This is the place he picks?
Alex is sitting on the roof of one of the many tiny houses built into the hills. This thing is so small her shoes are still in the grass, which is mostly all there is to look at. Well, aside from a tiny lake, the occasional tree or sheep, and a blue sign that reads "Hobbiton: Movie Set." She doesn't understand why this is such a big deal.
Jesse, on the other hand, is prancing around so excitedly he's scaring off the wildlife. It's actually pretty funny watching him run around this sunny field with a beanie, jeans, and a huge hoodie on. She's wearing jeans too, paired with a thin, violet sweater because she wasn't sure what kind of weather to expect in a place like New Zealand during their winter, which is New York's summer. The air is a little chilly, but it feels pretty much like it does back home during her morning route to school in the spring.
Jesse sprints past and climbs the closest tree, grinning down at her. "Yo, they made Lord of the Rings here!"
She softly knocks her heels against the wall. "Yeah, I think you told me like a million times already."
That's almost not an exaggeration because he's dragged her around the entire country, stopping to gawk at empty caves and some hills and who knows how many forests where like so-and-so had to hide from some freaky crows or whatever. At each place, he's reminded her that, surprise, one of the three movies about weird guys who are way too short and hairy was filmed there.
Jesse hangs from a branch that's about five feet up, swaying like a monkey. "If you tell me you've never seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies, I might have to like reconsider our relationship."
"Oh, I've seen all of them, several times, because Justin watches and re-watches the trilogy every November as some sort of nerd Thanksgiving ritual with Zeke. He also tried to read The Hobbit to me when we were little until I magically sealed his mouth shut. I did the same thing to that Teddy Ruxpin my grandmother gave me for Christmas so I'd read more. But, like, who wants to hear some creepy-ass, dead-eyed bear read to you?" She shudders. "As far as the movies go, I just think they're okay, I guess. I mean the way they represent elves is totally off, and they walk around a crap-ton, and it's kind of mega-boring."
Jesse hops to the ground, and points to one of the bigger, stupid fake houses. "So you're saying if you saw fucking Frodo Baggins walk out of there, you wouldn't be psyched as shit?"
"Probably not, dude," she says. She cracks her neck. "Have we been here long enough or do you need a minute to like hump that fence over there?"
"Fuck you." He flips her off, kicking a rock by his foot. "But, yeah, I guess we can go somewhere else, it being your turn and all."
Jesse drifts close enough for Alex to grab a handful of his hoodie. Physical contact is like a necessity even for transport spells that don't require wands. He's eying her patiently. She'd told her parents she was staying at Harper's for a while, so they don't need to be back anytime soon.
She touches his shoulder. "You know what? I can do this junk like anytime. You can pick the next one. Heck, go to town and pick all of them if you want."
He smiles.
And, the rest of the afternoon is a Jesse-approved whirlwind. They get pelted with weird melons by gnarly-looking monkeys in a humid safari local she wasn't sure was on what continent other than it having painted people who looked like they walked right out of a National Geographic magazine. They mill around with some tourists in front of one of the Egyptian pyramids. They even for real spit on French people from the Eiffel Tower. The last one is a quick stop because apparently that kind of thing is frowned upon no matter what language you speak…or yell.
With a quick currency-change spell, they buy massive amounts of pasta in a cheap place near Venice, and wash it down with mint chocolate chip gelato in some sort of town square by a bunch of old though actually pretty awesome-looking buildings. There's a ton of tan dudes yelling "che bella" at her, and Jesse's doing such a crappy job at not seeming jealous that she blips them into a darkened antique shop with its windows open for a delectable, frenzied, humid quickie against a fancy marble table. Later in the afternoon, they watch an erupting volcano on one of the islands of Hawaii, but they take a pass on the surfing.
She's never jumped from so many places in a row before, and she hopes it won't make Jesse sick. If anything is going to do it, she's betting it's the temperature plunge from a luau paradise to a blizzard in the middle of nowhere. He'd said he didn't want any of that city Alaska shit, but like Alaska, Alaska, like Discovery Planet Alaska. So, here they are with snow in all directions, mountains in the distance, polar bears a little closer, though still far enough to look more like cute Coca-Cola mascots and not man-hungry beasts.
He's got his arms wrapped around himself, turning like a scary shade of blue.
"Stop all the racket, he'll wear a jacket," she says.
Her neon orange winter coat with the white faux fur-lined hood appears on him because it's the biggest thing she owns, and it actually fits him. It makes him look like a Creamsicle, but it's better than freezing to death.
She repeats the spell as her somewhat thinner pink and black checkered bomber jacket pops on her, and she zips the hood up to her chin, comfortable now.
"Yo, I feel kind of honored or some shit." Jesse somehow manages to smile with his jaw chattering like he's got a mouthful of plastic novelty teeth. "You gave me a jacket first. It's like those moms on airplanes that put an oxygen mask on their baby before they snap one on their own face. Thanks."
She shrugs, eying two cubs wrestling each other near the ice. His shoulder bumps into hers, and his face is still shivering when he bends down for a kiss.
He jerks back with his eyes so wide she thinks they might literally freeze like that. Then he dips down, fisting the front of her jacket, snaking his tongue in her mouth. She's just getting a rhythm down when he pulls away, looking even more freaked out.
"Shit, you're like ten times warmer than me," he says. "Like the inside of your mouth feels like I'm making out with a cup of coffee. What the hell?"
She places both of her hands on the sides of his face, and his eyes flutter, lips hanging open, because it probably feels pretty great. "Wizards have naturally higher body temps. It's why I was like so freaking hot at the beach. It's a blessing and a curse. I'm never that annoying chick who complains about not having a sweater in the movie theatre, but I sweat like a fat dude playing basketball in gym class."
She slides a palm down his Adam's apple, feeling the vibration of his laugh against her fingertips.
"Think you want to pick someplace else before you're a Han Solo-pop?" she says.
The reference isn't lost on him, and he laughs again. "I'm too cold to think of anything. You go."
Alex recites the spell, transporting them into an alley with a brick road. Their coats are gone. It's dark out, city lights glowing, huge crowds walking past.
Jesse gives her a funny look. "Where the hell are we? It smells dank as shit."
She grabs him by the wrist and pulls him out on the sidewalk. A building across the street is covered in drawings of mostly naked chicks and unpeeled bananas. Down a few blocks is what seems to be the start of a canal. She motions for him to bend down before she jumps on his back, slings her arms across his chest, because a piggyback ride sounds a lot more fun than dumb walking.
She leans into his ear. "I'm about to make all your stoner dreams come true. We're in Amsterdam, bitch."
Jesse does a Rocky-like fist-pump. "Yeah!"
Alex gently kicks the front of his thigh and they're off to explore the red light district. This includes a stop at a coffee shop with a huge Bob Marley decal on the front glass where they share a cup of fancy hot chocolate and a blunt. They buy the pot there because it's like bringing your instant coffee into Starbucks if they just lit up their own stuff. She goes to use the bathroom, and when she gets back, Jesse's outside talking to a cluster of fratty-looking guys in North Face windbreakers. Or it at least looks that way. She's more stoned than she's ever been ever.
She watches a second, and they walk behind a corner. So, she sits back down and licks the rest of the whip cream from the mug. All those trippy Bob Marley posters are starting to get trippier. She considers buying food, but she's too scared to accidentally order something with hash in it, and then like puke or die or something.
When Alex sees Jesse again, he's almost strutting, hands deep in his pants pockets. He gestures with his chin for her to come out, and she feels weirdly airy and wobbly when she walks.
He nudges her with an elbow. "Yo, I just scammed a couple of American dumbasses into buying the rest of our stash for like four times the price. We're rolling in the cheddar. Let's party."
"Cheddar," she says, snickering. "Rolling in the cheddar makes us sound like…like we're food people."
She points at him. "People made from food, I mean. Not ones who just like food. Don't get confused. Ooh, we should make pigs in the blanket!"
Wiping off something tacky-feeling on her forehead, she starts laughing. It's for no reason at all, and she's vaguely regretting toking as much as she did when he went to the bathroom, and ordered them their drink, and stepped out for a cigarette.
Jesse seems to study her face, claps her on the arm. "Oh my god, you're so baked. I told you to like slow the hell down. The shit here's like twice as strong. You feeling nauseous or anything?"
Right now all she wants to know is why he isn't just as messed up as she feels. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he started smoking weed when she was still in like first grade or something. She's had sex with a dude who doesn't need to use a fake to buy alcohol and can like rent a car and vote for the president. He's kind of old when she thinks about it.
"Huh," she says. "I wonder what you looked like when you were my age."
His image is sort of grainy, though she can tell his eyebrows are raised. The next leg of the night whips by like constant buzzing static on a TV screen, memories jumbled around like the scrambled Cinemax she used to try to watch in middle school: eating something flaky with a lot of cinnamon in it, drinking a licorice-kind-of-thing from his glass, and also maybe staring at two mice getting it on by a dumpster.
They have a conversation outside of a casino-like building with whirling lights chasing each other like little Pac-Mans that decided to screw the rules of the game and go ham on the ghosts, like attacking on all fronts and stuff. She thinks they might be doing a bit or whatever, because he keeps saying "are you sure" and she knows to respond with "yeah, yeah, yeah." Then they do it all over again, and she giggles.
She has to show her completely-real-and-not-a-picture-of-the-weather-lady ID to a guy wearing sunglasses at night like that song her dad listens to. The next thing she knows, she gradually sobering up, watching chicks take their clothes off. She's in a strip club.
Some sort of Euro-pop is playing, and it's pretty dim everywhere except for the stage. There's a table in front of her with an untouched thing of water. She realizes Jesse's looking at her, smirking.
"Totally your idea," he says. He hunches over closer to her, and nods to a brunette very naked with a whip in her hand. And, wow, she's actually using it on another girl who is obscenely bent over a railing. "This doing anything for you?"
Alex feels like she should say yes, you know, roll with it. She takes a sip of her water, and tries not to grimace too much. "Yeah…so good…it's hot."
He grins so hard she thinks his face might break apart into multi-colored Tetris blocks, which she basically pictures. It's super weird.
"Wow, you suck at lying when you're stoned."
She glances back to the stage where the brunette is gagging the other chick. There are only a few clothed girls here other than herself, and she briefly wonders just how many of those electrical heart monitor things from CPR class Harper would need if Alex told her any of this stuff.
"You ever like ever thought about doing this…kind of stuff?"
Alex frowns with a mouthful of water. "You mean stripping?"
"Nah," he says. He does a vague gesture with his arm that to her means literally nothing. "Like what they're doing."
Miss Brunette is currently like vacuum-swallowing the blonde's entire ear into her mouth with her hands clamped around the blonde's throat like she's trying to squeeze candy out of the chick.
"I've never really been into girls, like not curious at all. I mean, don't get me wrong, I can like appreciate a nice rack. Who doesn't? But, downstairs is all…." She makes a gagging sound. "Not for me. There's just something about a dick that's like way better in every way. It's, you know, all out in the open, no mystery bullshit, like a friend that says "hi" the second they see you on the train even if they're listening to their iPod. It's just there to touch and it's all warm and…."
"Shit, I think I got it," he says. He's laughing pretty hard. "You get the same look in your eye when you talk about dicks that you got when like you went on a fifteen minute rant about how much you love pigs in the blanket."
She leans into him with the delicate pressure of her lips on his neck, trailing down a series of little kisses. "Sounds like someone wants a blowjob."
Alex is already two-knuckles deep up his jacket when his breathe catches and he mumbles out a "thanks, we're good, yo" to who Alex realizes is a bored-looking topless server in leather bottoms standing next to them. She walks away with a nod, and Alex slugs back more of her water because there's gotta be something in the fog-machine-air here that's drying her throat out.
"You know, I wasn't talking about girl-on-girl before. I meant, like, have you ever thought about getting into like hardcore shit with a guy…or like me," he says.
The blonde now has a series of chains coiled around different parts of her body while the other chick pulls at the restraints.
"I'm gonna be honest and just say this junk's too dark for me, like way too dark. Why? Are you, do you want to…."
Jesse shakes his head with a reassuring smile. "Yo, like I said before, it was your idea to come in here."
He takes his beanie off and crams in into his pocket. His hair is all static-y and messy, and it's too much. She has to play with it.
He laughs. "You're a pretty cool girlfriend for letting me in here, and like being in here too and shit."
She lets her arm drop. "Did you just call me your girlfriend?"
He brings his tongue to the back of his mouth like he's got something stuck in his molars, nodding, staring off somewhere. "Yeah, I mean, I guess. I know I'm not gonna be here for like a long time, but uh…."
He ruffles the front of his hair with the sleeve of his jacket. "I don't know why I said that. Sorry, didn't mean to like freak you out."
"Chill out, bro." Alex tugs at the drawstring on his hood. "If you want to call me your girlfriend, please do it as often as possible. It's like a bomb of happiness exploded inside my body."
Jesse shoots her a grin, and they're quiet for a while.
He lightly fingers her wrist of the hand she has resting on the table. "Yo, you don't give yourself enough credit or whatever when it comes to magic shit. Like you did some pretty dope spells today, and you didn't get any of them wrong."
"Yeah, well, spells are basically wizard training wheels. Hand magic is really where like the work comes in or whatever. I maybe, kind of accidentally read something about it in one of Justin's boring wizard periodicals, and it made me feel like I was even more behind in the wizard competition than I already thought, like insanely behind."
"I know you probably don't want to hear this shit from me, but like maybe you should study or practice more." He appears to struggle over what he wants to say. "You know, like…."
"Apply myself?" she says.
He rolls his eyes. "Shit, I thought I'd die before I started giving advice from Mr. White."
A sharp smack echoes over the music, and Alex sees the girls have switched places with one who used to have the gag ball and chains getting the brunette pretty good with a cat of nine tails.
"What do you want to do now?" Jesse fiddles with her fingers.
She knows it's cheesy, but he kind of walked into it. "You."
"Where?" He rests his chin on his hand with an amused expression.
"We have money now. Let's have hotel sex."
Jesse nods. "I can dig it. Let's get out of here."
They end up somewhere named something that has too few vowels for Alex to even think about pronouncing. It's pricey, and their room looks like very awesome: bizarre graphics of tongues on the wall, all-white furniture, and a gigantic window framed in constantly changing fluorescent colors. In the middle of everything is a huge bed with a boxy, futuristic canopy like they're inside a spaceship if it was from the movie Barbarella. She takes a painfully long time peeling off his clothes, tells him to lie flat on his back before riding him, languid and trance-like under a glimmering of neon pink lights, focusing on all the throaty, husky sounds he makes underneath her.
Several rounds later, they're sharing a patio chair on the balcony still mostly naked aside from the boxers he's got on and she's wearing his dollar sign shirt. It's about two in the morning, and the city's still shouting and running, with bars and clubs and rooms spread out in front of them like a lit-up Battleship board.
Jesse sucks on his cigarette, chuckling. "Badger is gonna flip the fuck out when I tell him I went to Amsterdam. He's wanted to move here since like seventh grade."
It painfully reminds her of the crap Justin told her on the phone, because he'll never tell Badger any of this stuff. He won't know it himself. But, now doesn't feel like the time to say any of this heavy news out loud.
Instead, she watches a cab pass, a fake half-smile on her face. "Totally," she says.