Chapter 13: Confusion & Wake Up Calls

Rin stood by the window her hand tightly gripping the edge. Kagome looked at the bags of exhaustion underneath her sisters russet eyes, tears began to form behind Kagome's eyes. 'This isn't fair I shouldn't have to be here for this, I shouldn't be taking care of her all by myself. Mom, I wish you were here' Kagome thought holding the tears back as she walked away. Rin's sensitive ears caught her slowly retreating feet, she pulled back her now medium hair back in a ponytail reaching her collarbone. Rin climbed out of the window letting her legs dangle it couldn't be more than a fifteen foot drop. She brought her legs back into the room, and walked out of the house. It was late but Rin was becoming rash, impulsive, and rebellious.

She grabbed her jacket from the porch as she walked at a brisk pace towards the town center where she knew a lot of guys from school hung out after hours. There was one that she saw, Kouga, as she approached she walked up to him.

"Hey, do you want have some fun?" she asked seductively. His cerulean eyes looked her up and down, her post pregnancy body was just as toned as it was before she got pregnant.

"What kind of fun are we talking?" he asked with a smirk as he licked his lips ever so slightly. Rin bit her lip and raised her eyes to his entrancingly, he raised a brow. He grabbed her hand and pulled her against his body, she gasped a little. Kouga smiled at her shock as his lips crashed to hers, she hadn't experienced this kind of kiss in a long time, it was playful and gentle. 'Like Sesshoumaru's kisses only, not as warm' she thought kissing him back equally as playful. Kouga put his hand on her back pressing her to him tightly. Rin glanced at him through one opened eye to see both his eyes were closed as he ran his other hand along her body. Soon they were in the backseat of his car, breathing heavy, and covered on sweat.

"You'd never know you had a kid. Rin, let's do this again sometime" he said throwing her clothes to her. Rin smiled slightly and began to put on the clothes that had been discarded in such haste.

"I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not" Rin said pulling her jeans on, they were struggling over each other to get their clothes on the right way.

"Take it as you will, it's your interpretation of my words" he said trying to sound intellectual, looking at her with a boyish grin, Rin smiled at him trying not to laugh at the fact that he put his shoes on the wrong feet.

"Your shoes are on the wrong feet, Later" Rin said getting out of the car, she of course never noticed the golden eyes that were burning holes in her back.

Rin walked home slowly, in her mind if she had more sexual partners she would think of Naraku less when he touched her and more about the others who didn't force her to do anything. Rin put a finger on her lips, as she sat on the shrine stairs, gold eyes watched her press the delicate finger to her lips, wondering what was going through her head.

"What were you doing down there Rin? With Kouga?" a familiar voice asked a little coldly, Rin looked down and shook her head.

"I haven't done anything that you would care to know, Sesshoumaru" Rin said not looking up at the silver haired boy.

"I'm not Sesshoumaru, I'm Inuyasha. What were you doing there Rin?" Inuyasha asked as she looked at him as if not fazed, she smirked at him.

"I don't believe that's any of your business, but if you want I'll show you" she smiled seductively at him.

"Rin stop acting this way. This isn't you, you aren't some common whore" Inuyasha yelled at her.

"This is me, I'm not sweet, little, straight a. Rin anymore. I'm just the whore, it doesn't matter whether I am or not everyone has the notion that I am might as well have fun right?" Rin said pushing Inuyasha.

"Rin, don't become what people think you are" Inuyasha said.

"I am only what he has made me" Rin said sitting down on the stairs.

"You are then, weak, pathetic, and never in control" he said angrily walking past her. Rin's eyes widened and she bit her lip, in frustration. 'He is right, but why don't I feel like stopping' Rin thought. The next three months were the same; Rue grew fast yearning for her mother's love, all she ever saw were her mother's tired eyes, which had the images of things she should have never known, for she herself was a baby.

Rin walked out of a bathroom with Kouga; fixing her skirt unconsciously he pulled up his uniform collar to cover a forming hickey. Kikyou stood in the corner watching Rin, she walked over grabbing Rin and pulling her to the corner.

"What are you doing Rin?" Kikyou asked looking Rin in the eyes, she was exhausted, she had lost weight, late nights, working, school, these extra energy consuming activities. Not to mention she hadn't eaten in four days.

"I'm not doing anything, Kikyou. I have to get ready for gym then I have to run to work then, Kouga wants to hang out, then I have to go home and feed Rue" Rin said, Kikyou looked at her sadly.

"Rin, why is it you put your daughter last? What do you think you're doing sleeping around the way you are? Rin its like I don't know you" Kikyou said. Rin grabbed her head as her world began to spin, swirls of color soon became darkness as she dropped to the floor with a thud.

Dream

Rin stood in a white room, a little girl sat in the corner blood her hands running from her arms, she was crying but Rin couldn't see her face only her wavy black hair.

"What's wrong?" Rin said but the little girl kept crying like she didn't hear her.

The girl turned around with fear in her eyes as the room door opened, Naraku walked in and grabbed the little girl, he picked her up.

"Daddy!" she yelled through her hysterical tears, her crimson eyes shut as she buried her head in his shoulder.

"What's going on!" Rin screamed loudly watching the scene unfold before her.

No one seemed to here as Rin's eyes widened with shock, she walked into the room, she was older.

"Rin, what have you done to Rue! I don't want her here with you! Look at what she's doing to herself because of you" he yelled

"It's your fault hat mistake wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. You hear that Rue, you ruined my life, no one ever wanted you! I hate you! I should have got the abortion when I had the chance! Go on finish yourself, it would be easier for all of us" she screamed,

"Shut UP!" Rin yelled.

"Daddy! I don't feel good" Rue sigh as her skin became pale and cold. Rue's body became limp and she died.

"Rin you are a monster, look at what you've done killed your own daughter, what a monster you've become" He smiled at her dropping the limp body of their daughter on the cold tiled floor now covered in blood.

"NOOO! STOP THIS! PLEASE!" Rin yelled "I'm not a monster" she said

End Dream.

Two hours later Rin woke up in the hospital with Kikyou and Kagome beside her. Kagome held Rue in her arms the baby arms flew randomly in unknown directions as she reached for the shiny IV. Rin looked at them and grabbed Rue and pulled the baby to her tightly. Rue's big crimson eyes looked up at Rin 'I don't see Naraku, I see me, and my baby…I was so stupid, how could I be so stupid? Those eyes are nothing but innocence and what love, how could she love me, how could anyone want to be near me?' Rin thought tearfully, she laid with the baby cradled in her arms. Kikyou put a hand on Kagome's shoulder and led her outside.

As they walked out Rin let a sob out crying like she hadn't for a long time.

Rix – Hey I am extremely sorry, about an extremely long wait. I will finish this I swear. I love you guys for reading this. Thank You For Waitng.