Disclaimer: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

Chapter Rating: PG-13

Author's Note: Here we goooooo! Sorry for the lack of updates. University life, you know? Or more like lack of life at uni, you know?

Oh, and just a side note, some of you are really sweet and rush to my defense if I get flamed. The thing is, I don't mind flames because they just up my review count and I have a friend who pays me a dollar every time I get one (and for those of you who live in dorms, you know how valuable dollar bills are when you have to order takeout). So, I'd rather hear what y'all think about my story than have you kind people waste your time replying to whomever. Also, if you are reading this and you really hate my stories, one, wow, you read a lot of a fic you hate, and two, do leave a review. Thanks.

My E-mail: rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments, questions, or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing and keeps the chapters coming.)

/ Dead / Last /

By Rosesareblue

Chapter Thirteen: Black Rose

Sasuke did not know why, but he found himself at Hinata's house.

For the raven-haired boy, the days before the concert seemed to drag by at the pace of a snail. Not any snail. A maimed, mutilated, warped snail on slow mode. School was one big DUUUUUH. Home was one big (insert the worst word you know here). Naruto was taking his vow pretty seriously and seemed to have sold his soul to practice. Supposedly, he slept during classes (and very diligently, too), but all other times he was at the Dead Last studio. If the dobe were at home, he was locked away in his room, appearing only to go to the bathroom and even then he had earphones on with music playing so loudly from them that the Uchiha wondered why the usuratonkachi's head didn't explode. Gaara seemed fine with this arrangement somehow. Even when Naruto went psycho bitch and tore up a sheet of music or hurled his headphones off only to retrieve them again, Gaara rubbed cheeks with Naruto and "there there"ed him back to sanity. Sasuke started to wonder if Buddha lived in the redhead; for a guy suffering one-sided-love, he seemed to snore through it pretty bitchingly.

Sasuke, however, was not taking it so well. Sometimes, he asked himself "WHAT DID I DO IN MY PAST LIFE TO DESERVE THIS", especially since Naruto had stopped speaking to Sasuke all together (not that he could have heard Sasuke's replies with those earphones on). Some other times, the Uchiha contemplated headdesking himself until he forgot all this and moved on to NeverNeverland. And most of the time, he hated everyone's guts: Naruto-that-traitor's, Gaara-that-irritating-asshole's, and Naruto's-lover-who-looked-like-a-boy-version-of-Ino-in-Sasuke's-mind. But the Uchiha's pride didn't let him shave his head to become a monk in Tibet, because that would just be giving that eyebrow-less gay freak what he wanted. So, from the outside, Sasuke might have looked fine; pissed off, sure, but fine. On the inside, Sasuke was dying. Surely, he would not last until the concert or the dinner party. The days of snails would kill him.

But Uchiha Sasuke would not go without a fight. But how could he fight? He knew how to kick swipe legs from under his opponents and he knew how to bash teeth in, but one, he didn't know yet who the guy that Naruto liked was, and two, even if he mangled that SOB, he doubted it would win Naruto over (if there was even a millionth of a chance it would, Sasuke would have done that plan, which he liked). And the coax-his-body-over-first-with-sex-and-his-heart-later strategy seemed to have failed miserably, else Naruto should love him at level one hundred and two by now (not that Sasuke was counting).

So, if Sasuke fought at all, it would have to be some epic battle of, ugh, feelings. Those things that girls talked about. To think that female knowledge would have actual relevance in real life… the Uchiha would laugh if the situation weren't so dire. But who to get this information from? Ino? Of course not, she failed with Naruto too, so what the fuck could she know? Sakura? Maybe, but if Sakura knew anything, Ino somehow knew it too, and then all of Konoha would know that Sasuke cared about, ew, feelings. Hinata? The safest bet since she kept her mouth shut, so Hinata it was.

That's why Sasuke had copped a ride with Hinata to her house and was now staring with a WTF face up at a 10 meter portrait of an elegantly handsome pale boy with long straight black hair that hung in the white-eyed girl's room.

Hinata laughed awkwardly. "Neji onii-sama… put it there… in case I… forgot what… he looked like…"

Forgot what he looked like? With a portrait that fucking big, Hinata should be paralyzed with fear that she could never forget what he looked like. Sasuke's skepticism must have appeared on his face, because Hinata giggled again and pushed a hidden button under her tea table.

With a quiet hum of the motor, the portrait flipped around to reveal a wall covered with posters of Dead Last.

"Please keep this… our secret…" Hinata said shyly. "Neji onii-sama… doesn't approve…"

"Of rock music?" Sasuke said distractedly, pulling close to the hidden stash to examine a poster of Naruto wearing a fluffy turtleneck and hugging a stuffed frog. The smile in this was fake, the raven-haired boy could tell now. The little twitch in Naruto's picture-perfect smile, that gave it away.

"Of… male musicians…" Hinata dropped her gaze when Sasuke stared and quickly changed the subject. "Are you… here to discuss… what you are going to wear… to the concert?"

That's one line I will never cross, the Uchiha thought vehemently and instead forced a feminine giggle, flipping his ponytail over his shoulder and plopping down on one of Hinata's many velvet armchairs. "I wanted to ask about… a boy."

He would not blush. He would not blush. With sheer Uchiha will, he would not fucking blush…

Hinata looked vaguely surprised by Sasuke's faint blush, sitting down across from him. After a while, the dark-haired girl said, "You want to… talk to me about… Naruto-sama… and your feelings… for him?"

The Uchiha stayed calm though a million questions were shooting through his head. Did her pearly eyes see through him or something? What witchcraft was this? Was this some female genetic mutation that allowed them to guess the truth when feelings were involved? No wonder their gender could never get anything done, having to be constantly aware of sappy bullshit…

Clearing his throat, Sasuke said nonchalantly, "It's not like I like the dobe. In fact, he annoys me to no end with his retarded ways."

Hinata smiled. "I see… so you really really… love Naruto-sama… not only as your idol… but as… the one boy for you."

OMG. What the fuck was going on here? Did Sasuke say that? He hadn't said all that embarrassing crap, had he? Did this bitch not speak Japanese like he did? Had he said something in coded girl-talk? No, no, keep your cool, Uchiha. She might have just made a lucky guess. Right, lucky guess.

"Besides, Naruto's not interested in me," he said.

Hinata sat up straight in her chair, her face paling even more, "Naruto-sama… likes someone else…? Oh Sasuke-san… who is it? Who?"

Sasuke decided to just accept the fact he was conversing with a mindreading alien and get the information he came to get.

"I don't know. We'll find out at the party." With a flicker of red in his black eyes, he asked, "So what do I do about it if I want Naruto's not being interested to change?"

The Hyuuga heiress shook her head firmly. "No… don't… it won't work… Naruto-sama's… everyone's idol… it's not fair… for you to try… to have him… for yourself…"

"This other guy is more a threat to that than me," Sasuke said. "Help me."

The tone of his "help me" was more "obey me", but Hinata didn't let that bother her. Instead she looked up at the poster that Sasuke had admired, wondering how many nights she'd spent crying in her room when she felt lonely and had been rescued by that smile. Hinata had never dreamed then that she'd get to know Naruto-sama as a real person, but she had always liked to imagine his smile and his music were for someone like her. She would be brave because Naruto-sama's smile and songs were telling her so beautifully to be brave. And so Hinata had become a devout Dead Last fan and Naruto's fan. The first time she'd ever explicitly gone against Neji onii-sama's wishes was letting Ino-chan sneak her out to a Dead Last concert. And there she'd seen Naruto-sama up close and thought here was a real boy, saying and doing wonderful things. Real things.

Hinata had thought that, but she hadn't fully believed it. She'd turned a deaf ear on any scandal of Naruto-sama's, and there had been quite a lot of scandals, finding them nearly sacrilegious and hating anyone that hated the boy that sung her to sleep even during her loneliest nights, when her parents and Neji onii-sama were far away on business. But maybe it was also because she wanted to believe that Naruto-sama was perfect. The smile, the songs, the singer were perfect. In fact, they were a fantasy that protected her.

But now she had seen up close that Naruto-sama was indeed real. He could get hurt. He could be unhappy. So Hinata should do what was best for Naruto-sama, even if it broke her perfect fantasy of him. Even if it meant Sasuke-san.

"What… would you do for… Naruto-sama?" the pearly eyed girl asked quietly.

"Do for him?" Sasuke shrugged her question off, thinking it was silly. "I'd like him. What else would I do?"

"Everyone who… bought that poster… can do… that too."

"You don't understand," the Uchiha scolded mildly, as though he was talking to the lame animal that he was wonted to compare all females to. "Not me, the problem is him. How do I get him to like me? Feelings and shit."

Hinata blinked. "Why should… he like you…?"

"I like him. Don't make me repeat things."

"If he doesn't… know how your feelings… are different… why would you be… special?"

"Look, he and I have history."

"He can make… history with… someone else…" Hinata bowed her head apologetically when the Uchiha trained his intense glare on her. "I am… sorry… I don't mean… to make you… feel badly… Naruto-sama… he has many… who like him… and it seems to make him… not happy but… unhappy instead…"

"That's because he has emotional baggage like a girl…" Sasuke cleared his throat. "I mean, like us…"

"Then… don't like him…" Hinata said, pouting.

Sasuke wondered if the pearly-eyed girl was going for a sabotage plan. But he had to refrain from punching her, that wouldn't be too feminine, would it? So instead he said wearily, "But I do. Unfortunately enough."

"Then… like him… all of him…" Hinata replied and said worriedly, "I agree… Naruto-sama is very… hard to love… in his weaknesses… especially if you are… new to love Sasuke-san… maybe…"

The Uchiha was ticked because even mindreading alien voodoo didn't have instantaneous solutions, "Maybe what?"

"You should… like Ryoichi-san… in our class… instead…"

"Who the fuck? Why would I?"

Hinata giggled. "He… likes you… already…"

Sasuke's face made his answer very obvious.

As he had predicted, the Hyuuga heiress seemed not to have repeated the contents of their conversation to Sakura-queen-of-gossip and Ino-foghorn. Instead, the darkhaired girl started giving him shit. Like a book on blood types and horoscopes (Sasuke and Naruto's results were pretty darn good; the Uchiha decided the book deserved a special place beside his bed). Like magazines with dumbass articles like "Does he secretly love you? Take our quiz!" (Sasuke had gotten the result "He secretly hates your guts" and had flushed the magazine down the toilet, flooding the entire apartment) and "What type of guy is he? Find out now!" (Naruto was apparently 3% Dork 5% Emo 12% Slut and 80% Hungry… WTF?). Like random makeup and clothes with notes saying "Read in Candy that Naruto-sama likes this color", "This will bring out your eyes", "No worries, use this for cleavage".

It got so bad that Sakura cornered him one day at school and demanded, "Why are you and Hinata-chan so friendly lately? And so secretive, huh?"

The pink-haired girl had caught Sasuke slightly off guard because he had been reading Hinata's gift "How to Make Yourself the Valentine Gift" behind a copy of War and Peace. But the mindreading alien seemed to have prepared for such an occasion as well because she came over and said without a blink, "Because… Sakura-chan and Ino-chan… are best friends again… and I am… jealous…"

Even suspicious Sakura seemed to take the bait, blushing and swatting Hinata's shoulder, "Don't embarrass me, Hinata-chan. But we are close lately, huh?"

"Almost like… lovers…"

"Gyaa, Hinata-chan~"

"Sakura-chan~"

And then the two girls had gone off giggling like hyenas and cuddling, leaving Sasuke re-counting in his head the days he had to pretend to be one of those brainless drones. Certainly, he didn't appreciate Hinata's gifts. If she didn't have a good solution, she should butt out without meddling.

The only reason the Uchiha had worn the stupid makeup and Wonder Bra she'd given him on the day of Naruto's concert at all was because he felt sorry for the little white-eyed girl for trying so hard. Only reason, got that?

On concert day, the three girls appeared in party dresses, like Sasuke himself, and the raven-haired boy wondered who'd invited each of them to the dinner afterwards. Certainly not Naruto or he'd have heard of it. Maybe not, since the Uchiha barely saw Naruto at all, despite the fact that they lived in the same house. And at school, he'd only caught a few glimpses of Naruto and Gaara bent over their desks in their first year classroom, sleeping soundly during breaks, while their female classmates kept guard for any noise (shhh-ing to death anyone who so much as coughed as they passed in the hall) and taking silent phone pictures of the dozing brothers side by side. The only comfort in all this was, by all reports it seemed Naruto really was preparing for the concert, not running around after the mysterious guy who'd rejected him.

Though the four girls had skipped afternoon classes to go home, change at ninja speed, and get in line at the Soundless Live House, they arrived to find fifty girls there already who had apparently found it worthwhile to skip the entire day of school. Twenty of them had given up their spots when Hinata had offered them 10000 yen each, and ten more at 50000 yen each (apparently, the Hyuuga heiress had told her Neji onii-sama she was going shoe shopping, so he'd given her some pocket money). But the twenty remaining would not be budged by any amount of money.

"We're fated to look over twenty heads at Nat-chan," Sakura wailed, her mascara starting to run in her tears. "We might as well be on the other side of the MOOOOOON. I can't live with this, I can't! I'm going to kill myself, right now! Right here!"

When the pink haired girl whipped out a razor from her purse and announced she would now publically shave her legs without water, five sickened girls let them go ahead of them. But for the remaining fifteen girls, Sakura's life was worth less than one Dead Last concert up close.

Sakura dabbed at her smeared eyes. "Damnit, what do we do now?"

Ino slung an arm around her best friend and took out a handful of pictures from her bosom. "Leave it to me, girl friend."

With that the blonde girl cleared her throat and said magic words, "I have baby pictures of Uzumaki Naruto."

When twelve more girls were behind them, Sakura asked a crucial question, "Where did you get those?"

Ino grinned. "Naruto's older brother Kankuro. Don't worry, I photoshopped the naked rumps out of those, so I still have the real gold mine at home… and don't look at me like that, bitches, I'll give you copies later, all right? Geez!"

But there was still three girls ahead of them in line, and it was almost time for the concert. The four huddled around to strategize.

Hinata: "What do we… do?"

Sakura: "It's only three people. Maybe we should call it quits?

Ino: "Yeah? What if they are the types that raise their cameras over their heads?"

Sakura, panicking: "What do we do? What do we do?"

Hinata: "I guess there's… only one thing… we can do…"

Ino, sighing: "I really wish it hadn't come to this."

Sakura, shaking her head: "They brought this upon themselves."

With that, the girls turned to one Uchiha Sasuke. Already, the raven-haired girl was doing some stretching exercises and cracking her knuckles. It was over in a flash. Sakura screamed, "Hey! Isn't that a BLACK VAN?" In the split second all eyes of witnesses were turned elsewhere, Sasuke made disappear from this world three unfortunate fangirls.

Sakura rubbed cheeks with the railing that rimmed the small stage, blocking fans from climbing on over the speakers and spoke over the noise of the crowd, "To think Uzumaki Naruto will step on this stage in just a few minutes."

Ino snorted. "We see him every day at school. C'mon, Shikamaru-sama we haven't seen in FOREVER. How long has it been since they hosted a live?"

"Over… three months…" Hinata had to strain to be heard. "It has been… forever…"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Even when Naruto's close he's a million light years away so I'm going to cherish tonight."

Sasuke thought that was the smartest thing the pink-haired girl had ever said.

"Hey, hey, do you know that girls aren't allowed to transfer to our school anymore?" Ino said, laughing. "Especially since Gaara came, I think that's like a real rule now."

Sakura giggled. "Oh yeah, I heard about that. Our school's suddenly the hardest one to test into too. I see a lot of middle school girls at exam school and they have like, demon fire in their eyes."

Hinata giggled too. "At this rate… we will be… graduates of the… number one… high school in Japan!"

But the Uchiha didn't fucking care about high school rank. He wished the concert would start already, so he could check if the usuratonkachi was actually alive after all that practicing. His wish was soon granted; hundreds of females having seizures marked the beginning of the performance.

First Kiba, wearing a tuxedo, rushed onto stage with a canine whoop, "Miss me? Ha?"

Into the hysteric screams, the bassist pulled a red rose from his breast pocket, kissed it, and threw. Hands groped, reached, struck. Voices cried and moaned. Hinata was jumping up and down, clapping.

Then Chouji, also in a tuxedo, ran out, punching the air. "Give it up for Dead Last!"

The screaming voices merged into one ear-shattering roar. Chouji's rose was bright yellow, glistening in the many showers of the moving lights as it fell into the greedy crowd. Chouji's name was chanted, then Kiba's, then Chouji's again. Sakura was cheering, ecstatic.

Next came Shikamaru in the same tuxedo, walking languidly. At the edge of the stage, he bowed.

He held his rose for a while, showing off its pure white petals and possibly driving some reaching girls to insanity. Instead of tossing it, he dropped it over the railing. With an athlete's reflexes, Sasuke had snatched it out of midair. Before he had time to wonder what the heck to do with it, some bitch on his right slapped it from his hand. Ino literally flew through the air, jump kicking the girl to the floor (and possibly her premature grave), and retrieved the white rose.

She turned to her raven-haired friend, breathless, "Can I have this?"

Sasuke's consent was swallowed up by the crowd demanding Naruto, while the rest of the band turned their attentions to their respective instruments. But the blond vocalist did not appear on stage until the Uchiha started to suspect the concert a huge conspiracy. Hello? The raven-haired boy had had his heart's purity(?) stampeded on by the ruthless dobe, was it asking for too much to have that wound eased slightly by the sight of said dobe in a tuxedo with a rose? WAS IT?

Apparently it was, because there was a ten minute pause that felt like ten hours between the appearance of the rest of the band and Naruto. And after the ten long minutes of waiting, all lights in the live house went out.

"A BLACK OUT? WHAT ABOUT THE CONCERT?"

"WHY DIDN'T I BRING MY NIGHT GOGGLES? I'M SO DUUMMMB!"

"GIVE US UZUMAKI NARUTO! NARUTOOOOOOO!"

"BURN THE OWNER OF THE LIVE HOUSE AND USE HIS FLAMING BODY AS A LIGHT SOURCE!"

"THE LIVE MUST GO ON!"

"NARUTO! NARUTOOOOOOOOOO!"

Suddenly, Chouji broke out into a steady beat and Shikamaru and Kiba started strumming the opening threads of the song "Konoha". And Naruto's voice in pitch blackness, raw, not coming through a mike, "The leaf dances in flames / and our eternity begins now."

Our eternity begins now…

His voice is different, Sasuke thought. It's older. There's no way that's the voice that calls me "sempai". This voice belongs in this dark room, not on a sunlit school top or a cozy apartment. It's surprising and painful and beautiful.

But soon the raven-haired boy's hearing was bothered by the growing protests from fans, realizing that the lights weren't coming on. They wanted to see the vocal, not hear him.

"WE CAN'T SEE HIS FACE!"

"WHAT ARE YOU IDIOT STAFF PEOPLE DOING?"

"TURN ON THE LIGHT! TURN ON THE LIGHT!"

"NARUTO'S TOO PRETTY TO BE KEPT IN THE DARK!"

"SING WITH THE LIGHT ON! ARE YOU JOKING?"

"SHOW US YOUR TUXEDO! PLEASE!"

"That's too harsh," Sakura growled, besides Sasuke. "They aren't even listening to him sing at all."

"They aren't… his real… fans…" There were tears in Hinata's voice. "Naruto-sama… is going to be terribly hurt… by this…"

Ino was outraged. "He sounds so good, too. This might be his best performance of this! And the rest of the band is amazing too, playing in the dark! Those jerks!"

On Uchiha Sasuke's part, he might have done something rather brash, if Naruto didn't stop singing abruptly at that moment. The raven-haired boy was close enough to the stage to hear the blond move through the darkness. There was a crack of the microphone and Dead Last's vocal addressed the crowd, "Do you want to see me?"

"UZUMAKI NARUTO! UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"I LOVE YOU! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

To these shouts, Naruto snarled, "Shut up."

Uncomfortable murmuring and hurt gasps went through the crowd at Naruto's curt, very unexpected words. The vocalist continued into that startled silence, "If you are out there, please listen to me. If you really want to see me, look more carefully."

A match was lit in the pitch black room, illuminating a single black rose. A pair of slender hands moved the flame on to the flower's delicate pedals, and it caught alight and started to burn. When there was only the stem left, the slender hand pinched out the flame. At the same time, the live house lights came back on, blinding everyone in the room so that they groaned in pain.

When Sasuke could see properly again, he looked. And looked. In the middle of that stage was, at last, Uzumaki Naruto. He wasn't in a tuxedo. In fact, he wasn't even a he. He was wearing a long blonde wig braided down his front and a full women's lavish kimono. His electric blue eyes and pink pink lips were smiling, the prettiest smile that the Uchiha had ever seen. Boy or girl. Real or fantasy.

The screaming started and Naruto, with a distinctly masculine shout, started singing, joined by his teammates in what the papers called the next day Dead Last's greatest performance.

"I liked the part where he started loosening his kimono!" Sakura said to Hinata in the black van, over Chouji pressing his hands to his ears. "I almost DIED! I think a little bit of me DID DIE!"

"I liked… the part… where it started… coming… off…" Hinata said to Sakura, over Kiba sighing.

"GYAH! ME TOO ME TOO!"

Sasuke, suffering a major migraine from the female shrieking (though he agreed with both their assessments), wondered why he had to ride THIS vehicle. But Shikamaru, who was technically his "date", was riding this one, so the raven-haired boy didn't have much choice. Ino, Kankuro, Gaara, and Naruto had rode off on Kankuro's Porsche, even before the black van headed out as if those bastards had coordinated their quick getaway. Normally, such behavior on Ino's part would have inspired a two-hour "what's with her?" conversation between Sakura and Hinata, but the two were much too happy listing the ten billion things they liked about Naruto at the concert to pay much heed.

"I liked… when his voice… trembled… just so after… Kage no Kingu…" Hinata squealed.

"OHMIGOD! I LIKED THAT TOO!"

"Really…?"

"REALLY!"

"Gyaaaaa…aaaaaa…"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Do you have aspirin?" Kiba asked Chouji.

"I was going to ask you for some." The drummer glared with a "what did you get me into?" look.

"I have some," Sasuke spoke up. He always had painkillers. They would always have painkillers too, if they were around girls as half as much as the raven-haired boy himself.

"I liked it when Naruto told everyone to 'shut up'. I wish he told me to 'shut up' – to my face!" Sakura crowed, hugging Hinata over Kiba (who muttered to himself, "Yeah? Me too").

"I liked… it too… maybe we are… masochistic?" Hinata shrieked, hugging back (as Chouji muttered backed to Kiba, "All men who want to date women are masochistic.")

"Gyaaaaaa!"

"Gyaaaa…"

Shikamaru nudged the Uchiha sitting next to him. "So, he eventually came with Gaara."

The raven-haired boy shrugged. "Yeah."

"He borrowed that kimono from Gaara too…"

At that, Sasuke looked up and asked not the obvious question ("Why does Gaara own a woman's kimono?") but, "Gaara came to practice with you guys? Didn't he have photo shoots?"

"Yeah, but he came to some of the practices." Shikamaru caught Sasuke's glare and retracted, "Our tuxedos are also from one of the lines that he works for. He came to help us with the set, not just to hang out with 'Ruto."

"How is the idiot at work?" the raven-haired boy said offhandedly, as if he hadn't maneuvered this question.

"Insane," was the immediate response. Shikamaru explained wryly, "I mean, I'm glad he's taking music so seriously, but he was serious to begin with. Sure, he played around with a bunch of girls now and then, but when it came to practice he was always attacking it heart and soul. But now… geez. The other day, Tem found him passed out in the sound room, with the cup ramen she'd left for him untouched. Ramen. Untouched. It blows my mind. It reminds me of…"

Suddenly the guitarist trailed off.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing. Hey, we are almost there."

"I LIKED WHEN HE SANG. ALL OF IT!" Sakura screamed.

"Me too… Naruto is… the best!" Hinata squealed back.

They arrived at the five star hotel, made it through the impressive security, and joined Kankuro and Ino at the reception room filled with not only those from Sabakuno Production Company, but other agents and CEOs as well. Kankuro was wearing the same tuxedo the band was still wearing, apparently the uniform of the hosts for the night, courtesy of his little brother.

While the band joked around with Kankuro, Sasuke, Sakura, and Hinata asked Ino at once, "Where's the dobe/Nat-chan/Naruto-sama?"

"Bathroom. Changing."

Sasuke turned on his heels, and Ino grabbed his arm.

"Whoa, girl, you can't go in the boy's changing room! Don't worry so much about the idiot. Gaara's with him."

Obviously Ino knew nothing. All the more reason for Sasuke to worry.

"Was Naruto-sama… okay… what with… the rude fans… at the concert…" Hinata asked.

Ino said, "Of course he wasn't okay. I mean, those people went totally overboard. But he was better than I thought he'd be. He kinda laughed it off and said, 'I'm glad he wasn't backstage after all.'"

Sakura blinked. "Backstage?"

Ino shrugged. "Gaara was backstage, so maybe he's talking about one of their mutual friends?"

The pink haired girl said in amusement, "Nat-chan's really close to Gaara-kun, huh? They're almost connected at the hip; it's like a walking poster."

Ino laughed. "Well, they are brothers after all; Naruto is close to Kankuro too."

Hinata darted a look at a frowning Sasuke, before venturing quietly, "Naruto-sama… likes Gaara-san…?"

"What's not to like about Gaara?" Ino joked, "Although, his older brother is kinda growing on me…"

"But does… Naruto-sama… like Gaara-san in… a special way…?" Hinata asked again.

Before Ino could answer, she was interrupted by murmured acclamations going on throughout the room. Naruto had appeared out of the changing room, wearing the exact same tuxedo. But on the blond, like everything else, the formal suit seemed dangerously erotic. Iruka had done his job well; the tailoring was perfect. The slender body, the long legs in slick black, the bright hair contrasting with the dark suit, and the blue eyes being drawn out by the blue rose in his breast pocket… not to mention that the foxiest red haired man in all of Japan hung on Naruto's arm, wearing the identical tuxedo with a pink rose. The two boys made their way through the room, giving the awed VIPs salutary nods, and joined the girls.

"Ino sempai!" Naruto scampered over. He really did seem alright to Sasuke, save the fact he was already a little drunk…

"Do you need a rose datteba…" Naruto trailed off when he noticed the slightly smooshed white rose pinned over his ex-girlfriend's heart. When Ino flashed him a sheepish smile, he rolled his eyes and pouted outright. "And here I was going to be all romantic and shit… lame! Lamelamelame…"

Ino cut Sakura and Hinata off before there could be a blood bath, saying, "I stole this from Sasuke-chan. So give your rose to her."

Only at that, for the first time in weeks since Naruto had stumbled home a dumped mess, the dobe seemed to register the Uchiha. He looked long and hard at Sasuke's face and his lower lip started trembling a little. Then Naruto looked away, his look fleeting from Ino to Gaara to his own shoes. Suddenly, Naruto plucked the blue rose from his pocket and the pink rose from Gaara's and handed them over to Hinata and Sakura.

"The blue one is for you, Hinata sempai, because your hair is kinda bluish and the pink one is for you, Sakura sempai, because your hair is pink." The blond laughed uproariously and when both girls whispered a shy 'thank you', Naruto grabbed Gaara's arm and went off to join his band without a backwards glance.

"Wow, is he five? When he seems so grownup on stage…" Ino whistled under her breath, turning to a twitching Sasuke. "Hey, did you do something to that dumbass? I've never seen someone avoid another person so obviously before."

"I'll go ask him," the Uchiha said through gritted teeth, leaving Hinata and Sakura squealing over their ill begotten roses and Ino sighing in resignation.

Naruto was indeed avoiding Sasuke, and infuriatingly, as Ino had said, obviously at that. When Sasuke approached, the usuratonkachi didn't walk away. He ran like he was being chased by hounds. And when he couldn't run, Gaara was always in the Uchiha's way, so the raven-haired boy couldn't talk face-to-face with the blond. And when it came time to sit down for dinner, Sasuke felt as though he had won at life because the seating cards read Shikamaru-Sasuke-Naruto-Gaara, until he noticed Naruto and Gaara pawning a Rolex watch to a waiter, who then brought a little table out and bravely set it up on the other side of the room, for the two stepbrothers to sit at for dinner – despite Temari's protests (both vocal and physical, she was also wearing a matching men's tuxedo so she seemed all the more impressive).

So when Naruto snuck off to the bathroom while Temari was talking up a storm lecturing Gaara, Sasuke moved faster than he had ever in his entire seventeen years of life. Which was pretty darn fast. He pounced on Naruto exiting the men's bathroom, pushed him back inside, and locked themselves into a toilet stall before anyone saw a raven-haired girl in a black evening dress manhandling a blond boy in a black tuxedo.

"Alright, dobe, that's it," the Uchiha hissed in unadulterated fury, his now red eyes meeting the surprised blue ones. "I get that you love a different guy, but why are you avoiding me and not Gaara? Explain."

Naruto turned bright crimson, all the way to his ears, and made a squirming gesture that Sasuke recognized because he was also a boy despite the fucking dress. Uzumaki Naruto was sporting a major hard on that was becoming very obvious through his tuxedo pants. The Uchiha stared down at it. Naruto stared down at it too.

"It's not what you think, Sasuke sempai," the dobe protested, his blush nearly blotching purple. "This is… I'm coming off my concert high so I get excited easily and… I haven't been having sex lately and… and you really look like someone so I… it's not what you think! It's not what you think!"

"What do you think I think, dobe?" Sasuke snapped because, despite the pure WTF nature of this WTF situation, his own body was starting to notice that the two boys were cramped close together in a stall with Naruto's erection pressed against his thigh.

"You think I like you but I don't. I really don't," Naruto said, his voice all high and squeaky.

"Hearing it once is more than enough, usuratonkachi." Sasuke glowered. "So what are you going to do about… your problem?"

"I… I am going to recite pi!" Naruto exclaimed. "Three point… point… what comes after three?"

"That is the worst plan I've ever heard," the Uchiha said (although he himself had already started to recite pi in his mind and had gotten to the thirty-fourth digit) and then, remembering his conversation with Hinata, Sasuke tried to reign in his anger and whisper if not gently as neutrally as possible, "Tell me who you like, dobe. Ino's brother? Does she have one? A gay Shikamaru fan? I don't fucking care at this point since I'm used to your bullshit. Who is it?"

The Dead Last vocal looked up at Sasuke and, this time, the longing was clear in his eyes. "I like…"

A pounding on the stall door cut him off. Temari hollered, "You think you can hide from me in the boy's bathroom? No chance, Uzumaki, get your ass out here and sing for the guests. That's part of the program; I told you about it already!"

Naruto sulked, shouting back, "I'm taking a dump!"

"You are an idol! You're not allowed to say things like that, you moron!" Temari roared. "As far as your fans are concerned, you never need to poop!"

"I'm not singing for 'em. At a live house, sure, but why do I have to sing for some suits like a windup monkey?" the blond demanded.

"Because these suits make the music industry run so GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF THE TOILET UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

When her adopted brother retreated to sullen silence, the blonde queen screamed, "I'm going to look over the stall walls like a stalker! Serious!"

Naruto panicked. "Okay, okay, okay!"

Temari snorted in satisfaction. "Coming?"

"Alright, just give me about five minutes. I'll join you in the dining room," Naruto pleaded.

"You have one minute and I'm coming back in here, got that? With a camera that has zoom," Temari said, almost affectionately.

"If you use zoom, my Johnson won't fit on one frame," Naruto jeered.

Temari laughed. "You wish."

"Fine, fine." Her stepbrother groaned. "I can choose any song to sing, right? Even if it's not Dead Last stuff."

"As long as it's not 'It's A Small World After All,'" Temari said, before leaving.

Naruto sighed in relief at her departure and opened the door of the stall. Sasuke pushed it shut again.

"Sasuke sempai!" the blond whined. "You heard her, she's really gonna peek… Tem doesn't bluff!"

"Who is it?" the Uchiha said through clenched teeth. "I'll let you go when I know."

"What do you care?" was the defiant answer. And before the dobe could stop himself, he'd blurted, "Go back to Shikamaru."

"You're the one who cheated on me first," Sasuke snapped.

"Cheated? How can I cheat on someone who I'm not dating?"

"Then why are you getting worked up about Shikamaru when all we did was arrive here on the same van?" the raven-haired boy said.

"I'm not getting worked up about Shikamaru," Naruto shrilled, "I'm pissed off because you're holding the door shut, sempai!"

"What's your problem, dobe? Why are you like this to me?"

"Because you are the last person in Konoha I want to date!" Naruto said, shoving the bigger boy off. "I like you and I want you, so I am afraid I'm actually going to fall for you when you like me for all the reasons I hate myself for, just like everybody else. You really turned out to be just like everybody else, so I don't even know why I feel this way. But luckily, before that could happen, I found someone to love who sees my weaknesses clearly and still helps me with my music. I was rejected, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up. So leave me alone, Sasuke sempai!"

With that, Naruto opened and closed the stall door with a bang, leaving the Uchiha alone and finally able to answer the many questions Hinata had asked him. What would Sasuke do for Naruto? Absolutely nothing. Why should Naruto like Sasuke? No reason at all. So why should Sasuke be special? Because everything the dobe did reminded Sasuke of himself and the Uchiha could understand Naruto's pain better than anyone, from having parents who made him feel overshadowed to simply wanting to pretend to be someone else, anyone else.

Sasuke could understand Naruto, but he hadn't. He hadn't tried from the very beginning, not since he'd first met the dobe at the lightless train station. It had been dark there, so the Uchiha had pushed the usuratonkachi away and forgotten the encounter. When they had met again in high school, the blond had been in disguise so Sasuke had been outright mean to him. Only when the raven-haired boy had laid eyes on the beautiful dobe had he listened at all and fallen in love with him. So how was he different from those bitches at the live house concert then?

Worst of all, Naruto wasn't giving him time to try anymore. With the slamming of the stall door, Sasuke felt the end of their relationship. His first love was ending. Naruto was leaving.

When the raven-haired boy finally entered the dining room hall, he heard Naruto singing about broken dreams, cursed blood, and red eyes. Sasuke paused in the doorway, wondering whether or not he should even bother to enter, when he was shouldered by a man entering the hall. One he recognized immediately.

Author's Note: Soon, the shit will hit the fan. For those of you who worry, it'll get worse before it gets better, but it'll get better. Next chapter will be what you all are waiting for so stick around for the crack and the drama and, dare I say it?, the SasuNaru.

In the meanwhile, cheer/lobby/curse your favorite band member or groupie or cross dresser and/or tell me to update now smiley/angry/crying face by leaving a review. Thank you.