A/N. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I am really happy that you liked it because it was so important to me and it was really hard to write. Man, I miss Logan. You don't even know. I'm going to cry again. All right. I don't own anything.

"My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with." - 'Because of You' by Kelly Clarkson.

"Carlos! What's wrong?" Kendall dropped to his knees on the kitchen beside Carlos. His friend was staring blankly and tears seemed suspended in his dark eyes. He didn't even seem to hear Kendall. Kendall put a hand on Carlos' shoulder and shook him gently. "Carlos, answer me!" He pleaded. His voice shook and he felt his own eyes fill with tears when Carlos didn't even blink. He had just gotten his friend back and he couldn't lose him again.

He only vaguely noticed Carlos' parents on the floor with them as they tried to get Carlos to snap out of his shock. Mr. Garcia had picked up the phone to see if the caller was still on but it was of no use. They had hung up. "Carlos, please." Kendall choked on a sob. "What's wrong."

Suddenly Carlos seemed to come to life again and it was almost worse. He started shaking and he leaned his head to bury it in Kendall's shoulder. Then he was sobbing so hard that even he did try to talk it was impossible to understand anything. Kendall wrapped both of his arms around Carlos and pulled him into a tight hug. Something was dreadfully wrong and he had no idea what it could be. But his stomach clenched painfully in fear and he found that he was crying too.

Finally, Carlos' violent sobs quieted and he lifted his head. Everyone ceased their nervous chatter to look to look at him for an answer. He squeezed his eyes shut as if he didn't want to see their faces when he delivered the awful news. "That was Mr. Diamond." He whispered and Kendall felt his heart skip a beat. He opened his mouth to speak but he was frozen in fear. "They're in the hospital. James tried to kill himself."

The air left Kendall's lungs just like it did when he was checked into the boards during a game. If he hadn't already been on the ground, he surely would have fallen. He blinked at Carlos and struggled to speak. "What?" He finally whispered.

"James," Carlos' answer was a choked out sob. "He. . . they. . . his parents. . . they went to go check on him. . . he was in his room. . . and he was asleep. . . they couldn't wake him up. . ." He lifted his gaze once more to Kendall's tortured green eyes. "The doctors said that he overdosed."

This can't be happening. Kendall managed to take a deep breath, the action sending a burning pain through his damaged lungs. This is a nightmare. He closed his eyes and opened them again only to discover that nothing and everything had changed at the same time. Not James. Please not James. We can't lose him too. He wanted to scream his thoughts out loud but his lungs wouldn't allow the pressure that the strain would cause and his voice refused to work above a whisper anyway. "No." He was also reduced to speaking one word at a time.

He would have given almost anything in the world to have Carlos take back his words. He didn't even care if it all turned out to be some horrible, sick joke. He wanted it to be a horrible, sick joke. He wanted Carlos to start laughing manically and tell them that he was kidding and that James himself had called, telling the other two boys to get their butts over to his house so they could all hang out again. But instead, Carlos simply nodded.

"We have to go." Kendall felt like he was in a dream. He felt like the whole thing was an out-of-body experience because he didn't know how he stood up and pulled Carlos to his feet. He didn't know how his limbs worked as his arms pulled his coat back on and helped Carlos with his jacket. He didn't know how he walked out to the Garcia's van and climbed in the back seat with Carlos. He didn't even check to see if Carlos' parents were following them but suddenly they were in the front seat and they were driving to the hospital.

The world rushed by but in slow motion. Kendall leaned his forehead on the seat in front of him and waited for the ride to be over. He wanted to stay like that, with his face pressed so hard into the upholstery that he couldn't see anything. But something made him pull his head up and he looked at Carlos. The younger boy had his knees drawn up to his chest and he was staring out the window. The sight suddenly reminded Kendall of the way James had always sunk into himself when Logan was sick or when he had died. It was too much. He sat up and pulled Carlos closer to him. His friend lay limply in his arms and fear shook Kendall all over again. "Carlos, please. I need you." He bent his head to Carlos' and let the tears fall. Then he felt Carlos change his position just enough so that he could return the embrace and the miniscule sense of relief kept him from snapping completely. They held onto each other until the car came to a stop in front of the hospital entrance.

The cold air hit them but neither boys noticed or cared. They nodded their heads mechanically when Carlos' parents said something about finding and parking place and calling Kendall's mother and then they walked into the hospital.

The familiar atmosphere tore away what little calm Carlos had. He detached himself from Kendall and rushed over to the front desk. "We're here for James Diamond!" He exclaimed loudly.

The young receptionist looked at him questioningly. "Are you family?" She asked, with doubt in her voice.

"We're his best friends!" Carlos told her impatiently. "That's James Diamond." Hysteria was beginning to creep into his voice. "J-a-m-e-s and-"

"I can't give any information to non-family members. Do-"

"His parents called us!" Carlos yelled in her face. Tears were streaming down his face again. "Please. We need him. He's our brother."

His words confused the receptionist and she held up a finger indicating them to wait.

"We can't wait!" Carlos protested desperately. "We've already waited too long! Please!"

"Carlos." Kendall croaked out. He reached out to his friend, afraid that he would only pull away. But he didn't and Kendall could breath when he felt Carlos hugging him again. He felt his legs shake and wobble and just as they began to crumble there was a strong pair of arms that led them over to chairs in the waiting room and Kendall realized that the reason they were still together was because James' parents were holding onto them.

They had spent a lot of time in the waiting room when Logan was sick but they never got used to the way that time seemed to slow down and the fear that they could barely conceal even when Logan went in for a simple check-up. But things were still different. They were in Minnesota not LA. Instead of pacing like he always had, Kendall sat as still as a stone, one arm wrapped in a vise-like grip around Carlos' shoulders. And instead of waiting for the doctors' latest news about Logan's cancer, they were waiting to hear if James had survived his drug overdose. After that came another question: Did he even want to live anymore? Obviously he had wanted to die. That was why he took the pills in the first place.

Carlos twisted his fingers nervously, trying to keep his hands from shaking. James had always been passionate. He cared so much about everyone and everything that it could be amusing and frightening at the same time. If he and Kendall hadn't been so wrapped up in their own sorrow and grief. . . they weren't entirely to blame but they still should have seen it coming and prevented it. They had promised Logan that they would stick together. The consequences of breaking that promise were far more severe than Carlos should have ever imagined. How would they move on if- But Carlos refused to finish that thought. It was too terrifying. To distract himself from his own terror and grief, he looked up at the faces around him.

His parents sat with his five sisters, trying to amuse the younger girls even though all of them were silent with solemn looks on their faces as if they knew something was dreadfully wrong. Carlos didn't even know if they knew exactly what was going on. The only thing they knew was that James wasn't there with them so that something must be wrong with him.

Both of Kendall's parents were there and Carlos found in painfully ironic that they were sitting together, Mrs. Knight's hand gripping tightly to her ex husband's hand. Katie sat with them, her face void of any emotion as if she were too much in shock.

James' mother had long run dry of tears. She sat slumped over in her chair, twisting a ragged tissue in shaking hands. Every now and then she shook with a stray sob and blotted her face with the abused tissue. Her husband was holding her together but looked minutes away from self-destruction himself. They looked lost.

Kendall was still and silent. He hadn't moved or spoken since James' parents had told them what had happened. He didn't even react when his parents and Katie had showed up with Carlos' sisters. The lone comfort in his rigid posture was the arm he kept securely wrapped around Carlos as if he was afraid that he might leave. Carlos wouldn't leave if his life depended on it. He couldn't.

What made the whole experience hurt even worse was the fact that it was Logan's birthday. Carlos felt his eyes fill once again at the thought. Logan. None of this should have ever happened. Logan never should have gotten so sick in the first place and he certainly never should have died. They shouldn't be sitting in the waiting room, waiting in pure agony to see what would happen to James. They should be celebrating Logan's twentieth birthday. But that would never happen. They were stuck in their own personal hell. Life wasn't fair but did it have to be this unfair?

"We're not going to lose him." Kendall spoke the words so softly that only Carlos could hear. He tightened his grip on Carlos and drew him closer. "We can't. I just got you back and I'm not about to lose James. . . or you again."

Carlos understood. Kendall was afraid of what would happen if James died. He was afraid that history would repeat itself and that they would fall away from each other all over again. Carlos had the same fear. He rested his head on Kendall's shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere." He whispered. His voice broke slightly and when Kendall leaned closer into him, their tears mingled. Carlos heard his friend draw in a ragged breath as he struggled to not completely lose it again. He heard Kendall assure him that he wouldn't leave him again and a small sense of peace settled over them. Whatever happened, they would have each other.

"James Diamond?"

Carlos nearly fell off his chair when Kendall straightened up quickly at the doctor's words. They hadn't even heard the man approach but now that they realized he was there, everyone's attention was focused on him. His grave face eased into a reassuring smile and Carlos found that he could breath again. "James is resting comfortably now. He's going to be fine."

"Can we see him?" Mr. Diamond managed to ask. He and his wife looked liked they could barely stand, their faces matching expressions, begging the doctor.

He nodded and then held out his hand. "I'm Doctor Charles White. You can see James but I'd like to speak to you first." His tone was gentle but everyone knew what he wanted to talk to James' parents about.

The couple nodded simultaneously and then Mrs. Diamond turned to Kendall and Carlos. "Will you boys go see him? I don't want him to be alone."

Gratitude didn't begin to describe the feeling that washed over Carlos. All he wanted was to see James, whether he was awake or not. He and Kendall nodded quickly and stood up to follow Doctor White to their best friend.

A/N. So yeah, it was short and not much happened. But I needed to do this from Kendall's and Carlos' POV and now it's done and I hope you liked it. Please review!