Neko-chan: I apologize, but I'm going to start out with a rant.
*RANT WARNING*
Me right after the episode: "Okay, so I have to admit, it was pretty good for a filler. It took up 2 episodes, and there was another filler before that, so now they need to go back to Ikuto. I had a dream where Ikuto and Amu kissed last night, so hopefully that's a good sign." *preview starts* "… Oh no! Nana-chan is sick! …" Okay, so normally, I like Nana. She's cute and funny, but not today. SCREW NANA. She may have a small fever for a bit! SO WHAT? Who gives a damn? Ikuto's been in pain for HOW LONG NOW?
*RANT OVER*
Though I am desperately afraid to make yet another promise, I'm going to start trying to update more than once a week.
Amu: She's not going to keep the promise. Don't get their hopes up.
Neko-chan: First off, I don't wanna hear that shit coming from you, miss "Oh, don't worry, Yoru! I'll help you save Ikuto!". Second of all, I'm at least going to try, unlike you.
Amu: But-
Neko-chan: No. Now I'm going to apologize to Mirror for Chara neglect.
Mirror: Yay! *hugs Neko-chan* Neko-chan doesn't own Shugo Chara!
Chapter 10
Attempt at Escape
Amu's POV
That night, I lay in the hospital bed with my eyes glued to the ceiling. Ikuto was forced to leave by the employees because it was 'too late'. Stupid rule.
Amu? The voice came from in the depths of my mind, speaking nervously.
Yes, Ran? I responded. I was having troubles paying attention. My mind felt numb as it tried to make sense of everything that had been happening.
You know, we'll all love you, no matter what decision you make. I tried to force a smile, but couldn't. I could hear the silent plea for help in her words, as well as her strained effort to hide it.
I know. I told her, trying to put as much comfort in those words as I could. And I thank you for that. My body felt strained as I longed to hug them all. I'll do my best to make the right decision.
Kay. Through the darkness of the room, I could almost see her giving that little wink with her head tilted sideways; her mouth in one wide smile.
My heart clenched. I wanted to save them so badly… but how could I leave the love of my life? After all, he gave up so much time just waiting for me to finally realize my feelings while I chased after a gay, greedy boy. It would just feel like such a huge betrayal…
And what about Yoru? Is he still there, hiding within Ikuto's heart?
My heart skipped a beat, and my breath got caught in my throat. What if… What if Ikuto forgot about me? What if he gave up that sacrifice to be with Yoru? Tears stung my eyes. Isn't that the same decision I'm making with my charas?
Numbness seemed to spread throughout my entire body, engulfing me with confusion and fear. How was I going to do this? What was I supposed to do? Can't I just have both? They are both too dear to me! I can't give one up for the other! What should I…
I gasped in fear at the dark thought that entered my mind. I had seen it before, only in another form. It was dark and graceful, and despite the great pain that could be caused from it, it seemed to draw others in slowly and give an eternal rest…
Amu! No! Ran was back in an instant.
Don't think about that! Miki said with an astonished tone.
Death isn't the answer! Suu yelled.
You can't possibly be thinking about that! Don't give up on your shine that easily! Dia scolded, trying to be firm, but it was obvious she was panicking.
But so was I. I was panicking, too. My eyes skimmed the room instinctively, and I caught a glimmer of the tool on a nearby shelf.
A knife.
My heart was beating way to fast to be healthy. The dark thought was dancing around in my mind, pulling me away from my charas.
Yeesss… it seemed to call, moving gracefully like a snake, as well as it's words. It will free you from it all… You can escape this. You won't have to make the decision at all. It will all be over…
It guided my feet towards the edge of the bed, pulling me into a sitting position.
AMU!!! NO!!! my charas were screaming inside me.
Slowly, I slid out of the bed, barely making a sound as my feet rested onto the cold tile beneath it. My eyes were completely focused on the knife.
*Doki Doki* *Doki Doki*
This will solve everything, right? I took a step towards it.
Yeessss…
No Amu! Don't be tempted! I took another step towards it. Then another.
It will make all the confusion and pain go away forever… I took the last step. I was standing right in front of the knife.
Amu! Turn back right now! You can't do this! Miki scolded.
I… I have to. I can't make a decision. I can't leave one of you behind to be with the other. I just can't!
My hand shakily reached up and took hold of the knife. I could clearly see the fine edge of the curved side.
Yes. It would only take a simple slice to the throat to end this all… the dark voice continued to draw me in. My normal self control seemed helpless against it. Either that, or it too had given up on trying to deal with the constant confusion.
My hand slowly brought the knife up to my neck, just about a centimeter away. Tears continued to silently slide down my cheeks, making the slightest *splat* as each one hit the floor, though obviously no one would hear that. It was as insignificant as my effort. Pointless. Worthless.
I'll get it over now. 1… 2…
Are you sure this is the way out. My eyes widened as Aitora's voice echoed throughout my entire body, almost as dark as the entity that guided me towards this situation.
Yes! It will get rid of all this stress and confusion! I can finally live in peace!
What about Ikut?. My knees began to shake. What would Ikuto do when he found out I died?
What about your mom? Your dad? Ami? What about all your friends? Don't tell me you honestly believe that they would go on living a happy life without you. Your pain might disappear from you, but it would double up on all your loved ones.
I choked as the remaining strength within me collapsed. My knees lost their support, and I fell to the cold ground, hugging the knife as if it were a teddy bear.
"Gomenasai… Gomenasai… I won't leave… I promise… Gomenasai… Gomenasai…"
The dark entity that was guiding me towards a horrible end was completely gone. I was gasping as I cried like a child.
Soon the doctors busted in and were asking too many questions at once. I couldn't respond to any. My mind had numbed once more, and all I could do was utter small whispers of apology as I cried myself to sleep.
Neko-chan: … I think I got this chapter out using all the depression the anime has built up on me…
Amu: THAT WAS HORRIBLE! YOU ALMOST MADE ME COMMIT SUICIDE!!!
Neko-chan: Yeah… it would have been great if there wasn't a chance of Ikuto escaping and being able to end up with you.
Ikuto: I don't know if I should be flattered that you want me to be happy, or ticked off because you just tried to kill my girlfriend.
Amu: WHAT?! SINCE WHEN AM I YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!!!
Neko-chan: *currently glomping Ikuto*
Ikuto: … since the beginning of this sequel?
Amu: BUT THIS WON'T HAPPEN IN THE REAL THING! IT'S ONLY PRETEND!!!
Neko-chan: *glares* Say that again, and I will kill you personally.
Amu: *cowering*
*ALL AMUTO FANS, PLEASE DON'T SKIP THE FOLLOWING!! NO MATTER WHAT!!!! IT COULD CHANGE YOUR VIEW ON A CURRENTLY POPULAR SONG!!!*
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Neko-chan: I hate Kelly Clarkson now. I currently believe she has gone evil, and is a Tadamu fan. I believe that she made the song, "My life would suck without you" just for the Tadamu AMVs. Listen care- actually, you don't even have to listen carefully. In the song, it clearly sounds like she says, "And Tadase! My life! Would Suck! Withooouuut you!"
I noticed that, and I feel ultra depressed. I used to love that song, too. Now… *shivers* I am already feeling multiple things because of the constant lack of Amuto in both the anime and the manga, such as: Depression, Hysteria, Insaneness, Lack of Sleep, Random Mood Swings
Neko-chan: Well, you get the point.
Tadase: Hey! What's so-
Neko-chan: KYAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *goes into ultra insane mood and stabs Tadagay multiple times in the chest*
Tadase: * blood gurgling in throat*
Neko-chan: *huffing*
Everyone: O.o
Neko-chan: *sighs and immediately snaps back to… supposedly normal state* Ah. I needed that. Anyways, see you all sometime soon.
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