Chapter Thirteen of Bleed the Dream

Fallen Goodbyes

Gaara's POV

Nauto hadn't said another word to me since I had walked out. He didn't say anything to me when he left..

I felt dead inside..

My point for being alive was gone. There was no purpose in life anymore.

People at school didn't understand.. Most were bothered about if for like a week.. Then they got over it.. Not understanding why I was still so sad..

Sasuke started to question me.. He suspected that I knew something that he didn't..

He was right.

I knew that he didn't just leave for a while.. I knew that he didn't plan on coming back.. I knew that it was really over.. And he didn't seem to care at all. Maybe I really was nothing to him..

Then he called.

"Gaara? It's Iruka"

Surprised I asked, "His uncle killed him...?"

"So you do know.. But no.. He's alive.. And his uncle hasn't bothered him since he got there.. But that's not what I was calling about.."

"What do you want then.."

He hesitated at the bitterness in my voice.

"In about a week, we are going to go get Naruto and bring him here for the weekend. You want to come with us?"

"No."

There was another pause, his shock was obvious.

"Why the hell not, Gaara?"

"I don't see a point in seeing someone like him. He's a liar."

"Gaara.. Naruto didn't mean what he said.. You should know that.."

I nodded my heard, forgetting that he couldn't see.. I felt the tears roll down my cheek.

"He wanted to cut off all ties... Who am I to ruin his oh so great plan?"

"You're his best friend. We'll pick you up next satruday."

With that he hung up the phone. I smiled sadly. Of course I saw behind Naruto's lie.. I'm his best friend for a reason.. But still.. He never said sorry.. He never told me he was just kidding.. He didn't admit that he was just scared.. He never told me goodbye..

I rolled over on my bed, "Gaara... You okay?"

I looked at Temari, "Next weekend I'm visiting naruto."

She looked at me, "You sure?"

"Irukas not really giving me a choice..."

She smiled, "Maybe it will be good..."

"We'll see.."

She smiled and left. I sighed, only one more week. And then I would see him again.. Then I would get to see my best friend again.. Why was I so scared?

Following Saturday

"So where does he live anyway?"

"Some god foresaken place to the south.."

"Oh." I turned and looked out the window, "Does he know I'm coming?"

"No... But you're the one who's going to go to the door and get him. Taking into consideration our last conversation, I find it safe to assume that you guys need a little talk..."

I felt angry. "Great. Thanks Iruka."

"You could have called him and told him."

I looked out the window, feeling to angry and lost to say anything.

After what felt like days I turned forward, "About how much longer Iruka?"

Kakashi turned to me, "Only another half hour. But we're going to go and get gas.. So we don't have to stop on the way back.. Plus, I think Naruto would go for a Monster.."

I smiled, "He has enough enthusiam without throwing energy drinks at him."

"I don't know.. Narutos family effects him... When I talk to him, he sounds depressive.. That's why I want you to be the first person he sees.. You mean alot to him..."

I nodded my head, taking note of Irukas sad voice..

"So you only get to see him once a month?"

"Yes. That was actually harder than you'd think. Judge was being a prick.."

I smiled, "Most judges are."

Iruka busted out laughing, "Watch yourself there kid. You forget, Kakashi is a police officer. He'd pwn you in a duel."

I smiled, "Yeah yeah. Get your boyfriend to back you up. I see how you lawyers are. All talk."

They turned into a gas station, humour written on their faces.

"You want something Kakashi?"

"Nah, gonna use the bathroom though.." He shuddered.

I smiled. "I'll come Iruka."

So we left to go into the store and watched as Kakashi filled up the car.

I looked at the energy drinks. There were SO many...

I spotted the monsters...

"Which one does Naruto like?!"

Iruka laughed, "Uh.. Get the low carb one. Blue. He likes it best.. Not sure why.."

I smiled and grabbed two of them, I went to the counter and payed. Iruka got some chips and followed suit. He paid for the gas and we made out way to the car. The place was actually pretty busy.. Kinda chaotic.. I frowned.

"Took you guys long enough!"

I turned and smiled at Kakashi, "Come on. We finished just as soon as you did!"

"Yeah, and I pumped gas, and then went to the bathroom.. You guys went in to buy a bag of chips!"

I smiled, "Place was busy."

He shrugged and unlocked the car. I smiled and climbed in back. I put the Monsters on the ground. The car was kinda cold.

I zipped up my jacket and fastened my seatbelt..

Iruka started the car and we headed off to the highway. I was kinda excited.

Only half an hour to go..

As we hit the main highway, the car gave an unsteady jerk. I froze.

Kakashi laughed, "You swerve to miss pot holes Iruka. Look at what you did to Gaara!"

Iruka looked back at me and laughed. I smiled and shrugged it off.

They were something else..

Though, the whole time.. I was still kinda shaken.. This was a new highway. There were no potholes..

I tried not to dwell on it.. I looked at the clock, only twenty-seven more minutes.

I frowned, these last few weeks had gone by fast... Yet these thirty minutes seems as though they were taking a lifetime.. Every second felt like a day. I fidgeted nervously.

Kakashi smiled, "You know Gaara, you should lighten up."

"What do you mean?"

"You look like your walking towards-"

The car lerched again.

Kakashi frowned. "Iruka?"

He looked in the mirror nervously. "I don't know.. Theres nothing wrong with the road.. Maybe it's something with-"

Suddenly the car jerked again. It titled sharply to the left. There was a grinding sound..

Then another jerk. The car lerched forward.

The front left tire.

Suddenly the car completely fell to the left. The sound was defeaning.

Everything happened in slowmotion.

The ground was pressed against the window.

Kakashi was yelling.

Iruka was bleeding.

Then we heard a horn.

I froze.

Breaks squealed.

A huge semi slammed into the side of our car.

I remember being jerked to the other side. I remember the skidding sound again.

I remember being engulfed by red flames.

I remember the silence that welcomed death.

Gaara POV

I sat in the chair beside his bed. I couldn't fight the tears anymore.

Everything was so fucked up. Nothing was as it should have been.

I hated it. I looked at the stitches marking their way up his wrists.. I looked at the bloody switchblade on the table beside him.. It was the one he got for me.. The one he took back when I said I'd die if he died.. The one he used to engrave my initials on his wrists.. The one he tried to kill himself when he thought I was dead.

I took the switchbalde and held it in my hands.. I smiled sadly.

"You're a fucking idiot Naruto."

Tears fell down. My hands were shaking.

"You should think these things through. I hate it. I hate seeing you like this.. You could have really died.. You know I'm not good without you..."

I held his hand in my own, I traced my fingers over my initials. They shone white against his tan skin. I frowned. They would be there forever.. Just like the one climbing up his other wrists.. They would be a constant reminder of the pain he went through.. All because of me..

"I just want you to be happy Naruto.. But look at you.. You're killing yourself.. I can't watch you fall apart. Please, leave him. Come with me.."

His face remained blank. I smiled and gripped his hand. The one where my initials were engraved. I smiled and turned my wrists so it faced upward. I brought down the blade to it. Taking my time, I engraved his initials.

Blood dripped to the floor. Mingled with tears that fell from my eyes.

The pain searing through my wrists was nothing compared to the pain that tore at my heart.

I smiled.. Watched as the blood poured. I felt myself fall into an involuntary comfort. I shut the blade and put it back where I found it.

Naruto POV

I squinted as the light poured in through the windows. I frowned and tried to roll over.

I felt a searing pain in my arm. I gasped in surprise.

"Stitches."

I jerked upward and looked at my visitor, tears rolled down my cheek.

"Iruka.."

"You're a fucking idiot." His eyes swelled up.

"I thought you were dead.. The news.. my uncle..."

"So you run off and kill yourself?!"

"I'm not dead.."

"You could have been. You wanted to be. Why...?"

I shifted my eyes to the ground, I couldn't take the guilt that I felt when I looked at him.

"If you guys died.. there wouldn't be a point to anything anymore.. I live for you guys.. Theres no other reason to be alive.. I thought that was gone."

"Idiot. How did you know we were dead? You didn't..."

"The news said critical condition.."

"It's the news Naruto. All they knew was that a semi hit us.. That's all."

"A semi..."

"Yeah.. they breaked... so it wasn't full impact.. It wasn't all that bad.."

"The car caught fire.."

"Gaara pulled us out. I was hysterical.. Kakashi had passed out from blood loss. Only a minute after we got out.. The car exploded..."

"I thought you were dead.." I felt the tears fall down my cheek.. I didn't know what to say.. Just hours ago I thought my life was over.. Now I was confused.. Nothing was what it seemed..

I looked at him through tear filled eyes, "Please.. Don't leave me again.."

Iruka smiled, genuinely happy. "Alright.. Done deal.."

I looked at his questioningly, "That simple..?"

"Your ribs Naruto. What happened to them?"

My eyes widened.. "My uncle...but.. That's not good enough.. "

His eyes hardened, "The fuck it is. Just explain to the doctors when they ask.. I'll take care of the rest. You don't want me to leave right?"

I smiled, "yeah..."

"Alright.."

I smiled, "So how is Kakashi?"

Iruka frowned, "He's alright.. He has a gash on his shoulder though.. window broke.."

I nodded.. "And Gaara...?"

He looked at me, "He's fine... He's upset with you.."

I nodded, ".. Where is he?"

"Talking with Kakashi... He was in here earlier.."

I nodded. "Alright. So what now?"

"You have to stay here. Then you have to talk with a shrink, or else they won't permit that you leave.. You are a possible suicide."

I nodded my head, great. "Alright.."

"I'm going to go visit Kakahsi.. I'll send Gaara.. I think he wants to talk to you."

I nodded and watched as he walked out.

I smiled and tears fell from my face, they were alive.. Thank god.

I sat there for what felt like hours, waiting.

Finally, the door creaked open. I looked at him with wide eyes as he walked through the door.

His eyes were hard, his face pale. I felt myself shrink further into the cushions. I remebered our last conversation. I suddenly felt nervous. I just watched as he made way to my bed. He stood only inches away from me...

"Gaara?"

Smack!

My face jerked to the side, I felt the warm blood gather in my mouth. I turned my face back to him. Not angry at all. He was looking down, fists clenched.

"Gaara.."

He looked at me, his eyes filled with tears.

I felt my heart fall.. I grabbed his hand and pulled him so he sat on the edge of the bed. He looked down at the ground.. I smiled at him.

"How are you, Gaara?"

He didn't say anything.. I suddenly felt paranoid..

"Gaara..."

"I thought you were going to die.. When I first saw you.. You were so pale.. The blood loss.. It was crazy.. I thought you were going to die.. I didn't know what to do.. I was happy to be alive myself.. But when I saw you.. I realized that if you died.. then I might as well have died in the car crash... I was so scared Naruto.. Why did you do that..? Why did you leave me.."

"I thought you left me.. I thought you had died.. You were what kept me alive... Then the crash was on television.. The paramedic said a youth had died.. I no longer had anything to live for.."

He nodded his head.. Sad and drained from all the events..

"It was the driver of the semi who died.. He was eighteen.."

I felt my heart fall.

"Why do people die Gaara.. Why?"

"I don't have the answer.. Not to that..."

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes.

"Do you hate me, Gaara?"

"Do you want to me to Naruto...You seem to try hard to.. Lying.. Leaving.. Trying to kill yourself.. All the things you promised you wouldn't do... I don't know what you want from me.."

I flinched at the sadness in his voice.

I felt my eyes well up, "Your my best friend Gaara...I just wanted you to be happy.. that's all.."

"Then why the fuck did you leave.. Why didn't you atleast tell me bye.. you never even called me.."

I felt the tears fall from my eyes.

"You were sad when I told you.. It killed me.. The pain in your voice.. I thought I could fix it.."

"You could have... But not that way..."

"I know... I'm sorry.. I..."

"Naruto.. Forget it.. Don't worry about it.. It's over.."

I smiled, my hand subconsiously coming to my wrist... I looked over at the wall..

"Thank you Gaara..."

"For what...?"

"For being honest.. For being the person who kept me alive... without you.. I think my uncle would have finished me off long ago.. or maybe I would have... not sure..."

I watched his eyes fill with sadness, he smiled halfheartedly...

"Naruto... Don't say that..."

Sadly I smiled at him, waiting for the moment to come.. "Why...?"

"Cause.. you're putting your faith in someone you can't trust.. I'm not so great Naruto..."

"I can trust you.. sometimes you say things that aren't always true.. but for the most part.. you always come through in the end.. that's what I love about you..."

He looked at me.. eyes curious..

I put my head back onto his shoulders, somewhat scared of what was about to happen..

"Gaara.. "

"Yeah..." His voice coated in curiousity and fear...

"Ever since that day.. the one when I found out that I was to leave with my grandma... I wanted to tell you something..."

"Naruto...?"

"I wasn't sleeping Gaara.. So I thought you should know..."

His body froze. I tightened his hand in mine and looked down, heart racing.

"I love you too."