I spent a month and a half struggling to write up a nice, action-y, thriller-y, suspense-y chapter... and failed. It's currently rotting somewhere on my laptop. But I felt I had to put something up, seeing as how I've already made you people wait for so long.
My apologies for that, by the way. I've had midterms and a hectic return to university, plus some family issues that have made the past couple months or so real unpleasant. I haven't exactly been in the frame of mind to really think and plan out stuff the way this fic deserves.
Anyway, this short little thingy is inspired by this hella adorable video (youtube dot com/watch?v=IqebEymqFS8). It's just an excuse to write gratuitous EthanWill fluff, really. Enjoy~ :)
Summary: Ethan wakes up from surgery high as a kite... and doesn't remember Will.
Nobody Else (Can Take Me Higher)
Will returns from the bathroom to find Ethan awake, blinking groggily at his surroundings. He seems not to be aware of where he is, as evidenced by his confused expression and the way he's completely ignoring the fact that half his hair has been shaved off. But in all probability, thinks Will, it's because he hasn't noticed it yet, or there would have been one hell of a temper tantrum already.
"Hey," he says softly, moving to stand by Ethan's side. "How are you feeling?"
Ethan blinks up at him. "Wha- who're you?"
"What do you mean, who'm I?" asks Will, momentarily thrown. Is this a prank, or...? He frowns down at Ethan.
"I do not know you," Ethan tells him, like it's obvious. He looks completely earnest, and it hits Will that it's probably not a prank. No one can wake up from surgery and act so convincingly, not when they're so out of it–
Oh.
Oh.
Ethan's so drugged up and out of it he can't even remember Will. Will supposes he should be a little worried, but it's kind of, well... endearing. Because Ethan looks a lot like a baby chick and not a Super-Badass Secret Agent of Awesomeness.
(Benji's nickname. Will is only responsible for like... 70% of it. He's definitely responsible for the Badass part, arguing that Badarse doesn't have the same ring to it.)
"Who are you?" Ethan asks again, and then coughs.
That startles Will back to his senses, and he asks, "Do you want water?"
Ethan nods gratefully, and tries to smile. It comes out looking like he's going to cry, but Will doesn't comment. Instead he pushes the straw through Ethan's lips and watches as he takes small, careful sips, and when he's done Will puts the glass away and asks, "Better?"
"Yes," Ethan replies, and he does sound better. He tries another smile, a more successful one. "Are you – do you work here?"
Will shakes his head. He wonders if he should tell Ethan, or if it'll come to him slowly. He reaches over and presses the button to call a nurse, and sits back in the hard plastic chair he's been residing in for the past day and a half.
"You're really – really good-looking," Ethan says abruptly, lying back and settling into the covers. He still looks befuddled and his gaze is a bit glassy, but the compliment seems sincere all the same. "What's your name?"
"Will," answers the man, nonplussed. Is it normal to completely forget the man you've been living with for eight months now?
As if on cue, the door opens and a nurse comes in to check Ethan over. She takes his vital signs and asks a few questions, and then turns to Will. "How long's he been awake for?"
"A couple minutes or so," Will tells her. "I let him have some water. Uh – he doesn't remember me."
"Totally expected," she tells him with a small smile. "Those were some pretty potent drugs we put him on. He was in a lot of pain, you know, that was quite a spectacular injury he came in with."
Will scowls at the reminder of the day before, when Ethan had been brought in semi-conscious and covered in blood, Will right behind him. When a mission goes well it goes brilliantly, but when it goes bad it goes straight to shit. There's no in-between. They got caught on the shit has hit the fan end of the spectrum, and as usual Ethan did something completely reckless and completely heroic that's landed him in here with a punctured lung, liver contusions, a broken leg and a bullet graze to the side of his head.
Ethan doesn't half-ass anything either. He doesn't get a small cut or a bruise or even a pulled muscle, oh no, he gets the entire fucking package.
The nurse finishes up, and then says, "If there's anything you two want, let me know, okay?"
Will nods and thanks her, but Ethan's response is markedly different. "Isn't he so handsome?" he asks the nurse, grinning dopily at Will.
The nurse laughs. "Yes, he is," she agrees. "Do you know who he is?"
Ethan shakes his head no. "I was about to ask him when you came. Do you know who he is?"
"Yes, I do," she tells him. "Why don't I leave you two to it, then?"
Ethan turns to Will the minute she's gone. "You are, you know. Very handsome."
To his own surprise, Will feels his skin go warm all over, and he knows he's blushing pink. "Uh... thanks," he mutters, and Ethan offers him a brilliant smile.
"So," he says conversationally, though he still sounds sleep and his eyes have that glazed over look. "How do we know each other?"
Will leans forward in his plastic chair and smiles without really thinking about it. "Well – we're together."
Ethan blinks, smile melting off his face. "What – really?" he asks, and he sounds so shocked that Will feels offended for a moment, before he remembers Ethan's not really himself right now.
"What, there's something wrong with being with me?" he asks a bit defensively. You're arguing with a man high as a kite, his brain tells him.
Fuck you, brain, I'll say what I want, he tells his brain.
"No, it's just." Ethan looks absolutely gobsmacked. "I'm with you?"
Will nods, not knowing whether to laugh at Ethan's expression or be irritated. "Yeah."
"Ho-ooooly shit," Ethan exhales, drawing out the first syllable. "Are you serious? I get to be with you? You're so... so good-looking!"
Will blushes even harder, if it's possible, and really, why? Ethan's complimented him many times before; it's not exactly a new thing. Maybe it's because Ethan thinks he's handsome even when he doesn't even know who he is. The thought's flattering and makes Will fall just a little bit more in love – not that he'd thought that was even possible.
"Wow." Apparently Ethan's still suspended in disbelief. "Really, though? We're together? You and me?"
"Yeah," Will tells him, quirking a smile. "Yeah, we are."
"But – how?" Ethan is now looking at Will closely, like he can't quite figure it out.
Will's smile widens. "You annoyed me till I fell in love, actually," he tells Ethan. "You wouldn't leave me alone."
"And you agreed to live with me even after all that?" Ethan asks, astounded. "I must be the luckiest man in the world."
Will can't help it; he laughs. "Considering how often you escape death – yeah, I agree."
"Escape death?" repeats Ethan, brow furrowed. "Why?"
"It's kind of... in the job description," Will answers vaguely, waving an arm around. "That's what we do."
"So we're superheroes?"
"No." Before Ethan get look too disappointed, Will adds, "we're spies. Like, secret agents kind of spies."
"That is so cool," Ethan says, and just wow, he looks like an over-excited child on Christmas morning and Will wonders when was the last time Ethan let his walls drop like this, let the facade of team leader fall away for a minute. Even when it's just the two of them Ethan is calm, collected, has his head screwed on straight and knows just what to do. But this Ethan? This Ethan lets every emotion show itself on his face, and doesn't care.
Will kind of likes this Ethan.
(The compliments have less to do with it than the utter cuteness of it all.
...okay, that's a lie. Compliments and cuteness both at 50%.)
"So, tell me," Ethan says, and Will snaps back to attention. "How did we meet?"
"Long story," Will says, but Ethan is persistent.
"I got time."
"You need rest," Will informs him. As if proving his point, Ethan suppresses a yawn, and then pretends he didn't do it.
"No, I'm fine," he says stubbornly. "And I want to know about what could possibly make someone as – as amazing as you want to shack up with me."
Will laughs again. "I'm actually serious, it is a long story. You'll probably remember it when you wake up again."
"Okay, simpler question," Ethan says. "How long have I had you?"
Will thinks for a second, and then answers, "Around a year and a half. But we knew each other before that."
Ethan mulls this over, and then inquires, looking painfully earnest, "Do you love me?"
"Of course I do," Will answers with a smile, and yeah his cheeks are lighting up again, if the warmth on his face is anything to go by.
"You're blushing," Ethan informs him helpfully. "I see you do that a lot."
"It's not exactly a voluntary reaction," Will points out.
"It's very... endearing," Ethan tells him. "I can see why I fell in love with you." He's quiet for a moment, and then, "But seriously? I ended up with you?" and he sounds so surprised at his own luck, all over again.
"I think we established that already," Will says with a laugh. "Yes, you ended up with me, we've been together for over a year, and we live together now," he summarizes, watching as Ethan practically glows with delight. It's heartwarming.
"I cannot believe it," Ethan mutters, staring at Will like his face holds all the answers to every question ever. "I just... wow. I am so lucky."
"Me too," Will says softly, and puts his hand on Ethan's face. "I think you should sleep now," he says with a gentle smile. "You're tiring yourself out."
"But I want to talk to you," protests Ethan. "I really really really like you."
"We can talk about whatever you want when you wake up," Will promises him.
"Okay," Ethan says, looking mollified at the prospect. Then his expression changes, and Will understands – he's still himself enough to not say it out loud, but the expectant look on his face coupled with the little twitch of his fingers tells Will exactly what he wants to know.
"I'll stay," he says, and is proved right when Ethan offers him another brilliant smile. He leans forward and covers Ethan's hand with his own, and says, "Go to sleep."
Testament to how tired he really was but hiding it (because God forbid Ethan Hunt does what's good for him), he's out and snoring softly within minutes. Will smiles at his prone form, before putting his arms on the bed and resting his head on them.
He's woken by the sensation of rough, callused fingers carding through his hair, and he opens his eyes to see Ethan smiling at him. "Morning," says Ethan casually, like they're at home on a Saturday morning and not in the hospital.
"Morning," Will replies, then yawns. "How are you feeling?"
"Good," Ethan tells him. "They've got some pretty strong stuff here," he adds, referring to the painkillers.
Will snickers as he remembers the previous night. "Yeah, they do. How long you been awake?" He doesn't make a move to get up or even lift his head – Ethan playing with his hair feels really freaking nice. They've been so caught up in missions and work that he honestly can't remember the last time they just took a day and relaxed, and it catches up to him how much he misses it.
"Not long," Ethan answers his question. "How long have you been here?"
"Since they brought you in," Will answers, tangling his fingers with those of Ethan's free hand, taking care not to touch the IV. "It's been a couple days."
"Jane and Benji?" inquires Ethan.
"They're fine," Will answers with another yawn. "They'll be by to visit in the afternoon. They're kind of pissed at me because my staying here with you means they have to do the paperwork for the mission."
"So now I know your true intentions," teases Ethan. "You stayed here to escape paperwork."
"Oh no, you've caught me out," grins Will. "No, but really – you worried the shit out of me and I could sit here and threaten you and yell at you not to do it again but I might as well be talking to a brick wall, so." He leans forward a little and places a kiss on Ethan's lips. "I'll just settle for saying I'm glad you're okay. Or, you know, as okay as can be expected when it comes to you."
Ethan smiles at that, and then says, "How long till we can go home?"
"I think they wanna keep you another couple of days for observation," Will tells him.
"Hmm," hums Ethan thoughtfully, and absently tugs at a strand of Will's hair.
A comfortable silence follows, during which Ethan continues making a mess of Will's already bad bedhead, and Will closes his eyes again and decides that sleep sounds nice. God knows he hasn't been getting enough lately, what with the mission and then Ethan getting hurt.
He's just about dozed off, lulled by Ethan's fingers in his hair, when Ethan asks, "Why are you smiling?"
"Oh." He hadn't been aware that he was. "I guess I'm happy you're fine. And you know, back to being you."
"What does that mean?"
"Oh, you don't remember?" asks Will, grinning.
Ethan shakes his head, and then stops at once. "Why does my head feel weird?" He takes his hand out of Will's hair and puts it up to his own, and then freezes all over. The hand holding Will's increases its grip almost painfully. "Will," he says, and it feels a lot like the calm before the storm. "Where is my hair?"
"They had to shave half of it off," Will answers, trying and failing to suppress laughter. "So they could put in stitches."
"They couldn't do it without touching my hair?" Ethan asks, and his eye twitches a little.
"No, they couldn't, so suck it up and deal," grins Will. "Anyway, you look good with uneven, chopped off hair as well."
Ethan tries to glare but it comes out as more of a grimace, and he sighs. "Ugh," is all he says, before taking his hand away and putting it back in Will's hair.
"What don't I remember?" he asks a minute later.
"Well, you woke up in the middle of the night, last night," Will informs him, "and you were so high on painkillers you couldn't remember a thing. You just kept, like–" his grin grows wider, "–complimenting me. Like, you wouldn't stop talking about how good-looking I was. It was adorable."
Ethan makes a face. "Really?"
Will nods. "Yep. And then you asked how we knew each other, and I told you, and wow, you should've seen the look on your face."
"Let me guess, I began waxing poetical about how I'm the luckiest man in the world," Ethan says drily.
"Yes, actually," Will says, and kisses him again. "It was really... endearing."
"Well, I wasn't wrong," Ethan says with a smile. "What else did I say?"
"That's pretty much the gist of it," Will answers. "You just..." he waves his arm again in an all-encompassing gesture. "...made a lot of heart eyes. Which isn't any different from what you normally do, but you know. It was nice anyway. Mainly because you found me awesome even when you were stoned as shit."
Ethan flushes a little, light pink dusting his cheeks. "Well, you are awesome," he says finally. "So it's not like I wasn't right, or anything."
"Ah but you wouldn't be Ethan if you weren't convinced you're always right," teases Will, and kisses the tip of Ethan's nose.
"Well, I'm almost always right," Ethan points out. "We're all alive, aren't we?"
"Playing catch me if you can with a ruthless murderer isn't counted as 'almost always right'," Will lets him know with a snort. "It's counted under the heading of 'utter and reckless idiocy'."
Ethan cracks a smile, but doesn't argue any further. "At least you're self-aware now," sighs Will, and brushes what remains of Ethan's hair out of his eyes. "And you need a haircut."
Ethan's smile turns into a sour look. "Don't remind me."
"It's just hair. Not the end of the world."
Ethan makes a face but does not deign to otherwise reply. Instead he just continues messing up Will's hair, and then, some time later, yawns. "I think I should get back to sleep."
"You probably should," agrees Will. "You're not hungry though, are you?"
"Pretty sure I can't eat even if I wanted to," says Ethan, gesturing towards his abdomen with his free hand.
"Hm, yeah." Will kisses him one more time, and then says, "Okay, go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
Ethan smiles, and this time it's so different. Much softer, gentler and full of love, very reminiscent of the smiles he gives when Will does something particularly sweet for him. "I know," he says. "You always are."
Your feedback is greatly appreciated 33 I love you all, and thank you SO MUCH for sticking with me even though I'm not exactly diligent with my updates the way I should be. It means a lot to me.
Love,
Remy x