A/N: It's shorter than the other chapters, but I figured I'd better get the next chapter out before the mob of angry readers comes after me. You can put the pitchforks, shovels and torches down now. The next chapter is here. Read on before you come after me to burn me at the stake!
I don't own anything except the plot ideas. SM is the proud owner of Twilight. Too bad too, I'd love the retirement nest egg that it gave her. *Sigh* Maybe someday.
The ambulance and emergency room visit were hectic and worrisome for Edward. He wouldn't leave Bella's side for a moment, even when the doctors and nurses tried to push him out of the room. He wouldn't budge just in case that moment with her would be their last. He didn't want to miss anything.
The feelings of despair only got worse when they wheeled Bella up to the operating room and wouldn't let him follow. One of the male nurses had to forcibly keep him in the waiting room, telling him his wife was in good hands and she would be fine as long as the doctors were able to do their jobs without having to watch over him as well.
Edward finally collapsed into one of the hard, blue plastic waiting room chairs and covered his face with his hands, blocking out the rest of the world, including Emmett and Rosalie, who sat close by without encroaching on his space. From an early age, he had been taught to always keep his attention on those around him to keep himself alive, but in that moment, if Bella didn't survive, he didn't want to either. He ran his hands over his face before they ran through his hair. He tugged harshly at it to keep the frustration at bay – to prevent himself from running into the operating room to be with his Bella.
The others would be coming as soon as they were done with the restaurant. They needed to go over the scene and speak to the police before they would be able to come and give Edward and Bella their full support. Carlisle would help make sense of the medical jargon that would be thrown about to explain Bella's prognosis. Edward was glad because he wanted to make sure she had the best care and would pull through.
Sitting there, in the mostly empty waiting room, Edward's mind cruelly replayed the moment he was alerted to something wrong and looked over to her. She just stood there with a dazed, confused look on her face as she tried to make sense of the blood on her hand. He had seen that look many times before, on faces of his colleagues when the adrenaline was still coursing through their bodies and the shock was just setting in. The wound would start hurting then and even the strongest of men would have passed out from the excruciating pain. The fact that Bella hadn't collapsed immediately showed him just how strong she could be.
Edward sat there, praying she would come out of this relatively unharmed. He knew this life would take its toll on those around him, even hurt or kill them, but he had been hoping that it wouldn't be those who he loved, those that he couldn't live without; his Bella. They all knew the risks, but at the same time they didn't think anyone was stupid enough to go after all of them, including the women, essentially declaring war on them.
Hours passed without a word from the doctors or nurses about Bella. The others still hadn't arrived, yet Edward understood that. It took the police forever to get the situation under control before they could start getting the statements from everybody. Edward hoped that was a good sign, yet still prayed that it would all be over soon. He needed to see her soon. He could feel himself loosing touch with reality and just needed to make sure she was alive and well, and then he could stop acting and thinking crazy. Edward's wish came soon enough; even knowing didn't prevent him from feeling the insanity creeping up on him.
"Swan family," the doctor called to the waiting room, looking for the family of the young woman he had been operating on.
Edward jumped to his feet as he asked, "Yes?" Emmett, Edward, and Rosalie looked over at the doctor and stood, waiting for the doctor to approach them.
Walking over to the gaggle of people he would speak to, he took his surgical cap off and stopped at the threesome. He saw the worried and scared looks on their faces like any other family he had to inform. He was a very competent surgeon, yet this was the part of the job he did not like, informing the families.
"Is she okay?" Edward asked frantically before the surgeon could even open his mouth.
"Are you her family?" the doctor asked, skeptical to speak with them about her condition until he understood the relationship between his patient and the man before him.
Nodding, Edward replied, "Yes. I'm her husband. Edward Cullen."
"Cullen?" the doctor asked as his eyes widened in shock. "Any relation to Carlisle?"
Put out by not getting information on Bella and her condition, he growled, "Carlisle's my brother. Now, what about-?"
"Miss Swan is stable. She's not out of the woods yet. She-"
Edward interrupted the explanation, asking, "What does that mean? She could still die?"
Patting him on the shoulder, Emmett tried to diffuse the growing situation. "Edward, man, give the doctor some time to explain what's going on. It doesn't help anyone when you interrupt him constantly."
"Yes, thank you," the surgeon stated looking at Emmett with gratitude. "She is doing much better, but she suffered serious injuries and blood loss, however-" the doctor tried to explain.
Cutting the doctor off again, Edward's voice grew louder as he pointed back to the door the doctor had exited from. "Well go back and fix her!"
"Edward." Carlisle called as he walked into the room and over to his younger brother. He wasn't used to Edward being this hot-headed, but when it came to Bella, he wasn't surprised in the least. "Just calm down. Let him explain."
"But-"
"Edward," Carlisle reprimanded, looking from Edward back to the surgeon. "Nice to see you again, Dr. Tavern, please continue."
"Nice to see you too, Dr. Cullen, although I wish it were under better circumstances. As I was trying to explain to your brother, Dr. Cullen, Miss Swan can still go either way. You know about the chances and statistics regarding these types of wounds."
Carlisle nodded and inquired, "What did you have to do?"
The doctor sighed and replied, "She had to have a blood transfusion to counteract the loss. She was in shock when she was brought in here. The gunshot wound was gnarly. The bullet I extracted looked like a hollow point, which was designed to mushroom on impact inflicting maximum destruction. I had to reconnect her stomach after taking a large section out. It was just too mangled to reattach. Did she hit her head by any chance?"
"Twice," Edward answered. "When I tackled her to the floor when the shooting started and then again when she collapsed after she realized she'd been shot."
Nodding, the doctor replied, "I thought so. She has brain swelling. Dr. Cullen, you know what the procedures are at this hospital for this sort of situation."
Carlisle nodded grimly, knowing exactly what the surgeon was telling him, while Edward looked from one doctor to the other, desperately asking with his eyes for one of them to explain it to him. Carlisle was the first one to crack first. He explained in layman's terms the procedure of what was probably going to happen. "With severe swelling, which it sounds like she has, doctors tend to medically induce a coma until the inflammation recedes. I don't know how critical Bella's situation is, but-"
The doctor interrupted to speak about Bella's case specifically. "I'll need another MRI at a later time considering the rushed first one, but it seems like the double concussion resulted in a small bleed. We induced a coma to keep her comfortable and keep her from waking up and making it worse. I did not want to open her skull and either put a shunt in to reduce the swelling or cauterize the wound. She had already lost a lot of blood and head wounds tend to bleed a lot. I wanted to get her stable before I worried about how to fix the bleed."
The keening whimper that escaped Edward was painful to hear for those around him. He needed to sit down to prevent himself from falling down. Carlisle guided him over to one of the nearby chairs as he collapsed, Edward's knees giving out from under him.
"Edward-" Carlisle called, worried about his state of mind as well as his physical state.
Ignoring Carlisle, Edward looked up at the surgeon and asked, "Is she going to be okay?"
Answering for the surgeon, Carlisle looked at Edward and said, "There are several ways we can go about the bleed, Edward. We can go in and cauterize the wound, but that would have its own set of problems. There are chances something may go wrong which may result in Bella having some memory issues, and possibly having to relearn everyday things. We can go in and put the shunt in, but we'd probably have to go in and remove it at a later date, which has twice the risks with the two surgeries. I want to repeat myself when I say there's always a possibility something could go wrong, Edward. There's a third option, which is where we wait it out and see if the bleeding stops on its own. There's still a chance we'll need to get her into surgery if it doesn't stop. Bella is your wife; you're the only one who has the power to make medical decisions for her since she can't at the moment."
"Is it at all possible she could get better without the surgery?" Edward pleaded not knowing what to do for the first time in his life. What made the situation worse was this was the first time he desperately needed to know what to do to save Bella.
Unsure of what to tell Edward, trying not to get his hopes up, Carlisle told Edward "it's not unheard of. I've seen it happened before, but the chances of it happening are slim to none." Seeing his youngest brother as distraught as he appeared to be, made Carlisle hurt for him. Esme had never been injured like this before and Carlisle was thankful he had never had to live through this kind of heartache. He didn't want to think about his wife going through something like this.
The surgeon stood there, waiting for instructions on what Edward wanted to do. Something needed to happen. Soon. Otherwise they would be waiting to see if she came through on her own. "I'm sorry, but I need an answer relatively soon." The tone the surgeon took with the distraught husband was soft and gentle. He needed to use his comforting bedside manner to get some sort of decision out of the man.
Sitting down next to Edward, Carlisle put a comforting arm around him and gently asked, "What do you want to do? It's up to you."
A wounded, broken whimper escaped Edward as he tugged on his hair sharply. For the first time in his life, Edward felt like a rabid animal, with those that were there to capture him closing in on him. He felt like he needed to do something - lash out, anything to break free. The desperate, desolate feeling deep in his soul had never been felt before. He didn't know what to do to make it go away.
Edward had always been quick to act with no concern for his own welfare, but this time he had to worry about Bella. What would she want him to do? Which way would bring her back to him? How would she react when she awoke? He hoped he wasn't out of line with whatever he ultimately decided to do.
The anguish and grief in Edward's eyes when he looked at his brother was heart wrenching for the older man, but the soft cry nearly killed Carlisle. "I can't! I can't hurt her! Please. Please don't make me choose, Carlisle. I can't choose. I can't make that decision. What if she gets hurt? What if she doesn't come back to me? I just found her Carlisle. I can't make the decision that ends her life. I can't lose her so quickly. I just found her." Edward's words slowly fell from the strong voice Carlisle was used to down to barely a whisper. The way he was crumbling before Carlisle's eyes was gut wrenching and he hoped he would never see it again. He hoped Bella pulled through; otherwise Edward would surely slip away for good. "Please don't make me decide, Carlisle."
"Edward-" Carlisle tried to reason with his distraught brother.
"No-" Edward interrupted him again. "I can't do it. I can't hurt her. I won't be responsible for harming her in any way. I can't- I won't- Carlisle!" Edward begged pitifully as he tugged dangerously on his unruly hair.
Two warm, small arms wrapped around Edward's shoulders and Alice's cheek came to rest on the top of his head. She was trying to calm him but, having just arrived, she was trying to get information on Bella's status, too. She was scared to ask when Edward was in this condition. He looked like she had taken a turn for the worse…or didn't make it…
Carlisle turned and saw Jasper hurrying into the waiting room. He looked frazzled and unkempt. He ran his hand through his ear length locks and grimaced when he saw the blood splotches on his shirt sleeves. There was no way that was coming out, but this time they all had an excuse as to why there was blood on their clothing.
Noticing how Edward was falling apart, Jasper deviated over to Carlisle and knelt down before asking him quietly, "Hey, How's she doing?"
Shaking his head once, Carlisle grimaced, "I'm glad you're here. I'm going to need some help trying to keep Edward from falling apart completely. She's not doing too well." The quiet timber of his voice didn't reach Edward through his anguish as he continued to pull his hair. "We're trying to determine which way we want to proceed. Edward has the power to make the decision since he is her husband, but he can't decide what he wants to do. I don't think he'll ever be able to say the words and I don't blame him. I wouldn't be able to make that kind of decision with Esme's life hanging in the balance."
"Neither would I," Jasper mumbled looking over at his wife, still squeezing the life out of his brother. "Father is finishing up with the police right now. He said he'd be by as soon as possible. They aren't being much help. It seems like they were trying to interrogate us on completely irrelevant stuff rather than getting information about the shooters. Father's having a field day with them since they're more worried about us than them. When Ali and I left, the others were just getting back. I didn't get any information on any of what happened with Aro and Emmett, but they must have found something because they told me to double back and make sure I was present and accounted for with the police. They wanted me back since it was my restaurant and all."
"I need to know what you want to do, Mr. Cullen," The doctor inquired.
Another anguished whimper escaped Edward as he started rocking back and forth with his hands in his hair. Alice continued to try and calm him as Carlisle asked the surgeon, "Do you think we may have a little more time? It's a big decision and I'm not sure has the ability to make it at the moment."
Trying to do anything he could for his patient, the doctor responded, "If we wait too much longer, we won't be able to do anything. I need an answer quickly."
"Understood," Carlisle responded. "We just need a little more time."
Nodding, the surgeon turned to leave, but Edward stopped him by asking, "Can I see her? Can I see Bella?"
"She's being transferred and set up in the ICU right now. You can go back in ten minutes when the nurses are done. The rules state only one or two people in the room at a time."
The surgeon spoke to Carlisle for a few more minutes, trying to determine what would be the best way to go with Bella before leaving the family to discuss the options.
Alice leaned closer to Edward's ear over his shoulder and asked, "I'm going to go get her some flowers and whatnot from the gift shop. Anything I should know? Favorite colors? Favorite flowers?"
"Um…" Edward racked his brain for any answer. "She doesn't like warm colors. She likes cool colors, blue, green, and purple… I don't know her favorite flowers…"
"Don't worry, I'll make it work," she replied jumping down from Edward's back. She grabbed Jasper's hand to leave when Carlisle stopped them.
"No real flowers. It's against hospital policy to have real flowers in the ICU. They could carry bacteria and cause respiratory issues. Maybe some stuffed animals or balloons or something."
Smiling brightly, Alice patted Carlisle's shoulder and replied, "Have no fear. I'll make something work. I always do." She dragged Jasper out of the room to help her carry the entire hospital gift shop she would no doubt be bringing back to place in Bella's room.
The ten minutes Edward had to wait to see Bella were the longest in his life. His leg was bouncing in place and his fingers never left his hair as he tugged. Carlisle tried to speak calmly to him before he jumped up and started shooting people. It seemed Carlisle had done a good job because no one had been hurt by the time the nurses came to collect Edward and take him back to Bella's room.
Edward literally jumped up and sprinted over to the nurse when she called for him. He wanted to get back and see her. The nurse explained the rules of the ICU to Edward as they walked back to the right room but Edward tuned her out. All he could think about was his Bella. His Bella was hurt. His Bella was injured. His Bella was in pain. All the while, there was nothing he could to do stop it and it killed him inside.
When the nurse and Edward arrived at the room, Edward didn't waste a second before he was over at Bella's side and clutching her small, cool hand in his own. He leaned down and kissed her knuckles tenderly as the nurse brought a chair over to him so that he could sit down at the side of the bed without having to leave his wife to retrieve a seat.
The nurse left sometime later. Edward couldn't have told anyone what she had said to him or what she did. He didn't even realize she had left. He just sat there by the side of the bed, grasping Bella's hand like it was his life raft, gently brushing hair out of her pale, gaunt face and back onto the pillow as he quietly begged her for answers. He didn't know what he was doing and needed some advice and she was the only one who could tell him what she needed. He didn't want to make the wrong choice that hurt her even more. She had already been hurt so much in her life, by those who were supposed to love her unconditionally. He didn't want to be another one of those people she thought she could count on, but in the end found she couldn't.
"Little Love," Edward quietly pleaded. "I need you to tell me what to do. I don't want to make things worse. If I ever hurt you… I'd never forgive myself. Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I'll do anything you want, just tell me what that is. Please." Edward choked out as his eyes started stinging.
It had been years since he last cried. The stinging and subsequent wetness was foreign to him, but it wasn't all that unexpected. Bella was his one and only weakness. He wasn't above admitting that. He knew if anything happened to her he wouldn't be able to survive it. She was his heart. She was the one thing in the world that kept his heart beating, his lungs breathing and his eyes opening each morning. If he lost her in any capacity, he knew he would whiter away and die. It wouldn't be a pretty sight. He couldn't imagine what he would look like when he refused to get out of bed after a week, or eat something after two. She was his anchor, even the short time she'd been in his life. If she left, he wouldn't be long behind her.
Edward gently cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over her bottom lip before he leaned down and gently kissed them in a soft, lingering, pleading kiss. When he sat back up a lone, renegade tear sped down his cheek and dropped onto her lips. He kissed her forehead with the same gentleness but kept his lips attached to her cool skin. He asked against her skin quietly, "please come back to me, Little Love? I don't know what I would do without you here with me. I need you in my life now. You have to be okay. You just have to. Please. We need our happily ever after. I'll believe in fairy tales if you just come back to me. I'll believe whatever you want me to. I love you, Little Love."
Carlisle quietly entered the ICU room, pointedly ignoring Edward's tears as he quietly spoke to his wife. This was a time all the Cullen's would overlook the tears because any one of them would do the same in his position. It was disconcerting to see, to say the least. Edward never cried about anything. When his grandparents died, when his friends died, he stood stoic, yet here he was weeping openly. He took a spot on the other side of the room to keep Edward company and make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Carlisle grabbed Bella's chart and looked it over before Alice waltzed back in with Jasper in tow.
The arms full of beautiful cool colored flowers were perfect for Bella. Carlisle was about to say something about the live flowers when he realized they weren't real. The silk flowers were beautiful and looked so real. There were all shades of blues and purples with plenty of greenery to give it color. Alice danced around the room placing each of the beautiful vases around to give the bare room some sort of color and life. Lastly, she put a small little panda bear near Bella's side that had a bright red heart in its hands that said, 'Get Well Soon'.
Alice kept busy for she knew the moment she stopped running a mile a minute she would break down. She was trying to put that off until she and Jasper got home that night so nobody else would see her grieving. She really hoped Bella would pull through for everyone's sake. She knew Edward would never be the same if Bella didn't make it. Most importantly for Alice, she didn't want to lose a good friend.
"I told you I'd make something work, didn't I? I got her one of every plant in the gift shop that wasn't red, yellow, pink or orange. The best part about it, they look real and after she gets out of here, she won't have to worry about watering the plants. She could have a black thumb and they'd still look gorgeous. Do you think she'll like it?" Alice asked of anyone expectantly.
Answering for Edward, Carlisle smiled at her and told her, "She'll love it, Alice. I bet if you got her just one she'd be happy to know you were thinking of her."
"I know," Alice replied with a smile of her own. "She's awesome like that. She's not materialistic like most girls are nowadays. I'm not materialistic, except for clothes. Those are my weakness."
"They only want two people in the room at a time, Alice and I are going to go wait with Emmett and Rose out in the waiting room," Jasper explained to Carlisle when Alice had finished placing all the plants strategically around the room for maximum cheer and color. Edward was oblivious though. He was too concerned with Bella to notice much of anything else.
Unnoticed to Edward whose sole focus was on Bella, his family came in one by one as they arrived at the hospital, each taking a moment to be with the wounded girl and trying to speak to Edward. The parade of people ended just after sunup, but by night fall Edward still didn't move as he sat on the edge of Bella's hospital bed, pleading for an answer on what to do.
At some point during the night, Edward fell asleep curled around Bella's warming body. He was on the opposite side of the wound on her torso with his head snuggled tightly into her chest with his one arm over her, resting just under her breasts with the other under her head and pillow. His legs had tangled with hers at some point and his shoes magically had disappeared to the floor below the bed, kicked off sometime during the night.
When Edward opened his eyes, he was face to face with her breast. He yawned slightly before pressing his face further into the soft flesh, his ears picking up the beautiful sound of her heart monitor beeping steadily, strongly. It was music to his ears. His arms constricted around her, holding her tighter as his eyes closed again.
"Edward?" Carlisle asked quietly from the chair in the corner.
Groaning, Edward pressed his face further into Bella's chest, trying to hide from the world where it couldn't hurt him or his wife. He didn't want to have to face the day without her by his side. How had he grown to need Bella so much over just a few short months? He needed her the day after he met her and he was just starting to realize just how much he relied on her to be right there next to him to help guide him and be his best friend.
"Go away," Edward mumbled against the thin hospital gown and gripped Bella tighter.
Edward heard the sounds of Carlisle moving in his chair before he told him, "Edward, the doctor came by an hour ago. He looked at the test results. It doesn't look good."
Looking up at his brother, Edward watched as Carlisle sat forward in the chair. "What's wrong? What happened?"
"The doctor thinks we waited too long to make a decision on how we wanted to proceed with Bella's treatment. The only thing we can do now is wait. He won't operate on her and he won't put a shunt in her brain. He says it's too risky now, and I tend to agree with him on that. It could still go either way."
"What- what does that mean?" Edward asked laying his head down on Bella's soft chest again, not willing to let her go even if the apocalypse was upon them.
Carlisle sighed and explained it slowly and carefully so Edward would understand. "It means there's a chance she may not come out of this. She may die-"
"No!" Edward shouted, interrupting Carlisle.
Not willing to let him get riled up and not listen to what else he had to say, Carlisle continued and spoke over his irate and worried brother. "But that doesn't mean she couldn't come out of this without any lasting damage. There's still a chance she may wake up tomorrow without any lasting side effects. I don't want to get your hopes up, because that rarely happens, but it's possible. You have to be ready for either possibility. Even if she does wake up, she may have some brain damage. It all depends."
"I can't lose her, Carlisle," Edward whispered brokenly as he curled around Bella's body as if to protect her from an unseen danger. "She just said she loved me, Carlisle. I want to hear her say it again without the threat of death forcing her to get the words out before it's too late. I want her to say them of her own volition. I don't think I'll survive if she-" Edward choked on his words, unable to say the words.
"I know, but you have to try. Would she want you to wither away into nothing or would she want you to live, Edward? She'd want you to keep going. She's that kind of person, selfless and stubborn to a fault. She's a fighter, Edward. Just keep talking to her and I think she'll fight her way back to you just to kick you in the butt for being a mope, going all broody because of her injury. You know she would."
Edward wasn't able to keep the watery chuckle from escaping his lips as he nodded against her warmth. He knew just how stubborn she could be when it came to him. He was hoping she would come to, just to kick him in the butt and he would gladly take each swift kick all because that meant she was still alive to give it to him.
Grueling and never ending days went by but Edward refused to leave Bella's bedside. Carlisle would come in every day to check on Bella's progress, while Esme checked on Edward to make sure he was eating, showering and changing clothes. He mostly wore doctor scrubs now since he wouldn't be away from Bella long enough to change into anything more time consuming and those seemed to be the more comfortable option.
Everyone could see the toll this was taking on Edward and silently begged that Bella would pull through this relatively unharmed, otherwise Edward wouldn't last long.
Edward Senior came a few times to check in on his youngest and the girl who was a perfect match for him. Each time he would leave more and more disheartened. The doctors would tell him the chance of her coming out of it and each time it would get slimmer and slimmer.
They had stopped the coma inducing drugs by the second week. The swelling had reduced some and they felt comfortable enough to wean her off, yet she still hadn't woken up. Each day that went by was another few percentage points off her chance of recovery.
Day by day it looked more and more like Bella wouldn't make it. The prognosis looked grim to say the least, but Edward refused to give up. He would sit with her, holding her hand or curled around her talking to her, taking care of her. He would brush her hair for her, apply Chap Stick to her chapped lips, and Alice even convinced him, and then taught him to braid Bella's hair. Edward did anything to help Bella. It was almost like she was the sun and Edward was a planet, stuck in her gravitational pull; a pull Edward didn't ever want to be free from.
One day Edward was curled up on the small bed, asleep, wrapped around Bella like usual with Edward Senior standing in the doorway watching his youngest and his wife and Carlisle off in the corner chair.
"It was Marcus' men but they took the command straight from the horse's mouth. Marcus gave the direct order to shoot that restaurant up and take as many of us out as possible," Senior spoke softly not taking his eyes off the unconscious couple. "I just don't know how they knew we were at that specific restaurant. We have twenty or so around the city. How did they know to shoot that one? None of the others were hit. Jasper is trying to find who leaked the information to them as we speak while Aro and Emmett are searching for Marcus. There aren't any leads yet."
Nodding, Carlisle glanced over at him before turning his eyes back to the bed. He knew the first two priorities were finding Marcus and finding the leak. Aro and Emmett had killed the shooters in the car a block away from the restaurant the night everything went to hell and quickly disposed of the bodies. The police were still chasing their tails on where the shooters were hiding while the Cullen family were moving onto the bigger fish. They wanted the ring leader rather than the small low-lives carrying out the directives.
"Just get him before the police do and get him before they can hurt our family any more than it already is," Carlisle replied.
"That's what I'm trying to accomplish. I'm going to get going. I just stopped by to see how they were doing," Senior told him as he walked over to the bed and gently laid his hand on Edward's shoulder for a brief moment before he reached up and brushed some hair out of Bella's face, back onto the pillow and leaned down. He whispered in her ear, "you get better kid. I'll be seeing you later," before he kissed her forehead and left to try and aid the search for Marcus. The sooner they found the man, the sooner he could take his revenge on him. Nobody fucked with his family.
The afternoon was dancing across the bottom of the bed with the shadows the blinds were creating. The circulating air was causing the blinds to swing gently in the draft creating movement of a push and pull between the light and dark. The movement of light hitting Edward's eyelids was waking him gently. He groaned and clung to the body beside him as was routine by now. He nuzzled into her chest further and yawned, trying to get back to sleep when he felt a hand gently scratching his scalp as it ran through his hair. He smiled to himself with remembered thoughts of Bella doing the exact thing to him during the early mornings when they were in their bedroom.
The hand moved from his hair down to the back of his neck before sliding to his shoulders, holding him closer to the body he was clutching. As the fingers gently moved over his upper shoulders and neck, he woke and tilted his head to check on Bella. That was always the first thing he did when he opened his eyes – watching her still sleeping there. This time when he looked up, two tired and confused, brown molten chocolate eyes stared back at him.
He quickly scrambled out of the bed to give her more space and see how she was doing, falling to the floor when he got too close to the edge. He felt the rising anger at himself for not being able to do one thing right when he heard the musical sound of Bella giggling from the bed. He popped his head up so only his eyes and his hair were shown to see if he was hearing things, only causing Bella to giggle even more. Maybe he could do something right.
He smiled before lifting the rest of his head above the railing and standing up. He sat down next to her on the bed and reached up, brushing some hair out of her face. The moment his skin touched hers, the beeps coming from the heart monitor became erratic and disjointed. He smiled at the effect he had on her. Unbeknownst to her, she had the same effect on him. He ran his thumb over her cheekbones gently, barely touching her, and quietly asked, "Are you really awake? Or am I dreaming again?"
Attempting to respond to him, Bella quickly found it difficult to form words, and she licked her dry lips. "Water, please?" Bella croaked, her throat dry and scratchy.
"Shit, I mean, shoot," Edward said as he scrambled for the nearby tray laden with a water pitcher and a cup of ice chips. He poured one of the small cups of water for her and put a straw in it before holding it up to her, holding the straw steady so she could easily drink.
After a long sip, Bella allowed the straw to fall from her lips as she looked up at Edward's green pools of worry. She smiled a loopy smile and shyly, tiredly whispered, "Hi."
Edward's answering grin was lopsided and wide as he answered, "Hi." He brushed a lock of hair out of Bella's face and tucked it behind her ear as he quietly told her, "You had me really scared. I thought I was going to lose you for good."
Blowing a fat raspberry at him, Bella giggled loudly before she told him, "You can't get rid of me that easily."
"What kind of drugs do they have you on, Little Love? You're really loopy right now," Edward wondered aloud as he leaned down and kissed Bella's forehead, allowing his lips to linger on her skin. "I missed seeing your beautiful eyes. For a while people didn't think they'd see them again. Boy, am I happy you're awake. I was going insane not being able to talk to you…"
"How long have I been out?" Bella asked as her eyebrows creased comically. Though she was awake, she was tired and still a little confused. She could remember the restaurant and being thrown to the floor when the gunshots started, but couldn't remember much after that. "What happened?"
He tucked another lock of hair behind her ear before he gently asked, "What's the last thing you remember?"
"Um…" Bella thought for a moment as she bit her bottom lip. She looked back up at Edward with wide eyes and whispered, "There was a drive by…at the restaurant…you were helping people…then it gets kind of fuzzy…"
Realizing she didn't remember telling him she loved him, Edward deflated a little. He tried to ignore his disappointment over it when he told her, "Little Love, you were wounded. I didn't get you to the floor in time. You were shot. We rushed you here and you've been unconscious for almost four weeks now…"
"Oh," Bella whispered as she looked back down at the blanket covering her legs. She could tell there was something he was leaving out, but was scared to ask what it was. Good or bad, she wasn't sure she wanted to know what took the wind out of Edward's sails. She didn't want to know if it was something she did or didn't do or someone else.
Sensing the lull and awkwardness in the conversation where before there wouldn't be one, Carlisle stood from the chair where he had been quietly observing and walked over to the bed to speak to Bella. "Bella? Honey? Do you remember who I am?"
At the sudden appearance of another person in the room, Bella flinched before she could stop herself. When she looked back up, she immediately recognized Carlisle and nodded. Bella bit her lower lip again, "Carlisle. Why wouldn't I remember you?"
Carlisle patted Bella's leg as a parent would do with their child and told her, "Well, you hit your head pretty hard when you fell both times, the doctors had to induce a coma until the swelling went down and we weren't sure of the ramifications and side effects of the concussions. I just wanted to make sure you didn't have amnesia. And clearly you don't. I'm going to go get the doctor to come and check in on you. I'll be right back."
The sliding glass door opened and closed after Carlisle leaving Bella and Edward alone and quiet in the room. Edward studied Bella's face intently, trying to read the emotions flittering across her face. He saw confusion and contentment, happiness and anger, and new and ancient pain all in the span of a few seconds before he couldn't take it anymore. He reached up and cupped her cheek, causing her to look back at him. She smiled before a wide yawn erupted.
Edward chuckled and told Bella, "Why don't you take a nap? You must be exhausted. I'll wake you up later. Just close your eyes and relax. I'll keep you safe. Don't worry about anything."
Curling up on the bed close to Edward, Bella closed her eyes as she yawned again. "Lay with me, please?"
"Are you sure? The bed isn't all that big." Edward inquired. "I don't want to squish you. Someone might fall off."
"I like you squishing me. And I'll take the chance of falling off the bed. I like snuggling with you."
Edward couldn't stop the goofy grin from spreading ear to ear. That was something he really liked hearing from his girl. "You know, I'm actually not supposed to be in the bed with you. The nurses get pissy when they catch me. But I'm not willing to let them throw me out, besides, a quick wink and a smile and they're putty in my hands. Carlisle has pull here and kind of threw his weight around so I could stay here 24/7 and sleep in the bed with you. I overheard him telling the doctor that it would help with your recovery. I'm not in their god graces right now, but frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
Giggling, Bella reached over to pat the spot on the bed next to her. "Just get in the bed and hold me close."
Not willing to wait another second, Edward laid down on the bed next to his Bella and pulled her in close to him. He got them both situated before she sighed in contentment and relaxed against his warm body. He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead again, lingering for a brief moment before whispering, "I love you, Little Love."
"I love you too, Edward," Bella mumbled against his chest as she finally slipped into a non-medically induced slumber.
Holding her close, he buried his nose in her hair, took a deep breath and closed his eyes all while the smile on his lips lingered, larger than any other he had in his lifetime. How could anything top this? She just told him she loved him and she wasn't in death's clutches. She was warm, safe and sound in his arms and she just told him she loved him. Edward was just dandy.
Walking back in, talking with the doctor, Carlisle glanced over at the bed and saw Bella and Edward passed out and curled into one another. Edward had the usual death grip on Bella, but this time, Bella was turned into him and clutching onto his shirt. Carlisle smiled and turned to the doctor. "I guess she was tired."
Hours later, Bella opened her eyes to the bright, fluorescent hospital lights and groaned. Edward pulled her closer into his chest as he turned his head slightly and mumbled incoherently into the inside of her breast. Bella smiled at the action and blinked a time or two to try and gather her surroundings as she ran her fingers through Edward's hair to relax his tense body.
This was the first time in four weeks Edward was able to finally relax and get some real, much needed sleep without having to worry about what may or may not happen to Bella while he was unconscious. Before, it seemed like he always had to sleep with one eye open, but now, with the knowledge she had woken up, he was peaceful, catching up on the sleep he had been missing out on for so long.
When her eyes caught the door of the room, she immediately spotted James standing guard. She waved him in and with a smile asked, "What are you doing here, James? I'm sure Edward will be awake soon if you need to talk to him."
Shaking his head grimly, James replied, "No, Baby Bell, I don't need to speak with him. Senior has me keeping guard over the room. He doesn't want anyone sneaking in. Don't worry about a thing, I've got it under control."
"Wait," Bella replied, clearly confused, "But I thought you would be out looking for the shooters or something. Aren't you really good with that sort of thing? One of the best?"
James' lips cocked up into a small grin before he answered her questions, "I am one of the best. Besides the Cullens, I am the best in the organization when it comes to tracking someone. But, Senior thought it would be best if I were to make sure nothing happened to you. I tend to agree with him."
"Why?" Bella asked, bewilderment written all over her face.
"You really don't know how special you are, do you?" James asked as he shook his head. "You've left your mark on all of us. The gruff and grizzly men in the organization have smiled more since meeting you than the rest of the time I have known them. That's saying something. You have a good, innocent, sunshine aspect about you that brightens people's lives. Once they meet you, they're better for it. You remind me of my Vicki before she died."
Biting her bottom lip, Bella cautiously and quietly asked, "Will you tell me about her? Please?" Bella could tell the moment James started thinking of his wife. He got a faraway look in his eyes before they started to twinkle brightly.
"She had the reddest hair I've ever seen and freckles all over her nose and cheek bones. She had the Irish look about her. But what I noticed first was her smile. It always brightened up the darkest of days. Her personality and attitude were stellar too. She was always so happy and carefree. She kept me on my toes with what she would say and do next. She was so beautiful inside and out." James' lips quirked up into a genuine smile as he told Bella all about the love of his life.
"I found myself wanting to change my bachelor status and we were engaged six months after we met, and married six months after that. Our families thought we were crazy, a quick wedding to cover up a bun in the oven or something. But none of that was true, we just fell in love and didn't want to waste another day without the other by our sides. She was a hairdresser and I was an Outdoor Survivalist teacher. We got by. We were by no means rich, but the money didn't matter to us. We had each other.
"For our four year anniversary, I bought tickets to the opera, Cats, and we got all decked out in our Sunday bests. On our way back to the car from the opera house, two men robbed us at gun point. Vicki gave them her purse but she wasn't fast enough with her necklace and bracelet and they shot her. They shot me, took my wallet and left us for dead. Someone found us the next morning. I was hypothermic and had severe blood loss, but Vicki didn't make it. They had shot her in the heart. She was dead before she hit the ground. I found out it was two of Marcus' men and I joined the Cullens six months after her death to get revenge on the two men that gunned her down for no reason.
"You remind me so much of her - your personality, your good outlook on people and life in general. My Vicki would have loved you," James explained.
"I'm sorry. About your wife…" Bella choked out with tears threatening to run down her cheeks. "She sounds like a wonderful woman."
James nodded. "She was. Which is why I agreed wholeheartedly to guard your door while you're here in the hospital. I don't want to see what happen to my Vicki, happen to you. She didn't deserve it, she never hurt another soul in her life and I can see that in you as well," James told her earnestly as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Thank you," Bella whispered back honestly. "For everything."
"The best thing you can do to repay me, is to get better. You two deserve a chance at happiness," James bargained with Bella. "It seems like you two have been getting the shit end of the stick each time around the bend."
Bella smiled and answered back, "I will as long as you promise to smile a bit more... at least around me. You don't look as grizzly and surly when you smile."
"Deal," James replied as he smirked slightly at her. "I'm going to leave you to get back to sleep. You can rest easy. Nobody will harm you here. Especially when I'm just outside the door and Edward's wrapped around you that tightly."
"Thank you," Bella told him as she hunkered down on the bed in Edward's arms again. "You're a good man, James Cross." Bella's eyes closed slowly as she slipped off to sleep again.
"That all depends on who you talk to, Baby Bell. Nobody in this business is a good person. But then again, I'm trying my best," James quietly whispered as he stepped out of the room to stand guard over the woman who reminded him so much of his late wife. He was willing to do everything in his power, give his last breath for the frail woman in the next room, so she could have a chance to live her life like his Vicki never had. If he joined Vicki in the afterlife as a result of ensuring Bella had a chance to live and be happy with Edward, it would be worth it.
A/N: Thank my wonderful beta TwiSNFan for fixing my many, many mistakes, making it legible and readable. She completes me. None of this would be possible if it weren't for her. Send her some love.
Leave a review if possible and let me know how I'm doing. None of it was written before hand so I'm muddling through it as I go. Who knows, with your permission, I may use some of the suggestions you leave in a review later on during the story. I thank everyone who has reviewed. Please keep in mind, constructive criticism is most welcomed, even encouraged, but don't just leave a nasty review to be mean. That helps no one and nobody learns from anything. Thank you!
Thank you for those who sent me their well wishes and congratulations. And thank you to those who have stuck by me through all of this. I appreciate the encouragement and the support of all of you has given me by standing with me.
I'll see you soon!
Jo