Authoress's Note: Yes, it's true, I'm FINALLY updating! After the longest streak of laziness/writer's block/too much schoolwork combined, I'm writing again! I'm working on the next chapter right now, too, so hopefully I can keep writing and not slack off again. :D This chapter is kind of different from previous chapters because it switches back and forth between Erek's and Tessa's POVs. Anyways, I hope you guys like it! Please review!
My Best Friend Is An Android 2
Chapter Thirteen: Home Ec
(Erek's POV)
"Okay, everyone, do you all know what to do?" Ms. Riley called out.
"No…," I whimpered.
I guess it was supposed to be rhetorical, though, because she didn't really listen or wait for an answer before saying, "Let's get started! You have the whole class period."
"Crap," I muttered to myself, quietly enough so that the humans couldn't hear. "I can't believe I'm about to fail a class taught by a human. Maybe I should just drop out now and get Lourdes to give me some pointers on being a convincing hobo."
I glanced around at the other kids who had to do their assignment today. All of them seemed to know what to do.
I sighed. You would think after living on Earth for over five thousand years I would know everything about humans and be able to imitate them perfectly, but I learn new things all the time. I mean, I think we do a pretty good job—we've had a lot of practice, and we do a whole heck of a lot of research, and our holograms are great, of course—but maintaining the cover of an average human is incredibly challenging.
Sometimes I start to think that there might be no such thing as an average human.
(Tessa's POV)
I looked over at Erek from my desk.
It was the day after we had met with the Animorphs. I had needed to leave to go to gymnastics (I guess Rachel wasn't really taking as many classes as she used to, since, you know, she's pretty busy with the whole saving-the-world thing), but Erek and the Animorphs had formed a plan for our next mission. Erek was going to tell me about it after school today.
That is, if he survived Home Ec class.
Ms. Riley had given half of our Home Ec class recipes and told them to prepare them to the best of their ability for a test grade. The other half, including me, would do ours tomorrow.
I glanced at Erek again. I was a little worried about the fact that Erek would be cooking. Yeah, I know he's an android and a complete genius and all, but he's not exactly known for using common sense in every situation. And he knows absolutely nothing about cooking.
And I do mean absolutely nothing.
I looked over at him for the third time. He hadn't moved at all since the teacher gave the assignment and was still just staring blankly into space like he was deep in thought or something.
"Erek? Are you working?" Ms. Riley asked.
Erek looked over at her helplessly.
"Why don't you start by reading the recipe?" suggested Ms. Riley.
I shook my head and vaguely wondered whether or not Erek's nonviolent programming would prevent him from accidentally setting the Home Ec room on fire.
(Erek's POV)
"Okay," I thought, "read the recipe. I can do that."
Gingersnaps
Prep: 25 minutes Bake: 8 minutes per batch Oven 375°
2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
1 cup packed brown sugar
¾ cup shortening
¼ cup molasses
1 egg
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp ground cloves
¼ cup granulated sugar
1. In a large mixing bowl combine about half of the flour, brown sugar, shortening, molasses, egg, baking soda, ginger, cinnamon, and cloves. Beat with an electric mixer on medium to high speed till combined. Beat or stir in remaining flour.
2. Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Roll balls in the granulated sugar to coat. Place balls 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake in a 375° oven for 8 to 10 minutes or till edges are set and tops are crackled. Cool cookies on cookie sheet for 1 minute. Transfer cookies to a wire rack and let cool. Makes about 48 cookies.
"Combine about half of the flour, brown sugar, shortening, molasses, egg, baking soda, ginger, cinnamon, and cloves," I mused. "But, does that just mean half of the flour, or half of the whole list?" I assumed it probably meant half of the whole list since half was underlined.
I looked in the cupboard and found a measuring cup. Then I used the 1 cup measurement to measure out 1 ⅛ cups of flour, ½ cup of brown sugar, ⅜ cup of shortening, and ⅛ cup of molasses and put it all into the mixing bowl.
It was a little weird, because I would have thought they would have put marks on the measuring cup for half a cup and ¼ of a cup and everything, but they didn't, so I had to kind of estimate it.
I mean, I'm sure it was pretty accurate since I'm an android, but it was a little hard to pour the ingredients into that tiny cup, so it might not have actually been that accurate.
And it kind of made a mess all over the counter. And the floor. And me.
Despite these problems, I did start to feel a little better about the assignment. It was just following directions, after all. How hard could it be?
(Tessa's POV)
Really, Erek, is it really that hard? I thought with a sigh for my best friend.
Erek had somehow managed to spill molasses all over the floor and get his face and hair completely covered with flour. But he looked kind of happy.
Is he actually enjoying Home Ec class?
No, he's probably just enjoying making a mess.
I watched him carefully carry an egg from the fridge to his workspace like it was his baby, slip in the molasses, and end up sprawled on the ground with a broken egg beside him.
He didn't look quite as happy anymore.
Poor Erek. I sighed, smiled, and turned back to the book I was reading.
(Erek's POV)
Maybe cooking wasn't as easy as I had thought, because I had no idea how to put half of the egg I was using (the third one I had taken out of the fridge) into the bowl.
I tried breaking it just a little bit—
Oops.
My homeworld had a gravity four times stronger than Earth's gravity, so we Chee are incredibly strong by human standards. Normally, this is very cool. But sometimes—like when you're trying to write with one of those ridiculously breakable wood pencils humans use, or, say, when you're trying to crack an egg without completely crushing it—it's not.
So much for only putting in half the egg. Not only was the whole egg in, but the shell (crushed into bits) was, too.
Maybe no one would be able to tell.
I quickly moved on to the next step.
1 tsp baking soda.
What on Earth is tsp supposed to mean?
I looked in the cupboard again and found a little measuring spoon that said 1 tablespoon.
Okay, that makes sense—t is for table and sp is for spoon.
I looked around for the baking soda and found something called baking powder, which I assumed was the same thing. I added half of a tablespoon of baking powder, ginger, and cinnamon, and ¼ of a tablespoon of cloves to the mix.
Beat with an electric mixer on medium to high speed till combined.
(Tessa's POV)
Some time later, I heard an extremely loud whirring noise. Then…
KA-THUNK! KA-THUNK! KA-THUNK!
Splattering. Screams from the whole class, including Erek.
A louder THUNK!
Silence.
I didn't even look; I didn't really want to know.
(Erek's POV)
Well, luckily, not very much of the mixture was lost during the mixing, but I added a little bit more of each ingredient just to be safe. Unfortunately, I accidentally crushed the second egg too. I kind of wanted to beat it some more to get out the bigger pieces of eggshell, but I decided that using the mixer again might not be a good idea.
The next step said Beat or stir in remaining flour.
Nothing about the remaining amounts of the other ingredients.
Suddenly I realized that when it had said to combine about half of the flour, brown sugar, shortening, etc., the half part only applied to the flour.
I sighed. So much for "just following directions."
I quickly added the remaining halves of the ingredients, hoping that the order wasn't all that important. Then I stirred it all together.
I tried to make the dough into little balls and roll them in the sugar like the recipe said, but it didn't really work, so I just kind of dripped the dough into blobs on the cookie sheet and sprinkled the sugar on top.
Okay. Now all I had left to do was bake them. I turned the oven to 375° and waited for it to heat up. A minute passed. It didn't seem to be getting any hotter.
I glanced over at the kid next to me, whose name was Phil. He was a Controller, actually; his Yeerk name was Yaheen four three seven. Since he thought I was a Controller too, he wouldn't be suspicious if I asked him a question about human technology. Of course, we both had to act like normal humans.
"Hey, Phil," I whispered. "How long does it take for these ovens to heat up?"
"Like ten minutes." He looked at me. "You do know you're supposed to turn the oven on before you start, don't you?"
"Um… yeah. Of course. Sure I do."
Great. Wonderful. It was almost the end of class. By the time the oven was hot enough, the cookies probably wouldn't have enough time to bake.
Wait a minute… the oven's temperature goes as high as 550°.
I could easily do the math. If they take eight minutes to bake at 375°, they'll only take about five and a half minutes at 550°… right?
Perfect. I smiled and turned the knob up to 550°.
(Tessa's POV)
Remember when I said I had wondered whether or not Erek's nonviolent programming would prevent him from accidentally setting the Home Ec room on fire?
Well, apparently it wouldn't.
Okay, he didn't really set the whole room on fire, just the cookies and the inside of the oven. Ms. Riley had to use the fire extinguisher, though.
Ms. Riley had to taste all the cookies as part of the grade. She didn't look too happy about having to taste Erek's.
"All right, Erek, bring me yours," she sighed.
Erek picked up the warped and partially melted cookie sheet with the "gingersnaps" encrusted onto it. He took a few steps toward her and then froze suddenly. He stared straight forward with a weird look on his face.
"Erek. Erek!"
He didn't move.
Ms. Riley sighed deeply and got up from her desk. She reached out to take one of the cookies.
Stiffly, mechanically, Erek dropped the cookie sheet on the ground with a clang. He blinked.
"Erek!" Ms. Riley said, exasperated. "That's it! You're getting a zero!"
He looked pretty dejected as we left the classroom a few moments later.
"Hey, it's okay," I tried to reassure him. "I know you, um, tried your best. But why didn't you just let her taste them? Ms. Riley's nice; I'm sure she would have at least given you a D or something."
Erek looked at me mournfully. "I tried to give them to her," he said. "But my programming wouldn't let me."