Tucker and I stared at Caboose, who was as still as a statue, for a good minute. Eventually both of us looked at each other, then back towards Caboose. What the hell do we do with him now?
"Caboose, are you okay, buddy?" Tucker asked, moving forward slowly as if Caboose were an animal that might run off when frightened. Actually, that pretty much is what Caboose is on a normal day. Today? Probably doesn't even know we're still here.
"This place is a lot bigger than I thought it would be." Caboose said in a monotone voice.
"O-kay." Tucker turned back to me. "What the hell is going on?"
"Where should we start, Tex?" Caboose said.
"What?" Tucker asked.
"I think he is saying what Church is saying. Ya know, inside." I said. It was a bit unsettling to actually see it. The idea that someone could essentially take over your body was not one I was at all comfortable with. I mentally shook off the chill creeping up my spine.
"Well, I guess we should get going." Tucker said. He started walking towards Sheila, and turned back after a moment when he realized I didn't move. "What are you waiting for? Come on."
I hesitated for only a second. "You go."
"And leave you here?" He asked, walking back towards me.
"Someone has to protect Caboose."
"Yeah, but Church said-"
"Church told you to go. He didn't tell me to do anything."
"So you can come too. Caboose will be fine here, all the reds are back at their base. Nothing's gonna happen to him."
I knew Tucker was right, nothing does happen to Caboose, but I really didn't want to go with him. On the other hand, he was the one who was going into enemy territory with no real backup.
Seeing my hesitation, Tucker tried one final thing to convince me, except it wasn't what I was expecting.
"I want you."
My mind stuttered to a halt, I heart skipping a beat as I choked out a pathetic "what?"
"To come. Uh, not like that, well yeah like that. Bow chika bow wow. But I mean to the base. Red base. With me." Tucker said, his words just tumbling out of his mouth in one jumbled mess. I stared at him, trying to process what he said. When it finally clicked, laughter burst from my mouth.
"Yeah, sure." I said still laughing. "Lets just go."
Tucker nodded, walking once again towards the other side of the canyon, muttering "Man, I sure hope they don't totally freak out when they see us coming."
"Dude, you're bringing a tank, of course they will freak out."
"Well, maybe if we hide one of us, ya know, in the tank. Then there will be less of us to freak them out."
"The tank. The tank is what will freak them out." I said, but Tucker didn't seem to be listening now.
"I'm gonna get in and drive the tank. You and Lopez walk besides it." Tucker barely finished speaking before he was scaling the side of the tank, pulling on the cage, trying to get it to open. Trying and failing. He groaned as he put all his weight into it.
"Sheila, open driver canopy please." I said, before he ended up hurting himself, or Sheila.
"Affirmative." Sheila flung open the canopy, probably more forcefully than necessary, and Tucker flew backwards off the tank, screaming.
And landing right on me.
"Ow," I groaned from underneath his body.
"Usually the ladies are moaning something else when they're beneath me. Bow chicka- ow hey!"
I had smacked Tucker upside the head, half to get him to shut up and half so he would get off me faster. It seemed to have to opposite effect, because as soon as I had done it Tucker shifted on top of me, grabbing both my hands and pinning them above my head.
"That wasn't very nice, Taylor." Tucker's voice dropped a few octaves, and I suppressed the shiver that wanted to travel from the tip of my spine down to my toes.
"Hunter." I said. Tucker didn't say anything so I kept talking. "My name. It's Hunter...Lavernius."
Tucker let go of my hands, rolling off me in the next second. He didn't even offer to help me up, just walked straight over to Sheila and climbed inside. I slowly stood up, dusted off my armor, and waited for everyone to move forward a few feet before I followed after the small caravan making its way towards red base.
What. The. Fuck.
Tucker seemed to be all over the place. Like we were in fucking high school all over again. I took a breath and tried to remember that this Tucker, he was young, and inexperienced. He knows nothing.
You know nothing, Jon snow. Ha. I miss watching game of thrones. Now I'll never know how it ends. Damn.
I had to focus, not be thinking of Tucker or TV. I had a limited amount of time before O'Malley would be hopping out of Caboose and into...doc…
Oh my god how was I supposed to make sure this went to plan? Why was Doc even on the radio in the first place? It took no time for us to be too close to red base for my liking, and no matter how much I racked my brain, I had no fucking clue what was supposed to happen right now. Tucker spoke up than, breaking me from my internal struggle.
"Okay well, looks like we're close enough. Now if I could just find the brakes on this thing. Ah, must be this button."
"Do not touch that button." Sheila said.
"Oh, sorry. Hmm, maybe it's this one?"
"Do not touch me." Sheila spoke again. I snorted.
"You know, for a girl your size you're really sensitive."
"No need to be rude, Tucker." I said. "Shelia, will you please stop?"
"Of course."
"Thank you."
"Of course the two of you stick together." Tucker loudly complained.
"Tucker, I would think long and hard about the next thing that comes out of your mouth." I said. A few seconds when by, Tucker staring at me the whole time. Did I finally figure out how to shut him up? I thought back on my words and sighed.
"Just say it-"
"Bow chika bow wow."
"Just get out of there. You're lucky I asked sheila to stop. With the rate of success you had, you would have run over their jeep and then they would have thought we were attacking." I gestured towards their warthog, and noticed distinct lightish red and orange armored men making a run for their base. Which apparently no one else noticed. These people are blind. Well, technically two were robotic intelligence systems, which actually makes the fact that they failed to notice the two enemy soldiers even worse.
"Alright. Lets hack into their radios and ask them to shut it off, then go back to our base." Tucker said once he was standing next to me, outside of the tank.
"That's your plan?" I asked.
"You got a better one?"
"How do we hack their signal?"
Tucker turned towards Lopez. Of course.
"And what if asking them to turn off the radio doesn't actually work?"
"I have a plan B."
I sighed. In the show, Tucker obviously got them to turn off the radio, so whatever plans he has, one must work. Tucker turned to address Lopez.
"Okay Lopez, get inside Sheila and do your business."
"What?" Sheila said while the translation for Lopez that popped up on my visor simply said "I am getting very sweaty."
"Oh my God. Remind me to hose you two off when we get back to base." Tucker grumbled.
"Just be respectful Lopez, and Sheila, be patient."
"Affirmative"
Slowly, Lopez climbed into Shelia, stuttering out apologizes in spanish the whole time. Why he needed to be in her to hack the signal I have no idea. Maybe Tucker was being a wingman here or something.
Deciding that it was best if one of us kept watch, I turned my focus and my back on the scene behind me and surveyed the base in front of us. Four enemies on top of the base, all hostiles accounted for and not even paying attention. Hostiles was probably the wrong word in this case. Frenemies was more like it.
"The radio has been hacked." Lopez's monotone voice filled the air.
"Uh, what?" Tucker said.
"He said the hack is done." I explained.
"Oh, good. Alright Hello Red guys. Red guys, are you there?" Tucker said. I didn't hear any response, my radio being turned off and it staying that way. After a few second pause, Tucker spoke again.
"It's me Tucker, I'm one of the blue guys. Look I don't have time to explain, but I need all of you guys to shut off your radios right now."
Another pause. I looked towards the soldiers on top of red base, who seemed to be doing nothing to stop the blue soldier who got into their private, secure, radio.
"Look, it's really important alright? Normally I'd just shoot at you guys and steal your girlfriends but today's different. I need you to trust me on this."
I snorted. More like I would be doing the shooting. After a few more seconds Tucker let out a curse.
"Let me guess, they don't take orders from blues?" I said dryly.
"Apparently not. Lopez, looks like we're gonna have to go to Plan B."
While I asked what plan B was, Lopez jumped out of sheila and onto the radio. Then, he started singing that horrendous love song. Wide eyed I watched lopez as his monotone robotic voice busted out what was sure to never be a hit track, while he shifted from foot to foot, wringing his hands. Ever seen a nervous robot? Then the yelling could be heard from Red base, probably from their ears bleeding. I couldn't help it any longer, I doubled as I laughed my ass off. I had completely forgotten about this song.
Tucker shouted that it worked, I got control over my laughter, and Lopez stopped singing.
"Turn off your radios! Quick!" Tucker reminded us. I double checked mine just in case, and found it still off. Lopez got back into Shelia and I assumed he helped turn off her radio, although why she couldn't do it herself was beyond me.
No one said a word as we all waited. For what? I had no idea.
"Is this it? Did it work?" Tucker asked.
"Well does anyone feel like they have been infected by a homicidal AI?" I asked. Two no's and a negative was the response. "Then I think we should head back to base before the Reds attack, maybe Church and Tex will be waiting."
With everyone in agreement, we headed back to base.
OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO OOOOO
This whole day was long, and I was ready for a shower and a bed. Like immediately. I knew that, if everything went to plan, O'Malley would be out of our hairs for hopefully a week, a few days if our luck was bad. So upon arriving back at base I was not expecting to be confronted by Church, who appeared out of fucking nowhere when I was about five feet away from the base.
"Where the hell have you been Taylor?"
"I take it everything went okay?"
"I'm asking the questions around here, so again, where the hell have you been?
"Well Mr. Grumpy pants, I was providing backup to the team you sent in to shut off the enemy's radio." I said, crossing my arms.
"The tank. The tank was the backup. Meanwhile Caboose, and therefore I, was left unprotected back at base." Church seemed actually pissed that I wasn't here when he left Cabooses head. But him and Tex were fine, I knew they would be. Speaking of, there was a few people missing out here.
"Where is Caboose and Tex?" I asked.
"Caboose is in the base taking a nap. I'm not sure where Tex is. I was going to tell you to go look for her, but instead I had to look for you." His voice was that barely keeping control angry inflection that was actually worse than if the person just yelled. Damn, he was extra pissed. Just cause Tex left though, or something else?
"The AI?" I asked, figuring the AI's escape would be the only other thing pissing him off.
"Dead, I think." Ya, no, but you keep thinking that buddy. Also crossed out that being the thing making him mad. So it was just Tex. Nothing to worry about too much.
"Well then mission success. I suggest we go in the base and celebrate." I said and took that as my opportunity to go inside. I was going to have my nice long shower, go to sleep, and not think about how weird Tucker was today. Nope, not gonna think on it at all.
The two followed in behind me, and I zoned into their conversation when Church mentioned Tex and her disappearance.
"Is it unusual for Tex to just disappear like that?" Tucker asked as we all reached the inside living portion of the base. I saw Caboose on the couch, taking the whole thing up, snoring slightly.
"When we were dating, she'd sneak off all the time. But it was usually to sleep with other guys, or to spend money that she'd taken out of my wallet. And since I don't have any money, and… well, no offense to you, Tucker, but…" Church said.
"You're a dick."
"You both are. Goodnight." I told them, and rounded the corner to the hallway, going right to my room, shutting and locking the door. Like it would keep Church out. Like it would keep everything out.
Tomorrow was a new day, and maybe I could help then.