Hot Shot's girl: Mind you I was listening to When your gone by Avril so yea. You can kind of get the mood of this chapter.
When Starscream awoke he turned his head to the left and there found Alexis sleeping peacefully next to him. Things were different now. She was a human now and he . . . a machine. Had that all been a dream in the first place?
How did what happened last night happen? Through his optics he saw Alexis as a transformer and through Alexis' eyes she saw Starscream as a human. Neither of them knew how this happened, but they were glad it had happened for they could have gotten so close to each other if that hadn't happened. Starscream soon forgot all else as he watched Alexis peacfully sleep.
With a sigh of well sleep his smile deepened. He couldn't help but love her. There was no resisting it anymore. Not when they had come this far in their relationship.
As he watched her sleep he found himself thinking many things. He knew the autobots were going to be leaving back to cybertron some day and that they were to follow them and head back as well. How could he leave her? How could he find it in himself to do such a thing to one such as her?
He then moved his slim finger to run it through Alexis' hair that was over her face. He gently moved it to see her lovely face, but as he did so she responded to his touch. Her head moved slightly to the right, a twitch more or less it was. Starscream stopped for he did not want to wake her.
He wanted her to rest and get all her sleep for he knew she was tired from last night. He wanted her to feel refreshed when she awoke . . . like he did. He just smiled and gave out a sigh of love for her. He shook his head ever so slightly thinking to himself.
What am I going to do with you?
Starscream's smile even deepened as she moved again like most humans do in their sleep. She moved to lay on her back. She almost sounded like she was straining herself, but it was just the hard bed of his that made her sound so uncomfortable when she moved even though she was still deep asleep. She placed her arm over her head when she found a comfortable position . . . closer to Starscream.
Starscream just lay there watching his lovely one rest and sleep. Humans were so beautiful when they slept. They were so vunerable, so delacate. You could do anything to them without them knowing if you wanted to when they were in this state, but Starscream was not that kind of a bot . . . well not to her. This morning was so full of smiles because of her.
"Starscream," came Barricade's voice as he opened the door and stuck his head through to see him.
Starscream said nothing though. He just placed his finger to his lips making sure Barricade wouldn't wake Alexis. Barricade shook his head and saw the two. Not much emotion was expressed on that decepticon's face so it was hard to tell what his thoughts were at seeing them laying together . . . again.
Starscream then, as quietly as he could, got up and make his way to Barricade. He then pushed him out in the hall and shut the door behind him so he could talk to him on a normal tone and not wake Alexis.
"What is it Barricade?" asked Starscream crossing his arms and let Barricade know he had his attention.
"Sir the autobots are moving," said Barricade.
"Yea, where?" asked Starscream.
Barricade paused and seemed to struggle to say. He glanced at Starscream's room and then at Starscream finaly saying-
"To cybertron."
Starscream's optics widened as Barricade said this. This was the reason for his pause in his answer. Barricade knew how hard it would be with Starscream for. He knew that being with Alexis meant everything to him . . . but leaving her? How could he find the strength to do so?
"Cybertron," repeated Starscram gazing at the ground trying and looking his hardest for the best things to think of, do, or say.
"Yes Starscream," said Barricade. "We have to leave you know . . . she can not come with us."
"I know that Barricade," said Starscream his gaze just passing the decepticon soldier.
"Do you wish me to tell the others or shall you tell them sir?" asked Barricade.
"I'll let you," sighed Starscream.
"You have to tell her Starscream," said Barricade.
"When she wakes up," said Starscream with so many things running through his mind.
"It might be a while," said Barricade.
"I don't care," said Starscream raising his voice a little. "Now tell everyone to meet in the control room. I shall tell them what we will do from here."
"Yes sir," said Barricade slightly bowing and then leaving.
Starscream then looked around. How could he tell Alexis this? He was scared to as a matter of fact. He didn't know how she'd act.
He had it in mind and so was afraid. How was she going to take this? Should he even tell her? He'd have to think about it.
"So Starscream . . ." started Cyclonus with a smile now that he could after his face had healed. "How was your night?"
"Do you want your face blown off again Cyclonus?" asked Starscream turning to him.
"Who, wait . . . what happened here?" asked Skywarp very interested.
"Starscream was alone with Alexis in his room with the doors closed," hinted Cyclonus hinting the obvious.
"Bro what did you do?" smiled Skywarp leaning back a little.
"It is none of your business!" spat Starscream ever hating how rude they were.
"How could you two possibly-?" started Skywarp trying to picture it but failing misserbly.
"Skywarp!" growled Starscream his temper showing.
"Come on, tell us the truth," smiled Cyclonus with a small elbow nudge to Starscream.
Starscream knew they were not going to leave him alone unless he told them. If he tried and lied they would know and so just keep bugging him and so right now if he could he would be blushing right about now.
"We had sexual intimacy alright!" confessed Starscream.
"Now that wasn't so hard to say . . . you what?!" gasped Cyclonus yes even he could be shocked.
"How on cybertron Star-?!" asked Skywarp as his face agreed with Cyclonus'.
Starscream just smiled and shook his head. He looked at the two and knew they would never understand. No one could ever understand.
"You two could never understand," he said walking away from those idiots.
"Ah, but could I?" smiled Barricade stepping before Starscream most inerested in how this happened.
"Barricade do you remember that all document by that transformer scientist who said every living thing has a spark even that of organic compound?" asked Starscream coming to him.
"Yes," said Barricade. "Are you saying it was true."
"I don't know Barricade," sighed Starscream looking up and remembering the night he had with Alexis. "I'm starting to think so for how else could we-?"
He then looked at Skywarp and Cyclonus who were still strangly starring at him. He then turned back to Barricade and decided to say-
"You know."
Barricade shook his head in agreement. He understood but there were some things that needed to be said that Starscream was not willing to share to everyone that he needed to know to know more about how this happened which was very interesting indeed. Starscream noticed everyone was there and so he told them the only thing they were to do about all that was going on.
"We leave earth, and head back to cybertron."
"Aw, I'm really startin' to grow attached to this place," giggled Cyclonus.
Yea . . . me too, sighed Starscream inwardly.
After that was settled he stood outside of his room where Alexis slept inside. He was struggling with himself to go in and tell her that he had to leave, but he couldn't. Not like this. Not this way.
They had just expressed their deepest love for each other and gave themselves to one another last night. How could he break her heart and tell her he was going to leave and might never come back. It wasn't right. Not to her.
So what could he do? He couldn't even find it in himself to go in his own room and wake the women who slept on his bed and tell her . . . whom he loved dearly that he was going to leave . . . just like that. No, he couldn't. It wasn't right, but what could he say? Starscream found not the words and wondered if he ever could.
"Starscream," said Barricade coming to him. "The Nemesis is ready to leave sir, but we can't without you."
"I know that Barricade," said Starscream really wanting to be left in his thoughts.
"You can just leave her you know," aid Barricade.
"With what though Barricade?!" asked Starscream turning to him. "No good-byes or farewells? I couldn't do that to her."
"As I recall sir, the transformer scientist did say that when two sparks bond, like we do with femme of our kind, that bond shall never be broken. Some call it a curse and others a blessing, but if I might say sir this would count as a curse."
"How dare you call her a curse!" snarled Starscream at the decepticons police car.
"You are of different races, kinds, worlds, bodies, you do the math Starscream," said Barricade. "You know this is all true. If you try to say good-bye you will not go. The bond you two share will hold tight. You need to leave now."
"I . . . I can't," bowed Starscream. "I love her too much to leave her."
"We are ready Starscream," said Barricade turning. "It is your choice to find out whether or not you are stronger than that bond."
Starscream just thought to himself and gazed at his door with the slumbering Alexis behind it. What should he do? What could he do?
Alexis awoke and found Starscream not there by her side. She sighed and figured he was out with the others somewhere. When she sat up a strange feeling sunk in her. . .The feeling he had left. She didn't know how or why, but the feeling was there and it almost made her sick.
She got up and readied herself to walk out in the halls. When her hair was fixed to where she could be seen in public and her clothes not wrinkled and straightened she exited Starscream's room and wandered throughout the base. First she went to try and see Barricade in the medical bay. When she got there all she saw was and empty room and the extra bodies Barricade had fixed for everyone laying in containers waiting for a spark to be placed in them.
She sighed as her heart sunk even deeper. He was usual in here. Where could he be? Alexis was scared.
She ran down the halls searching for everyone, but they were not there. She then ran into the room where they kept their Nemesis ship. As she ran in that room she stopped and starred at it wide eyed grasping her aching heart . . . they had left her.
"No!" gasped Alexis in s hush whisper as she fell to her knees and gazed at the ground.
She couldn't believe they had left her and Starscream with out a word just abandoned her after she . . .
"They're gone," she cried as streams of tears began to run down her cheek and wet her clothes greatly. "Why did they do this to me? . . . Starscream!"
Alexis then grasp her face and let her tears loose. They were gone and this was the reason for her tears. When Alexis managed she got up and left that base and headed to her house. she never wanted to see that awful base again if she could do anything about it.
She ran into her home and wept again, this time for hours upon hours till night overtook her home and land. She laid on her bed red eyed and heart broken. She couldn't believe this all had happened. She couldn't feel at all that day.
Her heart was now as cold as ice. Her feeling . . . gone. Her love . . . was it ever there to begin with? Nothing was there anymore . . . it was all gone.
When he left . . . when Starscream left he had taken all she had all she was . . . with him. Her feelings, her love, her heart. She was so stupid in believing in him. She knew he was going to do this someday and yet she ignored the signs and decided to love him anyways.
She remembered the day when Starscream had his gun up to her. Ever she wished he would have just finished her off then and there. Why couldn't he have? it would have saved her so much misery and heartache . . . from loving him . . . from her giving herself to him and then he just up and leave her like she meant nothing to him . . . perhaps she didn't in the first place. It would have saved her from all this sadness and heartbreak.
How could he do this to her? Just leave her when she . . . How could he just go in there and decieve her like tha . . . oh wait, that's right. He's a decepticon and so it would seem fit. Born and raised to be . . . a liar.
And a heart breaker, cried Alexis as she dug her head in her pillow.
She felt ever dead right now. Cold, emotionless, not afraid to die. This is why she wanted to be alone . . . from people like him, but when he crashed in her land he showed her the how much being with someone felt. How it made her feel so good and happy every day. It was horrible what he did yes, but she loved him. How could you hate someone you loved . . . how?
"Starscream why did you to this to me?" asked Alexis through her tears and she starred off into the cold darkness where no one would rescue her from.
She so badly wanted him to come and rescue her, but all at once she didn't. She missed him so much. Nothing could ever help her ease her pain but him . . . why him? First her parents, her first loves, left and then . . . him.
Why did he have to go and leave her so cold, dead, and alone? After Alexis managed to move from her bed again she looked out her window where Starscream used to push his face in and speak to her. It was barren and empty with no face and so Alexis walked over there to look out into the sky and just see stars knowing that at least one of them was him . . . he was out there . . . watching. Alexis climbed out onto her roof and just sat there looking into the night sky at all the beautiful shimmering stars.
At least these stars hadn't left her. They were faithful. They would always be there for her. They told her this by coming out every night if they could and always coming.
She sighed as a soft cold wind past by her. Normaly Starscream would be there to warm her . . . but he was gone. Oh, ever she desired him and wantd him back by her side and so her heart cried out to the heavens hoping he would hear its cry.
"Come back to me Starscream," whispered Alexis as it was carried on the wind and sent to the stars.
Starscream ever kept his gaze on the small blue planet he had come to know as earth. It was the home of whom he loved dearly, but never had the guts to say. He was a coward and he can only imagen what she was like right now. How much pain she was in . . . because of him.
All saw him like this and so knew not to speak or touch him. He was deep within his thoughts and they were dark and sad. He missed her. His spark ached to see her again and he never got to say good-bye.
Alexis didn't know why, but she could not take her eyes of the stars. When another cold wind came she flinched and rubbed her arms together to keep warmer, but when she looked back she jumped up at seeing Starscream stand before her just starring with sad ruby optics. Alexis' mouth was so dry she could barely whisper And be heard-
"Starscream."
"Alexis," replied Starscream looking down in shame at what he had done.
Alexis then saw this. he felt bad for what he had done and this was so clear on him. She then began to cry out sobs. She tried to hold them in but they couldn't be stopped. She hurt so much and he tried to say he was sorry.
"Alexis I . . . I didn't mean for it to be this way," he said.
"Neither of us ever does," said Alexis.
Starscream sighed trying to find the right words to say.
"Alexis I am a decepticon. A soldier in the cybertron army. I have duties."
"I know," smiled Alexis toughing one out and placing a hand over her heart.
"I didn't mean to not say good-" started Starscream trying to touch Alexis' face, but she jerk away. "I know why you're mad at me."
"Oh really?" said Alexis her anger rising. "Enlighten me Starscream 'cause I never met a man, or machine, who would just walk out on the one who loves him without saying a good-bye or explaining why!"
"Alexis I couldn't," said Starscream.
"I gave myself to you Starscream," cried Alexis. "And now you act like it was nothing . . . was it nothing to you?!"
"No, no Alexis," shook Starscream. "It was everything to me, everything. It's just we knew this day would come."
"Why can't you just stay with me?" asked Alexis.
"Because I know you," said Starscream.
Alexis was confused.
"Alexis I hate you remember?" said Starscream letting out a smile.
Alexis couldn't help but smile as he said this for she remembered this little saying all too well. It was fun to say while their relationship lasted.
"Well do you know how much I hated you?" asked Alexis a new set of tears streaming down her face.
"I am so sorry for your heartache . . . I never meant for this to happen, but it was meant to," said Starscream.
"And us meeting each other when you crashed was nothing?" asked Alexis. "Starscream have you ever stopped to think that there is a bigger pictue to everything."
Starscream then turned from her and under his breathe muttered out-
"All the time Alexis . . . all the time."
Alexis then burst out crying again, but soon contained herself. She then mustered up herself and stood straight on her roof ready for Starscream's good-byes for that is why he came back.
"I . . . wish I can give you something to remember me by," said Starscream still not finding it in himself to look at her.
"I have my memories isn't that good enough?" said Alexis toughing out another smile, but this one was hard as it shuttered with grief and sadness.
"I'll . . . come back to you . . . if I can," said Starscream. "Perhaps after the war."
Even though Alexis knew that the war would never end and Starscream would probably never be able to come back to her she tried to sound as hopeful as possible so she spoke out saying-
"I'll wait for you."
She then cast her eyes down and bowed her head. Starscream then turned to her and said one last thing to her-
"I love you Alexis . . . and always will. I'll never change."
He then transformed and took off leaving Alexis to cry to herself for her lost love. He was the love of her life and yet he left her . . . just like the cold wind, but then again . . . it always managed to come back again, no matter what season.