Hello, guys! First I would like to thank you all for your reviews and kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I'm hoping this chapter makes you understand more about Rachel. Enjoy it!

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN – WILL YOU, QUINN?

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(Rachel's POV)

When Quinn told me she liked girls, it wasn't that big of a surprise for me. Even if I couldn't explain to her how exactly I knew it, I have known it for a long time. She is my best friend after all. The fact she liked me, was a completely different story. Maybe it was me being naïve or I just never thought she could like me this way, I don't know, I just know that this had never crossed my mind.

The day she sang me that song, my heart did something funny inside my chest. In the beginning I was confused, because why was she singing to me? And what about these strange questions, but when I finally recognized the song, all made sense.

We were watching TV in a lazy Sunday, and Quinn was complaining that we always watched the same movies. She said she wanted to watch something different for a change and when I was flipping through the channels I saw that this new Disney Musical were on. She didn't want to watch it at first, but I always had my way with her. (I guess now I understand why.)

The movie was somewhat silly and the songs kind of tasteless but we watched it anyway and when that exactly song played, even though I hated the gu'sy voice, I loved it. What? He talked about love through song, literally. So, when she sang it to me, it made sense. For me, she wasn't only telling her secret feelings; she was showing how she always paid attention. In that moment, when she finished singing, it didn't cross my mind instantly, but I get it now.

Knowing that she had those feelings from me since we were thirteen was crazy. Like, how could I not know? Quinn wasn't really subtle I came to realize it after. Well, she obviously hated Finn guts and I know we were getting distant because of him, but I didn't know what to do, because even with Finn being really conceived and kind of silly, I liked him. And I really wanted to have both, even knowing it would be complicated.

In the beginning I thought it would be best if I tried to make the distaste Quinn and Finn felt for each other go away. Maybe if they passed some time together in our family reunions, they could get along, but it didn't happen. What happened instead was that I had to keep seeing how sad Quinn was being. And even if she tried to deny it, it wasn't working, because I could have missed how she liked me in this different way, but I knew her, better than anyone.

When I started fighting with Finn about it, she realized what I was doing. I knew she wouldn't like it very much, but we're friends, it's one of my instincts to protect her feelings, even if it is from me. But when she asked me not to sugar coat reality for her, I understood how she had changed. Yeah, really changed. Because little Quinn always hided herself beside the beautiful stories she read and she never let anyone other than me or dads enter this little world she built to herself. And even if she seemed to be just like any teenagers, Quinn was always this dreamer, even bigger than me. And the way and what she told me that day, made me finally realize how serious this was getting under her skin.

And yeah, what she said about suffering and coming much stronger than before was true, and it made me really proud of her, but made me scared as well. But I let it slide and tried to somewhat reconnect out old friendship. The Monica thing was a way to make me try to understand how to act, because I hated the way we were. Even if in the outside it was all looking great, I missed the old us, how easy it was. And maybe, just maybe, if I could learn how to be a friend and not worry to be her heart breaker at the same time, it would be easier. But then I asked her why she loved me. And she answered. She answered with the beautiful things anyone had ever told me. She made me rethink our entire relationship after when I was by myself in my room.

All I could think was "wow, I never thought I made Quinn feel this way". And maybe in some point of all this thinking, I realized she made me feel things as well, things I couldn't name or describe. And I remembered the day she sang to me again. How she had crawled in daddy's arms and asked him to hold her. The feelings I had in me that time, how I wanted nothing more just to be the one hugging her. And maybe it was more than friendship, more than platonic feelings, because that girl was in every little moment of my life. She treated my fathers as they were hers. She always knew how to make me smile or how to calm me down. She was in my first singing competition, she was in my first play in the community theater, she was there in my first and only breakdown about my mom. She was simply always there. And I realized I would always want her to be.

When I told her I was confused and said that it would perhaps be just because I never imagined someone could feel those things for me, I was being sincere. In that moment, I was going crazy. All seemed to be out of place. And even though I had admitted to myself I could have other type of feelings towards Quinn, what if I didn't?

I couldn't deny the way I felt when I saw Finn, or when he kissed me. It really made my stomach turn around and my heart beat faster. Maybe I would never feel as comfortable with him as I felt with Quinn, but maybe it was just too early to tell. I couldn't confuse Quinn and ending hurt her even more. So perhaps she could move on from me and, I don't know, someday we could discuss other feelings again; when we were older and certain of things, maybe.

So when I told Finn about Quinn's feelings, I was just trying to make him understand why I was acting weird about some things and I really thought it would be easier this way to make we find a middle ground between the before and the now, but I was wrong. Finn wasn't mature enough or respectful enough. He just had to go there and make me regret choosing him, choosing the butterflies in my stomach, which he obviously didn't deserve. And Quinn? Quinn was completely right in being mad at me; I was supposed to talk to her first. But then this bad situation showed me how scared I could feel with only the possibility of losing Quinn and things changed again.

When she forgave me, I never felt more relieved. That was the moment I said in my head "what the hell? That is the most perfect person I have ever met in front of me and she loves me. She freaking loves me. And all I'm doing is make her life shitty. Am I crazy? Fuck everything!"

So I broke up with Finn and made a list: WHY SHOULD I GIVE QUINN AND ME A CHANCE?

And it was easier than I thought to complete it. So when I kissed her, it wasn't out of nowhere, it wasn't to mess up her head. It was because Quinn and I could work. And if we did, I was certain it would be the best thing that had ever happened to me.

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"Hey, Quinn, I have something for you."

"For me?" She asked tilting her head in a cute way.

"Yeah." I said. "But could you wait to read it when you're at home?"

Her brow furrowed as she scratched her head in confusion.

"Yeah, ok, I guess." She answered. I beamed and kissed her in the cheek.

"Ok. See you around." I slipped the envelope in her hands and walked down the hallway, leaving my blonde best friend (and hopefully something more soon) behind me, looking confused.

She didn't know but she had in her hands my list. The one it took only five minutes to complete, the list who made easier to accept that yes, I wanted Quinn Fabray as more than a friend.

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WHY SHOULD I GIVE QUINN AND ME A CHANCE?

- She gets me.

- No one has ever made me feel as safer as she does.

- She knows me like nobody else.

- She is beautiful.

- And kind.

- Oh, and she smells really good.

- She understands my crazy.

- She never asked me to change.

- She learned how to cook vegan meals just for me.

- She listens.

- She is dork in a cute way.

- Her clothes look good in me.

- And in her as well.

- I fit in her arms.

- She told grampa she was the one who broke his collection car when it was really me.

- She is selfless.

- She always defends me from Santana or anyone.

- She would never hurt me intentionally.

- We balance each other.

- Daddy and Dad love her.

- Dad R loves me as well.

- I love her eyes.

- She is my best friend.

- I couldn't imagine my life without her.

- Our voices fit perfectly.

- She believes in me and respects my dreams.

- I love how she always knows something about everything.

- She always let me pick the movies. (Haha)

- Since I met her, I never felt alone.

- I could love her like she loves me.

- She loves me.

Give me a chance to love you back, will you?

Love,

Rach *

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