I honestly tried not to take it personally when Azriel showed up to the townhouse with the news that Mor would be staying behind on our trip to the Spring Court. Deep down I knew it was unlike her, but I told myself that her role had changed while Rhys and I were Under the Mountain. Her responsibilities had grown so it made total sense that she had some sort of drama happening in the Court of Nightmares that she had to stay behind and resolve.

It definitely wasn't because I'd told her I slept with Eris.

"Ready?"

I turned at the sound of my brother's voice, a tethering noise. His feet were light as a feather as he descended the stairs of the townhouse we shared. Well, technically this was his townhouse and mine was at the end of the block, but I'd long since moved across the hall, prepared to annoy my brother until the end of time with my eternal presence.

Cassian and Azriel were leaning on the breakfast bar in the kitchen sipping on coffee, otherwise known as the devil's drink, though they would both argue with me over it for days. I prefered tea, much like the honey sweetened cup I now held in my hands.

I nodded to Rhys before turning back to the open window where I watched our bit of Velaris still sleeping through last moments before dawn. A lone bird sat atop a neighbor's roof, bouncing along the tiles in search of a few nibbles of food, but then it chirped a soft song into the brisk morning and I knew what it was really searching for.

Its mate.

I let out a deep sigh before swallowing the last of my now lukewarm tea and rose from the fine leather couch littered with my pillows and throws that sat adjacent to the front door.

"I don't know, I think Talla's doing well with the new legion," Cassian said to Azriel as I walked into the kitchen, passing Rhysand who had just grabbed a bagel from the cupboards and magically toasted it.

Azriel shrugged in answer. "I worry he's not a strong enough leader. They'll get the best of him."

"They've gotta start somewhere," Cassian replied, turning toward me as I neared the sink at his side.

"Oh, thanks," I said when he grabbed the mug from my hands and took to rinsing it.

"Let's team Talla up with Hanna. A few months of drills with Hanna's legion and Talla's crew will be kissing his feet," Rhysand added before taking his last bite.

The front door opened and we all turned just as Amren slipped inside, her hair its typical perfection and her clothes their typical color - grey.

"You animals are so slow," she groaned, nevermind she was the one running late.

But we all knew not to correct her.

"Alright then, let's get this show on the road," Cassian said before finishing drying my mug and setting it back in its cabinet next to the two mugs he and Azriel had just been drinking their coffee from.

Amren reached out a hand toward Rhys and he took it, although hesitantly.

Cassian stepped up beside me. "Be my ride? I don't really feel like holding onto Azriel." And though I knew he was trying to lighten my mood, when his shoulder brushed against mine I had to fight my racing heart at the mention of being close.

Space. I liked space.

"Yeah, let's do it," I said, turning toward him to wrap my arms around his muscled, Illyrian waist. I pulled my power around us, ready to whip us into the fabric of the world and just before we disappeared I heard a distant, "Watch where you put your hands!"

We appeared somewhere in the Summer Court based on the sudden arid temperature and the all-consuming greenery that was speeding toward us much too quickly. Suddenly I was spinning and it wasn't until the salty air kissed my windblown cheeks that I realized we were flying. I'd winnowed us into the air somewhere. As Cassian flew us south I was glad he'd asked to winnow with me. I can't say Amren would have been too helpful during that freefall.

"Thanks," I said, breathless as I watched the passing ground we narrowly missed over my shoulder. It wasn't like me to miss a target, or to be so powerless as to have landed in the wrong Court altogether.

"No problem. Think you can find the others for me?" He asked and tightened his grip around my waist. Though I had my wings always tucked close, it felt as if his hands were the only thing keeping me from going splat.

I dropped my hold on my power, my mind flying through the skies a thousand times faster than an Illyrian's wings ever could. The home of the High Lord of Summer wasn't too far west of us which meant I'd been way off with my winnowing. Embarrassingly off. My mind felt through villages and a few dozen flocks of birds searching for the nearest beach. And then I felt him.

"Hold on," I shouted against the winds building and circling around us before we disappeared again.

I hadn't expected to appear so close to the Spring Court manor.

This time I'd intentionally winnowed us into the sky, partially so that Cassian's momentum wouldn't be so jarring upon arrival and partially so I could let go of him and dip into a flashy skydive before touching down on the fine grass of the Spring Court manor lawn. I'd probably been here before as a child, before our fathers' falling out.

Before Tamlin killed our father.

Before Rhysand killed his.

As if sensing my thoughts, I felt the tug of my brother's mind before he and Amren appeared on the ground beneath where I was still gliding my way down despite Cassian's quick landing. For some reason, being lonely in the skies was never a sorrowful endeavor for me, but always a righteous one. Perhaps it was the exhilaration. Perhaps it was the freedom.

Azriel winnowed in at my side and I let the grin take over my face. His smile grew alongside mine as I tried to weave around him, but he weaved right back. We spun in the sky until I screamed, "Okay okay! You win!" and landed beside the others.

We didn't bother saying anything before approaching the manor door twice as tall as I was, but Rhys and I shared a look that we knew all the others had seen. There was no time to hesitate. That's why we'd left so quickly. Why we attempted to winnow completely here. The longer we took to consider what we were doing…

Well, I know I would never do it.

Rhysand doesn't knock unless it serves a purpose. In this case, he reached through the sprawling manor in search of the mind of a certain red-headed High Fae with a golden eye, beckoning him to us in the most obnoxious and hilarious way I'd ever seen. I suppose maybe the dramatic flair does run in our blood.

The door lurched open and we met Lucien's already disgusted face.

"You could have knocked you know," he sneered.

Rhys grinned. "We know."

He stepped into the emissary's face, forcing him to retreat and offer us an open door. Rhys kept his eyes on Lucien as Amren passed through the doorway behind him, Azriel on her heels. I knew I was supposed to follow next, an Illyrian always last inside a new territory, but I froze. The pull in my chest was aflame with the misguided splendor of the mating bond, something I'd ruthlessly ignored until now. Until I was on the doorstep of the male whom fate had sent for me to have, to one day love.

I was reading too far into this. Though special, the mating bond was meaningless. It meant nothing. My own parents were proof of it. They'd hated each other most of their lives together. The mating bond meant nothing.

I repeated it and repeated it in my head, but the burning in my chest kept my feet planted.

Rhysand's eyes shot back, though not to me, but to Cassian who placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'll go back to Velaris with you, if you want."

I sucked in a weighted breath that left my chest feeling heavy and shook my head. The first step was the hardest, but I climbed the few small stairs of the porch into the front door. Even indoors the smell of flowers was intoxicating, the peonies stout and the soft scented roses in full bloom despite the oncoming winter ahead. The entryway was a circular atrium, the artwork on the walls and ceiling angelic. It was a stark comparison to Under the Mountain, yet I still felt suffocated.

Cassian and Rhys followed in my wake as we approached a large, pillared archway that led into a dining room with a table large enough for two dozen. I didn't need to look up to see who was already sitting at the head of the table, his hair still a lush, vibrant gold and his eyes, now unburdened by his mask, a blaring green that seemed to house an entire world of life within them.

"Welcome," the High Lord of the Spring Court said as he rose from his seat. I felt my heaving chest as if it weren't apart of my body anymore, the breaths raging and deep. I told myself Rhysand came to a halt by my side because he sensed me through our daemati connection, and not because it was visibly possible to see my haphazard lungs reaching for air. "Please, sit. I've arranged for us to have breakfast, if you all were so inclined."

"It seems we've already eaten," my brother says as he picks of an invisible thread from his brocaded jacket. No one would have ever noticed the way he took the distraction as a moment to scent his surroundings. To look for her. For Feyre. "However, I suppose we can join you around your table to keep you company."

I hadn't spent much time pondering my brother's predicament with his mate, and the thought was jarring. Not because of my brother finding himself a woman, a best friend, a true lover… barf. But because I knew even if she were ready to be with him right here and now… There's no way he would be.

Not after Amarantha.

"By all means," Tamlin spoke, gesturing to the seats surrounding him just as the table altered, his magic shifting the object into the perfect size for only eight people.

Rhysand moved to the seat opposite Tamlin and I pretended not to notice the tension growing, oozing from the walls with every glance, every breath shared between the two High Lords within the dining hall. A war fought within me as I sat at my brother's left, leaving his right hand seat for Amren as the Inner Circle always did. The bond called to me, its power a siren begging for the nearness of its other half while he was so close. I let myself cast a glance toward Tamlin as he returned to his seat just as Lucien sat beside him. He started to speak again, but saw my watching eyes and paused, the words disappearing from his tongue.

Cassian found his place at my side, always my keeper. Sometimes I felt that Rhysand had tasked him specifically to watch over me, for if anyone could be stronger, better, in combat than Rhysand, they would still not stand a chance against Cassian. A flash of Under the Mountain shot through my mind and for the hundredth time I reimagined those sullen moments with an Illyrian at my side. I'd have been saved so much pain.

But, I reminded myself, I, too, am an Illyrian warrior and I was still not enough.

"I believe we have matters of the utmost importance to discuss, however I can wait for privacy if you so wish," Tamlin said as Azriel sat beside Amren, leaving one open seat on Tamlin's left.

My brother shook his head and waved a nonchalant hand. I wondered if he knew precisely where in this manor Feyre was. "This is my Inner Circle. I keep no secrets from them."

I was a little taken aback that he would share the makings of the Inner Circle with Tamlin, but perhaps he'd already slipped around in the High Lord's mind to judge his intentions.

"You? The Dark Lord has an Inner Circle?" Tamlin questioned.

Lucien chuckled, his metal eye gleaming. "Like friends? What happened to pulling rank?"

We never looked toward Rhysand during meetings like these. When the Inner Circle sat in with Rhysand, though infinitely rarely, we never let ourselves even appear to question him. At home, we were equals. At home, Amren could boss him around and I could make fun of his dramas. But out in the world… Out in the world he is our leader, our pride. Out in the world Rhysand is the High Lord of the Night Court and while I thought he was just a big dork, he was also worthy of every respect I could give him for everything he's done for me and for our people, both within Velaris and without.

"Rank is a thing of the past, just like all that happened Under the Mountain." Tamlin raised a thoughtful brow as my brother continued, "It is something I'm sure we all wish to forget."

Lucien's metal eye narrows and he turns to his High Lord.

"I agree," Tamlin answers. "There are many things in my past I… wish to forget."

I can't help but think he's referring to the murder of our fathers, the sword of guilt that wavers above his and my brother's throats.

"I've invited you here with deep hope," Tamlin goes on, "that you will consider an alliance with the Spring Court."

That, I was not expecting. The pang in my chest at the ignored live wire of the bond in my chest is steep. Perhaps this had nothing to do with me at all. Perhaps I should never had come.

"And why," I asked, my disappointment sharp on my tongue, "would the Night Court do such a thing?"

Lucien looked appalled at my outburst, as if I could make any claim for the sake of my court.

But instead of ignoring me, chiding me, or answering my brother, Tamlin turned those green eyes full of life on me and said, "Because the King of Hyburn is stirring and we're all at risk, even the humans and the wall itself."

The cold fear sluiced through me just as Tamlin tore his eyes from mine to the doorway at Rhysand's back where a familiar face stands with golden brown hair and newly pointed ears.