SESSION FIVE:

Jo looked around the front room of Eureka's bed and breakfast. She had no reason to be here and the place was actually closed down since Beverly's duplicity had been discovered.

Speak of the devil…

"Hello, Jo. Thank you for coming. Tea?" Beverly set down the tray she was carrying and took a seat. Jo's hand flit to her sidearm but the holster was empty. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, that's because you're an evil manipulative bitch on the run from the law."

"Says the girl hiding her own secrets from the law. I don't see you stepping forward to admit what you did to the world. But enough of that, I'm well aware you don't trust me. Which brings me to the question, why are you using my VR therapy device?"

Jo realized that the VR could only do as it was programmed and only knew what Jo knew. She took a seat and played along.

"I just needed a leg up on some things. Zoe told me about the device, what it does… don't use it with a head injury…"

"But what's your goal? What are you trying to accomplish?"

"I need to move on from the past."

"But you haven't talked to Zane about what happened before. You were in a very serious relationship. Relationships involve people being emotionally, physically, and mentally invested in each other. You differentiate between the Zane you were in love with and the Zane you see at work every day. Maybe your subconscious can't make that distinction.

"Being in love is a wonderful thing. But it requires that you stop and live in the moment, which is one of the reasons you over-romanticized everything. You have to accept that your loved ones will hurt you at some point. So you have to choose between loving someone, no matter how long or short it may last, and self preservation. The simplest way to decide is to ask yourself: would I do anything, would I die to prevent this person from pain?"

"It's my job to protect people."

"From emotional pain?"

"I would do whatever possible, but I wouldn't die in that case, no."

"Why not?"

"Because they would get over it. Eventually."

"Exactly! So why, Jo, are you causing yourself harm to prevent yourself from being hurt by Zane? You're not sleeping or eating properly, you drink yourself blind more than not. Where's the Jo that believes her body is a temple? You're changing some pretty basic truths about yourself.

You've felt a lot of pain, Jo. You were taught how to handle it. But only physical pain that comes with war. Emotional pain is much trickier. It takes longer to get over, years, your whole life it can fester. There's a lot of fear involved with emotional pain. Just like that raw, clammy, panic-inducing fear you felt when Zane proposed. You were so terrified of feeling, or causing, the pain you watched your father cope with everyday after your mother left."

Jo whipped the visor off and sat on the edge of her bed. No one, no one, had ever said that out loud. 'Mom's going on vacation. She'll be back soon.' but she never came back. No matter how many times Jo asked, called, or wrote her. Mom never came back. It was always just 'soon'. 'Someday'. And then 'someday' became never. But somehow they were still waiting for her. Even to this day. And now Jo needed to move on from the past.

Jo took a breath and plunged back into the VR. Beverly was waiting with a cup in her hands.

"I know all the facts you know, Jo. But I see them a little differently. Your mother knew she was going to die a long, slow, painful death. She chose to shield you from watching her lose the war with terminal cancer. She wanted you to remember her as she was. Not fill your childhood with hospital beds, needles, and the smell of sickness and death. That was her choice. You need to respect her wishes. But you don't need to agree with them."

Jo scoffed and looked out the window, seeing the scene play out of her last moments with her mother. The suitcases by the door. The fake smile and hidden tears.

"Neither do you need to follow her example with Zane."

"That's not true! I'm not… It's not the same."

"Ok, then. Explain to me how you are not running from any kind of emotional interaction with Zane because of the pain you experienced in your relationship."

"We don't fit! We don't need to do the whole song and dance over again in this reality to figure that out. And I can't trust him! He's a child! He's playing along for now but the minute he gets bored or things don't go his way, he'll stab us in the back."

"That's not fair, Jo. That's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You treat him with mistrust and he won't ever trust you in return thus leading to this betrayal. Didn't you have fun? Weren't there more good times than bad? Didn't you both grow as people because of your influence on each other? He balked when you got serious. But then a few months later, he proposed. What does that say?"

"But he's… different. Things are complicated."

"Complicated how? Like busting someone's ass everyday while wearing the lingerie he bought you? Different? Too different to try? To find out if things could work between you this time? Different is another word for new. At GD you need to embrace the new; new people, new ideas, new frontiers. You can't be afraid of different. Cut yourself some slack, Jo. You're doing a great job. You don't need to make things work with Zane but you're working too hard to make sure they don't. Quit fighting it. You're changing your whole personality to fight this off. It's not working. Relax and live your life. If your career fulfills you, focus on it. But quit running from love and life. You have a chance to be happy, Jo. Don't waste it. Talk to Zane about before, explain your situation and be open to what he has to say. But get out of this VR and start living your life again. Or you could keep running. Running away from yourself, your problams, and what you want from life... straight to General Mansfield's firing squad."