"Melody? Earth to my daughter please." My eyes focused again and I saw Charlie standing in front of me waving his hand. I must have zoned out for a minute here.
"What? oh sorry Dad, I zoned out I guess." I shrugged, pretending like there wasn't some kind of emotional hurricane storming into my head. I didn't want to cause the old man a headache.
"You guess? You were in here for fifteen minutes. You sure you are okay? I can call doctor Cullen if you need anything.." in his mind he let me see what he meant. I saw myself leaning against the counter, motionless, phone in hand and not even breathing. I was happy, though, he had let me stand there without interrupting. I had needed the fifteen minute break from the normal world. Not that the place I went in my head was a happy place to be; it was more like pure hell, but I needed to face my past and try to get over my grieving. I had thought about my mother, my appearance, my siblings, Edward Cullen, the accident...I shook my head. I didn't want to zone out again and I absolutely didn't want Charlie to call doctor Cullen.
"Oh Dad, no. you don't have to do that. I was just…you know.. a little lost…I…I was thinking about..di mia Mamma.." I felt the traitorous tears welling up again. I tried to force them back but it wouldn't. a loud, painful sob broke loose, my knees lost their stance and my Dad caught me with his save embrace. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered where Bella was, but I was to enhanced in my own grieve and pain that I didn't worry about it so much. Not now. Now It was my time to let go of the memories that had caused me so much pain. Charlie knew something had happened last year and that I was covered with scars. He had visited me for a week while I was in the hospital. He had never heard the true story. We didn't want him to hear such things. How monsters violated his children. How dangerous our nightly hunts were. We wanted to protect him from us, the hybrids, the half-bloods. Another heart wrenching sob shot out of my throat. I noticed Charlie had placed me on my bed. he had brought me upstairs, carrying me with his human arms. He didn't care it hurt. He wanted to make sure I was fine. And he knew I wasn't. Far from it. He let me cry for a few more minutes and when it slowed down to soft sniffing, he spoke up.
"I know you and your siblings don't want to tell me what happened that night. And I've accepted and understood it. But if you don't tell me what's going on, I can't help you. And I want to help you, Melodiana. You're my Baby Swan and I want to help you. I want to understand it, everything. From diets to appearances. Everything. " I blinked the tears away from my eyes and looked up at my father. He looked tired, old even. I felt like a little girl again. When I was younger, the first time Mom left, I'd had a moment like this, too. He let me curse and scream until I had razed out. And it was relieving. But this time I couldn't.
"Dad, I-I know. And I w-wish I could tell you, but I'm not ready f-for that yet. It's so,…" my voice cracked, I didn't recognized it. It was hollow, lifeless. Absolutely not me. I've always been shy, but crazy. Laughing about everything, running around in the rain, singing and dancing like there was no tomorrow. But I didn't do that anymore. I wasn't that girl anymore.
"I know, sweetie, I know. It's hard. Believe me if I say I keep thinking about her too…" Charlie's voice was gruff. I indeed knew he thought about her a lot. I saw the memories, but only the nice ones. Memories of my mother holding each of us for the first time. memories of her taking care of me when I fell, which I did, and still do, a lot. That was great time. A time where no one could hurt me, or leave me a scar. Now I was full of them. I had been scarred. She, our mother, was our angel, our savior. But it was her who hurt us the most, by leaving.
"Melody?" my father asked me hesitantly. He hid his thoughts from me, something he did when he was afraid of my reaction. "Yes, Dad?"
"Can I,…see…your scars?" he looked me straight in the eye when he asked me this, something he never did when he was emotional or pained. He'd never wanted to see them or face this, so the question caught me completely off guard.
"You don't have to if you don't want to…"
"No, Dad, it's okay. I think I can handle it. I just hope you can handle it."