:So glad you guys are liking the new direction, I'm hoping this will be another enjoyable chapter as we build towards a bigger storyline.
Chapter Thirteen
Brisbane.
It had been a couple years since Finn had returned home, a couple years since he felt the hot sun on his face and heard the Laughing Kookaburra in the trees above. He'd forgotten how much he missed it. It had been easy to forget, with the pace of life back home. With work and friends filling the void but now that he was here, he remembered all the little things he missed from his childhood. The exotic wildlife. The sprawling vistas of wild untamed land or oasis-like lagoons and rivers. The eccentric, fun loving people. The wild pubs, full of shouting patrons he'd always wanted to befriend as a child. He looked at it all and wanted to be back there. Be that seven year old again, standing on a chair in that old pub, screaming at the top of his lungs when the local rugby team won the championship and the entire pub cheered along with him.
Finn smiled sentimentally and gave his head a little shake, thinking about that wild little boy and all the hell he'd raised. He'd been here for five days already and he could honestly not think of a good reason that would of made his parents pack up their three young children and move them to the other side of the world. It happened a great deal these days, people forced to move because of work opportunities but... with all their family and friends here... he was at a loss as to how they had actually done it. How they'd actually made that choice for their family and left everything familiar. He had great respect for his parents, for making that choice, he just wasn't sure if he'd of made the same one.
He turned around, leaning his back against the railing of the pub's deck and looked at the group inside. Shouting and drinking, insulting each other with laughter and emphatic gestures. His family. His sisters were both there, with the men of their lives, along with all the cousins and their families. It was a boisterous lot but the pub owner was only happy to oblige. Not only was he good friends with Lana's husband Tyler, but he was also a huge fan of their younger cousin Pete. The current winner of the Australian Open.
Finn smirked, watching as Evie's boyfriend Gavin challenged the young surfer to a drinking contest. A mistake on his part.
"You think we should tell him?"
Finn turned his head, approving of Colin's amused expression. He had been here on the last trip, when Finn had made the same cocky challenge to the surfing pro after a day on the waves. A challenge that Finn had sadly lost, even with the years of binge drinking he had over his cousin. Damn the young.
"And miss out on the fun? No, my darling." Finn smirked, raising his beer to his lips. "Let's watch the cocky Brit figure that out on his own when he's on the floor."
Colin scoffed, giving his head a little shake. "You know, I never thought I'd be lucky not to have you as a brother-in-law."
Finn raised a challenging brow, glancing sideways at him, but the happily married man just smirked. He leaned his forearms against the railing and looked out over the parkland beyond. Further out, beyond the rocky slope beneath the balcony and the beautiful park, was a small lagoon teeming with people even as the sun began to set. It was quite the local hotspot. He always loved coming here.
Colin glanced sideways at Finn as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, switched it on to check for messages but just as quickly switched it off again. He pocketed the phone without so much as a grumble, then turned and leaned casually against the railing alongside Colin.
"Any word?" Colin asked quietly, looking out over the park.
Finn refused to answer. He frowned, taking a good mouthful of his beer and swallowed as he gave his head a little shake.
"Did you try calling again?"
Finn's jaw tightened as he stubbornly refused to look at Colin. "I left eight messages. Twelve texts. ...How desperate do you want me to look?"
Colin smiled to himself, but checked it before glancing across at his old friend. "Finn. It's Gilmore. Get as desperate as your stubborn ass needs to if it'll get her back."
Finn groaned. For a second he wished Colin hadn't been stubborn enough to jump on his flight without telling him... stubborn enough not to let him go to his mother's wake alone... stubborn enough not to drag the truth out of him. But, like always, that regret didn't last long. He was glad Colin was a stubborn ass. Glad he had not left his side because the truth was... he both needed and wanted him here. Annoyances and all.
"Look, we slept together. So what?" Finn grumbled, irritated he couldn't just forget it... treat it like every other girl he'd hooked-up with. Angry he was so desperate to hear from her. To know where they stood. "She clearly doesn't think it was an issue, so can we just forget it?"
Colin scoffed, turning and facing him head on. "You've been in love with this girl since that party at her grandparents house, and I'm pretty sure you liked her long before that. You would of made a move years ago if it hadn't been for Logan. He's come and gone, now its your turn. Make your move."
Finn frowned, fighting the urge to throw his bottle off the balcony and watch it smash on the stones below. He thought back to that night. He'd made his move then. He thought about how careful he'd been... how tender and gentle he'd been, savoring each second. That wasn't his normal routine. He wasn't ever unkind to any woman but with Rory it had been different. That extra care... it had been all for her. For them. Finn clenched his teeth, trying not to be bitter. Trying not to hold it against her but...
"It's not like I ran."
Colin sighed. No. He hadn't. "Don't give up on her yet. She's probably... look, she's probably just scared."
"Of what?" Finn scoffed, angry now. "Me?"
"Yes, you." Colin snapped, frowning at his best friend without shame. "Think about it. You know her record when it comes to guys... to her dad. She hasn't had the best of luck. Maybe she's afraid of trusting you. Trusting anyone like that."
Finn had no response for that. He hadn't thought of it like that. All he had focused on was he'd done something wrong. He'd been the one to drive her away. He'd pushed her and she'd decided she wasn't interested. They were friends. Had been friends for years, maybe that's all she wanted. Maybe the night together was just curiosity.
She was allowed that, wasn't she? After all, he'd been curios too. What would it be like, sleeping together? Would it be as great as he expected it to be? Would it feel right, or would it be awkward and disappointing? All of his curiosity had been soothed after the funeral. Every question answered. Spending the night with her had been everything he'd hoped it would be. He'd made love to one of his best friends and the taste of her skin, her soft laughter... it would stay with him until the end of his days.
Thanks to that, those fresh memories, these five days without word from her had been torture. Five days of silence, they'd given him time to think. Time to assess. If their night together had meant nothing to her, he'd accept it. He made that choice on his own. He had endured fifteen years of friendship while wanting more, he could continue to do so. He didn't want to but, sometimes, you had no choice.
The days passed slowly for Rory.
Three days spent at Jess' place had been a welcomed tonic for her irritable mood but it had to end. She had to go home and try to deal with her own life without interference. Without Jess keeping an eye on her, encouraging her with his sage wisdom and the endless hours of just being a silent companion while she raged. She told him everything, begged for advice and apologized for everything, but he just listened without judgment.
All he did tell her were three simple things. He told her first, to go home. Second, to call Finn if she wanted to feel better. And third, to get in touch with Logan and actually tell him something, yes or no, if she wanted to stop worrying over it.
The rest she would figure out on the way. As long as she did those three simple things and deal with the rest the best she could, she would be fine. That was all anyone else was doing. Muddling through life as best they could, taking hits and moving on or making a change. It was all any one could do.
Rory followed his advice left without arguing, but was comforted to know that Jess would be following her that coming weekend. Before she'd even showed up at his work, he'd been planning on heading to Stars Hollow to try and catch up with the mountain of editing he had to get through. He'd laughed when he'd told her about his plans, amused by the convenience of it. But she hadn't really believed his casual attitude. He was just being sweet again, helping out when he didn't actually have to. It was the new Jess. Still a little unnerving to see but welcomed all the same.
So, Rory returned home.
Walking through her front door with Lor, she just stood there a moment. Unable to ignore the reminders of last time she'd been here, coming home straight from Finn's. The coat and shoes, she'd worn then, were still where she'd dropped them by the door. She forced herself to push past it. To accept it and just move on.
Like Jess said, she needed to get back into her normal routine. She'd feel better once she did. Once the first day was over and done with. So she did, attacking her normal routine with the vigor of her younger, studious self.
As soon as Lor went down for her nap, Rory tore the house apart. She hid all manner of things which reminded her of Finn. She took her dress, which she'd worn to the funeral, rolled it up and hid it in the back of her closet. She did the same to the dress she'd worn to the wedding. She felt like she was sixteen again and packing up a box of all Dean's things after they'd broken up, wanting to get rid of them completely. But, like her mother had done then, she only managed to hide them. A true Lorelai Gilmore trick. Hide the heartache until you were strong enough to sift through and appreciate the memories. She hated it but she did it, stubbornly, because she couldn't handle the guilt.
The rest of that day she tried to treat it like any other. She went to the diner for coffee and saw Luke. They chatted, made plans for dinner with her mother, and then she headed off towards the newspaper office. She picked up some work then took it home, but quickly headed out again. She walked with Lor to the bookstore. She poked through Kim's Antiques and said hello to Lane. She even browsed through the newest trinket store, although she had no desire for any of the worthless junk inside. Anything to avoid being home alone, with the quiet that crushed in around her, pushing her to break it with one simple phone call.
Stubbornly she refused.
She did pick up the phone several times though, wanting to finally respond to the inbox of messages, but she always put it back down again. That half written text she'd started at Jess' always left unfinished. She didn't like the way her heart beat a little faster every time her phone alerted her to a call or a text, but that uneasiness was her own fault. She didn't know what to say to Finn. She didn't know how she felt... how she was supposed to feel... so she couldn't call him. Not yet. Not until she understood this.
Rory was just walking back through the town square, begrudgingly heading towards her mother's place as promised, when she noticed a familiar figure seated upon one of the benches. A Luke's coffee in hand, she smiled at Rory. Glad of the excuse to avoid the fray of questions her mother was no doubt preparing, Rory turned the stroller and headed for the blonde.
"Hello stranger." Steph smiled brightly, getting up as Rory neared her.
The two women exchanged a hug then sat down together on the bench.
"What are you doing here?" Rory inquired, still a little surprised to see Steph in her weird little town. She didn't think she'd ever been here before. No one came to Stars Hollow from New Haven. Not willingly at least.
Mrs. McCrae offered a little shrug but did not manage to hide the giddy little smile that appeared on her face. "Had some free time. ...Just came from my ultrasound."
Rory's brows shot up. "Really?"
Steph laughed, unable to help it and pulled out a little envelope from her purse. "I thought you might want to meet the new McCrae heir."
Rory grinned excitedly and took the picture Steph offered her. A simple little black and white snap shot of her growing baby.
"It's a boy." She smiled, her eyes glazing a little as she couldn't help but look at the picture again. "Don't tell Colin, I want to surprise him."
Rory chuckled, proud motherly tears in her own eyes. She turned to Lor, distracting herself by making a fuss of showing her the ultrasound picture. "What do you think of your handsome little cousin, luv?"
Steph sat back, smiling at Rory. She couldn't help but notice the little hesitation in her smile when she said 'luv'. That was Finn's thing. It was sweet, but Steph didn't miss that look that passed over Rory's face. She missed him. She had to. There was no other explanation for that look.
Rory turned to her, handing the photo back, and managed to hide any sadness she might of felt.
"Colin wasn't with you? Isn't it a big deal to have him there for the gender reveal?"
Steph nodded, slipping the picture back into the envelope. "It's fine. We decided it was more important that he went with Finn."
Rory's chest tightened. She nodded slowly, suddenly feeling quite stupid not to of thought of that. Yes. Colin and Finn together. She shouldn't of expected anything less. Colin would of never sent Finn to his mother's wake alone. It wouldn't of matter where or when... he would of been there, at his side.
Steph reached out, laying her hand on Rory's forearm and giving it a little squeeze. Rory looked up at her, understanding her motherly look as if it had been upon the face of her own mother. A look she would see soon enough when she finally got to her mother's house and was forced to explain her impromptu dash off to Philadelphia.
"I heard you were screening calls so I chanced it and stopped in at the diner. Your step-dad told me you were around town so I've been sitting here hoping to catch you... I hope it's ok that I came."
Rory nodded, tears pricking her eyes as she fought to keep them at bay. "Yeah... it's fine."
Steph held her tongue a moment, just waiting... patiently waiting. She knew everything. Colin had called and told her everything as soon as they'd landed. Everything he'd managed to get out of Finn. Still, she didn't want to bully Rory. That wasn't the way. She didn't care how upset Finn was, or how annoyed Colin was with the both of them, she wasn't going to force anything. She loved her husband, but matchmaker he was not.
Rory took a breath and looked out over the park, feeling ashamed. "I guess you know then."
Steph was quiet, nothing but sympathy in her eyes.
"So who told you?" She inquired, trying not to sound hurt... betrayed. She couldn't help it. It was stupid but she couldn't help feeling that little twinge.
She felt guilty enough with her own mind and heart berating her. She knew she had to go to her mother's house and listen to the same questions she was asking herself, while still having no answers to them. She didn't know what to do about anything... Finn... Logan... Why was everyone asking? Why were they all having a say in her life, pushing and pulling her where she should go when she had no clue. She didn't want her life decided for her. She just wanted to have a clear moment when everything made sense and her heart and mind were in sync, for once. Just one moment when her path was clear.
"Colin called me." Steph told her, softly, with an almost sweeping sadness about her voice. "You know those two. They couldn't keep anything from each other if they tried."
Rory frowned. A little hurt to be talked about behind her back, but she'd expected as much.
"Finn didn't want to talk about it, if that helps. He probably wouldn't of told Colin, if he hadn't pried it out of him."
Rory nodded silently. She had nothing to say. Not yet.
"Colin was worried about him. He thought it was just him working through the whole funeral ordeal but... the second he asked about you, he knew." Steph exhaled, smiling a little. That was a high compliment for a girl, being able to mess with untouchable Finn like that. Especially these days. "What happened Rory? I thought this was what you wanted... you two were even acting like couple, by the time Robert's wedding came around."
Rory scoffed, sitting back. "Flirting isn't that hard. Especially with Finn."
Steph frowned "What was the problem then?"
Rory turned her head, feeling a little guilty, but pointed emphatically to her baby in the stroller.
"Rory." Steph frowned, saddened by her insinuation. "Finn doesn't care that you have a baby."
"I know." Rory frowned dismally, wanting nothing more then to hide her face and wail. She sniffed back the sudden urge to cry and blinked away the tears.
"I know." She repeated more softly. "He loves Lor. I know he does... but..."
"But what?" Steph questioned, pained by these weak excuses. "You two have been friends for years. You know him, what he's like. Weird he may be, but with his friends he's as loyal as an old dog. You can trust him."
"Can I?" Rory questioned, looking at Steph rather hopelessly. "Really? I know who Finn was back at Yale but he's changed since then and I have a baby to think of now. In the years we've been apart... he's different. How do I know I can trust him when I don't really know this new version of who he was?"
"Because, he's the same guy, Rory." Steph frowned, pushing that for sole evidence.
Rory wasn't so convinced, so eager to accept the blind statement. She wanted to but she needed more then that.
Steph sighed and brushed some hair away from her face. "Ok, fine. Just... just don't ever repeat this to anyone. Especially not Finn. He'd kill me if he knew I was telling anyone about this."
Rory frowned, waiting.
"About two years ago... Finn was in a pretty serious relationship with this girl... he'd met her a few times years before but nothing really came of it until then. She was a little wild, true party girl, but he was smitten. They got serious and as much as we didn't really like her, it looked like they might turn into something permanent. He thought so at least... but then his mom got bad. Her first real bad turn, when everyone found out about the cancer she'd been hiding." Steph looked off towards the far end of the square, she could picture those first few weeks so clearly. She doubted she'd ever forget them. "Finn changed overnight. He stopped partying, disappearing for days on end, drinking too much... he was a completely different person."
Steph paused here, looking disappointed.
"What happened?" Rory inquired.
"Giselle didn't like it." Steph confessed, her jaw a little tighter as she tried not to get emotionally invested in the old ex again. "She came home one morning and basically told him that was it. She was done. She'd met someone else."
Rory's jaw grew a little slack. "You mean..."
Steph nodded. "Finn was blindsided. First by the cancer diagnosis and then by his girlfriend of ten-months just taking off because she was bored with his new responsibilities."
Rory didn't know what to say but she was angry. She hated this girl, whomever she was. Who did that? Who seriously would be mad over something like that?
"Trust me, we all went through a rough patch after that." Steph confessed. "I wont even tell you the stupid things we did back then..."
She shook her head, ashamed of their childishness but still a little proud of the retaliation she and Colin had exacted upon the woman who had broke their friend's heart. Actually it had been the most fun they'd ever had together, tormenting the selfish party girl.
"Some time passed but he didn't change and we really started to worry that Finn might never recover from that heartbreak. He barely went out anymore, unless it was with us. He spent all his time with Ava, taking her to treatments, or with Evie just helping her handle everything." Steph laid her hand on her belly, giving it a loving rub. "Then Logan called with the plans to take you out, your night with the boys, and Finn was suddenly 'Finn' again. Until they all came home..."
Rory frowned, regrettably and couldn't help but feel guilty.
"They never thought they'd see you again, you know. They argued and made all these elaborate schemes to talk you into coming back. To pick up where you'd all left off. It was rather adorable, they way they'd all sit around half-drunk, and invent ways to get you back. They got quite inventive, the more they had to drink."
Rory smiled to herself, once more on the verge of tears.
"I think that's when I really believed Colin when he said Finn loved you. Before I just passed it off as a crush, like his infatuation with Rosemary, but... when he fought the most, it was impossible not to see it. He never quite gave up on you." She smiled, looking across the square. "Through Yale, the years after... how he followed your career and made sure you were still invited to every major thing we ever planned..."
"Why didn't he ever say anything?"
Steph frowned, squinting as the sun appeared from behind a cloud. "You were happy."
Rory's heart broke. She averted her gaze to the ground.
"That's all that really mattered to him. You know Finn. How, even with all his wild and arrogant behavior, he just wants to have a good time... show his friends a good time. He might of loved you, but you were with Logan. His friend. You were both happy and content with the life you were living and... well, he wasn't about to interfere. Even if he didn't agree with it." Steph explained, with a twinge of pain. She'd been there, on the sidelines the entire time, watching it unfold. She knew all the background information.
Rory exhaled, shakily. "Steph..."
Her friend smiled sadly, feeling the turmoil herself, and whispered "I know."
Rory wiped her eyes, clearing the sudden tears away, but the regret and the guilt remained.
"Damn the stupidity of sentimental men." Steph grumbled in good humor, soliciting a chuckle from her friend. She gave Rory a little nudge. "But you know now... stupid as he was... that he does love you. Seriously. He's not kidding if he says he wants a relationship."
"That's just the thing. He didn't."
Steph smiled. "Uh, I'm pretty sure if you went home with him, it was all right there. You probably just didn't realize it."
Rory frowned, not quite understanding. Finn went home with a lot of girls, he always had. What made her any different? Their friendship? Because she could name a number of girls, friends, who had slept with him.
"Honey, Finn's not had a relationship in a long time. Not a serious one, not since Giselle. He doesn't just pick up girls anymore then disappear into the night."
Rory bit her tongue. No that's me, apparently.
Steph ignored Rory's pointed personal chastisement and sighed, looking off towards the far end of the square once more. "Rory. Please, just trust me. I've seen it all. Everything you haven't with the boys. I know what I'm talking about when I tell you that Finn loves you. That he's crazy about your baby. And... that him chancing upon you in that coffee shop was the best day of his life. Just trust me."
Rory was quiet a moment, thinking over everything she'd just been told. She thought back to that coffee shop and the 'date' of going to Robert's engagement party and then his wedding together. The hospital and Finn's unswerving care and concern. The fact that he'd put his name down on Lorelai's birth certificate, so she'd never have to live with the knowledge that someone didn't wanted her. So that Rory would never have to worry.
Once more, she was on the verge of tears.
"Did you know that Finn signed Lor's birth certificate... as her father?" Rory questioned, her eyes full of tears.
Steph stared at her in shock. She hadn't known. Her own eyes filled with tears as Rory continued.
"He said the nurses forced him into it but..." Rory shook her head, wiping the tears away. "I know it was his choice. He chose to, essentially, be responsible for Lor both financially and legally for the rest of his life, without even talking to me. Without even thinking about it. He just..."
Steph exhaled a deep breath, blinking away her tears. "Shit."
"Yeah." Rory laughed, wiping her eyes again but crying silently all the same.
"I had no idea." Steph confessed. "So you and Finn... Lorelai is technically yours. Both of yours."
"Legally... I guess so." Rory confessed. She hadn't told anyone about this yet. Not her mother, not Luke, not Jess. It felt oddly refreshing to be able to talk about it. To actually confess the truth.
Steph exhaled again, cursing under her breath. It was amazing and shocking, Rory and Finn had a kid together and no one knew. Sure it was technically Logan's but he'd passed up the opportunity to be a father and their old friend had swooped in, taking care of everything. It was incredible. Just the impetuous decision making she should of expected from Finn, but a surprise all the same.
"So what happens now? I mean, what if Logan...?"
Rory frowned suddenly. She'd been dreading this. "He has."
"What?" Steph hissed. "He wants to-"
Rory nodded. "He found me at Ava's funeral. He apologized for everything and he says he wants to be a part of Lor's life. He wants to help with her."
"Oh my god, Rory..."
Rory pouted, once more filled with self-doubt. Yeah, she knew.
"Is that why you ducked out of the apartment after you guys...?"
She nodded, regrettably. "I was confused and... well, I was scared. On the one hand, there's Lor's real father who wants to be part of her life and who I have a history with, but on the other... there's Finn." Rory frowned sadly, she didn't know what to do, still. "He signed the papers, willingly. He's technically her father but... how do I explain that to Logan? You know him. How he'd react."
Steph frowned. "But you'll still have to tell him."
"I know... I just got caught up." Rory confessed then. "I didn't expect this to happen. To sleep with Finn. It wasn't my plan to get caught between the two of them. I never thought I would be here... in this messed up situation... not between those two. Not between Logan and Finn."
"But you do like him?" Steph questioned, needing to be sure. "...Finn?"
Rory turned to her, her eyes rimmed with frustrated tears but a calm kind of longing. "Yes."
Steph smiled, trying not to squeal with delight as that simple word brought her so much joy. They'd been waiting for this moment for a long time... finally hearing it from Rory was incredible.
"I've loved him for a long time, he's been such a good friend for years but I never thought it could feel like this too. Not Finn. Yes, he's charming and weird but he's also smart and sexy... he's funny and..." She gave her head a little shake as a shiver crossed her skin. "But after the funeral, when we... there was this whole other side of him that I'd never seen before and..."
Steph smiled knowingly. "Yeah. I know. I can just imagine."
Rory exhaled rather shakily, trying not to visualize it. She bit her lip and gave her head a little shake, willing herself to stay focused. "Imagine all you want Steph, it still won't come close... Trust me."
Steph arched a brow, doubting her, but one look from her friend made her chuckle weakly. "Oh... Colin better get home quick because he's going to have some serious work to do."
Unable to help herself, Rory laughed. She didn't hold back. It felt good. Being unburdened like that, able to laugh about her own life and the quirky characters within it. Even if she didn't have the answers to the questions she struggled with, just having someone to talk to about all this did wonders for her own sanity.