Chapter 13/ Graduation

Graduating a year later than your brother, but being five years apart was definitely unusual. Hiro was more than just unusual for a thirteen year old boy. He was brilliant. A person so young understood things about the world, that most middle aged adults struggled with on a day to day basis. Hiro's comprehension was not just advanced, it was limitless. He was not just capable of understanding things at a higher level, he was also able to create, and evolve the world into so much more.

Tadashi couldn't be more proud of his younger brother. His first year of college was just ending, and now Hiro was about to graduate high school. The older one was thrilled to have his brother start attending SFIT in the fall with him. He had done a lot of raving about his younger brother there, and all his friends were pretty stoked to meet this boy genius.

Hiro was pretty excited to attend SFIT as well with Tadashi. They spent a good portion of the year bouncing around ideas, and how much easier it would be to see them through once the two of them both started attending. Mochi needed an upgrade on her rocket shoes, and Hiro had been trying to convince his brother for months now that they just had to make a robot that was programmed to know karate.

"We'll see Hiro, you have to get in first, remember." He reminded a week before his graduation.

"I know, I know. I just gotta think of something awesome for the showcase." Hiro said, sucking in his breath to hold back from saying he still hadn't thought anything. At least he still had plenty of time to figure it out.

Tadashi grinned when he noticed the younger brother's expression. "You have nothing to worry about! Wasabi, Gogo, Honey Lemon, and Fred all have said they were all more than willing to help out once you thought of something. I know it's gonna be great, so don't be afraid to think big because you have a whole team behind you to back you up." He assured Hiro, who smiled back happy to have such support from his brother.

Hiro's week was filled with finishing up research papers for three different AP classes, doing some last minute studying for tests, and lots of stress eating from Aunt Cass's café. Sure, school had practically been a cake walk for Hiro, but now that he was finally going to move on to college he started to become extremely anxious. This year had been the easiest as far as not having to deal with any bullies. In fact, a lot of the other seniors thought he was pretty cool. Sure, he was called things like "Doogie Howser" and "Jimmy Neutron", but Hiro didn't mind. He had been called much, much worse after all.

On the night before Hiro's graduation, Tadashi realized he still hadn't gotten his little brother anything. He smiled fondly when he remembered the gift Hiro had gotten for his graduation last year. Well, actually, he made it. A crumpled up piece of paper, which he used his sling shot to fling at him. Tadashi opened up the piece of paper, and inside was a small metallic something. He remembered disregarding it at first to read the note that said "Congrats Nerd", wearing a similar smile then to as he was right now. He remembered turning to Hiro after a minute holding up the small object that had been wrapped inside.

"What's this supposed to be?" he wondered half amused.

"It's a magnet." Hiro told him quirking an eyebrow at him.

Tadashi hm'd interestedly, as he attempted sticking it to a few metal things in his area. First a desk, then his key ring, a filing cabinet.

"Are you sure it's a magnet, bro? It's not sticking to anything. And what's with this weird crescent shape going on here?"

Hiro's face heated up seemingly embarrassed, "If you don't like it you can give it back."

"No, no. I am keeping it. I'll figure out what it sticks to alright?" he assured. It wasn't the first time Hiro had given him some sort of puzzle that he wanted him to figure out. The last one involved a bunch of symbols that Tadashi eventually cracked the code— Hiro had hid his actual gift in between the couch cushions in the garage. A nine-year old Hiro, had built Tadashi his version of a transformer. Using one of his old toy cars, he made it into a robot that could also be an usb port, and a device Tadashi could listen to his music on. Hiro had made his own mp3 player all on his own, and out of a hot wheel of all things. So whatever this weirdly lopsided magnet that wasn't attracted to metal, Tadashi knew what ever its real function was it was something much greater than hanging a postcard to a refrigerator. So, of course he was going to keep it.

As he recalled the gift, he couldn't help but furrow his brows together. That was still one mystery Tadashi was still not able to solve quite yet. The supposed magnet was over on his side of the room in his top dresser drawer. He took it out from time to time hoping he would figure it out, but everything he stuck it to… the thing always fell. He wondered if Hiro knew that the older one still had not figured it out. He had never approached Tadashi about it, so eventually the priority of figuring it out faded away from him. However, on a day like today, when Tadashi had to think of something to give to his brother. Remembering that he still had not known what Hiro had given him made him worry even more so that he didn't know his brother as well as he had thought.

Things Tadashi knew without a doubt about his younger brother: he was incredibly smart. Smarter than Tadashi in ways. He was really into bot fighting competitions. Building robots is how he spent practically all of his free time. He knew he struggled making friends, and considered Tadashi to be his only friend. No matter how hard Tadashi pushed for him to become more social at school, Hiro always brushed him off. But what else did he know? Sure he knew his favorite movie, favorite color, and things like that. But beyond that, what were Hiro's hopes, or dreams for the future? What did he spend his time thinking about when he wasn't thinking about robots…? He knew the younger one wouldn't care to admit it much, but Tadashi could tell that Hiro looked up to him. Hiro liked to follow him around a lot in his younger years, which eventually turned into them spending hours starting new projects together.

Through all that time their Aunt Cass has been supportively trying out all their new robots that were supposed to aid her with chores, but often ended up becoming a hindrance of some kind. When Hiro was about seven years old, Tadashi helped the younger brother build a device that would clean the bathroom all on its own. Unfortunately, the bot didn't know its own strength, and ended up tearing off the faucet to the sink in the middle of polishing it spotless.

It's been just about a year since Tadashi had graduated high school, and the fact he still didn't know the purpose of the magnet Hiro gave him made him feel like there was a whole part of Hiro he still had yet to try to understand. Even after everything they've been through he felt like a failure because Hiro really had stumped him on this one.

Eventually Tadashi dragged himself into their nerd lab located in the garage; deciding he was going to make something for Hiro as his graduation gift. Hiro had been making Tadashi gifts ever since the age of five. Tadashi has returned the favor in the past, but it wasn't nearly as often as Hiro did for him.

He brought the so-called magnet down with him for inspiration. Except his mind seemed to wander aimlessly instead of focus on the task he had set for himself. Days pass, and Tadashi had scrapped every idea that had come to mind. Hiro's graduation was in less than seventy two hours, and the older brother was oh-so tempted to take the easy way out and just buy something he know he'd like. Except when the older brother was really set on one thing, the easy route was no longer an option.

One day before graduation and Tadashi wanted to slam his head down against the desk. Hiro was his brother for god sake… it shouldn't be this hard to think of an idea.

Could it possibly be—Electromagnetic? It had to be. Tadashi fished out the crescent shaped scrap of metal, and snapped his fingers together when it all clicked. He finally knew what the puzzle was. He couldn't quite grasp it before because it was not finished. Hiro wanted Tadashi to finish it.

"Hiro, you're going to be the death of me." He mumbled to himself, once he was about half way through. Luckily everything he needed he was able to scrounge around their lab, and find it. When it was all finished Tadashi wore a proud smile on his face. His reward was a nap on the red couch they had stashed down there. Today was Hiro's last day of school, and tomorrow they would hold a ceremony at the school. Tadashi decided he would give him his gift after that.

The older one was awoken by the loud roar of the garage door being opened. He snapped himself upright since he hadn't expected to be startled away. He smiled though, when he saw it was his little brother entering the garage.

"Hey Hiro, excited for your big day tomorrow?" Tadashi asked, but then Hiro was eerily silent. Not even a "Hey Tadashi" or "What are you doing down here?"

Tadashi sprang to his feet when he noticed Hiro turning away from him as the garage closed. He noticed the younger one was wearing his hood over his head which wasn't something he normally saw him do.

"What's going on?" Tadashi pressed, but Hiro just shook his head.

"It's nothing. I didn't think you'd be in here." He responded, his voice sounding very unlike himself.

Tadashi closed the distance between them, and turned Hiro around so he could look at him. His heart dropped when he saw the bruises on his face.

"Who did that to you?" Tadashi snapped anger rising inside him instantly.

"Some seniors. They're just jealous. Whatever it's not a big deal." Hiro mumbled wrapping his arms around his stomach.

"It's a huge deal, Hiro! Why didn't you call me or call the police or Aunt Cass?" Tadashi wondered, but he could tell the younger one was shutting him out. He knew he had to calm down, for Hiro's sake. He inhaled sharply, then went down on one knee.

"Hiro. Did they take your phone too?" he asked gently, and Hiro nodded.

"They broke it right in front of me. They stole my shoes, my backpack. They all wore masks… There was four of them. And they said they were going to kill me. I was able to hold one guy off, but the rest of them were too quick." Hiro buried his head into Tadashi's shoulder, and the older one rubbed his back gently. His stomach turning when his younger brother winced at his touch.

"What else did they do, Hiro?" Tadashi questioned, and Hiro shook his head.

"They wailed on me. Called me names like faggot… and said I was nothing. They told me all I will ever be was a shadow of you—"Hiro's voice cut off when their Aunt entered the garage. Tadashi did all the explaining, and Tadashi sat with his brother until the police arrived. Hiro recounted what just happened the best he could, and then they had to take pictures. Tadashi watched from a few feet away, and winced at all the scrapes and bruises. It wasn't until then he really took in how it went down.

They threw me against a wall

His palms all scraped up, and the left side of his cheek was also evidence of that.

They took turns punching and kicking at me, and the other one burned my arm with his cigarette

Tadashi felt a blind rage when the police officer took a picture of his arm. He was going to find out who these sons of bitches were and kill them all… Well, he wouldn't do that, but god damn it he wanted to. He wanted these assholes to burn for what they did to Hiro.

There was a lot of hugs and tears passed after dinner. Aunt Cass had ordered in, because she was too busy fussing over Hiro to cook. Tadashi and Hiro didn't go up into their bedroom until well past midnight.

"Try to get some sleep, alright?" Tadashi spoke ruffling his younger brother's hair affectionately.

Hiro shoved his hand away looking frightened, and that broke Tadashi's heart.

"I'm sorry." Hiro mumbled not meaning to react that way. "I'll try."

Tadashi nodded, reluctantly trailed over to his side of the room. Behind his divider Tadashi stripped down to his boxers since it was a rather hot night out, then slipped under his covers only to lay wide awake. He listened intently hoping that he would hear snoring, but it was dead quiet. After thirty minutes Tadashi was tempted to actually get up and check on him.

"Dashi you awake?" he heard Hiro mumble out into the stillness.

"Yeah." He answered just loud enough for Hiro to hear.

"Could I come lay in your bed?" he asked, and after Tadashi approved the older one heard his divider being pulled back.

"I don't ever want to go back to school." Hiro told him with a sniffle. "People aren't ever going to like me."

"Hiro. That's not true. Those guys were assholes— don't let them get into your head like that." Tadashi mumbled back, but Hiro was curling into his brother and shaking his head frantically.

The older one couldn't take it. He had to do something. He had to let this out. He had to… he had to help Hiro cope with this somehow. Tadashi turned so he was facing Hiro. He pulled up the boy's shirt over his head, and tried to help his arms through, but Hiro kept still out of shock. His older brother hadn't ever undressed him before.

"What are you doing?" Hiro asked.

"I'm just looking at what they did to you…" Tadashi told him, the younger one still not wriggling out of his shirt all the way. He just continued lying still.

"I'll be okay." Hiro assured, but he didn't sound very convincing. "The bruises will heal in a few weeks."

"You're letting them inside your head." Tadashi repeated, and Hiro said nothing in response.

It had been so long since Tadashi had done something bad to Hiro. Ever since Aunt Cass caught him when he had come back from camp, he remembered her words, and that kept him grounded for the most part. Except now, he was lightly tracing his fingers over the smaller one's hips moving them up to his ribcage. His touch was gentle in contrast to what Hiro had endured earlier.

"Let me inside your head instead." Tadashi breathed against Hiro's ear, and the younger one nodded quietly. With his silent permission, Tadashi laid gentle kisses on top of his bruises, and scrapes. Starting with the ones on his face, then his lips trailed down pausing at his collarbone.

"Kissing it better only worked when I was like, five, Tadashi." Hiro laughed, and the older one laughed too… but it was only brief. He kept going. Except now he was sucking, his teeth latched onto the skin of his collar bone. Hiro audibly gasped.

"Tadashi?" he called out, and the older one didn't stop. He left more bruises, until he was kissing lightly at his hip bone. His hands that were firmly holding onto his sides were tempted to go for the tent pitched underneath Hiro's pajamas.

"My bruises... will protect you from these bruises. They'll protect to you from the hurt you feel inside. I'm always with you Hiro." Tadashi spoke calmly, then moved back up so he could press his lips to Hiro's for a brief moment.

The younger one hid himself into Tadashi's side when the older one snaked his hand down in his pants. He held onto Tadashi tightly, and the older one tried not to think about the hot tears he felt on his side. He also tried not to think about that he had made his brother hard by all the kisses, and hickies he had placed on his body. He also tried to not think about how he was the exact same way. He just wanted to take care of Hiro. He just wanted him to end his night feeling something other than pain… he wanted to help him feel good inside.

The two of them had never been intimate before while Hiro was actually awake, so Tadashi couldn't imagine the whirlwind of thoughts going through his brother's mind as he clung on to his midsection. But he tried his damn best to play it off as a brotherly interaction. That he was just looking out for him. After that day the two of them never spoke about how their night had ended. Not even to each other.

When the next day rolled around, Hiro's graduation had a bitter sweet vibe. The bitter, of course was the fact he had to go to school for everyone to see how beaten up he was. The sweet part, Hiro wasn't even expecting to happen. Him and Tadashi were just in their nerd lab, snacking on food that Aunt Cass made for his graduation. When Tadashi remembered he still had to give Hiro his graduation present.

"Hey. So… I don't know if this counts as a graduation gift, but I finally figured out the gift you gave to me when I graduated." Tadashi told him.

Hiro perked up, "Let's see it!" He insisted, and Tadashi nodded fishing the piece out from his pocket.

"Catch!" he called out, and with the flick of his wrist, the crescent shape was now linked with an identical crescent shape left his hand. It danced in the air like a helicopter falling from a maple tree. Hiro caught it in his hands, and watched as the magnet clung to itself into a shape of a heart.

A little smile formed on his face, "Well I didn't exactly think you'd make it into a heart." Hiro responded, but in all honesty he liked what Tadashi did with it much better.

"Well I only had a day." Tadashi mumbled to himself, but when he noticed Hiro smiling, he caught its disease and smiled right back at him.

"Here," Hiro snapped the helicopter in half, and tosses the original piece at Tadashi. "You keep your half. And I'll keep this. That way, I don't steal back a present that was originally made for you."

Tadashi nodded, looking back at the piece he had stared at in wonder for the past year. Now that he had solved the mystery of it, he felt a rush of admiration towards Hiro. The whole 'not understanding' his younger brother had finally dissipated. The bond between the two of them felt stronger than ever. Maybe he had gone too far the night before with his younger brother, but he wasn't mentioning anything. So this was his free pass? As long as Tadashi didn't mess up like that again the two of them could just live on, and continue to be there for each other.

If only there was a way for the older brother to catch this stuff before it got that bad. Then he realized there was a way. It was definitely invasive, but the younger one didn't have to be told. In fact, it wouldn't work the way Tadashi wanted it to if Hiro knew about it. Over the course of the next few days Tadashi made GPS trackers that he put into Hiro's clothing. Which ended up being a blessing in disguise because as the months progressed Hiro started illegal bot fighting in sketchy parts of town. Tadashi conveniently there to save his little a-s-s every time.

Hiro stuck to his guns about not wanting to attend SFIT in the fall, and all the plans they made were slowly falling apart. Tadashi didn't know what to do to anymore. His brother was slowly slipping away from him. The older one had to mask the fact he was scared. His over-protectiveness became overbearing, and Hiro tried to get away from it. He really did. All while trying to spare his older brother's feelings.

I feel suffocated.

Maybe it's you who needs to take a step back.

Hell, even all the looks the younger one gave him whenever Tadashi got all in his space. Such a lost innocent expression. A look of a boy who loved and trusted his brother so unconditionally that he wouldn't put up a fuss… but still looked so lost and confused.

Hiro wasn't thirteen anymore. Tadashi wasn't living at home any longer. From where Tadashi was standing he could see Hiro's favorite spot at the bottom of the river. Tadashi had a perfect aerial view of it, and once he let go he wouldn't be seeing anything anymore.

"Tadashi NO!" Hiro's voice rang, and Tadashi who had been falling fast towards the river was suddenly being reeled in by a tight cold grip. When he reopened his eyes, he saw that it was Hiro's microbots that had lassoed him back on to the bridge.

"Hiro—"

Hiro smacked Tadashi across the face. "You knuckle head!" he shouted, then his microbots fell off him, but Hiro's arms replaced the pressure as he flung his arms around his older brother.

"Do you not think about anyone but yourself?" Hiro asked harshly, shaking with anger.

Tadashi sat there frozen too shocked to do anything else.

"Where is it? Where did you put it?" Hiro asked, and then he was prying Tadashi's hand open. His half of the helicopter laid in his palm.

"My microbots. They were attracted to it." Hiro told him, "I didn't actually think they would lead me to you."

"Hiro. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For everything…" Tadashi finally found the words he needed to say.

"I know. I know you are. I forgive you." Hiro sighed, "Now don't you ever do this to me again."

"What?" Tadashi mumbled furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"Don't leave me again, stupid." Hiro reiterated, since Tadashi didn't seem to be understanding him.

Tadashi felt the warmth of Hiro's hands as he cupped his face with them. His stubble scratched against his palms as the younger one looked deep into his eyes for answers. Answers Tadashi was afraid he would never be able to provide for him.

"I don't know what happened," Tadashi mumbled. "The last thing I remember was Aunt Cass asking me to move out. I remember the first week living with Fred and Wasabi was okay. I was just really… depressed? The next thing I know my phone was turned off, I guess I didn't show up for school at all. I just disappeared."

"What do you mean you just disappeared? I haven't seen or heard from you in three months!" Hiro exclaimed, his hands dropping down from his face clinging on to the collar of his shirt instead. "I deserve to know everything. So you better start talking."

Tadashi shook his head, "I am trying to tell you. I don't remember! I just… I don't know. I 'came to' about a week ago. I went to Fred and Wasabi's assuming I had just had a lot to drink or something… which is why I may have felt so confused and disoriented. But then they freaked out at the sight of me. They said I had been gone for months. They said everyone had been looking for me. When they told me that, I-I didn't even know I was gone. Hiro. There's something really messed up inside me. It's not safe for you to be around me. I'm not right."

Hiro frowned because he spent so much time being angry with his brother's absence. He had no idea what to expect if he ever did find him. Sure, thousands of scenarios ran through his mind. But this. This was not one of them.

"Tadashi. Why didn't you come find me?" he asked taking a deep breath in.

"You don't need me to mess you up more than I already have, Hiro. You should've let me jump…" Tadashi's voice trailed away, but Hiro shook his head out of frustration.

"No. No. You're wrong. Stop it. Stop saying you've messed me up." Hiro pleaded, but even he knew now that there weren't many other words to call what Tadashi has done to him. All the other words that came to mind were much worse than, 'messing someone up'.

"I can't go back home. Aunt Cass would never allow it. I don't know if Fred and Wasabi want to deal with my baggage either." Tadashi told him.

"Killing yourself is not the answer, Tadashi." The younger one urged. "I'm still here for you. I don't care about what Aunt Cass. I'm still your crutch. I'm still your brother. I'm still…" his voice trailed away. "I'm whatever you need me to be, okay?"

"No, Hiro. It's not okay." Tadashi fought, but Hiro curled his head tightly into the crook of his neck, and the grip on he had on the older one was telling him otherwise.

"Tadashi stop being so selfish. I'm not saying this just for you." Hiro paused for a moment so he could take a deep breath in. Tadashi's scent was muskier than what he was used to, but he didn't mind.

"If you would have jumped for real. I would have just followed you. We're chained together whether you want us to be or not. Whether I want us to be or not. Just stop for one minute. Stop seeing yourself as a bad guy. Just for a minute?" he proposed and when Tadashi nodded slightly, Hiro pressed his lips to Tadashi's.

When Hiro pulled back he leaned in so their foreheads were pressed together. "Okay, now when you open your eyes, tell me what you see."

"I see you." Tadashi responded breathlessly.

"I see you too." Hiro assured him. "I see you, Tadashi. For everything you are. And a monster is not one of those things."