Author's Note: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my loyal readers. Hope you have a wonderful holiday and all the best in the new year!

Ellie was getting out of bed in the morning and getting herself ready for the day while Jack was already out in the barn taking care of the animals. It was Christmas Eve morning, and just like every year, Jack and Ellie still had to get up early and work. The downside to living on a farm and caring for animals was that there was always something that needed to be done. While the workload was lessened in winter because there were no crops, keeping the animals warm, safe, healthy, and happy was a job in itself.

It was a cold winter morning. Jack always returned inside freezing cold and he needed a hot breakfast to warm up. Out in the country, the weather wet to the extremes. It was really hot in summer and really cold in the winter. There was already about a foot of snow on the ground and more was coming down, ensuring the town would have a very white Christmas.

Ellie didn't have plans for the day. Nothing out of the usual. Since Emily had left for her Samurai duties, and Serena had followed, wouldn't be the same. She and Jack had planned to go to the midnight mass in town, and they would eat dinner together and trade gifts, but Emily had suddenly returned home for Christmas and plans had changed slightly.

War was horrible. War was terrifying. Even the victors couldn't leave the battlefield without scars or trauma. Ellie remembered coming home after her war and suffering through nightmares, flashbacks, depression, hyper vigilance, and more for months. Some of her symptoms only faded away after years, and some she still experienced from time to time, especially while Serena and Emily were Rangers. However, she had learned to return to her normal life with help from her family and Dr. Fletcher, the Samurai's therapist.

Now it was Emily's turn to suffer and Ellie was doing all she could to reassure her daughter that everything would be okay for her. Emily was having nightmares and flashbacks and worries. She felt tremendous guilt for the lives lost during the war, and how people had suffered for two years. Ellie had seen this coming long ago, long before Serena fell ill and Emily needed to be considered to take her place as the yellow Ranger. Serena had been trained to be a warrior; to be tough. She took what life gave her and pushed through it. She had done so throughout her illness, never once showing her parents or her sister she wanted to give up. Serena had been born for and bred for war, because everyone thought it would be Serena taking up the responsibility. Emily spent her childhood protected. If Serena would have to face war, Ellie, and Jack especially, wanted Emily as far away from it as possible. Emily had been taught to be kind and empathetic, even to the kids who bullied her. She had been born with and raised to have a kind heart.

Dealing with the aftermath of war, having to live knowing she couldn't save everyone and that no matter how hard she tried, innocent people were hurting, was wearing her down. Ellie knew how it felt for Emily and she was doing all she could to comfort her youngest daughter – but she felt like she wasn't enough.

After getting ready for the day, she walked down the hall to Emily's room. A part of helping Emily readjust was getting her back into a normal routine – showing her that life went on and people moved on. She was going to ask Emily to help her breakfast. She knocked on the door but there was no answer. Assuming Emily was still asleep, Ellie opened the door quietly and walked into the room. It was Christmas Eve, Emily was hurting and upset, but Ellie couldn't allow herself to sugar coat the rest of her daughter's life. Being home on the farm meant early mornings. It always had. Ellie reached out and gently placed her hand on Emily's shoulder and shook her softly. That was more than enough to wake Emily, who snapped out of her sleep, grabbed her mother, shoved her down on the bed, and screamed.

"Emily," Ellie called softly and wrestled with her daughter for a moment as Emily slowly realized she was awake. This happened sometimes when Emily was sleeping. Ellie would unknowingly wake her from a terrifying nightmare and Emily's first reaction was to attack or defend herself. Fortunately, even after years of retirement from being a Ranger, Ellie was still strong enough to hold her own – especially against her daughters. She didn't consider herself to be a good mother if she wasn't stronger than her daughters. It was for times like these, where they needed her to be able to defend herself or even fight back.

"Sweetheart, it's okay. You're awake," Ellie managed to sit up and hugged Emily tightly, "Another one?"

"I killed everyone," Emily whispered. "Everyone in Panorama City was dead and I was covered in their blood. I don't know… I didn't see it happen but I knew… I killed them."

"It's hard," Ellie nodded and then gave Emily a kiss on the side of the head, "You're awake. Panorama City is fine. You're not a murderer. How about some breakfast? Shall we do a traditional Christmas Eve breakfast?"

Emily nodded her head slowly and with her mother's help she crawled out of bed and walked downstairs. She was a little shaky from her nightmare and knew it would wear off after a couple of hours of being awake. Mornings were always hardest, followed by nights. Anytime Emily was left on her own with her thoughts, she struggled with the images of the final battle and her guilt. Already once she had climbed into bed with her parents and spent the night with them after her thoughts kept her awake and in terror.

Ellie handed Emily a loaf of bread, "You'll be in charge of toast for now. Remember, your father likes them extra crispy."

"Burned," Emily whispered and forced herself to smile. Forgetting about her nightmares was easier when she pretended to be happy. Fake it 'till you make it.

"In other words," Ellie chuckled and nodded while she pulled out three frying pans. Christmas Eve breakfast usually consisted of toast, bacon, eggs, and pancakes. Her daughters' favourites. "What time were you thinking of calling Mike today? Your father and I would like to wish him, your sister, and Terran a Merry Christmas."

"Maybe more than once," Emily whispered and picked up the home landline. Her nightmare had been the worst one yet, and she knew that if she shared it with Mike he could help her calm down. Checking the clock, it was still a little too early for him to be awake, but she needed to talk to him. She was sure he would understand. She was sure he would want her to call him. Thinking of how much he cared about her and how well he took care of her, Emily couldn't help but keep a genuine smile on her face.

It slipped off when no one answered the phone. James, Serena, and Mike were all supposed to be home and they were all ignoring her call. None of them would ever ignore her in a time like this. Even James, who she had only met within the year, cared about her enough to answer a phone in the early morning. Emily considered him to be her big brother, and not just because he was unofficially officially married to her sister.

"Maybe they can't hear the phone," Ellie suggested. "You can try again later. For now, we can talk."

"But you're just going to tell me…"

"I'll just listen today."

Emily sighed but gave into her mother's request, "I feel like I did kill all those people…"