"

Roslin pondered the question. It was impossible to answer in a way that would satisfy the girl.

"It's hard to tell. Every victim responds differently. Parts of him will be the same as they were yesterday. But there will almost certainly be changes. He will probably be somewhat different than you remember him. He was attacked very brutally, and it would be difficult for him to survive that without coming out of it somewhat changed. Only time will tell what those changes will be."

The girl nodded, her eyes glancing down at the floor.

Dr. Di leaned his head through the doors. "I should warn you that he's on a heavy morphine drip to manage the pain, and he's quite woozy from the surgery, but Sam's awake now, if you'd like to see him," he said with a smile.

Roslin squeezed Mr. and Mrs. Evans' hands and smiled at them reassuringly. They looked nervous, bordering on terrified. "Don't worry," Roslin said, "You'll do fine. You love him, and that will show through. Now go see him."

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Hey everyone, so now that you know that Sam's going to be all right, here's a tiny little bit about where the story's going. First, we'll be delving into Sam's recovery, and as he progresses, a criminal investigation, and ultimately a trial.

Here's where I need your input. There will be an FBI investigation into Sam's kidnapping, ultimately connecting his case to the others out of state. I love Criminal Minds, and I would like to incorporate some of the characters into the investigation. This will not turn into a crossover story; I intend to only use their names and descriptions of them when writing the investigation. No spin-off plotlines with those characters. If you don't watch the show, you won't know the difference between these characters and characters like Taylor and Addie or Dr. Poluski. However, if you feel that having named characters from another show would be distracting, please say so now and I'll invent some new FBI agents. Thanks for reading!