A/N: I've used some backstory from Empathist's wonderful story 'Out' in this chapter. If there's any confusion feel free to message me :)

Chapter Thirteen

Brendan woke up with Stephen's socked feet in his face. They must have drifted off after their attempt to watch the film. Brendan opened one eye blearily. They hadn't even got past the opening credits.

"Stephen" he murmured, nudging him with his own foot. Stephen snorted a little and didn't wake. "Stephen" Brendan said more determinedly.

"What?" He replied sleepily.

"It's six, we've gotta get ready for Amy's"

"Ugh" Stephen buried his head in the covers. "Why am I the wrong way round?"

"Ye tell me" Brendan grinned, raising himself to a sitting position.

Stephen held his head in his hands. "I remember being flexible"

"Well…" Brendan smirked, reaching out to him. Stephen slapped his hand away.

"We have to get ready!"

"Stephen…"

"You'll have me all day tomorrow! Come on" Stephen scrambled out of bed but not before Brendan got a few gropes in. "Unbelievable"

"I'd say charming"

"Would you now?" Stephen rolled his eyes, slipping back into his jeans. "Are you going to get dressed or go like that?" he asked, gesturing to Brendan's naked form on the bed.

"Think Amy would mind?"

"Her new boyfriend certainly would" Stephen replied, a slight bite to his tone.

Brendan groaned, swinging his legs out of bed. "Don't"

"Don't what?"

"Ye always do this"

"Do what?"

"The jealous ex act" Brendan pulled his trousers on.

"What you on about?"

Brendan sighed. "Leave it"

"No, go on" Stephen crossed his arms, frowning.

"I've noticed ye get yer knickers in a twist whenever someone sniffs around Amy"

"That's bollocks" Stephen said defensively. "How would you know that? We weren't together properly when Lee was around, or Ally"

"I notice these things, Stephen. Not to mention my own wariness when I saw the two of ye together"

"Seriously? You do know I'm gay, right?" Stephen smiled then.

"Hadn't noticed" Brendan said dryly. "But ye will always have that bond, sexual or not, it's there"

"Does it bother you?" Stephen asked incredulously. He looked a little pleased with himself.

"Don't be soft" Brendan murmured, hiding his face. "Ye ready or what?"

"It does, doesn't it?" He was positively gleeful now.

"Drop it, Stephen"

Stephen sighed. "Fine. I know it does though"

"If it makes ye happy…"

"It does" Stephen grinned at him, slipping out the door.

They drove to Amy's in silence. Stephen kept glancing at him, as though he wanted to say something. Eventually Brendan got tired of it and turned to him.

"What is it?"

"Do I really act jealous of Amy's boyfriends?"

"Yeah, I guess"

"It's only because she's the mother of me kids"

"It's not just that" Brendan said quietly .

"What else?"

Brendan sighed. "Like I said, there's always a bond. I'm the same with Eileen and her new fella"

"But we don't want them ourselves" Stephen said, scrunching up his face.

"No, but it isn't easy to see them with someone else either"

Stephen's expression shifted then. "Was it hard for you? Seeing me with Noah? Doug?" he paused and added quietly, "Simon?"

"What do ye think?" Brendan replied gruffly.

"Who was the hardest?"

"Stephen" Brendan said, exasperated. "I don't want to talk about it"

"Why not?"

Brendan's jaw twitched. "The thought of ye with other men…"

"I had to deal with it with you too you know"

"Those men didn't mean anything to me though, did they? Noah, Doug… they did"

"It was different" Stephen said quietly. "But I'm with you, aren't I? I always came back"

"And ye will stay? As long as I'm who ye need me to be, ye will stay?"

"Brendan" Stephen said, shaking his head. "I only need you to be yourself. You know what needed to be different and you're getting there"

"Is it enough?" Brendan asked, his throat constricting.

Stephen reached across to place his hand on his wrist. "I love you, of course it is"

"I won't make promises I can't keep" Brendan said quietly. "But just know I will do whatever it takes to make sure ye never get hurt, ever again"

"I know you will" Stephen said softly. "I can see that you're trying, that you want this. Just got to take it one step at a time, haven't we?"

"Move in with me" Brendan said in a rush. Stephen gaped at him. "Don't answer now. Just… think about it"

"Bren-"

"I know ye like the flat because it reminds ye of the kids but I'm the Landlord, I can keep it intact"

"But someone else will be living in it"

"I'll let ye choose, someone ye know"

Stephen stared ahead, seemingly deep in thought.

"Think about it, yeah?" Brendan said cautiously. Stephen nodded, that clouded look in his eyes disappearing.

"I will, I'll tell you my answer soon"

"Good" Brendan nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "We're here now anyway…" he paused, frowning at the car in the driveway. "I recognise that car"

"You do?" Stephen leaned forwards in his seat. "Whose is it?"

Brendan got out of the car, striding to the front door. Stephen followed closely behind, confused. Brendan's suspicions were confirmed when the door was opened by none other than Peter Hamill.

"Pete!" Stephen said in some surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Amy came to the door then, looking sheepish. "Come in, we'll explain"

Brendan didn't say a word. He allowed himself to be lead in by Stephen and they sat together on the sofa, staring at Amy and Peter in bafflement.

"Couple of months after I saw ye in Belfast, Brendan I got a job offer in Manchester. It was too good to pass up"

Brendan nodded, avoiding Stephen's gaze.

"Belfast? When was that?"

Peter looked between the two of them but continued. "Amy came to volunteer at the school"

"My university adviser said it would look good on my future applications" Amy explained.

"And we got to talking, met up for coffee a few times and well… you can guess the rest"

Brendan looked away, not wanting to imagine.

"Okay…" Stephen said slowly. "But Belfast?"

"Stephen" Brendan said, his voice a little croaky. "I'll explain later"

"I wanna know now" Stephen crossed his arms, looking at Amy who looked just as confused as he did.

Peter sighed, smiling a little. "Bren came to visit me when he got out of prison"

"You never said" Amy said.

"It never seemed important at the time" Peter shrugged. "And me and Brendan always had an understanding"

Brendan nodded. Him and Peter never grassed on each other. Except once… Cheryl. Not that Peter had planned it that way.

Brendan rose from his seat. "I need a minute, excuse me"

Stephen stared at him. Brendan went to the bathroom, leaving the door ajar so he could listen in on their conversation.

"So you and Bren?" Peter asked. He sounded genuinely curious.

Brendan could imagine Stephen shrinking in on himself under Peter's level gaze.

"It kinda just happened, again"

Peter laughed. "Is that right? Well I have to say, I'm surprised it took so long. I thought after that message I left him about you being worried for him after prison, something might have come of it"

Brendan felt himself freeze. What message?

"He never mentioned it" Stephen said quietly. "He didn't want my help, he shut me out. I found someone new… it didn't work out"

"Did he split ye?"

"No" Stephen said. "It wasn't right anyway"

"And ye two are together now? Properly?"

"Yeah. It wasn't easy, so much has happened…"

"I heard some of it from Amy"

Brendan stiffened at that.

"Amy" Stephen said, chastising.

"I'm sorry, Ste but I was worried about you! Who else was I going to talk to about it?"

"You could have talked to me" Stephen said bitterly.

"I'm no stranger to what Brendan's like, Ste"

"You shouldn't talk about him, not like that" Stephen said, a little more defensively. "He doesn't like it and he's really trying, you know?"

"Ste… are you sure?" Brendan could hear the strain in her voice. "Haven't you given that man enough chances?"

"Amy" Peter warned.

"No, Pete I'm sorry. I have to look out for him, who else will?"

"Wasn't he good today? With the kids?" Stephen pointed out.

"Well yes but-"

"Just give him a chance to prove himself. He deserves that at least, doesn't he?"

Amy sighed. Brendan suspected she thought he didn't deserve anything of the sort, but he knew she wouldn't dare say that to Stephen. He'd heard enough.

"Stephen" He said, coming out of the bathroom, flushing as though he'd been. "I'm not feeling so great"

"Oh" Stephen stood up. "Was it that burger we had today? Mine did look a bit pink"

"I dunno" Brendan avoided Peter and Amy's gaze. "Can we do the big reunion another time?"

Stephen glanced at them.

"Sure, of course"

Brendan moved to the door, feeling the tension thrumming in the room. He felt like a cat with all its hairs stood on end. Stephen said his quiet goodbyes to the happy couple when Brendan was already out the door. He went straight to the car, leaning against the steering wheel and breathing hard. He heard the door click shut as Stephen slid inside. He could feel his eyes on him, concerned.

"What is it?"

"Peter, I didn't think I'd see him… not like that"

"And you saw him in Belfast? When you disappeared after prison?"

Brendan nodded.

"Who else did you see?"

"Stephen-"

"Did you see Macca?"

Brendan turned to him. He could see the tears forming in Stephen's eyes.

"Nothing happened, he let me stay a while"

"So you went to him, instead of talking to me?"

"Stephen what do ye expect? Ye thought I was a killer!"

"No" Stephen shook his head. "I was already having my doubts about that. If you'd just come to me-"

"I wasn't in any fit state"

Stephen slumped back in his seat. "We never did talk about it"

"Well me and my therapist have" Brendan said bitterly. "Constantly"

"You need to talk to me about it" Stephen pleaded. "I need to know what you're thinking"

"Ye don't wanna know" Brendan said gruffly, starting up the engine.

"Try me"

"Not tonight, Stephen"

"Alright" Stephen agreed. "But we will"

"Stephen, please"

"I won't mention it again tonight"

"Thank ye"

They drove back to the hotel in silence. When they entered their hotel room, Stephen silently stripped him of his clothes and then his own, crawling into the bed. Brendan lay on his back, feeling Stephen press himself against his side, Brendan's arm around the back of his neck. It didn't take long for Stephen to drift off but Brendan could tell he was tense. The sane thing to do would be to move away from Brendan but he knew Stephen wouldn't do that. He knew it would make Brendan feel like he didn't trust him and right now Stephen's trust meant everything.