Remember those issues I said I'd worked out? Yeah... They didn't work out...

Its been a really screwed up existance for me over the last few months. I kinda lost interest in writing due to some serious family issues I had to deal with. I got kinda depressed for awhile, especially after what could be considered the worst day of my life, which I think it would be best not to discuss here right now.

But have you ever heard the saying "Its always darkest before the dawn?" Well, its true. I hit rock bottom, and began to claw my way back up. Life started to get better. I became my usual happy self again. And then...

I got a girlfriend! I know... Shocking, isn't it? She's absolutely amazing. She's funny, beautiful, and just as crazy as I am. She's a huge anime fan, too.She especially loves Bleach! And she likes to write fan fiction, no less... Since I met her, I've never been happier. So now, after several months of absence, I've decided to start writing again. You can thank my girlfriend's awesomeness and the constant nagging of my best friend Dr. Insane-O for this, folks...

In fact, due to my girlfriend's awesomeness and her liking of my stories, she'll be showing up in this story as well! Woe unto all who cross her path... Including me! XD

Captain Ukitake, leader of Squad 13, was enjoying a peaceful mid-afternoon nap, when suddenly he heard a knocking at his door. His private quarters, located in the midst of his own personal garden, did not recieve visitors often. So as the silver-haired Captain slowly arose from his futon, and put on his Captain's Robe, he could not help but mutter, "I have a bad feeling about this..."

And his feelings were well founded. Upon sliding open the front door, he discovered his co-3rd seats Sentaro and Kiyone standing before him, with massive grins adorning their faces. "Greetings, Captain Ukitake!" they both exclaimed with a respectful bow. Behind them stood a third person, who's identity was obscured by a large white sheet thrown over his persona.

"To what do owe the pleasure of a visit from you two?" Captain Ukitake smiled peacefully, ignoring the object behind them.

"We brought you a present!" Kiyone grinned.

"We think you'll like it!" Sentaro commented.

"Well, what is it?" Captain Ukitake arched an eyebrow at the two.

"Me..." stated a voice from beneath the sheet. Kiyone and Sentaro then spun about, gripped the fabric, and ripped it off of the person behind them. The person was revealed to be none other than Agent HUNK, who was wrapped in several layers of rope and chain. "What's up, mon capitan?" the Author chuckled.

"YOU!" Captain Ukitake exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at the "murderer" in front of him. He then began to cough violently, and sank to his knees clutching his chest. "How dare you... show your face... you murderer!" he managed to gasp between coughs.

"Captain!" the two 3rd seat Shinigami's both gasped as they rushed to their Captain's aid.

Meanwhile, Agent HUNK managed to wiggle his way out of the ropes and chains, which easily came loose. "I can understand your rage, but please listen to me..." the Author sighed. "I came to speak with you because I know you're the most level-headed Captain I can trust. I know that you'll give me a chance to explain my actions, and then pass the appropriate judgement on me... Correct?"

Captain Ukitake only glared at the Kevlar-clad man.

"Hm..." Agent HUNK sighed. He then snapped his fingers, and a bowl of Ramen Noodles appeared in his hand. "What if I give you food?" he asked slyly, holding the steaming bowl of deliciousness in front of the Catpain's nose.

The glare on Captain Ukitake's face dissappeared. "Step into my office..."

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"So... let me get this straight..." Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi, leader of the 12th Squad, groaned as he stared down at the smiling face of Dr. Insane-O. "You're an Author... without Author Powers. Your best friend is Agent HUNK... and you don't know where he is. You're a mad scientist... who wears an indestructable lab coat. And you're Captain of Squad 14... despite the fact that it doesn't exist, and you have no spiritual powers. Am I correct so far?"

"Yep!" Dr. Insane-O chimed.

"I don't think he'll be much help to us, sir..." Nemu commented quietly from behind Captain Kurotsuchi.

"No, I don't think so, either..." the crazed Captain grumbled.

"Shall I kill him, sir?" Nemu enquired.

"Oh come on baby, why you gotta be like that?" Dr. Insane-O flashed a devilish smile at the Captain's daughter. "I ain't that bad, am I? Don't you wanna at least give me a chance?"

"No, I think I'll let this idiot live for now. He is, after all, a fellow scientist..." Mayuri Kurotsuchi grinned. He then drew his sword, and poked Dr. Insane-O's stomach lightly, albiet with enough force to barely break the skin. Instantly, the Author hit the ground, and did not get up. "But I think I'll let him suffer for awhile, though, just for causing me so much trouble. I think he made my IQ drop several points, in fact... The paralysis of my sword's poison won't wear off for several hours, if not days, due to his weak spiritual and Authorial powers. Come, Nemu! Let us find the other Author, or what's left of him, and use him as our test subject..."

And with that, the Captain and his Luietenant turned and walked away, leaving Dr. Insane-O paralyzed face-down in an alley. "Hellooooo?" Dr. Insane-O groaned once he was all alone. "Captain down... Captain down... Send back-up... Preferably Rukia... Urrrgh..."

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Jidanbo the Gate Guard was sitting in front of his gate to the Seireitei, napping peacefully in the afternoon sun. As he enjoyed theserenity of his dreams,a soft voice suddenly permeated his subconscious. "Excuse me... Can I ask you something?" With a snort, the massive Shinigami awoke. He staggered to his feet slowly, and looked down at the person standing in front of him. He arched an eyebrow, unsure of what to make of what he saw.

Standing in front of him, was a young girl in her late teens, wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black jacket. Her hair was shoulder-length and semi-curly, and her pretty blue eyes sparkled with innocence. Strangely, a pair of black fox ears protruded from this hair, and she also sported a bushy black fox tail as well. "Hello..." she waved timidly, her voice soft and polite. "I was wondering if you could answer a few questions for me..."

"I don't see why not..." Jidanbo's voice boomed, echoing through the immediate area. "Just don't try to get through the gate, or I'll have to stop you. My name is Jidanbo, and I am the Gate Keeper. What is your name, and how may I be of service to you?"

"My name is Kitsune!" the girl smiled cheerfully. "I'm looking for somebody, actually..."

"Aw..." Jidanbo smiled. "Are you trying to meet a lost loved one on the other side? How sweet..."

"Not exactly..." the girl shook her head. "Have you heard of a guy named Agent HUNK?"

Jidanbo paled. "A... Agent HUNK? What do you know about him?"

"Aha!" Kitsune exclaimed, pointing a finger at the sky. "So he IS here!"

"Yes, he's here!" Jidanbo replied incredulously. "He's the most wanted man alive right now, although there are reports that he's dead..."

"Yeah right..." Kitsune rolled her eyes. "I doubt he'd die here so quickly... He's come out of worse places without a scratch."

"How do you know him?" Jidanbo stared the woman in disbelief.

"I'm his girlfriend!" she replied with a happy grin. "And I'm here to save him from the Soul Reapers! Or vice versa..."

"So if you find him, you'll take him back to the human world?" Jidanbo continued to stare at her.

"Yeah, pretty much..." Kitsune shrugged.

"THANK YOU!" Jidanbo suddenly yelled. He quickly spun about, grabbed the gate, and lifted it up off the ground. "You may enter! Please, find him as soon as you can, and take him far, far away from here!"

"What has he done, exactly?" Kitsune arched an eyebrow as she passed beneath the gate.

"He killed several Soul Reapers in cold blood, and has eluded even the strongest Captains for several days!" Jidanbo explained. He then released the gate, and allowed it to slam back down behind the girl. "Good luck! And please... HURRY!"

"Hmmm..." Kitsune pondered the situation she was now in. She was trapped in the Seireitei, which would probably end up leading to her getting in trouble. She had to find her boyfriend, and bail him out of whatever trouble he'd managed to get himself into. And of course, there was Dr. Insane-O, who was always fun to deal with. "Hm... I'd better go ahead and track down Agent HUNK..." she sighed. "The sooner I find him, the sooner I can let him know JUST HOW PISSED OFF I AM!" she snarled. "He'd better hope the Shinigamis get him before I do! HAHAHAHAHA!" she cackled insanely,a sadistic grin (similar to the one often worn by Alucard from Hellsing) upon her face. "Ooooh, this is going to be fun..."

Hide me... EEP!

I doubt anybody cares about this story, but if they do, the next update will be next week. I'll be without a computer for the next few days... But don't worry! The next update won't take 6 months to come about... I hope! XD

Thanks for reading! See ya!