Secret
It wasn't until Percy was walking up the stairs to her flat that he realized exactly what he was getting himself into. There was, after all, a fair chance that she would slam the door right in his face. But it was a chance he would have to take. He found himself standing in front of her door, more nervous than he would have liked to be. Percy gulped, took a deep breath, and knocked on her door. But it wasn't Audrey who opened it. It was another woman. She had long dark curls and held a bottle of wine in one hand. Her deep brown eyes stared at him as if she were trying to shoot daggers into his head.
"Can I help you?" The woman asked coldly.
"Is Audrey home?"
"Yes. But you're mad if you think you're getting her back now."
"I just want to speak with her!" Percy retorted.
"Sure you do."
"Look! I don't know why you think you can boss around a grown woman but…"
"What's going on?" Audrey interrupted him, coming to stand next to her friend. Her face fell for a moment when she saw Percy, but then she quickly set her jaw and put her shoulders back. "What are you doing here?" She asked hollowly.
"I was hoping I could speak to you for a while."
"Why didn't you just send another owl then?" Audrey's friend deadpanned.
"Fiona, come on." She sighed. "Do you really want to talk Percy?"
"Yes I do." He nodded.
"Fine." Audrey turned to Fiona.
"I guess this is my cue to leave then." She shrugged and took her coat and bag from the chair. Turning to Percy on her way out, Fiona looked at him steadily. "Don't fuck this up again." His jaw dropped a little, but by the time he turned to respond, she was down the stairs and out onto the street. Audrey closed the door behind them and must have noticed Percy's vacant expression.
"Yes, Fiona's a little intense. But she was kind of in her right you know."
"Audrey, I am so sorry. I know I hurt you and I feel terrible. You deserve better."
"You're right, I do." There was an awkward, tense pause before she spoke again. "So is that all you came here to tell me?"
Was it? Percy didn't know. Was it too soon to tell her about everything that had happened? Would it scare her away? There was only one way to find out.
"No."
"No? What else is there then?" Audrey's face read anxious anticipation.
"Many, many things." He ran a hand through his hair and looked at the floorboards.
"Oh. Is this a sitting-down kind of conversation?" She asked, her tone softening to his relief.
"I'm afraid so." They exchanged weak smiles and walked over to the sofa where he told her everything. He told her about walking out on his family and that first year when he wanted to go home so many times. He told her about going back that Christmas and feeling like a stranger, and about spending another painful year away from his family before going back to fight in the final battle. None of it was easy for Percy to talk about. He didn't expect for it to be, but then again he didn't know what to expect. This was the first time had had talked about all of this to anyone on such a deep level. He was relieved that he kept his emotions under control. That is, until he started to talk about Fred. With eyes that were becoming increasingly wet, he looked over at Audrey. Her mouth was slightly agape with surprised concern, her eyes sad. She squeezed his hand and held it, remaining silent until he had nothing left to say.
"God Percy." Audrey was nearly whispering. "I had no idea. I'm so sorry." He sighed raggedly and opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but his face crumpled and he hung his head down, shoulders heaving. Audrey wrapped her arms around him until he stopped crying.
"Sorry." Percy hastily wiped his eyes.
"There's no need to apologize." She held his hand again and sighed. "It sounds like it's been hard."
"It has been." A few more tears slipped from his eyes. "I don't particularly like talking about it."
"I don't blame you." Audrey inched closer to him and he saw her eyes looking suspiciously bright. "But I still can't imagine how you kept all this a secret." Percy shook his head and swallowed hard.
"I guess I was just trying to spare you all the drama. I thought that if you knew about everything that was happening, you'd leave."
"So you tried to beat me to it then?" He nodded weakly.
"For God's sake Percy, I like you far too much do to that."
"Really?"
"I like you so much, I had to make my insane friend come over after you broke up with me just to keep me from drinking alone all night." Percy laughed a little, and she took his other hand.
"I like you too. Thank you for being so understanding." She smiled.
"Come here."
Audrey pulled him into a warm hug. He was feeling relieved, to say the least, like a huge weight had been lifted, the one that breaking up with her was supposed to lift. Maybe, he thought, amidst all the chaos and tragedy, Audrey might actually fit somewhere into his life. For now though, she fit quite nicely into his arms.