Chapter Thirteen "One Life For Another."

Rated: R

Warning: Heated Moments, Cursing, Violence, and MAYBE a couple lemons…

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The people who work and make Fullmetal Alchemist own it.

(Sequel to Confessions of a Brigadier General)

Numbness, pain, loss. That's all he could feel as he sat down under the tree by their lakeside home. The wind was blowing softly, and the world was still turning. But he had lost a child, and for him, everything had stopped.

He'd lost a grandchild along with her, and he felt as if he hadn't paid very much attention to her the last few months due to her teenage pregnancy. He put his head in his hands, his vision blurring as he heard a distant rumble of thunder despite the sunshine. His oldest daughter was gone, and he felt like he hadn't known her at all. He didn't even get a chance to say goodbye or anything.

His heart tore, and his head pounded with guilt. The thunder was fast becoming more pronounced, and he could smell rain in the air. Yet he refused to move, after all, his world has stopped.

She was shattered, and hurt. Joy hadn't been her biological daughter, but they had grown close enough to act like it. She put Elicia, the twins, and Will to bed. They told her they didn't feel like eating, and she didn't blame them. They had lost a sister, a companion. Their cheeks were stained with tears, and they were tired.

After she put them in bed she went out side and sat down on swing in her garden, and cried. She too, heard the thunder, but ignored it. She was angry, and hurt. What right did any god up in the heavens have to take a child of hers away? 'None whatsoever.' She thought bitterly.

After she cried all she could, she went inside. And by the time she reached her bedroom, it was pouring rain outside. She stripped her clothes off and slipped into a satin nightgown, in the color of black with a matching robe. She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes, feeling quite exhausted.

Life must go on, something his mother had told him when he first found out about death. Something he repeated to himself when Maes died, and now when his first daughter was dead. All he could hear was the preacher talking, and girls crying. He saw men looking sad, kids looking scared. The entire country seemed to be in mourning.

Riza stood quietly beside him, dressed in a modest black dress, with black heels and stockings. Her hat was black, as was it's small veil to cover her eyes. And her tissue was black as well with lace around the edges. She looked like every woman should in her position. Riza was the first lady, and the mother yet not the mother of his dead daughter.

He quietly laid a rose on Joy's grave and turned around, feeling empty. His family followed him quietly, and looked just as miserable as everyone else. By the time they reached their house it was raining again, and Amaya, Eve and the others were there for a private dinner. Amaya and Eve insisted on doing everything while Riza comforted her husband. Riza of course, had been planning to do so all along, she just had to get the right words in her head.

"Roy…" her voice was soft as she touched his shoulder lightly. He turned to the side to look at her. Her eyes saddened as she saw that his eyes were filled with the same pain as when Maes had died. She wrapped her arms around him, and embraced him tightly. "It's okay to cry, I'm the only one here." She whispered, though she could already feel tears seeping into her top. It was a silent crying jag. Roy never sobbed, he just let the tears fall. Riza liked to think of it as a manly cry. And this was the second he'd ever cried since he was ten.

"I'm sorry she left us. But it was her time. Somebody up there has a special plan for her wherever she is now. She wouldn't want us to grieve forever." Riza said lightly, kissing his cheek. He pulled back slightly too look at her, wiping his eyes quickly and looking annoyed with himself.

"I know…I just feel like I didn't spend enough time with her the past few months, I didn't even get to say goodbye or tell her that I love her." He muttered, sitting heavily on the bed. She kneeled before him on the floor, putting her hands in her lap. "I'm sure she knew that her daddy loved her very much." Riza said quietly, looking down at her hands.

"She loved you too, Riza." Roy said, looking at his wife, and putting his hand under her chin. "I know." She said quietly, looking anywhere but at him. He took her hands and brought her into his lap. "She really did. You were a great mother to her." He said. "But I still can't help but feel that I failed her in some way." She answered him.

"That's guilt. It's affected us both, but she wouldn't want us to be like this." He murmured, lying back on the bed. She smiled at him, her eyes sad, but with rims of hope on the edges. "I love you…" she chuckled, kissing him softly. "Do you think she'd want us to have another baby?" he murmured against her lips, his hands sliding down to her sides.

"I do. She told me once that she did, that she wanted a bigger family." Riza said, closing her eyes as his hands slid up her shirt. "But dinner is almost ready downstairs…" her voice started to trail off. He smirked, and pulled her up into a sitting position.

"Then we'll make it a date. We'll go down to the river with a picnic and a bottle of your favorite wine, and we'll make a baby." He said, kissing her before he stood up and walked out of the room. She sat stunned for a couple minutes before she smiled, shaking her head as she followed him downstairs.

"Just remember to not give them too much of the candy or they'll be sick to their stomachs." Riza warned Eve as Roy pulled her out the door two weeks later. "Don't worry Riza, we got them taken care of." Alphonse said, smiling and waving bye to them as Roy jumped into the driver's side and drove off.

"You didn't have to be so eager. They must think I'm keeping you deprived of sex or something." Riza said, looking at him reproachfully. "You know you want it just as much as I do. We haven't had any in about two months." He said thoughtfully, taking a turn onto Main Street. She scoffed, looking out her window. "Unlike you my sweet darling husband, I can live without sex for as long as I choose." She said, crossing her legs.

"Oh really? Is that why you put on my favorite bra and panty set before we left the house, or not?" he teased, taking another turn on Maple drive. She flushed red for a minute then rolled her eyes. "No, I thought I'd just tempt you then give you nothing." She smiled, running a hand over his leg. He growled, "We're going to skip the damn picnic if you don't stop it."

She laughed as they started following the river to a well known deserted area that hardly anyone knew about anymore. It had a dirt trail leading to it, because it was concealed by a portion of the forest, and it had lovely flowers growing in it, and the river was clear as crystal in the spot. Complete and total privacy was theirs for at least two hours.

"See, you made it through the picnic, didn't you?" Riza teased 30 minutes later, sipping her tea. He smirked, lying back in the grass, listening to the river flow. "It's because I have excellent restraint." He bragged, still as arrogant as ever. Riza loved that arrogance though, it suited him. She set her drink down, and leaned over him. "I love you…" she whispered, her eyes bright.

"Not as much as I love you." He said, pushing some of her hair behind her ear. Her lips were an inch away from his, barely brushing against each other. She was tempting him, and he liked it very much. She made a small sound in her throat, letting her body touch his lightly. "You'll never tell me how much that is, exactly, will you?" she said, beginning to devour his lips slowly.

He closed his eyes, and wrapped his arms around her, heard her giggle. "I love you more than any romance can ever comprehend, does that work?" he said, flipping her so that she was on bottom and smiling up at him. "Yes." She answered simply, her arms laced around his neck as he kissed her with a lover's kiss. His hands moved slowly up her shirt, the rough palms ignited the old fire in her body again.

"Make love to me." She whispered softly as he broke the kiss, her eyes closed blissfully.

She paced back and forth in front of the bathroom sink at H.Q., nervously awaiting pregnancy test results. They'd been trying for three weeks since the picnic. To no avail. Then they had to wait another week for her 'time of the month' to pass before trying again. Not that she was getting sick of the sex or anything, because that was always great, but she was tired of pulling her hair out over negatives.

She looked at the clock on the wall and grabbed up the stick, only to throw it angrily in the trash can. "Another stupid NEGATIVE!" she yelled, kicking the trashcan and walking back towards the office, glaring at everyone she passed. She looked slightly pouty as she entered the room, striding to her desk and practically throwing herself in her chair.

"Another negative?" everyone asked in unison. She rolled her eyes and went back to her paperwork. "What do you think." She snapped. She sighed and started writing down things on a document, looking gloomy.

"I'll never get pregnant…" she muttered, putting the paper on top a neat stack and pulling the next one to her. "Don't say that…you two just have to keep trying." Eve said gently, reading through a book.

"It seems like we've been trying forever. And to no avail. Maybe someone up there just doesn't want us to have a baby." Riza mused, smiling wryly at her papers. "I'll get you pregnant, Riza. One way or another I will. I refuse to have an unhappy wife." Roy said, flashing her a smile.

"Gah, the cavities." Amaya and Edward muttered together. Alphonse snickered, and so did the others.

Riza yawned, pulling the covers up to her chest, scooting closer to her husband. "Sex never gets old with you." She smiled, looking extremely content as he held her close. He kissed her lips gently. "You'll be pregnant this time, I just know it. I know you want this baby, Riza." He whispered, looking sincere. She gave him a small smile, her eyes loosing their shine a bit. "I'll check a couple days from now. Right now I just wanna fall asleep with you." She said quietly.

She woke up the next morning, a Saturday, with the sunlight dancing across her face and Roy slumped over chest, looking happy. She gave a little giggle and ran her hands lightly over his back, kissing his hair. "Wake up, you silly man." She whispered, pushing his hair away from his face. "I have to give you a hair cut today, Mr. Fuhrer." She said, noticing how long it was getting again.

He let out a groan and hugged her closer. "Too tired." He muttered, yawning. She smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "Come on darling, it really is time to get up." She said, closing her own eyes again. "See you're tired to." She heard him say as he began to roll off her. "No I'm not. But you do need a haircut today." She said, opening her eyes again and sitting up. Roy stifled a yawn, and stretched.

"Come on Riza, let me sleep late." He begged, burrowing more under the covers. She gave him a look, and he smirked. "If I don't sleep late, neither do you." She said, taking his arm and pulling him up until he was an inch away from her face. "I like this wake up call." He said, kissing her lightly. Her nose twitched visibly and she snorted. "Don't get used to it. I'm going to take a shower. No following me. You should go wake the children." She said, pulling her satin robe on and walking towards their bathroom.

"Mommy, I wanted pancakes!" Caitlyn whined as Riza set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of her daughter. "Pancakes are for Sundays only, and you know that Caty." Riza said in a stern tone, giving her daughter a reprimanding look. "You know better than to whine." Roy walked in, buttoning the last button on his shirt. He was dressed in civilian clothes since it was his and Riza's day off.

Caitlyn pouted for a minute before eating her breakfast silently. "Mommy I don't like it when the sky is cloudy…it's cloudy out today, and that means I won't get to go play by the water and get more minnows." Jonathan said, already having cleared half his plate. "Now who said you don't get to play? You can go play outside as long as it doesn't start raining. When it starts raining you come inside." Riza said, refilling his juice glass.

"Dabooga." William said, munching on a bacon piece as he slapped his other hand in the eggs. "Uh…Uncle Roy? I was wondering if I could go stay the night at friend's house today…" Elicia said, looking up from her plate at her surrogate father. Ever since Joy's death she'd stopped calling Roy and Riza "mom and dad". "That's fine. Just don't go to any wild parties, and there better not be any boys either." Roy said, looking through his paper.

"I'm sure there won't be any boys." Riza said, giving Elicia a wink as she glided back to the kitchen. She came back out carrying a cup of coffee and set it down in front of Roy along with his breakfast plate. "Now you sit down." He said, glancing up from his paper for a second. She giggled and walked back towards the kitchen to get her own coffee and breakfast.

"You sure you'll be alright here while I go out with Amaya and Eve for the day?" Riza asked her husband as she hesitated at the door. "Of course. Now go." Roy said, embracing her while giving her a head-spinning kiss. She bit her lower lip and smiled at him. "You've got to stop kissing me like that, I feel all light-headed now." She said, holding him tighter. "I love you." He murmured, smirking.

"I really have to go, we'll have plenty of time to cuddle later." She pulled back, walking towards the car. He slid his hands in his pockets and watched her back out into the driveway before speeding off. "Daddy! Jon stole my bunny!" he heard Caitlyn yell from the backyard. He gave a sigh, and smile as he turned to go break up the argument.

"Do you think I would look good in this?" Eve asked, fluffing her hair as she tried on a blue sundress. "You look good in anything Miss I've-only-had-one-baby-in-my-life." Amaya joked, trying on a pair of jeans. "Hey, we're planning on having a baby brother for little Trisha soon enough? What about you and Ed giving Evan a baby sister, huh?" Eve shot back as she pranced back into the dressing room.

"We're planning on it." Amaya huffed as she followed after her best friend. Riza rolled her eyes with a smile as she looked through maternity clothes. She had sold her last ones to charity, and she was hoping to find herself in need of them again.

"Oh come on, Riza! What's the harm in taking one more pregnancy test?" Amaya asked, coming back out in her regular clothes, carrying several shirts and skirts with a couple pairs of jeans. "I don't know…I just don't want to be disappointed again, I suppose." she said as she followed the two women to the counter so the cashier could ring up their purchases.

"Come on. Lets go to the drug store and get a pregnancy test." Eve said firmly as they stepped outside. "I'm not sure…what if it's a negative again?" Riza said as the crossed the street holding shopping bags.

"It won't be. It will be positive, and you will go home and tell Roy you're expecting another child." Amaya said with a confident air. Riza let out a giggle as they walked up the main street towards the drug store, past people who were milling about at the fruit market and other stores.

"Okay, here. Now go in that bathroom and pee till you're sure the stupid stick is soaked." Amaya said, shoving the small rectangular box at Riza, who scowled as she went into the public restroom. "Do you really think it will be positive?" Eve asked as they waited.

"Yes I do. If anyone deserves to be pregnant one more time, it's Riza. Her and Roy really want this baby." Amaya answered, looking impatient. "It's going to be a while, you realize that, right?" Eve said, looking at her watch. "Not that long. Ten minutes tops." Amaya said, looking around.

"This is a cute little store…" Eve murmured, looking at a wind chime display that was close to the bathroom. "Who takes these anyway?" Amaya said ruefully looking at weight loss pills. "Stupid young girls who get teased and bullied into thinking they're fat." Eve said, looking at some pain pills. "Kids these days are so mean." Amaya said, tapping her foot as they stood once again in front of the bathroom, waiting.

5 minutes later Riza came out, looking at a thin, white stick. "Well?" Amaya and Eve both asked at the same time. She looked up at them, with a huge smile on her face. "I'm positively, and without a doubt, pregnant!" she said happily.

A/N: Sweet chapter, please review. I believe I'm going to do just a couple more chapters. And then, it's over. I'm sorry to say, but this is the last in Confessions. I think doing two was more than enough. So just tell me what you think.