Alicia—Oh, yeah! I have him right where I want him. By the way…okay, the next few chapters will not have as much of you and Eddie as I had hoped…but, like I keep saying, I'm making up for it with these HUGE, HUGE, HUGE scenes! I think you're going to love them. I KNOW you're going to love them!

Jenna—Oh, I think that you'll like them. ;) They're very realistic…

Hearts Aglow—You're welcome! Wait…why are you thanking me? (Hey, whatever it is, I'm glad to get another review! LOL!) Seriously, though, I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

Chapter Thirteen

"That's more like it!" Jenna chirped. "Okay…first, I want to talk to Greasy…alone. Second, I want to get some pamphlets in here, all on real estate in Toon Town. Third, I want for someone to bring here a list of certain Toons…I'll tell you their names…wait, why are you not writing this down?"

Smarty's eyes were bugging out of his head. "You're out of your mind!"

"Well…okay, okay…fine, you win," Jenna threw her hands in the air as a sign of surrender. "But tomorrow morning…I'll go to R.K. Maroon and pitch him an idea for an educational short called Animated Autobiographies…and we can have a long section devoted to the Wacky Weasels. So what's it going to be?"

Jenna was in the other room now. After a conference between the Toon Patrol members, they agreed to a few of the demands, but they had to honor them on their conditions. For starters, Greasy wasn't allowed to be alone with Jenna in the other room. Wheezy was with him. (Smarty and Stupid were with Lulu now, and Psycho was guarding over Alicia and Eddie.) They didn't agree to the other two terms, but Jenna seemed content with having at least one of them satisfied. "Never put the low priorities first," she whispered to Lulu before she was escorted into a separate room.

"Why didn't you all stick around the crime scene?" Lulu wondered aloud, looking at Smarty. "You've been running around in circles, chasing after some rabbit, and you're not even sure if he's the culprit."

"He is," Smarty insisted, sitting down in a chair opposite her. "We know all about foreign-sick's," he bragged, and Lulu giggled.

"The proper word is 'forensics', stupid."

"He's not Stupid, I am!" The chubby weasel called out, pointing to himself with a fat thumb. Lulu slapped a hand to her face.

"I wasn't talking to you, idiot."

"No, I'm Stupid, not Idiot!" Another slap to the face was delivered, but then she turned to Smart Ass, ignoring Stupid.

"Let's play a game," Lulu suggested. Smarty narrowed his eyes at her. "Quid pro quo," she continued. "You answer my questions, I'll answer yours…and if you want to play the whole 'good cop, bad cop' game, you'll have to do it yourself, meaning he can't be here." She nodded at Stupid, who smiled sheepishly and left the room. Smarty and Lulu were alone. "Go ahead," she urged. "Ask me anything."

"Since when did you start giving me orders?" He demanded.

"Since you separated me and Jenna, I think," she replied in a matter-of-fact way. She was relishing the sudden control she had of the situation, and it was driving Smart Ass crazy. "How long are you planning on keeping us in here?"

"Until you give us answers," he said firmly.

"I know about what happened at Fleischer Studios," she told him gently, and he softened a little. "Why did you guys join the Toon Patrol?"

"Judge Doom was very persuasive," he replied, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. "Found us after we found out about Maroon Cartoons."

"Have you met Roger Rabbit in person before?" Lulu asked, forgetting that it was Smarty's turn to ask her a question.

"Briefly," he muttered, slumping over in his seat. "Nice guy."

"Why are you after him now?"

"All of the evidence says that he's guilty of the crime of murder. And I'm just doing my job."

"It's just business, is that it?" She said bitterly, and his eyes shot open.

"When you put it that way, yes, it is. What do you think we're going to do with you, Valiant, and your two little friends?"

"I don't know what you're doing with Eddie and Alicia, and I don't know what Greasy is doing with Jenna, but I suspect that we're all getting the same treatment," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "And all I know is…the last time a girl was thrown in the back of a car and kidnapped, she was sodomized, tortured, and lit on fire. Is that what you're going to do?"

"Now, now…we wouldn't want to hurt any more pretty faces, would we?" He chuckled. And then he stood up, walked over to her chair, and placed the tip of his switchblade under her chin. Lulu shuddered, not because she was frightened or disgusted, but because she was…kind of flattered in a sick, twisted way. It had been a while before anyone had said she was pretty. (The last person to say she was pretty was a six-year-old, but she digressed.) Okay, how did the logic in Cool World work? If a Doodle had sex with a real person, then the Doodle would become a real person. But…would that make Smart Ass a real person…or a real weasel? Gross! There was no way she was going to make love with a disgusting animal…wait, why was she thinking about having sex with Smarty? This was just screaming "AWKWARD!" And then, what if—

And then, before she knew it, Smart Ass had leaned over and kissed her lightly on the mouth.

Oh, wait. Who cared? And did that matter?

Review, please! :)

R.I.P. Shanda Sharer (June 6, 1979 – January 11, 1992)

For those of you who don't know, Shanda Sharer was the girl my character mentioned earlier while she was talking to Smarty. In light of Amanda Todd's suicide, I've been thinking a lot about girls who were victims of bullying or abuse. Shanda was one of them. I dedicate this chapter to her.