The General

Chapter Thirteen

Darkness. I'm lost here.

Tetsusaiga knew that it had failed. But it accepted this fact like one willing to swallow poison. Lying against his Master's chin as he rested, the Sword of Protection went over the plan it and it's kin had created, searching for flaws. But it was a pointless effort because no amount of rethinking the past could change the present. His Master's heart had reverted into darkness, a black hole of pain and anger.

The initiation of the plan had barely started too, or really…had never even managed to lift from the ground. Such a waste. Such a travesty. Would it never again be allowed to fight alongside Tenseiga?

But it was more than just that. The Sword of Earth was connected to Inuyasha in ways that his owner could never know of. The weapon knew his memories, his fears, his plans, what made him tick...It had begun as a relationship of trials and disappointment—for how much weaker Inuyasha was to Tetsusaiga's previous handler!—but the hanyou had slowly won the sword's acceptance over the time they had shared. It was not really affection but a sort of distaste for seeing the one it served for in such a dark, dark place.

As Inuyasha slept fitfully, Tetsusaiga stewed in this distaste, wondering if it really was too late. It had once hoped that the girl would alleviate any mistakes the swords' plan had on its owner but after that "sitting fiasco"…it doubted. It doubted very much. And now with the young ward of Tenseiga's thrown into the mix…to imagine if she perished…

If a sword could sigh, Tetsusaiga would be heaving a great one.

Perhaps it should begin to grow accustomed to an owner like the one who wielded the Sword of Healing?

Kagome couldn't sleep. She sat next to Rin's feverish form and stared into the fire. She had long given up trying to rest and had placed her sleeping bag over Sesshomaru's young girl. Everyone around her, even Inuyasha, had given in long ago but it was that half-boy in front of her that wouldn't allow her to join them.

Half-boy…

That was really what he was, wasn't he? He was a child forced to grow up much too soon. Kagome didn't doubt that Sesshomaru was the main cause of it all. How much easier would Inuyasha's life have been if he had been accepted by his brother long ago? However, having seen the depths of Sesshomaru's wickedness and hatred, Kagome couldn't even imagine such a life, couldn't have even wished for it after an initial pondering. They really were just too…different.

Kagome had, in the past, foolishly tried persuading Inuyasha to reach out to his brother and attempt in forming a relationship that was beyond dismemberment and disembowelment. She really had not understood. Kagome's face twisted with loathing and regret. She really didn't understand a lot of things about the half-boy she supposedly loved.

No. None of that. Just because she was feeling sorry for herself didn't mean that she should question the love she felt for him. That was solid and immoveable. She loved Inuyasha.

The boy she had sat in front of his worst foe…

Kagome sighed and found herself glancing once again at the rosary around Inuyasha's neck. Its purpose at first was for her own protection—it really had been a collar—and then it had progressed into a tool she could use to protect him. Yet, even more so, if she was willing to admit it, it was also her own selfish way to mark him as her own. Kagome shook her head in irritation. That was just another way of calling it a collar again! But Kagome couldn't help fearing that if she took it off…Inuyasha would run away forever…

Like a dog being let loose from a chain…

Kagome sighed again. She really wasn't going to be sleeping with thoughts like these.

Rin let out a whimper of discomfort which brought Kagome back to reality. Her lower lip twisted in concern and the teenage girl took out a cloth to wipe Rin's sweaty brow. The hut was stocked with medicine and gauze and blankets, now that the well was free, but still the condition of the illness sweeping the village had not eased. However, Rin had seemed to get in a few hours of rest without twisting or throwing up.

Kagome hoped that was a good sign and not something to lull everyone into a false state of security.

Things had been rather quite since the hanyou pup had left. Nagaharu sipped his tea thoughtfully as his fireside mates remained quizzically solemn. Usually they would be booming with laughter by now from bad jokes and tall tales. But it seemed that meeting the famed and scandalous hanyou prince, for even such a short amount of time, had left them biting their tongues.

Nagaharu, being the leader, felt it his duty to bring up the topic they had all tried to avoid.

Gengo beat him to the punch.

"I fear for his life." The tiger youkai's soft spoken words would have fit more properly within a conversation that actually existed. But the group had all been thinking the same thoughts for a while so his meaning was immediately understood. Nagaharu couldn't help smirking. Ah, his chance of being the mysterious and inspiring leader had been snatched by the large girth of a demon who hardly spoke. Funny.

Well, he was just going to have to be the one who answered. Second place was okay.

Jinsei took that from him too. "I agree. And yet I wonder if there issss a life to fear for." The lizard was punched in the shoulder, rather forcefully, by Fumina. She did not appear to appreciate his reality check. No one did—not even Jinsei.

Nagaharu hitched in a breath and raised his hand to interject but was quickly deflated by the aforementioned cat demon. She had calmed herself down and was wringing her hands. "I feel guilty that we just let him leave. If…if that Lord Sesshomaru does kill him…I'll feel responsible."

He had the perfect words to say! The most brilliant words that could only come from the mind of an awe-filled leader of grave-robbers!

"We all feel the same way, Fumina."

"I ssssuppose our only solution is to make our visit earlier than planned then."

"He may not appreciate it. And it is a human village too."

"Could cause panic."

"They have a hanyou living in their midsssst. Perhaps they are more open minded than most humans."

"Maybe. We should visit anyway. I want to know that he's okay."

"When?"

"Why not set out now? We had no destination in mind really. There hasn't been another battle for days."

"True. The day has barely started. Let's g—wait, do we know where the village is?"

"Did Lord Inuyasha mention it?"

"No, he isss secretive."

"Nagaharu met him at a well. Maybe it wasn't too far from there."

"Where isss the well?"

"Oh, I don't know."

"We can try to track him by smell."

"But we're not dog demons."

"My kind has a fairly adequate sensssse of ssssmell. I shall try."

"Well good, there you have it. We have a plan!"

"Rocky."

"Yes, but I feel better knowing that we're going."

"Yesss."

"Everyone done eating?"

"Yes."

"Than let's head out!"

Nagaharu remained in the position he had been when Fumina had first interrupted, his finger drooped and his mouth hanging open. Already his gang was cleaning up. Fabric ruffled and snow crunched as they stood to their feet. The sound of excited activity stilled and Nagaharu looked up to find all three of them waiting expectantly.

"Well?" Fumina purred. "Aren't you coming boss?"

Nagaharu's throat caught air but the coyote sighed it back out. He pulled his hand back down.

And nodded.

But it was the dignified nod of a grand grave-robbing leader, no doubt about that!

The howling winds of Nature had long gone into slumber and for a moment the world surrounding the village was calm. The patrons of the village knew that the calm would not last forever for it was the sort of uneasy tranquility that surrounds a sleeping beast. Nonetheless, those who remained healthy ventured out to finish duties that had been put on hold because of the storms.

The Jewel-Hunting Gang were very thankful for such a prolonged break in the weather. For Inuyasha and Kagome especially, it was an opportunity for distracting work and an excuse to not be around each other. Kagome's reasons were feelings of guilt but Inuyasha's reasons went much deeper.

The hanyou was terribly conflicted.

He couldn't bring himself to hate Kagome for it was his brother that earned such hatred. However, even seeing her brought about a sickly sourness in his chest. His distress and dislike for the rosary had been crudely awakened into full blown maturity. Even now, as he laid roofing on the hut that Sesshomaru and he had destroyed in their dangerous game of tag, the necklace about his neck bounced irritatingly against his chest. With every movement, Inuyasha could swear he felt a sort of twinge in his spirit. It was connected to his soul after all, correct? But that was crazy talk. It was really that the bouncing was constantly reminding him that he was chained…that he was controlled…

That he was tamed.

The sourness grew. Inuyasha made a disgusted noise with his tongue and kept working.

He didn't want to be angry with her so he directed the anger at himself.

It was getting so easy to do that lately.

Inuyasha finished the roofing job and sat back on his haunches, wiping his brow. He glanced at his hand which was holding the hammer and half-heartedly noticed its trembling. Being stuck at that camp of Shirabaku's, unconscious against his will, had helped his demon blood heal the damage done by the illness. But even so, he was still recovering and was already pushing himself.

But he always pushed himself. Who really cared?

Inuyasha jumped down to the ground and was greeted by Kaede. She handed him a large bowl full of water. They had run out of Kagome's water bottles and she had left an hour ago to gather more, along with other futuristic supplies. They didn't really need more but Kagome insisted—just to be sure! What if the well is sealed up by another storm? It's better to be prepared! Inuyasha knew the real reason. He handed the bowl back and muttered his gratitude.

They stood idly in silence for about a minute.

"She has managed to eat again," Kaede finally said. "Her body is no longer rejecting sustenance."

Inuyasha grunted. Rin had been slowly getting better over the past week. He was vastly relieved. Not because he was afraid of what Sesshomaru would do if she died in his care…no…he just didn't want to see any more children die. That was why.

"It is really because of Kagome's medicine that she has made it to this point." Inuyasha's eyebrows furrowed. He knew where this was going. Kaede heaved a sigh, "Has she apologized to you yet?"

Inuyasha blinked, not quite expecting that. He was expecting something more like: Don't be so selfish! Can't you see she feels sorry for what she did? Get over there and make up. You are causing problems for everyone!

He thought back to that night in the forest when he had surprised her.

"I have a much better word for you…Wanna hear it?"

She had been glad to see him alive and had run up to him, her face twisting with relief and suppressed tears. But right as she got close enough to embrace him—what he had been expecting—Kagome had abruptly stopped herself. Her breathy puffs of air transformed into vapor and floated up in the space between them. She then had looked up and simply said, "I'm glad you're okay."

The walk back to Kaede's hut that night had been oddly quiet and awkward. He had walked ahead of her. In an off-hand way she had muttered, "Did they hurt you?" Her whispered words cut through the silence of the wintry landscape far too painfully.

He had grunted out, "No. They only wanted to talk to me."

He could almost hear her flinch. She retorted angrily, "They kidnapped you just to talk to you! You must be lying! Did they threaten you? Was…" At that moment, she hesitated as though her next words were going to be a detonator for something horrible. They turned out to be. "Was it Sesshomaru who did it?"

Inuyasha had paused, his insides growing cold at the sound of his name. "No." It had been strange even to him that he hadn't yelled. He just didn't have the fire to yell right then. His mind was still reeling with the information Shirabaku had given him.

"Oh." Her sadness was evident but he didn't answer to its call.

There were no words until they reached Kaede's and even there, Inuyasha had not spoken much of what had happened at the General's camp. It was not their business. Nonetheless, he supposed he would tell them soon but for now…it was his to digest and figure out. It was his to keep secret.

But out of all the awkwardness and pain that had occurred that night, out of all the confused and conflicted feelings, Inuyasha had found one resolution. It was a resolution he was not going to besmirch any time soon, at no time at all, never.

He was never going to help Sesshomaru again.

Inuyasha returned to the present and said, "No, she hasn't. We haven't talked much."

Kaede nodded in understanding. She looked up in the direction of the well. "I see. There certainly have been worse fights between you too. Louder fights I mean. But this one seems to be a…the determining factor."

Inuyasha crossed his arms and leaned against the newly built and finished structure. "What are you babbling about now, you old hag?"

Kaede gracefully ignored the insult. "The outcomes of this battle will determine if your relationship with Kagome will go on."

Inuyasha's body tensed. "What?" The way she had said it was more shocking to him than the words she had said. It was like she was announcing someone's impending death.

Truthfully, he had known all along that there was a giant rift between Kagome and him because of that incident…a rift that really had been growing every time she had sat him. His revulsion for the collar had been growing more prevalent over the last few months. And he also knew that if the rift was not crossed, their relationship would remain like this: cold, silent, and brooding. It was important to him that things were resolved but—the sourness in his chest swelled for a brief moment—he was not going to be the one forced into fixing everything. Not again. This time…it really was not his fault.

Kaede looked him square in the eye, "I do not agree with how she has used that rosary. It has been convenient at times in the past. Your wild spirit required some taming lest you destroyed everything around you." Inuyasha huffed at the word taming but he wondered if he could not agree with her. In the beginning, he was willing to kill Kagome; to do anything to get the jewel. Kaede continued, "But you have proven yourself. You have protected this village before without Kagome's prodding. You have grown kinder. And it was not because of Kagome's ability to immobilize you."

Inuyasha was growing uncomfortable with the conversation. It reminded him of when Kagome once said that he "was practically a saint". It was just not how he perceived himself. Unknowingly to him, Inuyasha's cheeks flushed.

Kaede noticed and smiled to herself. She looked off to the well again. "You have every right to be angry with her. But I hope that you will not ignore her when she is ready to apologize. Now to accept her apology…that will be your decision alone."

Inuyasha didn't acknowledge it when she walked away. He was left pondering deeply about her words…and feeling a little like he was being tricked. All those times before it had always been deemed his fault and his responsibility to kick his pride when it was down and apologize first. But now…

He'd admit that he felt a kind of wicked glee but there was pity there too. Apologizing was difficult crap. Inuyasha craned his head up to look at the gray sky and felt an urge that he was surprised of. He didn't quell it. He chuckled. But the mirth of the moment soon died and his small smirk wilted.

That kindness Kaede had mentioned…It wasn't kindness.

It was weakness. It had been what prompted him to help his brother in the first place right? It was because of what that "kindness" had made him do that had proven to him once and for all everything that he had secretly hoped wasn't true. And now the disastrous decision he had made because of his "kindness" had prompted him to have his resolution.

Weakness.

He wanted to get rid of that weakness. But he was a hanyou. Weakness was his heritage.

Inuyasha closed his eyes.

He was brought back to that age old question:

Did he want to become full demon?