CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Spring, 1977 – Summer, 1977
The spell had taken. Narcissa was pregnant.
She had found out only days later, using the same potion Bellatrix had given her the first time she had found herself in this state; only this time, there would be no aborting it. This time, she would be forced to carry it to term only to ultimately hand it over to its death, and Narcissa felt sick with herself. It didn't help that she was having morning sickness on top of that, and now felt as though she spent more time in the bathroom than she did anywhere else.
She told Lucius she must have come down with the flu. She couldn't tell him the truth; not yet. Narcissa just… she didn't know how. How do you tell your husband that you sold their child? Because the worst part about all of this was that Lucius had to think that it was his; Bellatrix told her that she did this to save her from the pain, not him. At the end of the day, they both knew how Lucius would react should he find out it was Bellatrix who impregnated her.
"You need to tell him," Bellatrix told her one day, her arms snaking around her sister's waist from behind as she basically cradled her stomach. Although Narcissa wasn't showing yet, she knew it was only a matter of time; she was ten weeks along. Bellatrix placed her chin on her sister's shoulder, her voice low as she stated that which Narcissa was already painfully aware of. "As dimwitted as that man is, he's going to notice eventually."
"Don't you think I know that?" Narcissa responded, her tone filled with distress as she glanced at the threshold of the parlor doorway. Lucius had just gotten home from work and was changing upstairs; and while it generally tended to take him awhile, as he usually showered first, Narcissa really didn't want him to hear their conversation. It was one thing not to tell him yet, but if he found out Bellatrix knew first…? "I just… I don't know how."
"Well, you could always start with, 'Lucius, I'm pregnant', and go from there."
Narcissa's expression darkened at that, as it didn't sound as though Bellatrix was taking this seriously. She felt her sister basically stroke her stomach then like… like what she was carrying was something precious to her, and that made Narcissa feel sick, because it implied a sense of caring that she knew her sister did not hold for her unborn baby. But she couldn't deal with Bellatrix's warped sense of maternal instincts right now; as much as she needed to tell her to stop, she had more pressing matters to attend to.
Practically elbowing Bellatrix in the ribs, Narcissa roughly pushed her sister away from her as she exhaled a disbelieving sound of disgust at the casual way the brunette was approaching the situation. "You don't get it, do you?" Narcissa breathed, making sure to keep her voice low. Some of the words caught in her throat, but she refused to cry over this; she had done enough of that already. "I'm going to hurt him, Bella; so deeply that I don't know if he'll ever find it in himself to forgive me for it. And what's more than that, he'll no doubt view what I've done as some kind of betrayal to him because I—I did it to save you. I'm so…" The blonde's hands went to her head then, splayed out across her forehead as she began to feel pressured and overwhelmed. "God, I'm so bloody terrified of his reaction, can't you understand that? I couldn't bear it if he hated me, not on top of everything else…"
"Well what do you expect to do, just get fat and hope he doesn't notice?" Bellatrix responded, looking at Narcissa like she was mental for putting this off, when they both knew she had no other choice but to tell him. "Look, I'm not trying to be insensitive or whatever the fuck you think I'm being right now, but you need to suck it up. He needs to know, and the longer you put it off the worse it's going to be."
Bellatrix was right; Narcissa knew that she was, but that didn't make it any easier. Exhaling a long breath, Narcissa tangled her fingers in her hair as she desperately tried to come up with a solution, any solution that didn't involve having this conversation with her husband. "Maybe… maybe I could just go away for a little while—"
"Where?" Bellatrix interrupted, quick to shut down that idea. "Where the hell could you possibly go for nine months without your husband? Honestly, Cissy, it's like you don't even think—"
"The hospital?" Narcissa tried, turning on her heel as she shot a pleading look at her sister; she needed Bellatrix to help her figure this out. "I could stop eating again, I could—!"
But her wrist was suddenly snatched in Bellatrix's hand, the grip bruising and painful as Narcissa exhaled a small gasp. Her sister's eyes were hardened, dark. "I will kill you myself if you ever pull that shit again, do you hear me?" Bellatrix hissed, not even wanting to hear about the possibility of it; she was done watching Narcissa commit a painfully slow suicide. "Besides, you'd probably kill my fucking child if you did that, and then what'd be the point of any of this?"
Her child. That made Narcissa's stomach do a strange sort of somersault inside of her, and although she wished that it was entirely unpleasant, the sad fact was that it wasn't. God, she couldn't bear this. All she had ever wanted when she was younger was…
No. No, she wouldn't think about that. She refused to, because this wasn't real.
"I didn't… I just meant that I could—that maybe I could just pretend…" Narcissa tried, sounding less sure of herself by the minute. She just didn't know what to do, and starving herself was the first thing that came to mind. It used to be her solution for everything, after all.
"And when Lucius came to visit you in the hospital and realized you weren't there, then what?" Bellatrix countered as she finally let go of her wrist, and Narcissa just shook her head, utterly at a loss. It was a foolish idea, she knew that, but it was the only one she had. And even if she did starve herself for real, then Lucius would still visit her in the hospital and notice her pregnancy. Bellatrix was right; she didn't have any other options. She needed to tell him.
"I'm just…" Narcissa tried, the words beginning to choke up in her throat as she began to feel backed into a corner. She didn't want to do this; she couldn't bear to hurt her husband in this way, but what else could she do? Fair eyelashes blinked back tears as a hand pressed against pursed lips, and after Narcissa exhaled a shuddered breath, she looked at her sister helplessly as she whispered, "I'm scared, Bella. I'm scared of what he'll say, I'm scared of what he'll think of me…"
A tear slipped down her cheek then, and within moments she was wrapped up in her sister's embrace, a protective hand being cradled against the back of her head. "Come on, Cissy, don't do that," Bellatrix chided, sounding a little exasperated by the sight of her sister's sorrow; no doubt she believed Narcissa had ages to come to terms with her decision, as it had been years now, but it just didn't… it didn't work that way. Still, despite her lack of proper empathy, Bellatrix at least knew enough to comfort her, and Narcissa's hands fisted in her sister's robes as she buried her head in the crook of her neck. "You know that's not going to make anything better."
Of course it wasn't; crying never made anything better, but that wasn't why people did it.
"I'm just scared," Narcissa breathed through her tears, needing her sister to understand; needing her sister to save her, even though Bellatrix had already done more than Narcissa could have ever hoped for, under the circumstances. "I'm so scared, Bella, I don't know what to—!"
"…Narcissa?"
Narcissa nearly choked on her breath as she looked up, over her sister's shoulder to see her husband standing in the threshold. He looked so terribly concerned by the sight that greeted him, and Narcissa untangled herself from Bellatrix's embrace as she placed the back of her hand against her lips, trying to will herself to calm down. She hadn't heard Lucius come down the stairs, and now she had no idea how to get out of this without telling him what was wrong. Because as she stood there crying in Bellatrix's arms, it was more than obvious that something was wrong, and Narcissa's mind raced as she tried to figure out what to use as an excuse because she just wasn't—she wasn't ready…
"Narcissa, what— what is it?" Lucius asked, wasting no time crossing the space between them. He barely even regarded Bellatrix as being there as he wiped away another fallen tear from his wife's face, his brow creasing in concern. Lucius' long strands of hair, still wet from the quick shower he had had, hung around his face as his eyes searched hers. "What's happened; what's wrong? Did something…?"
Narcissa opened her mouth to answer, hoping something believable would fall from her lips, but it was her sister who answered first. "Your wife is pregnant."
Narcissa felt like she was about to collapse, but Bellatrix's hand wrapped around her bicep right after she spoke, like she just knew how that would affect her sister. Narcissa wanted to snap at her to not touch her, because how dare she take it upon herself to tell her husband something like that, but in all honesty, she couldn't speak. Her throat felt far too dry.
"You're…?" Lucius breathed, surprise washing across his features as his eyes lit up. He looked elated by that news, so much that he didn't question his wife's tears nor the fact that Bellatrix was privy to the information before he himself was, and it practically broke Narcissa in half as Lucius brought her into his arms. "Darling, that's wonderful!" he exclaimed, hugging her tight for a total of about four and a half seconds until suddenly the reality of what he was presented with seemed to hit him at once; his grip slacking, Lucius pulled away from his wife with a look of dread on his face. "Narcissa... why—why are you crying…?"
He looked terrified of the answer, and for good reason.
Narcissa's gaze hit the floor, and her voice broke in her throat as she demanded softly, "…Get out." Lucius's eyebrows rose, but it wasn't him that she was speaking to. Turning a sharp gaze towards her sister, filled with fury and distress and everything else that was suffocating her due to Bellatrix's inability to keep her sodding mouth shut, Narcissa exclaimed, "Out! Get out of my house, Bella!"
Bellatrix looked exasperated by the blonde's reaction. In her mind, she apparently believed herself to be helping; after all, she probably doubted that Narcissa would ever be able to get there without a push, not after putting it off for this long. "Oh, calm down, Cissy; I wasn't trying to—"
"This doesn't concern you!" Narcissa snapped at her, practically shaking from head to toe; although from anger or fear, she wasn't entirely certain. "I can't believe you did that to me. That wasn't your news to tell; now get out before I force you out!"
Bellatrix's jaw clenched, but she did not disobey her sister's wishes. In the end, she did have enough sense to know that she didn't belong here during this conversation; at least, not while they were trying to pretend that the baby was Lucius'. "Whatever. You'll thank me for it later," she responded flippantly before she turned on the spot, disapparating from their manor with a loud crack.
It sounded so similar to that part inside of Narcissa that was shattering.
Thank her? For what, forcing her to deal with something she wasn't ready to face yet? Perhaps she did have a terrible habit of putting things off until the last moment and ultimately making things worse for herself, but she didn't know how to do anything else. Narcissa didn't know how to function like some kind of stable, level-headed human being. She was a mess, and she would always be a mess. That was just the way things were.
"…Narcissa?" Lucius asked, looking beyond terrified of whatever was terrifying his wife about this pregnancy. It wasn't exactly a secret anymore amongst the Death Eaters that Voldemort was taking children, and so Narcissa was certain that that's where Lucius' first thought went when he realized his wife was practically falling apart at the thought of a pregnancy. And God, he was right, he was right… "What is it? What did you… what did you do?!"
He grasped onto her then, his touch bruising as his eyes begged for her to prove his theory wrong, and Narcissa couldn't handle it. She couldn't—she couldn't do this to him, not right now, not… not ever. And so she couldn't stop the lie that fell from her lips far too easily, for not having any forethought or plan. "I didn't—I'm sorry, I just… my sister, she's barren, and I…!"
Lucius blinked, his grip slackening as Narcissa's words didn't exactly fit with what he feared he would be told. "What?" he asked, now looking immensely confused. "What does Bellatrix have to do with…?"
"I told her because I… I was scared that I wouldn't be able to—that I couldn't carry a child to term, and I didn't want to tell you in case I… in case…" But Narcissa couldn't even finish her sentences. Half of her didn't even know what it was that she was saying; words just kept falling from her lips without any thought or plan, and there was a small voice in the back of her mind that was screaming at her for continuing to do this. This was far past the point of sanity, and would no doubt only make it worse when Lucius finally knew the truth, but she couldn't do this right now, she just couldn't!
Lucius' expression softened, probably understanding more of what Narcissa was trying to tell him than she did herself. "You didn't want to tell me… in case you lost it?"
Narcissa nodded mutely, another tear slipping down her cheek as she continued to blatantly lie to her husband's face. Bellatrix was going to kill her for doing this. Lucius was going to break even further once he realized she lied to him, but Narcissa couldn't stop herself; at the moment, this seemed far more preferable than the truth.
She had never made the best life decisions though.
"Narcissa…" Lucius breathed, wrapping his wife up in his arms as she continued to cry softly against his shoulder. "You shouldn't have to carry around that fear alone. I'm your husband; whatever happens, we'll face it together." Narcissa nodded her understanding, sniffling a bit as he pulled back and wiped another tear from her eye. "How far along are you?"
Narcissa swallowed, yet her voice still seemed to stick in her throat as she told him, "…Ten weeks."
Lucius smiled, the expression lightning up his entire face as he pressed his palms against his wife's cheeks, resting his forehead against hers. "Ten weeks is a long time," he reminded her softly, trying to convince her that the likelihood of her losing the child would have probably occurred before then. Narcissa wasn't entirely sure if that was true or not, but Lucius seemed to believe it anyhow. "Don't worry," he assured her. "I'll get you the best midwife money can buy; I'll check with a private Healer if there's anything we can do to prevent miscarriages… anything, alright? Whatever you need. We won't lose this baby, Narcissa, I swear to you."
He kissed her forehead then, and as another hot tear scorched its way down her cheek, Narcissa couldn't help but wonder how she could keep doing these horrible things to him. For so long, Narcissa used to put herself on some kind of moral pedestal above her sister because Bellatrix was selfish, Bellatrix was cruel, but what was this, if not both of those things as well?
And the worst part about it all was that even her sister, who was apparently just like her in all of the worst ways, didn't even agree with what she had done.
"Have you lost your bloody mind?!" Bellatrix shrieked once Narcissa finally admitted the truth to her a few days later. Not by choice of course, but Bellatrix saw Lucius looking, quote, 'much too happy for a man about to sacrifice their firstborn child', and demanded to know what exactly Narcissa told him. Needless to say, she wasn't very impressed by the choices her sister had been making lately.
"Honestly, what is wrong with you?" Bellatrix hissed, her hand closing roughly around her sister's wrist as she led her into her bedroom so as to not be overheard by Rodolphus, who was no doubt lurking around somewhere close by. After closing the door behind them, Bellatrix rounded on her as she demanded, "What, do you just enjoy making things more difficult for yourself?"
"Of course I don't!" Narcissa exclaimed, her chest compressing with upset as she wrenched her arm out of her sister's grasp. "But I wasn't ready, and what's more is that you knew I wasn't ready to tell him yet! God, what you—what you did to me was horrible, Bellatrix; and you know I don't respond well to being forced into things, so what did you really expect?!"
"For you to not be a sodding idiot for once!" Bellatrix shouted, looking at Narcissa like she couldn't fathom how her brain worked anymore. "I mean, what do you expect to do here, pretend that you're going to have this child with him and then tell him that you lost it in child birth or something?"
Narcissa's eyes widened, believing her sister may have just inadvertently given her a way out of all of this. Bellatrix however, noting this, shut this idea down immediately.
"No," she told her strongly, pointing at her to emphasize her point. "Not only would it be near-impossible to keep your prat of a husband out of the delivery room long enough for that to even work, you'd have to spend the next seven months playing 'happy family' with him. Do you understand what that means? That means baby names, Cissy; that means fucking making up a nursery for this child you're not even going to be able to keep, and God knows what the bloody hell else you'd need to do to prepare for that doomed thing inside of you. Your sanity wouldn't be able to handle that."
Something sick and heavy invaded Narcissa's stomach at that thought, but she clenched her jaw and stood tall, determined to not let that affect her. "You don't understand," she told her, needing Bellatrix to see that this was about more than her. "I did this… I was the one who—this is my burden to bear, Bella, not his! Lucius doesn't deserve this, and if—if making it harder for myself makes it easier on him, then maybe I should just—"
"Make yourself go mental instead?" Bellatrix interrupted, scoffing. "Yeah, good plan."
There was a part of Narcissa that agreed with her sister, that knew Bellatrix was right, and that she'd never be able to go through with this; that, eventually, something would happen that would break her. But she had to try, she just had to. And so she just looked the brunette dead in the eyes, leveled her voice and tried to appear confident in her ability to stay sane and told her, "You don't know what I can handle."
Bellatrix, however, just looked amused by that statement. "You think I don't know you?" she countered, like the thought was ludicrous. Perhaps it was. "Mark my words, Cissy. This little charade of yours? It won't last more than a few months. In the end, Lucius is either going to say or do something that's going to make you feel so guilty that you can't bear it anymore, and it will all come spilling out of you."
Bellatrix touched her face then, cupping it in a way that Narcissa wished felt comforting, but instead seemed rather condescending. "You've never been good at keeping secrets, love." Her thumb traced the blonde's cheekbone then as Bellatrix finished pointedly, her eyebrows rising, "Especially not your own."
And although Narcissa knew that to be true, she prayed that her sister was wrong.
In the end though, Bellatrix had always known her better than she knew herself. Two months passed and although it had been difficult, Narcissa had fought through each and every urge to break down, and managed to continue on with her lie. It felt like it was tearing her apart inside – every time she saw her husband's face light up at the thought of 'their' child – but Narcissa convinced herself to look at the bigger picture and kept her silence, bottling up her pain and secrets inside of her.
Until one bright, shining morning in early June.
Narcissa awoke with a soft kiss on her cheek, the gesture causing her to stir softly from beneath the large duvet. "Wake up," Lucius breathed against her ear, causing Narcissa to shiver slightly from the feeling as she rolled over on her back, opening her eyes to blink up at her husband. He was smiling; looking happy, excited. "I have a surprise for you."
"You do?" Narcissa tentatively asked, trying to come off as mildly surprised and hopeful instead of worried about what it might be. She prayed it had nothing to do with the baby; she couldn't deal with something like that first thing in the morning when it took all of her effort each day not to break down. Still, she might be overthinking this; Lucius had been much more attentive to her lately, and perhaps it was merely a romantic gesture. While that would still fill her with guilt, considering the magnitude of the secret she was currently hiding from him, it would still be more preferable than anything else.
Lucius held out his hand in offering and as Narcissa sat up and took it in her own, he pulled her out of bed and said, "Come on." The smile did not leave his face.
Narcissa tried to respond with her own in kind, but she knew it didn't reach her eyes. Lucius didn't seem to notice this though and merely held tight to her hand as he led her to one of their many empty bedrooms. The feeling of dread in Narcissa's stomach began to grow tenfold at the direction they were heading, and she knew what it was before Lucius even opened the door. She tried to mentally prepare herself for this, but in the end it was far too early in the morning for her to put up her usual façade; and to be quite honest, nothing could have prepared her for what was on the other side of that door anyway.
It was… breathtaking. Something that, should they truly be having this child together, Narcissa would have loved and rejoiced in, but because they weren't… because they weren't, the sight that greeted Narcissa practically crippled her.
Previously, the room had been very bare; they hadn't even opted to paint it or do anything substantial to it until they decided on what they would use it for, but now it was completely redone. The walls were painted a gender-ambiguous pale green with a slightly darker carpet to match. There were beautiful drapes and toys of all variety scattered in every corner of the room, but the thing that held Narcissa's attention the most was the beautiful, ornately crafted crib in the back center of the room, with a gorgeous mobile of the moon and stars above it and, oh God, Lucius was smiling and happy and clearly couldn't wait to introduce their child to its new bedroom and Narcissa… Narcissa couldn't take it anymore.
She began to openly weep, unable to stop herself.
Lucius believed them to be happy tears though and wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek as he breathed, "It's beautiful, isn't it? I think our child will be pleased to call this home; I've spared no expense, everything is top of the line… perhaps it'll end up rather spoiled, but weren't we all?" He chuckled a little, not noticing how his wife was practically falling apart in his arms. He smiled, gently stroking the small bump of his wife's stomach. "Nothing is too good for our baby, Narcissa. Everything it'll want, it will have; of that I promise you."
No, it wouldn't. It wouldn't have anything at all, most of all a life. And it was that… that revelation that finally broke the pregnant woman completely in half.
"Oh God, I can't…" Narcissa whispered through her tears, her sobs becoming more predominant as she struggled to breathe through the force of her tears. Lucius' brow knitted in confusion, clearly not expecting this kind of reaction. But Narcissa could barely see him as she repeated, full of sorrow and apology, "I can't— I can't do this anymore, Lucius; I'm—I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
She couldn't stand there any longer and allow Lucius to get so wrapped up in something that he would never have. She couldn't stand here and participate in a charade that would make the loss of his child so much worse; because this would, wouldn't it? Narcissa had believed before that it would be better not to tell him, to make him think that they just lost the baby in childbirth, but people fall so much harder after they build something up in their minds, do they not? She couldn't let Lucius do that anymore; perhaps if she just put a stop to this, then Lucius would have time to come to terms with the loss of their child, instead of the devastation hitting him all at once.
Lucius pulled away from her then, this horrified look on his face as he heard his wife's words. "What… what are you talking about? What can't you do?" he asked, sounding more terrified than anything to ask, but with the way Narcissa was shaking and crying, Lucius had to know it was something horrible. "Narcissa!" he pleaded, grasping onto her arm and giving her this look that begged for her to tell him that everything was fine; that she was just being hormonal and crazy and whatever else that didn't spell their looming emotional devastation.
"I'm sorry…" Narcissa whispered regrettably, her cheeks stained with tears as she covered her mouth with her hand momentarily, just trying to inhale a breath that wasn't shaking and weak. "I tried to—I didn't want to tell you, I thought… I thought that maybe if I—if I told you that it died during childbirth that it would be easier on you, but…"
Lucius' face paled to a deathly white as he quickly stepped away from Narcissa like she had suddenly become a contagion. "No. You didn't…" he breathed, looking horrified and disbelieving as he tried desperately to hold onto the one shred of hope he had that maybe he was reading this situation entirely wrong. His eyes began to well over with tears, and Narcissa didn't think she could break even further, but seeing her husband begin to cry was not something she was emotionally equipped to deal with. "Narcissa… Narcissa, tell me that you didn't!"
Because he knew what she had done; had feared it once before, but she had lied to him then. She couldn't lie to him now though. Not anymore.
Narcissa exhaled another shuddered sob as she looked at him, her gaze begging for forgiveness that she knew she should never be allotted. "I'm sorry," she whimpered, needing him to know that she felt remorse for doing this; it had torn her apart for years now, and this had never been a decision that she reached easily. "I'm so sorry… with everything that I am, Lucius, I am sorrier than you could ever understand, but I needed to—God, I needed to save her…! He wouldn't do anything unless I… I…"
Lucius looked confused at first, not understanding at all what she was referring to, but then it hit him; and oh God, when it hit him, it hit him hard. Suddenly his devastation was channeled into anger, the betrayal he felt being etched across his expression as he practically manhandled his wife against the door frame. As Lucius had never laid a hand on her in anger before, Narcissa was nearly struck mute, but it didn't matter much anyhow considering Lucius had a slew of colorful things to say to her after that.
"You sold our child for her?!" he screamed, enraged by the information. His touch was forceful, bruising, and yet even in his rage he was still much gentler than Bellatrix ever was. Perhaps that was just because she was pregnant though; doomed child or not, Lucius no doubt couldn't bring himself to accidentally hurt what she was carrying. "Her, of all fucking people— Jesus Christ Narcissa, you… you sold it to mend her mind, didn't you?! That's the only thing that you would have— Tell me!"
Narcissa said nothing; she just choked back a sob and covered her mouth with her hand. That was about as good as an answer as any however, and Lucius looked at her like she had cut him more deeply than any treachery he had ever felt in his entire life.
"God, I was wondering why he just—and that was… that was years ago!" Lucius continued, the expression of hurt and disbelief on his face growing more predominant as he began to realize how deeply seeded this betrayal truly was, and how far back all of this ran. "It was… Jesus,six; six bloody fucking years and you didn't say anything! You just— you just let me marry you, without bothering to inform me that you already sold a part of yourself like some common whore?!"
"I… I didn't…" Narcissa tried, but she couldn't really formulate sentences anyway; she was crying too hard. She wanted to tell him that she didn't sell the part of her that would actually make her a whore, but she doubted Lucius would care anyway; he just wanted her to feel dirty and ashamed for what she had done, regardless of the accuracy of it. "I thought I had… I wanted to fix—"
"What, you thought you could fix it?" Lucius responded, his tone scathing and mocking. His eyes were alight with anger, but they also swam with tears that refused to fall. "Yeah, great job doing that; I can see that you put all of your effort into not making something like this come to pass.Well done."
"I did!" Narcissa shouted, refusing to let him believe that she stood by all these years and did nothing. Perhaps she did try to ignore it before in the hopes that it would go away, but she put herself through hell this past year finally trying to figure out a way to fix this. "You have no idea what I've done to try to make this right, but this was my only option, Lucius! I had to give him a child, even if it wasn't ours; if I didn't, he would have hunted us down—!"
But Lucius froze at a particular part in that sentence, staring at Narcissa like he wasn't sure if he was reading through the lines correctly. "What the hell do you mean, 'even if it wasn't ours'?" Narcissa was decidedly silent, not knowing what to say to him; she knew Bellatrix told her not to, but maybe… maybe if he just knew that he wasn't giving up his child, then maybe… "Are you carrying someone else's child?!" Lucius roared, looking positively murderous at the thought that someone else had violated his wife.
"No!" Narcissa exclaimed automatically, even though that wasn't true in the slightest. She tried to backtrack though with the frantic explanation of, "Well, yes, but—but I swear to you, I wasn't unfaithful!" Another lie, but one she told often enough that she could make it sound true. "The child isn't mine either," Narcissa told him, desperately grasping onto Lucius' hands. She needed him to understand that this wasn't what he thought. "It's neither of ours, I'm just—it's just inside of me, and so we only have to—"
"What…?" Lucius asked, now looking more perplexed than anything else. He still looked angry of course, as he no doubt rightfully should, but at the moment he didn't seem to be able to make heads or tails of what Narcissa was telling him. Untangling his hands from his wife's, Lucius took a step backwards and asked, "What are you talking about? Are you… surrogating for someone, or… or what the hell are you—?!"
"It's… complicated," Narcissa tried, not really knowing how to explain it. She was desperate to though, needing Lucius to understand that she wasn't sacrificing their child. It was the only comfort she could give him in that moment. "Bella, she— she wanted to help, so she… she did this spell, so that instead of giving the Dark Lord our child, I would be giving birth to her—"
But that was all Lucius heard. Once he heard Bellatrix's name being thrown into all of this, he could see past nothing else. He stepped away from her, his expression hard and his lips pursed into a thin line. "You're… you mean to tell me that you're carrying your sister's child right now?" His tone was laced with an accusation that sounded almost dangerous with his barely contained fury, and Narcissa felt herself shrink a bit in the wake of her husband's untethered rage.
She said nothing, but apparently that spoke volumes.
"That… that sick fucking bitch," Lucius breathed, positively enraged. He was breathing heavily, his entire body tense and ready for a fight he clearly intended on having. "—I'm going to kill her." And with that he disapparated, leaving Narcissa in the middle of the nursery with nothing but her guilt and crippling anxiety before she desperately followed suit, knowing exactly where Lucius was heading. She didn't even bother getting dressed, but it didn't matter because the front door to Bellatrix's house was already wide open anyway, allowing Narcissa to steal inside before the rest of the world saw her in her negligée.
"—You impregnated my wife?" Lucius roared just as Narcissa rushed in after him, past the confused house elf (number three, was it now?) that had let them both inside. Narcissa found her husband in the parlor facing Bellatrix and, unfortunately, Rodolphus as well, who suddenly began laughing so hard at the information he had just been given that he nearly fell off his damn chair.
Everyone stared at him. Bellatrix looked positively murderous, Narcissa looked like she was about to be ill, and Lucius… well, Lucius just looked utterly perplexed by the man's reaction.
"You think this is funny?" Lucius furiously exclaimed, looking at his brother-in-law with a disbelieving expression. Apparently, he always figured that Rodolphus would be on his side. Whatever this was though, this wasn't Rodolphus taking sides; this was just him… laughing.
He looked like Christmas had come early, and that terrified Narcissa. The man might not be able to explicitly say anything to Lucius, but he already knew far too much. Apparently, to him this situation looked like somewhat of an opening, and that in no way boded well for the two former Blacks.
"First of all, you," Bellatrix warned, pointing at her husband, "need to shut your mouth; this doesn't concern you. And you," she continued, her finger now trained on Lucius as she stood from her chair, no doubt needing to be at level height with the man who had stormed into her house to shout at her, "do yourself a favor and take a sodding breath before you pop an aneurism in the middle of my bloody parlor; you have no idea what you're screaming about because believe me, if you did, you would be thanking me right about now."
Lucius' entire face went red with anger at that, but Bellatrix ignored him and trained her gaze on Narcissa instead. Briefly looking her up and down before exhaling an irritated breath, Bellatrix snapped her fingers; the house elf apparated at her side instantly. "And you, elf… get my sister a robe so she's not practically flashing all of us during this conversation, would you?"
Her eyebrow quirked and Narcissa flushed as everyone's gaze turned towards her. It wasn't as though her negligée was terribly risqué by any means – it did cover her breasts, after all – but the rest of it was fairly sheer, and her thinly cut panties were very visible underneath the fabric. Narcissa tried to cover herself as best she could with her hands as her sister gave her a look of utter irritation; apparently, Bellatrix had decided to blame her for accidentally parading her sex life with Lucius in front of her face or something, as though she had done this on purpose.
"Had fun last night, did you?" Bellatrix deadpanned, which made Narcissa shoot her a disbelieving look. What, did she honestly think that she ran out of her house in indecent attire just to make her jealous? Her cheeks were splotchy and her eyes were red and, God damnit, she felt like she was falling apart and this was the conversation they were having right now?!
"Really? Of all the things to focus on right now, and you choose that?" Narcissa seethed, infuriated that that's what her sister deemed important in this moment. But she didn't have much time to dwell on it though as, thankfully, the elf returned fairly quickly, bearing a robe. Narcissa snatched up immediately. "Thank you," she said to the creature as she pulled it around her less-than-appropriate wardrobe choice for this little outing. The house elf grinned at her, happy to be of service, before disapparating with another crack.
"You are sick," Lucius seethed, pointing towards Bellatrix, apparently determined not to be swayed by any conversational distractions. "Don't think I don't know why you did this—"
"To save you and my sister from any emotional trauma?" Bellatrix snapped, interrupted him. "Yes, and generally that warrants a 'thank you'. Or, I'm sorry, did you want to sacrifice your first born? Because I'm confused here, Lucius." Lucius' lips pursed into a thin line, but he said nothing; perhaps not having an argument for that, yet not wanting this to be the solution to their problem all the same. "If you really wanted to kill your own kid that badly then go right the fuck ahead and abort mine so you can stick your own doomed fetus inside of her," Bellatrix finished, quirking an irritated eyebrow as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Doesn't bother me any."
The amount of sarcasm dripping off every word made Narcissa cringe, but it made Rodolphus' eyes widen as he realized what they were speaking about. "You promised your child to the Dark Lord?" he breathed, looking surprised beyond measure that they, of all people, would do such a thing. But then he looked towards his wife, realizing what else that meant, and for the first time in a long time he looked almost happy as he finished, "And you plan to defy him, don't you…?"
Bellatrix's wand was out and pointed at him before Rodolphus even had a chance to move. Her husband made a strangled choking sound as he seemed to be almost lifted off his feet by whatever nonverbal spell Bellatrix had thrown at him, and her eyes were almost black as she approached him. "Don't make me make you take another Vow, Rodolphus, because a few more and you'll be getting to the point where you can't even utter a singular sound without the fear of dying where you stand."
"You fuck me, you fuck all of us," Bellatrix harshly reminded him. Rodolphus responded with another strangled choking sound, grasping desperately at the invisible ropes around his own neck. "And I don't think even innocent little Cissy would let you live for such a betrayal. Besides, no one would believe how I truly achieved this anyhow; I've resurrected a dead art, triumphed where many in this day and age have failed… so unless you want me to name you as that child's father, I suggest that you—"
"Wait a second, he's not?" Lucius asked, apparently having already reached the conclusion that they were all in on this together. He was quickly finding out that was not the case, however. "Then who the bloody hell did you use?!"
"Nobody!" Bellatrix snapped, before her eyes fell on Narcissa and she continued, "Jesus, Cissy; if you were going to open your fat mouth and fuck us all, the least you could have done is tell him the whole story."
"It isn't as though he gave me much of a chance!" Narcissa exclaimed, not fond of getting blamed for that. "The second he heard your name in all of this, he rushed over here! Believe me, this wasn't what I sodding wanted, alright?" More choking sounds came from the man being held by the spell then, and Narcissa, impatient, practically stomped her foot before she shouted, "And for Christ's sake, will you please let Rodolphus go before you kill him?!"
Bellatrix rolled her eyes at her attitude, but with one flick of her wand the man crumpled into a ball on the floor, coughing as he struggled to breathe. "You act like that would be some kind of loss."
"It would raise questions, you simpleminded prat," Narcissa snapped, infuriated and upset and everything in between. Gesturing wildly with one hand at the four inhabitants in the room, the blonde finished pointedly, "And the last thing any of us need right now is your precious little Lord snooping around our business!"
That, at least, rendered Bellatrix temporarily silent. She knew she was right. Unfortunately though, so did Rodolphus, who laughed weakly from his position on the floor. "You hear that, you mad bimbo? Even your leash-bearer says you can't kill me…"
Panic struck Narcissa then, realizing she inadvertently gave Rodolphus a reason to betray them; after all, if he felt safe, then he had no reason to keep his mouth shut about all of this. And so without thought, Narcissa immediately looked dead at her sister and instructed, "—Torture him."
Bellatrix's expression broke out in a large grin, looking like she had just been given the world's greatest gift. She wasted no time throwing the Cruciatus Curse at him and as Rodolphus screamed in pain, Lucius grasped onto his wife's arm, looking absolutely flabbergasted by Narcissa's unhesitant cruelty. "Narcissa!"
"Do you understand what will happen if he tells the Dark Lord what we've done?!" Narcissa frantically shouted, rounding on her husband as she ripped her arm out of his grasp. "He'll kill us all! Look at what happened to Gwendolyn, Lucius; look at what happens to those who betray him! We need to force Rodolphus to take the Unbreakable Vow, or else—"
"You… idiotic child…" Rodolphus struggled to breathe once the curse had momentarily ended. He sounded weak, out of breath, yet he seemed to have been getting rather used to his wife's curses, as he did not collapse onto the floor in pain and exhaustion. "Bellatrix is… my sodding responsibility. Whatever she… whatever the bloody hell she did… it's on me as well…!"
Narcissa's head snapped up to look at her sister, who just rolled her eyes a bit and shrugged. Apparently, a part of her agreed with Rodolphus' deduction, but it was clear she'd much rather torture him instead. "It's… possible that He'd blame Rodolphus as well," she admitted, although sounded loathed to do so. "Still, we shouldn't leave anything to chance, Cissy—"
"Of course… of course he'd bloody blame me!" Rodolphus spat, looking infuriated at being subjected to yet another round of torture from his wife as he tried to hoist himself off the floor. His arms shook, but he was managing. "I'm… I am your husband; whatever you've done, you've fucked me to!"
"Now…" he panted, getting to his feet before he rounded on his wife. "Do me a bloody favor, and stop trying to make me take the Unbreakable sodding Vow for every goddamn secret that I know about you. Just fucking tell Lucius and I what the bloody hell you both have done, so maybe we can find a way to fix whatever idiotic thing you both managed to screw up this time!"
"I screwed up nothing—!"
Bellatrix was interrupted however. Since this was the second time the previous Unbreakable Vow had been mentioned, Lucius seemed to actually process the information this time and turned towards Rodolphus as he demanded, "Wait, she's forced you under a Vow before? What the bloody hell for?"
His gaze shifted to Narcissa then, no doubt thinking things he was supposed to have let go a long time ago. Narcissa paled, but Bellatrix just looked infuriated by the interruption. God, why did they not include in the terms of the Vow that Rodolphus couldn't mention that he was under one?! It was foolish of them not to think of something like that before a situation like this came to pass.
Rodolphus however, just looked at Lucius like he had to be thick for asking that kind of question. "Well I can't bloody tell you that, now can I, mate?"
Lucius looked a little perturbed by his attitude, but seemed to realize his question was rather stupid before he rounded on his wife. "What the hell has been going on in this family that I don't know about?!"
"I don't know!" Narcissa exclaimed, hoping she didn't look as panicked as she felt. "Whatever they're talking about, that's between my sister and her husband; it isn't any of our business, and it certainly doesn't have anything to do with why we're all here right now, so could we please focus for a moment?! This is serious!"
"Yes, I'd say the fact that your psychotically possessive sister managed to find a way to knock you up is very serious," Lucius snapped, at least letting the Unbreakable Vow thing go for now as his hatred and rage pointed back towards Bellatrix. "How can you not see that she only did this so she could have that part of you first? She's sick, Narcissa; this whole thing is sick!"
"What?" Narcissa exclaimed, looking at Lucius like he had to be joking, despite knowing that, on some level, it might be partially true. In the end though, that wasn't the most important factor here. "This isn't some kind of… fucked up competition, Lucius! Bellatrix was trying to help—!"
"Is no one else still wondering who the hell the father of this bloody kid is, because I feel like we're overlooking a very large issue here," Rodolphus snapped, looking infuriated that they all weren't focusing on what he deemed to be the most important problem at the moment. "If a third party knows about what you two idiots have done—"
"Will all of you just shut up?!" Bellatrix shouted, looking enraged by everyone practically shouting over one another. "I already said there isn't one, now be quiet so Cissy and I can explain, will you?!"
"What the hell do you mean, 'there isn't one'?" Rodolphus interjected, of course not listening to his wife's request for silence. "Perhaps basic biology escapes you, Bellatrix, but even you should realize that you need both a man and a woman to procreate."
"Not if you're me."
Rodolphus snorted. "What, did you suddenly grow a cock when I wasn't looking?"
Bellatrix outright laughed at that. "Don't act like you even have the pleasure of looking lately, Rodolphus; you wouldn't know what I have down there anyway." The man's ears grew red at that as he glared at her, apparently not fond of Bellatrix outing the fact that they don't even have sex anymore to Lucius, apparently not realizing that Narcissa's husband already knew his sister-in-law was a lesbian. Narcissa just looked disbelievingly at them both however, hardly able to believe that they were actually having this kind of conversation right now.
"Blood magic, okay?!" Narcissa practically shouted, since apparently Bellatrix would rather goad her husband than actually inform him of anything useful. "She… she used Blood Magic; that's how this child was conceived."
Silence.
…And then all hell broke loose.
"You did what?" Lucius roared, looking positively murderous that Bellatrix would ever do something of that caliber to his wife. At the very same time however, Rodolphus practically shoved his wife as he shouted, "Have you gone completely mental? No one's used Blood Magic for centuries, Bellatrix! We don't toy with forces like that for a bloody reason; what the hell are you trying to do?"
"Get your hands off me, lest you wish for me to remove them from your body permanently!" Bellatrix snapped, wrenching away from her husband as she shot him a look of utmost loathing. "And perhaps simple-minded cretins like yourselves don't, but I'm very well-versed in the subject. Do you honestly think I would put my sister at risk like that if I wasn't? It's perfectly safe, and as you can see, Narcissa is fine."
"You… idiot woman," Rodolphus spat. "She may be fine, but the same can't be said for whatever child you put inside of her! What if the thing comes out deformed or, Christ, even soulless? Blood Magic is dangerous, and much darker than anything we usually dabble in, Bellatrix!"
Narcissa blanched as she instinctively cradled her stomach. She hadn't known those kinds of risks were involved but then again, she wasn't surprised that Bellatrix hadn't told her; it seemed she had kept quite a lot about this ritual hidden from her.
Bellatrix, however, just looked bored by the accusations thrown at her. "Well if it does, then it would be a good thing that it was being offered up as a sacrifice, would it not? Honestly, it's like neither of you think sometimes."
"You may have put something soulless and evil inside of my wife, and you think we're the ones with a head not attached to our shoulders?!" Lucius shouted, looking as though he would like nothing more than to rip Bellatrix's head from her shoulders. "You know as well as I what the Dark Lord is doing with those children! What do you think's going to happen if he realizes it doesn't have a soul?!"
Narcissa, who was about four seconds from emptying her stomach all over the floor, suddenly looked up at her husband sharply, the sickness all but forgotten. "What?" she demanded, grasping onto Lucius' robes. "Lucius, what is he doing with the children?!"
She hadn't thought he had known. She hadn't thought any of them knew. But now Bellatrix stood there, her lips pursed into a thin line as she realized Lucius had a point, and Narcissa felt like she couldn't breathe. Why hadn't she told her what would happen?!
"…That's not going to happen," Bellatrix told him strongly, not even sparing her sister a glance. "I did everything right; the child will be fine."
"You better hope so," Rodolphus responded darkly, suddenly looking awfully concerned about the outcome of all of this; not just for their sake, but for his own. "Or it's all of our heads."
"I'm not an idiot, Rodolphus; I know the basic rules of magic!" Bellatrix snapped, infuriated with having her abilities being questioned. "I traded one soul for the creation of another; the balance has been kept, that thing inside of her will be fine, so let it lie!"
"You— who?" Rodolphus demanded, apparently worried that he would have to clean up yet another one of his wife's messes.
Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "Some Order wanker; it's unimportant. No one will ever find his body."
Narcissa, however, was barely listening to them. "Lucius, tell me what happens to the children!" The blonde hit her husband's shoulder as hard as she could, demanding answers that she knew she would not be given. Out of her peripheral, Narcissa saw her sister shake her head.
"Don't," she warned him. "You know as well as I that she won't be able to handle it right now."
"That's not for you to decide!" Narcissa shrieked, rounding on her sister. "I deserve to know what's going to happen to my baby—!"
"Thought it wasn't your baby," Rodolphus interjected, shooting a look at Narcissa like he knew something that she didn't. Narcissa faulted for a moment at the truth in that statement, but before she could respond, Bellatrix was already speaking.
"It's not," she snapped, before rounding on her sister. "It's mine, and mine alone. Therefore, I forbid you to know the fate of it, because it doesn't even bloody matter—"
"Bullshit," Rodolphus interrupted. "You're really sticking to the story that this child has no other parent? What, are you claiming you cloned yourself now?" He laughed like that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard, and Bellatrix glowered.
"That is exactly what I—"
"Cloning isn't possible, you deluded wench!"
"You don't fucking know what is or isn't possible!" Bellatrix shouted, infuriated at being questioned. "What do you know about Blood Magic, Rodolphus? You probably couldn't even read the script it's in!"
"Enough, both of you!" Lucius shouted, fed up with their bickering. "Bellatrix, despite my hesitancy to believe anything that you say, I am aware that if you were just using my wife as a surrogate, there would have been much easier ways to do so. And in all honesty, so long as this… this abomination has no part of my wife and I; I really do not care anymore how it came to be. It'll serve its purpose, and that's enough."
Narcissa looked aghast by Lucius' uncaring attitude towards this child; in a way, it was as though he didn't even believe it to be human. Blood Magic or not though, Narcissa… she knew that it was; she could feel it inside of her, and it wasn't something dark, it wasn't something evil. It was alive, and it was human, and Lucius acting as though it was nothing but a means to an end devastated her.
But how could he ever understand that? And even if he did, how could he ever accept that? Narcissa was beginning to wonder if this was Lucius' own way of coping with all of this; distancing himself from the reality of it all, and painting the child out to be nothing more than some kind of demon who should be killed for the good of society anyhow.
Bellatrix quirked an eyebrow at Lucius though, realizing that despite everything, there was a part of him that was finally accepting the fact that this was happening; and that, perhaps, in the end, this really was the best route to take. "I take it you're done shouting at me over this then? Honestly, why you still refuse to believe that I have Narcissa's best interests at heart, I'll never understand."
Lucius' expression darkened as he looked at his sister-in-law. "Your half-cocked solution to this may be saving us from sacrificing our own child, but I am nowhere near thanking you for it," he told her, his tone harsh and expression hard. "What you did was not only reckless, but dangerous. Despite your assurances that everything will be fine, we have no idea what's going to come out of Narcissa now, and that's on you.And instead of talking to me about it, either of you," he amended, now turning to glare at his wife who looked away, ashamed and guilty, "you took it upon yourselves to find a solution to a problem that I had every right to know about first!"
"And don't you sodding think for a moment that I don't know why you didn't come to me before you did this," Lucius continued, although he was only looking at Bellatrix this time; accusing her, blaming her. "Don't you ever fucking think that I don't know that a part of you just loves the fact that Narcissa's having your child—"
"Lucius!" Narcissa protested, trying to sound infuriated that he was bringing this shit up again, but she felt too guilty and ashamed of herself that it barely had any strength behind it.
"No!" Lucius shouted, looking at his wife while he furiously pointed at the woman across the room. "Stop bloody protecting her! I am not stupid, and I'm certainly not blind! The way she looks at you isn't normal, Narcissa, and despite what you'd like me to believe, it hasn't stopped ever since she got her 'sanity' back, so your bloody little excuses for her aren't—!"
"I told you to drop this!" Narcissa practically shrieked, shoving him hard with both of her hands. She was breathing heavily, but thankfully her panic just looked like anger. "That wasn't a bloody suggestion, so unless you'd like to lose everything that we—!"
"You sold our child and lied to me about it for six years, Narcissa; don't you dare threaten me right now!" Lucius bellowed, and suddenly it was as though the blonde woman's voice had completely left her as she practically choked on the words in her throat. Tears welled up in her eyes at the reality that, despite Lucius' tentative agreement to this plan, he was far from forgiving her for this betrayal, and Narcissa couldn't find it within herself to argue with him. She didn't deserve to, not after what she had done.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Bellatrix seethed, fed up with the accusations herself. So much, it seemed, that it caused her to do something incredibly stupid. "Fine, would you like the truth?" she snapped, marching right up into Lucius' personal space as she stared him down, unblinking. "If Narcissa wasn't my sister, I would absolutely fuck her."
Narcissa's hand went to her mouth as she gasped, hoping beyond anything that she had just hallucinated what her sister had just said to her husband. Lucius however, looked like he had just choked on his own breath at the bluntness of that statement, while Rodolphus' eyes bugged out of his skull, apparently not expecting Bellatrix to ever admit to something like that; especially not after she had forced him to take the Unbreakable Vow.
The worst of it though, was that Bellatrix wasn't finished. "I'd make her come in ways she could never even imagine, and in ways I know an unimaginative little simpleton like you would never be able to achieve," she hissed, her eyes blackening with challenge as she looked up at him. "You could never hold a candle to what I could make her feel, Lucius. Believe me on that."
"But she is my sister," Bellatrix continued, before anyone could get out a word edgewise. To be fair though, the lot of them were still in a state of shock from her admission. "And despite whatever you may believe about me, despite all the fucked up things I may desire, I will not touch her because of that. I love Narcissa more than anything in the world. She saved my life, do you understand that? I would never force myself on her; I'd fucking kill myself first."
"You're…" Lucius began, looking almost flabbergasted by the confirmation of what he had suspected, but never believed would be confirmed. For a moment there, Narcissa thought he was going to call her sick, or deranged, or something, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was, "Oh my god, you're… you're fucking in love with her."
Narcissa's choked back a sob as her eyes began to well up with tears, looking at her sister with this helpless expression that screamed, 'why are you doing this?!' She might not be admitting the whole truth, but she was admitting enough to damage them. But Bellatrix wouldn't even spare her a glance; instead she continued to look directly at Lucius as she admitted in a rather flat sounding voice, "…Yes."
"Bella, stop!" Narcissa begged, tears spilling down her cheeks as she tried to grasp for her sister. "Stop it, why are you doing this?! He's never going to allow me to see you again if you—!"
"I'll stop seeing you when you tell me to stop, not when someone else does," Bellatrix responded, her eyes hard as she continued to stare at Lucius in challenge. The man didn't really seem to be able to speak though; he kept opening his mouth and closing it, unable to figure out how he was supposed to react to something like that. Bellatrix quirked an eyebrow at him.
"So are you happy now?" she asked, her jaw tensing as she continued to stare up at him. "There's the bloody truth for you. I'm fucked up; congratulations on figuring out something that was blaringly obvious anyhow. But in case you seemed to miss the entire point of all of this, tell me Lucius, since you know how it feels to be in love as well, would you ever hurt the person you care that deeply for?" Lucius said nothing, but he didn't have to. They both knew the answer to that question anyhow. "Well neither would I."
Lucius released a breath he seemed to have been holding then, looking at Bellatrix like he couldn't believe that this actually happened. "You… Jesus Christ, you're so…" But it seemed Lucius couldn't come up with a word adequate enough to express how disgusted he was by her, especially when it seemed like Bellatrix already acknowledged that she knew there was something wrong with her for it. It probably seemed pointless, and so Lucius turned his attention to his wife and asked, "You knew about this?"
"Of course she bloody knew," Bellatrix snapped, like he had to be thick to ever believe otherwise. "What, do you think I've never propositioned her? Please."
Lucius' eyes went wide at that, and Narcissa's mouth dropped open as she protested, "Bella!" God, what was she doing? Bellatrix must believe that telling him all this would somehow help, but right then she couldn't, for the life of her, figure out what her sister's angle was.
"But she said no," Bellatrix continued, her eyes still trained on Lucius as she lied to his face; at least about that aspect of it, anyhow. "She said no, and I dropped it. As I said before, I love her far too much to ever hurt her, and so if she doesn't want me, then I'm not going to force her to have me. You can think anything you want about me, Lucius; you can think I'm disgusting and unnatural and you know what? Maybe you're right about that; but don't you ever believe for a second that I would do something Narcissa didn't want me to. She's safe with me; she's always been safe with me."
Lucius didn't seem to know how to dispute that, as no matter what else he seemed to think about this, he could still hear the passion and truth behind Bellatrix's words. In the end, a part of him seemed to realize that regardless of how screwed up all of this was, Bellatrix would never do something that Narcissa didn't consent to. The thing of it was though, she already had; everything that Bellatrix had offered her, everything that she admitted to wanting to do to her little sister… had already come to pass. Apparently however, Bellatrix didn't want him to know that; it was as though she was falling on some kind of proverbial sword for her, putting all the attention on how she looked at Narcissa, so that Lucius would never think to look at how Narcissa looked at her in kind.
"…You're awfully quiet about all of this," Lucius said instead, his voice flat and rather lifeless as he stared past Bellatrix to look at her husband. Rodolphus was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest with a rather sour look on his face; no doubt he believed with the way this conversation was going that he'd be released from his Vow – at least in front of Lucius – but unfortunately for him, he still knew the absolute truth of it all, whereas Lucius only knew a sliver. In the end, it still forced Rodolphus to hold his silence on his true opinion on the matter, and he was clearly unhappy about that.
"Why do you think?" Rodolphus asked flatly, his eyebrow rising as Lucius seemed to put the pieces together.
"Shit," he breathed. "That's what she Vowed you to silence about? You knew she was in love with Narcissa." Lucius exhaled a hard breath, looking completely overwhelmed by all of this as he tangled his fingers in his hair, tensing his jaw and shaking his head. He was still angry, that much was obvious, but it seemed he didn't even know what to do with that anger anymore.
"Lucius…" Narcissa tried softly, reaching out to him. She had to say something, she had to do something. She didn't want to lose her husband over this. "This doesn't… all of this, it changes nothing, alright? I've known how she's felt about me for years, but she's still my sister, and she still treats me as such. She's never—" But Lucius just wrenched his arm away from her touch and stepped away from her, causing Narcissa's face to fall as the words died in the back of her throat.
"I don't want to hear your side of this right now, Narcissa," he told her, voice hard and unforgiving. "I don't even know why I'm surprised you lied to me about this, when you apparently have been lying to my face for more than half of our relationship. Right now, I don't even know what to believe anymore."
Narcissa's throat tightened and she let out a helpless sounding sob at those words, but Lucius barely spared her a glance as he pursed his lips and continued to back away from her. "Forget it. I'm not doing this right now, I can't even—" Lucius shook his head, too astounded by all of this to even finish his sentence.
"We'll speak about this later," he told her instead, a note of finality in his voice. It was obvious that Lucius didn't know how to react to any of this, and needed some time in order to take it all in. Between this revelation and the truth behind the child Narcissa was carrying, it seemed to be far too much for him to process at the moment. "That is, if you even care to come home."
"Lucius—!" Narcissa tried desperately, but her husband was already gone, disapparating from the parlor with a loud crack. Narcissa put her head in her hands, tears running down her cheeks as she tried to convince herself that no matter how angry Lucius was, that he would never leave her for this. He loved her. He had to.
Bellatrix's hands touched her waist then, no doubt just trying to comfort her, but Narcissa practically elbowed her as she pushed the older woman off of her, turning around as she demanded in a choked voice, "—Why?"
Why did she do this? How could she do this?
"Because the best way to lie to someone is to give them part of the truth," Bellatrix answered softly, at least understanding that she had very much upset her sister by doing something like that. She seemed to have her reasons though, as she didn't look at all guilty for what she had done. Instead, Bellatrix just patiently explained, "He wasn't going to stop, Cissy. No matter how guilty you made him feel, no matter how afraid you tried to make him by threatening to leave or whatever it was that you were trying to do to keep him in line, he wasn't going to stop thinking those things. And now that you've done something far worse than he has, he doesn't have to listen to you anymore when you tell him to stop, and you both know it."
Narcissa stayed silent; she knew Bellatrix was right, as they clearly just demonstrated that not ten minutes prior, but still. She didn't have to tell him that—
"Lucius has always wanted to villainize me," Bellatrix told her, her expression darkening a bit at the truth in that statement. "He always wanted to think that it was all me and not you, so I told him that it was. In the end, that's all he needs to know. He'll believe it, because he already thought it. If you tell someone everything they want to hear, they'll never go searching for any other answers."
"Not everything," Narcissa breathed sadly, because she knew what Lucius would have preferred. "He'd want a reason to keep me away from you, but you… you kept saying that you'd never hurt me, and—"
"Believe me, Cissy, it was enough," Bellatrix assured her, wiping a fallen tear from the blonde's cheek with her thumb. "If I handed him absolutely everything he wanted on a silver platter, he would have suspected something. After all, when something is too good to be true, then it probably is. Besides, the last thing I want is for him to think he's justified in taking you from me."
Narcissa pursed her lips, nodding her head in acknowledgement of her sister's words as more tears slipped down her cheeks. She understood Bellatrix's point, and it made a lot of sense on paper, but Narcissa was still afraid because Bellatrix had done something that she could never undo, and if she wasn't right, then they both were going to pay the price for it.
"Just go home," Bellatrix encouraged softly, placing a gentle kiss on her sister's brow as she smoothed out her hair. "He'll be angry, but it won't last. In the end, he'll realize he can't fault you for the things that I feel, since as far as he knows, you don't feel the same. Okay? It'll be fine, I swear on my life."
Her life. Apt, considering what it was that she was gambling with.
"You both…" Rodolphus drawled, looking disgusted by them as he pushed himself off of the far wall. Narcissa had actually forgotten he was there, and actually started at the sound of his voice. "Are the most manipulative cunts I have ever had the displeasure of meeting."
Bellatrix looked infuriated by his assessment, but as she reached for her wand, Narcissa stopped her with a hand on her arm and a soft, "—Don't." Bellatrix stopped, but her lips were still pursed into a thin line as she glared at her husband, who in turn was looking at the two sisters like they were dirt. Perhaps they were.
"He's right," Narcissa breathed, feeling sick with herself; for this, for everything. "He's right… we are."
But in the end though, knowing what they were doing was wrong changed nothing, and all three of them knew that it never would.
TBC…