Time froze.
The instant Eren's lips met his, the minutes stretched into eons and one hundred years seemed to pass by in a blink. Levi's eyes widened for a brief moment as his thoughts began to race, before they began to scatter into white fragments and then ceased. His mind filled with blissful nothingness, so overwhelmed that it simply shut down, and his brain became a mere life support system for his twitching heart, everything inside of him shuddering in unison. The only coherent sensation he could process was the feeling of Eren's lips on his own, and the sight of that face attached so intimately to his.
He saw that the boy's cheeks were flushed darkly, and that the blush continued all the way to his ears. However, he only got a small glimpse, because a moment later, Levi felt his eyes slipping closed. His consciousness seemed to flee and something else took over. He belatedly recognized it as that warm, tingly feeling he got whenever Eren did something he found endearing, except how it was magnified tenfold, screaming in triumph and urging him to reciprocate the affections of the boy that now took up most of the room in his heart.
So Levi did.
Slowly, as if he were dreaming, Levi began to move his lips against Eren's, the sensitive skin tingling like crazy. He felt Eren sigh in relief against his lips, before the boy parted for breath for a second, and then came back again, this time tilting his head slightly, trying to deepen the kiss. And Levi let him, feeling his head tilt the opposite way and also feeling the tips of their noses brush together as they did so. He registered Eren's hand groping for his, the boy searching for reassurance, and Levi gripped his hand softly.
Slowly, Levi began to realize that kissing Eren felt good, good beyond his wildest imagination of how a kiss was supposed to make one feel. It felt easy, as easy as breathing, and warm, so very, very warm. It felt right, like this was where he was supposed to be from the beginning. It was as if his heartbeat didn't make sense until it had found the reason it was beating for, and that person had touched his lips to his. He was meant to be here, by Eren's side, drowning in how good this kiss felt and eagerly anticipating the next one-
And with a start, Levi realized that was a huge problem. This kiss shouldn't feel good at all, shouldn't feel as right and sweet as it did. It was…
They couldn't do this.
Levi backed away reluctantly, their lips separating with a soft sound. However, Eren, who still his hand gently gripping the back of the older man's neck and his eyes closed in bliss, assumed he was just parting for another breath, and a second later, he was trying to pull him back in for another kiss. He didn't ever want to stop kissing him, his own mind reeling and his lips tingling. He would sit here for the rest of the night kissing this man if he let him, anything to keep himself suffocating under the heady cloud of elation that had settled over him. His eyes had traveled to Levi's lips so many times, wondering what they might taste like, and now he finally knew, and he wanted more, so much more-
"Eren."
That simple apprehensive murmuring of his name threw a cold bucket of water over the cozy sense of desire burning in his chest. He leaned away from Levi's face enough to look him in the eye, his own eyes wrought with concern, searching the other man's gaze for what could possibly be wrong. But Levi was refusing to meet his eyes, looking down at the floor off to the right instead.
"Eren, go to your room," the older man stated quietly after a moment.
The boy felt his stomach drop harshly, and his heart began to pound. Fear and hurt began to tear through him, visceral and nauseating. Tears welled up in his eyes rapidly, and he shook his head in denial, whispering, "No, no no no no, please no, please Levi, don't."
He took his hand back from the back of the other man's neck, and instead grabbed both of his hands in a beseeching gesture. But still, Levi repeated firmly, "Go to your room."
"Levi, no," Eren begged, "Please don't, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again, just don't do this."
Confused, he looked up at Eren, and that was when he saw the tears flowing in earnest down his cheeks, his nose and cheeks red with his crying, expression crumpled, ruined and desperate. However, he didn't get to look for long, because in the next instant the boy was flinging himself at him, clinging to Levi like he might slip away at any second, and with a painful thud of his heart, he realized that was exactly what Eren was afraid of. He wasn't just upset over Levi's apparent rejection of his kiss. He was terrified that Levi was rejecting him altogether, that now that he knew of Eren's true feelings for him, he might not want anything to do with him anymore. The tears soaking his shoulder and the desperate, almost painful squeeze of Eren's arms around him confirmed his suspicions. And he was right; more than anything, almost on the same level of his fear of Nile, Eren had developed the vicious, crippling fear of losing Levi. He would do anything to prevent that from happening, even bury his feelings for the man.
"Oh, Eren, no," Levi soothed, wrapping his arms securely around him, "No, shh, shh, don't cry. Don't cry, it's okay. It's not what you think, I…I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, I'm not leaving you. I'll never leave you, I said that, didn't I? No matter what. Shhhh…"
Eren shuddered in his arms for a few minutes, taking deep, harsh breaths, trying to stop the tears and calm himself down. He backed out of the embrace, furiously wiping at his eyes with the heel of his hand, willing his hammering heart to ease. He was too embarrassed to look Levi in the eye, but did so a moment later when he felt the man's hands cup his face in his hands, thumbs gently wiping away the remaining streaks of his tears.
"I'm right here," he repeated, "And I-I'm sorry, you just startled me is all. I wasn't expecting, um, that."
Sniffling, Eren brightened the tiniest bit, a sliver of hope returning to his heart. "S-So…does that mean-did you, you know, like it?"
Levi opened and shut his mouth a few times, unsure how to reply, before he finally said in the quietest of admissions, his cheeks turning slightly pink, "I think I did."
Eren brightened further, a hint of an excited smile forming on his face. But before he could say anything, the other man added, "And that's exactly the problem."
"Why?" the boy wanted to know immediately, "What's the problem? Is it because of the age difference? Levi, trust me, I wanted to kiss you long before tonight, but I waited until my birthday so it wouldn't be a problem."
"No. I mean, the age gap should bother me, but it doesn't. That's not the issue here, Eren. The issue is my job. I'm supposed to be taking care of you, helping you prepare for a life on your own someday. No matter how each of us may feel, pursuing a relationship, a romantic one, could get us both in big trouble. I could lose my job, and you could get shipped off to another home, or worse, be sent straight to Hutchings if they had probable cause, and we're already treading on thin ice in that area. We can't risk it, Eren."
The boy's eyes had begun dimming all the while Levi had been speaking, and now his eyes filled with tears again, his lower lip wobbling as he tried to hold himself together. Levi's chest ached at the sight, and he felt his own throat tightening with the threat of tears at both what he was saying and the knowledge that he was causing his brave, beautiful Eren so much pain. He didn't want to do this to him, not in a million years. Part of him, more than anything, did want to kiss him again, just to validate that it would feel as good as the first time did. Another part of him wasn't sure of his own feelings. He knew they were there, but he wasn't sure how deep they ran. Either way, they couldn't afford to find out, not if they wanted to stay together.
"But," Eren tried again, his voice cracking under the strain of his tears, "But I don't care about any of that. I mean, I do, I don't want to be separated from you but…dammit Levi, for years, all I ever wanted was my freedom. I thought if I got that, I'd never want for anything else again. Then you came along and had to fuck everything up. You had to be amazing, and make me feel safe and happy, you had to treat me right and be as broken as I was so that I knew we were on equal ground. You had to comfort me as often as I did you and let me know I was helping you as much as you were helping me. You had to be so sweet and careful with me, and so beautiful that I couldn't take it. You made me want you, as badly as I wanted freedom back then. You made me want to kiss you, to stay by your side for as long as I could and keep making you happy as long as you'd let me. You ruined me in a way I've never been ruined before. You ruined me in a way everyone should be. I…Levi, please. Can't we try?"
Levi took a deep breath, Eren's words sinking in and cutting him deeply. He had no idea the boy felt this way about him, and it disturbed him how similar they were to his feelings for him. He wanted to tell the kid that; the words were on the tip of his tongue, to tell him how Levi had never had anyone in his life like him before, that part of him wanted to say fuck the Wings of Freedom and give Eren his very heart and soul in return for all he had done for him. It was the least he deserved. But his fear of losing the boy was too harsh, too prominent and all consuming. They couldn't do this, and he'd have to tell him so.
No matter how sick the words made him feel on the way out.
"No," he said hoarsely, "I'm sorry, Eren. I'm so sorry."
The boy lowered his head in defeat, and he seemed to shrink right in front of Levi's eyes. It was such a stark contrast to how he had been the rest of the day, vibrant and loud and breaching something resembling confidence. He had been so happy, and now he almost looked like the frightened child Levi had first brought into his home again. If it was possible, his heart broke even more, especially when he saw the boy's sobs begin to shake his shoulders. Wanting to make it better but not knowing if Eren wanted him to touch him right now, he tentatively laid his hands on the boy's shoulders. But of course, Eren would never reject him. He'd follow Levi wherever he went, be that just across the street or to the edge of the Earth, as long as the man would have him. He'd take whatever he was offered, whether that was a kiss or a hug or just a kind glance, either one would make him the happiest person in the world. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Levi's shoulder, and the man held him and rocked him back and forth, rubbing a hand across the expanse of his back.
"It's okay, Eren," he assured him, "It'll be okay. We'll get through this. We've been through worse, right?"
Eren, to his relief, nodded against him, though it seemed halfhearted. Of course it was. The boy didn't want what Levi was proposing, not at all. He would do it, Levi had no doubts, but he could only imagine what this was going to do to Eren's psyche in the coming days and weeks. Hell, what it was going to do to his own psyche as well. But that was a worry for later. For now, as he promised, he wasn't going anywhere. No matter what happened between them, that would never change.
000
It turned out Levi didn't have to wait long.
For a while, everything seemed to carry on as normal, until one morning a couple days later, when Levi shuffled in for breakfast at around seven and caught sight of Eren balled up on the couch under a quilt in the living room. First, he was surprised. What on Earth was the kid doing out here so early in the morning? Then, he grew concerned. Eren was clearly asleep, though from the way he was breathing, shallow and further up in his chest, he was clearly just dozing. That fact was confirmed when his eyes fluttered open at the sound of Levi's soft, padded footsteps, and he turned his head in the other man's direction.
"Morning," he said, voice thick with sleep.
"Hey kid," Levi greeted him from the doorway to the kitchen, "You okay? What are you doing in here this early in the morning?"
The boy's eyes flicked to the side, refusing to meet Levi's gaze. He finally answered after a minute of playing with a few stray threads on the quilt, "I, um…I had an accident last night. Took the sheets off my bed and came in here. Couldn't really fall back asleep after that."
"You…oh Eren," Levi sighed sadly, making his way over to the couch and sitting on it beside him. He reached a hand out and laid it on the side of his face, stroking the boy's cheek. It was then that he felt that it was a bit warmer than normal, and the uncomfortable worry in his stomach grew. "You feel like you have a fever too."
"Hmm, yeah," Eren mumbled, hiding his face a little under the blankets, "Took my temperature last night. It's not bad, only a degree or so over. I barely feel it, my head's just a little fuzzy."
"Why didn't you come and get me up?" Levi wanted to know, "I could have helped you. You could have gotten in bed with me if you wanted. This couch isn't that comfortable for sleeping on."
"I don't even know how I got it," the boy defended, and then added, "And I um, I didn't want to bother you, it was early in the morning. Besides, I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself."
The older man opened his mouth to argue, but then shut it again. The look in Eren's eyes, hollow and defensive, told him he wasn't going to get anywhere if he pushed it, even though he wanted to say that he didn't care about the time of day, Eren could come and get him any time he wanted. The boy knew that, had done it several times already. So what made this time so different?
"Alright Eren," Levi relented, removing his hand from the side of his face and standing up slowly, "If you're sure you're okay. If you need me, you know I'll be around. I'm going to make some breakfast. Come in if you want some, alright?"
"Sure."
When he left Eren's side and walked into the kitchen, suddenly it hit him. Eren didn't want to bother him because, even though Levi had told him it was okay, he didn't feel as if he were allowed to anymore. Even though he had reassured Eren that no matter what happened between them, he'd always be there for him, Eren still felt rejected on some level. He was pushing Levi away, not because he wanted to, but because perhaps he felt Levi was uncomfortable being around him, and didn't want to make the situation worse. He didn't feel as if he was entitled to Levi's comfort anymore and it broke the older man's heart when it was the complete opposite of the truth. The bed wetting and the fever might also have been caused by the stress of the rejection, of thinking he couldn't cuddle up to Levi anymore when he was scared, only making his anxiety worse in turn.
His suspicions were only confirmed over the next week and a half, when almost every morning, he'd walk into the kitchen to see Eren huddled up on the couch, and he didn't have to ask to know what had happened. His fever also remained steady, not growing higher or going away.
However, what really began to worry Levi was the fact that the boy beginning to refuse food again.
The first morning he had refused breakfast, he had just assumed the fever was making Eren a little queasy. And then he had declined breakfast again the next day, and the breakfast and lunch the day after, until Levi didn't remember the last time he had eaten a full meal. The worst feeling in the world was having to go to Eren's bedside, get on his knees and beg the boy to have some soup, or some toast, anything, as long as it went in his belly. The boy relented and did have something, but it became a ritual over that week, that he wouldn't eat unless Levi asked him to, saying he just didn't have an appetite anymore.
And worse, Levi could feel his own appetite fleeing as well.
That week seemed to last for an eternity. Levi didn't sleep anymore, his anxiety returning with a vengeance and making relaxing enough to fall asleep impossible, and his stomach clenched at the sight or smell of food. And from the dark circles under Eren's eyes, he knew he was having similar problems. But he never sought Levi out for comfort, instead trying to deal with it on his own and obviously failing miserably. Both of them were so exhausted and anxious that it was ruining their appetites, and Levi was itching so badly to pull Eren into his arms and let him know that everything was okay, but he didn't think it would do any good at this point.
Worst of all, Levi had no idea how to fix this.
This was becoming one of those instances where, more than anything, he wished his mom was still alive so that he could ask her what he should do. As Eren grew more distant, he began to feel emptier and colder than he had in a long time, and he wanted his mom to fill the void, to hold him and let him know that everything would be alright. He began to want her back so badly that it ached, and he couldn't remember feeling like this since the first few years after he had lost her. It was getting out of hand.
So one morning, just as the sun began to rise, he got up and got dressed, not even bothering to try and eat anything, and grabbed a sticky note from the kitchen, scribbling a message on it quickly.
Eren,
Went to cemetery to visit my mom's grave. Should be back in an hour, two at the most.
He then quietly circled around to the side of the couch and left the note on the side table next to it, knowing Eren was sure to see it when he woke up. He regarded the boy sadly, noticing that he was already beginning to lose some of the roundness in his face that they had worked so hard to put there, and that he looked quite pale save for the soft fever flush that still lingered in his cheeks. At least right now he looked like he was actually sleeping deeply, at least for a little bit. So, Levi felt safe briefly caressing the side of his face with the backs of his fingers and brushing some stray strands of hair out of the way that had settled in front of Eren's eyes. The boy sighed in his sleep, pushing his face subtly closer into Levi's hand at the touch with a soft murmur of the man's name. His heart fluttered sadly in response, and with one final caress, he was grabbing his keys and heading out the door.
The cemetery where Kuchel was buried was no more than a half hour away, and as he drove there, Levi took in the warm colors of the sunrise bleeding across the sky, the light gaining strength and warmth as the sun rose higher above the mountains. He felt the sunlight join him in the car once he rounded a bend, and the orange light warmed him everywhere it touched. There were also several deer wandering along the sides of the road, having probably just emerged looking for new spring shoots. He had to stop at one point for a doe and a couple of her fawns to cross the street, before he found himself pulling into the cemetery and stopping by the plot where he knew his mother's headstone resided.
Once he got out of the car, he weaved around a few other rows of headstones before he found it. It was simple and black, with nothing but her name on it and the years of her birth and her death. Anyone who could see it could see that she was young when she had died, and anyone who had watched the news probably knew who she was. In fact, it wasn't unusual for him to come here and find flowers on her grave that he hadn't placed there himself. He thought it was sweet, showing that other people sympathized with her and wanted her to rest peacefully. It was the least she deserved after her ordeal. Part of Levi wished he could rest with her, was resentful that he was still alive when so many had died. Survivor's guilt, his therapist had assured him. It was no wonder he had it, considering he was in fact the only person that had survived his captivity, and technically he wasn't have supposed to.
Not having any proper flowers with him, and seeing as she already had a bouquet of them laid against her grave anyway at the moment, Levi kneeled down and placed a bundle of lavender at the base of her headstone. His mother had always smelled like lavender before their captivity, and he knew she loved it.
"Hey mom," he whispered, though there was no need. There was no one else in the cemetery this early in the morning, "I know it's earlier in the year than I normally visit, but don't worry, I'll be back Memorial Day again to see you. I just, now, I'm having a bit of a problem. Well, not a bit of a problem, a huge one. God, where do I start?"
And that was when he launched into his tale, explaining everything from how Eren had first come to the Wings of Freedom, to his progress both physically and mentally, to how they had begun to grow closer and closer as the months had gone on, and finally how they had kissed and then how Levi had explained to him why they couldn't be together.
"And now we're both a mess," he finished with a hollow laugh, "I know why too, and yet I haven't done anything to fix it. Isn't that messed up? We're both hurting by distancing ourselves from each other, and yet we can't risk being together the way Eren wants to. The way I…I want to. Yeah, I think I want him in the same way. I've realized that now, being apart from him. I need him the same way he needs me, and everything he said…he was right, he ruined me in the best way possible too. Ruined me from ever being able to be apart from him again, or not being able to see him anything less than perfectly happy. Goddamn it, this can't be healthy, but who cares. I need my Eren back. But we can't…mom, if anyone found out, he'd be taken away from me, no questions asked, and I might never see him again."
He bowed his head and placed a hand on her headstone, tracing the letters of her name, before asking desperately, "What the hell should I do? Either way, we'll lose. Shit, this is why I need you here. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you, mom. I'm so sorry. I still love you so much."
After a moment, he leaned back to sit on his heels, wiping his eyes. He stayed sitting there for a bit longer, simply taking comfort in the small physical presence that was left of his mother, still wishing desperately that she would appear and take him into her arms, call him cricket, tell him that he was strong, that he could get through this like he got through everything else. Hell, this was nothing compared to his time as a captive. Still, it hurt, and it hurt worse knowing that he didn't have his mother to help him like everyone else had theirs.
Just then, he heard a soft, peeping noise below him, and he recognized the sound of a cricket before he even saw it physically hop up onto his mother's headstone. Levi noticed that they tended to congregate around his mother's headstone whenever he was here, and that thought alone comforted him. However, it was quite early in the year for them to be out, so how did this one get here? A moment later, he found he didn't really care when it began to rub its legs together and resume its song, the song that always reminded him of late, heady summer nights, of fireflies and tree frogs and cicadas, and more importantly, he and his mother sitting in the tall, warm grass and admiring all of these things.
"Crickets sing so nicely," she'd observed wistfully while holding Levi in her lap and placing her chin on top of his head, "Perhaps I should have named you that instead?"
Levi had scrunched up his nose in distaste at the suggestion. "Yuck, no thanks. I don't want to be named after a bug."
"Well, like it or not," she had said, "You and they have some things in common."
"Like what?"
"You're both small, you both make me feel happy, you're both been good luck for me, and you both have the prettiest singing voices."
In the present, Levi's eyes widened suddenly, and for a moment, he simply stared at his mother's name in front of him as realization set in. Of course, that was the advice his mother would give him if she were still here. It was her answer for when anything got rough for him, for when he had given up all hope in that bunker.
Sing.
Quickly, he rose from his spot, thanking his mom and promising once again that he'd back soon, before striding away and hopping back into his car, leaving the tiny cricket that still sat on his mom's grave to continue its song in peace.
000
When Levi got home, he tried to be as quiet as possible as he made his way through the front door, considering the living room lay beyond it, but it appeared it didn't matter. Eren wasn't there on the couch anymore. However, upon closer inspection, he could see the brown tuft of his hair peaking above the rim of the short wall that separated the living room from the kitchen, and after he took off his shoes and coat and made his way into the kitchen, he could see that the boy was sitting down at the table. However, his heart dropped into his stomach when he saw that the boy's head was bowed, being held up by one hand on his forehead, and caught the glimmer of tears on his cheek. One tear even dripped onto the table, before he realized Levi was there and hastily began to wipe them away.
"Hey," Eren greeted him, trying in vain to cover up the fact that he had been crying, "Have a good visit with your mom? It's pretty nice out now. Sat and watched the deer eating in the front yard for a bit."
"Yeah, I did. You're right, it's pretty out this morning," Levi replied, failing to cover up his concern. God, Eren was a wreck, physically and mentally. He looked like a ghost, and now acted like one too, too awkward to engage in anything but small talk with the older man anymore.
His mind was made up; he had to do this. And he had to do it now before both of them got worse.
"Eren," he said, "Come into the living room with me."
The boy blinked in confusion, his eyes still red with the evidence of his crying. "For what?"
"I just want to try something. Do you trust me?"
Eren nodded, and said without hesitation, "Yeah. Okay."
He then got up from the table and followed Levi into the middle of the floor, standing there awkwardly for a moment before the older man came up closer to him and pulled the boy's arms carefully around his waist. Once he was sure he wasn't going to let go, he then placed his arms around Eren's neck. The boy raised an eyebrow, opening his mouth to ask him what was going on, but Levi cut him off with a somewhat shy request, cheeks turning pink as he asked, "Dance with me?"
Taken completely off guard, Eren simply nodded stupidly with a stuttering reply of, "S-Sure. But we don't have any music."
Levi just shrugged. "Minor detail. I'll sing something."
Eren just nodded again, not knowing what was going on, but not questioning it, not when Levi had brought their bodies so close together, when his palms were so solidly holding the other man's slim waist, and certainly not when his arms were wrapped comfortably around Eren's neck. His heart began to thud excitedly, picking up speed when Levi began to move them aimlessly, not really dancing so much as comfortably swaying.
And his heart stopped altogether when he caught the words of the song Levi began to sing.
"Hello pretty one
with eyes like the sea,
come and dance with me,
come and dance with me.
Hello pretty one
with eyes like the sea,
dance on the waves with me."
This song…Eren knew this song. Like a forgotten dream, suddenly he remembered the sound of Levi's voice cutting through his panic in the hospital the day they met. He remembered how his affection for the man had begun even then, just a tiny spark born out of curiosity about this stranger who had taken Eren into his home. And in time, his affection had grown until it warmed every inch of him, made it so that Levi's face and voice were enough to keep him going when nothing else could.
And then he had to screw it up.
"I'll dance with you
upon the waves,
come and fly with me,
come and fly with me.
I'll dance with you
upon the waves
and give you my first kiss."
His first kiss with Levi had been his first kiss ever; Nile had never kissed him, nor had anyone else. Eren found that even though he had been rejected, he'd never regret that. It was hard to regret a first kiss that one shared with someone whom they admired and trusted, who made them happy. No matter where he went in life, he'd treasure it like nothing else.
"Oh lovely one
so close to me,
say you'll stay with me,
say you'll stay with me.
Oh lovely one
so close to me,
you took my heart with your lips."
Levi trailed off after that, and slowly, they stopped dancing, the older man choosing instead to hide his face in Eren's shoulder, rearranging his arms so that they came up under the boy's arms and his hands rested on his shoulder blades. He felt Levi take a deep, shaking breath, felt his warm exhale through his clothes and heat up his skin, and he tried hard to suppress a shiver. His stomach doing somersaults, and he could feel his cheeks heating up in a way that had nothing to do with his fever. They stood like that for a solid minute, Levi trying to work up the courage to say something, and Eren simply soaking in the feeling of the other man's body against his, afraid that it might be the last time he'd ever want to hold Eren like this.
At last, he lifted his head, and to Eren's surprise, there was a soft, sad smile on his face.
"Eren," he said, and it sounded almost like the way he said his name when he was about to tell the boy to go to his room, that they couldn't risk something like this, no matter what their feelings for each other might be. Eren braced himself, waiting for the words that would shatter his heart irreparably. He gripped Levi's waist a little tighter, finding himself savoring every detail about the man that he could while he had this one, final chance; his warmth, his smell, the slight hint of blue in his dark eyes, the way his hair always fell in front of his eyes in a way that made Eren want to brush it out of his face constantly.
He knew he'd never feel this way about anyone again.
"Who are we kidding?"
Eren drew in a soft, sharp intake of breath, and stared at Levi, wide-eyed, his heart freezing once more in his chest. However, it kicked into overdrive again once the man leaned forward, his eyes closing, and touched their lips together. The boy's eyes fluttered shut after a moment, and his surroundings ceased to exist.
In unison, their minds turned to warm mush as their thoughts lost their meaning, and they each found their place in the world. Sure, they had been by each other's side since the beginning, but everything seemed to click into place when Levi acknowledged the fact that his feelings ran as deeply for Eren as the boy's ran for him. This kiss made him feel the same way the last one had, only far more intensely so. He discovered then that he was meant to care about him in every sense of the word. They were meant to cling to each other and never let go, to desire each other as hard as they were able to, and they were meant to do it to spite all the evil that had been inflicted upon them. Levi softly caressed Eren's face, cupping his cheeks in his hands, and carefully tilted his head, deepening the kiss. Eren tilted his head the opposite way, gripping Levi tighter around the waist.
When they had no choice but to part for a breath, Eren was left a panting, giggling mess, his face bright red. Levi was in a similar state, minus the laughing, but he was unable to wipe the smile from his face.
"Really?" Eren asked, his voice awash with childish hope.
"Yeah." And Levi leaned forward for another kiss, this one much shorter and chaster, but no less sweet. "I'm so sorry, Eren. I'm sorry for putting you through this. I thought it would be the better option, but then I figured no matter what we choose, we'll be unhappy, so I figured this would make us less unhappy."
"No I know, I understand," the boy assured him, "I just…I can't believe it. You-you're…wow."
"Yeah?" Levi questioned teasingly, "That good of a kisser, huh? Last time you kissed me was my first kiss, you know. I can't be that good."
Eren just laughed and gently brought his head closer so that their foreheads touched, holding Levi's face in his finally un-bandaged hands while the man wrapped his arms back around his neck. They didn't kiss, or say anything for a moment; they just breathed each other in, warm, sweet affection dripping like honey down their throats and coating their hearts.
"We'll have plenty of time to practice now though, won't we?" Eren finally asked, "Kissing, I mean?"
Levi laughed softly, his breath tickling Eren's lips and making them tingle without him even touching them, and said, "I wouldn't mind that."
And with that, he set to make good on that statement, kissing Eren again, not seeing the cricket that crept onto the hearth by his woodstove, nor did he hear its soft, sweet, approving chirping.
A/N: Chapter title means "cricket," if that wasn't obvious lol. I do hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, I find writing romance to be very difficult, hence why I write so much violence instead, heh.