I think I should warn you. This chapter and the next one might be triggers for some people because of the topic of self-harm. I'd thought I'd rather warn you of it. I hope you won't find it disturbing.

'So, do you have any ideas?'

Rhea flicked open her eyes and groaned inside her pillow. Was Elia seriously barging into her room at seven in the morning already dressed and completely awake?

'Rhea, get your butt out of your bed!'

'Fuck off Elia it's early!'

'It's one in the afternoon…'

Rolling on her bed, she snatched her phone from the nightstand and pressed on the home-button of her iPhone, her eyes widening as her sister had not been lying about the time. Pushing the quilt away, she jumped off the bed and staggered towards the opened-door, slightly pushing her sister on the shoulder as she desperately tried to make her way out of the room.

Gazing at the living-room, she walked in direction of the kitchen and loudly yawned as she turned the coffee-maker on, glancing over her shoulder to gaze at Elia patiently waiting with her arms crossed. Slightly lowering her look to her sleeves that had been brought up to her elbows, Rhea pretend not to see something she had been aware of for a very long time, pain suddenly plastering her face.

'You okay?'

'Yeah,' Rhea said with a faint smile, 'I'm fine.'

Focusing her attention back on her coffee, Rhea let out the faintest of sighs. Self-mutilation was a subject she had found extremely difficult to engage, and when it came to her own sister, every time she had been meaning to bring the topic up, all her words had disappeared from her mouth. All she knew was what she had seen; scars and cuts on her forearms, and some others between her thighs she had spotted when Elia had worn shorts. But never had she been able to figure out what and how to say anything.

She didn't even know why Elia felt the need to physically hurt herself. Was it because of her boyfriend? Was it because of her grades, or even their parents? Her sister had always been a rock when it came to give into her emotions, and the answers to her questions had always remained unanswered. Shaking her head with despair, Rhea snatched her mug from the coffee maker and slowly sat down on a stool surrounding the island of Lightning's kitchen.

Indeed, for the past three days, Rhea had been living with her mother again. Having happened a week after New Year's Eve which had gone extremely well, Rhea had decided it was finally time to come home, and bury the hatchet of war. She and Lightning had talked and shared a bottle of wine, they had laughed and had exchanged their opinions. They had simply been mother and daughter again, and the feeling Rhea had felt had been overwhelming.

'So, do you have a plan,' Elia reiterated as she took a seat in front of her, her sleeves now back to her wrists.

'Well,' Rhea muttered, 'we would need something big. Like they first started talking because of me smoking and everything…'

'So…we need to make something up.'

Pinching her lips, Rhea looked up to her sister and gazed inside her eyes. Letting her hand run through her blond hair, she heavily sighed and closed her eyes, trying to find the right way to blurt out what she had in mind. But really, there was no proper way to say it.

'What about…You?'

'Me? I'm an exemplary student and…'

'I mean your arms.' Rhea heavily swallowed and darted away. 'What's hidden under your sleeves.'

Unable to look at her sister's eyes, Rhea took in a sharp intake of air, trying to muster all the courage she possibly held in store and slowly, let her gaze go up from the table to her sister's chest, finally to be settled on her eyes. Flinching as Elia's eyes were drowned in tears, Rhea immediately stood up from her stool and rushed in her sister's direction, her arms already wrapping around her shoulders.

'I'm sorry Elia…I didn't mean to be blunt.'

'It's not you,' Elia muttered as she fidgeted to get her sister off her shoulders, 'it's just all of this.'

'Yeah…'

Slouching her shoulders, Rhea sat down next to her sister and slowly, she brought her hands to her arms. Feeling a slight resistance from her part, she raised her hands in the air to surrender but when she was about to stand up, Elia's hand landed on her forearm. Looking down, she sat back down on the stool and looked as she slowly unbuttoned her shirt. Frowning Elia stood up from her stool to let the shirt drop from her shoulders to the ground, she patiently waited as Elia looked down at her arms.

But when she turned around with her arms facing upwards, Rhea's heart sank. She had assumed that Elia would only possess a few cuts, but as she stared, she realized that her entire biceps were covered in deep cuts. Closing her eyes at the pain she felt, she shook her head and breathed it to regain her cool, but the sight of Elia's arms was simply one of the worst nightmares she had lived.

'Eli'…'

'I know. I fucked up.'

'Did you get these checked…? They're…deep.'

'No. It bled for a couple of days and I'll have scars, but no need to jump to hospital for that.'

'I…' noticing the daggers being shot at her, Rhea closed her mouth back.

Handing out her hand, she carefully touched Elia's arm and brought the wounds closer to her face, unable to believe what was in front of her eyes.

'Alright... We'll find something else.'

'We don't have to. This is a real problem Rhea, and I know it. I'll…get yelled at.'

'You won't. I'll fucking make sure of that.'

Staring right at her sister, Rhea grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. So many questions were on her mind and yet not one was able to slip from her lips. Looking at Elia, all she could feel was pain.

"Eli'… Can I ask you something?"

"You just did," Elia said as she flashed a weak grin, "but yes."

"How long have you… Since when? I…"

"It's been…a few months," Elia answered with a sniffle. "But it's fine, everything's…fine," she continued, her voice trailing off.

Leaning in, Rhea reached out for her cup of coffee but jumped out of her skin as the front-door of the house opened, Elia already snatching back her shirt from the ground before hiding behind the counter of the kitchen. Flushing, Rhea gazed at her mother walking inside the room with an arched brow, carrying bags of groceries in both of her hands.

"You look suspicious," Lightning said as she placed the groceries on the counter, "what did you do?"

"What! I didn't do anything mom," Rhea said, "really."

Glancing over her shoulder, she observed as Elia buttoned the last button of her shirt, her head popping out from behind the island to gaze at her mother, her brows now arched a few degrees higher.

"Hey mom. Sorry I spilled some milk on the ground."

"Oh. Okay."

Discretely raising her thumb in Elia's direction, Rhea silently sipped on her coffee as Lightning began to put away the groceries she had bought. As the fridge was opened, Lightning stood still for a few moments, her head tilting to the side before grabbing the cans of Fanta and Diet coke to place them on the fridge's shelves.

"So, what do you girls want to do today," Lightning asked placing the eggs in the fridge, "movies? Lunch downtown?"

"Mom are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay," she asked looking at both of her daughters.

"No reason. But yes! There's a movie I'd like to see!"

"Oh? What is it?"

Quickly standing up from the stool, Rhea sauntered in direction of her bedroom and snatched her phone from the nightstand with a smile before walking back to the kitchen. Inputting her password, she typed on her screen and looked at the movies being shown in the different movie theaters across town, grinning as the one she had been meaning to see was still being shown.

"It's called Molly's Game," Rhea said as she handed out the phone to her mother, "do you know it?"

"I've heard of it yes, isn't it about that woman who created a poker-gaming…something."

"Yes! What do you think?"

"Why not. Elia, does it interest you as well?"

"Sure! We could grab dinner too?"

"Sure. First what do you say we eat something for lunch?"

Positively beaming, Rhea bounced to her feet and rushed in direction of the bathroom. However, stopping in her movements, she quickly casted a glance in Elia's direction and bit her lower lip as she could now clearly distinguish the pain rushing over her face. How had she not been able to see this pain for months? Had Elia managed to hide it so well that everyone had been oblivious to how she felt?

Fainting a smile as Elia eyes locked with hers, Rhea softly nodded in her direction before disappearing behind the door of the bathroom, images of cuts dancing in her mind. I'll do whatever I can Elia. I promise you.

Vanille had never been one to pry and had never been interested in the drama involving the members of her family and friends, but as Fang had urged her to meet her at Manhattan Beach in downtown Los Angeles, Vanille's interest had been peaked. Not only would it give her the opportunity to see her sister again who had grown conspicuously silent, but also to practice their surfing skills as they had not been on a board for at least four months.

Having arrived at the beach earlier than planned, Vanille passed the time scrolling down her Facebook page with a heavy and pained heart. Looking at pictures of Serah and Daniel playing in their garden, Vanille's heart suddenly began to ache. How long has it been since she had been out with Serah? How long since they had shared a drink on the patio, chattering about their lives and their jobs? And more importantly, how long had it been since they had simply addressed a word to one another without feeling resentful? And would they ever be able to look past everything that had occurred in the past years of their lives?

For so long, and ever since Vanille could remember, she and Serah had shared everything. They had laughed, they had fought, and they had cried, but never had they been so angry that even being in the same room had become unpleasant. And Vanille knew that because of the reasons behind their quarrel, things would not get better any time soon.

"Hey Van!"

Glancing up from her phone, Vanille plastered a smile on her lips she did not mean but perfectly simulated. Tightly hugging Fang, the perfume she smelt form her skin made her brows quirk up, the scent she had never smelled from her sister's skin fitting her surprisingly well.

"How are you Fang? Ready to take it to the sea?"

"Ugh ya have no idea! It feels like ages since I've surfed!" Amused, Vanille picked up the board from the ground and slowly marched in direction of the beach. "Van? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Vanille said with a smile, "a bit tired, work is hectic."

"Tell me 'bout it, it's been non-stop ever since New Year's."

"Right?"

Chuckling, Vanille took her flip flops off and tossed them next to the board as it landed on the warm sand. Looking away, she gazed at the waves crashing further away, surfers already sliding on the water and falling head first deep under. Heavily sighing through her nose, she took her t-shirt off only to find herself in her swimsuit, gazing back at her sister before spotting a vicious spot on her neck.

With widening eyes, Vanille stared at the bruise for a few moments, unable to utter a word. Caught in her action, she sharply gazed away and back at the sea, a soft smile already curling up her lips.

"So," Fang said oblivious of the fact Vanille had seen the mark, "ready to face the wave?"

"Let's see who's better eh?"

Picking up her board, Vanille sprinted in direction of the sea and the second her body was halfway underneath the water, she placed her entire body on the board and pushed herself further away with the help of her hands. Glancing over her shoulder, she beamed as Fang rapidly approached her location and doubling the paste, the two sisters engaged in a contest to declare the winner of their day out.

She and Fang had been surfing for years. Having practiced and attended surfing lessons on the coast of Australia, both sisters had decided to practice their skills together and had, ever since, decided to put everything they had learned into a contest. At a tie, they had continued in Los Angeles in the company of Lightning and Serah, and these memories had been the ones she had held dearest in her heart.

Standing still with a beer in a hand, Vanille gazed at the ocean with a bright smile. It appeared so calm now that the sun had slowly started to set, but the laughter echoing from behind were enough to announce the night they would all spend. A night of drinking, laughing and sharing unknown stories under the bright moon and the unclouded dark sky. Chugging the rest of her beer in a few sips, Vanille turned around on her heels and glanced at the young couple, happily enjoying their third year of love.

"Don't remind me, I can't believe I have my exams in three days and I'm here doing nothing at all," Lightning joked, her cigarette landing between her lips. "you're a bad influence Fang."

"The worst there is."

Grinning at their sight, Vanille darted away as the couple exchanged a passionate kiss, giggling as they parted their lips. Looking back at them, the love shimmering from their eyes was enough to light up the sky, and Vanille had never seen such a strong feeling in her sister's eyes, ever before.

Vanille had met Lightning two and a half years ago, and though having had some doubt about the girl with the pink-colored hair, she had realized the love she had felt for her older sister, and just this had been enough to change her mind. She had seen the way Lightning had treated Fang, and to say they would spend a long time together was a certainty.

"What's your exam about by the way," Serah said as she took a sip from her beer.

"Anatomy of the female reproductive organ."

"It's why she knows how to please a woman," Fang said through a grin.

"Oh my god Fang," Lightning blurted as her cheeks turned red, "don't tell that to my sister! Or yours!"

Chuckling, Vanille only shook her head with amusement as she darted in Serah's direction. Winking at her new-found friend, she crawled in her direction and sat down next to her, observing the interaction between Lightning and her sister with a bright smile.

"What, it's true! You know where to…"

"Fang don't you dare."

"How to touch the right…"

"Fang!"

"Spot."

Bouncing to her feet, Fang was already bolting in direction of the sea with Lightning directly on her tail. Avoiding her playful punches, she gazed at the couple as Lightning was pushed in the sea, falling head-first under water.

"Oh my, Light isn't going to be happy," Serah snorted as she stood up to gaze at the scene, handing out her hand for Vanille to grab it.

Standing up, they both crossed their arms on their chests and slowly made their way in direction of the sea as well, the laughter of both Fang and Lightning bringing a equally bright smile to their lips. Finally reaching the sea, the fresh water gave Vanille shivers down her spine, her eyes looking off at the vast horizon before feeling a push on both of her shoulder, she too falling head-first inside the water.

Surprised but amused, she stood up from the ground and threw a playful glare in Serah's direction before sprinting on her tail along the shore. These friends were her new family. And never would she give them up.

Sitting on her board, Vanille glanced at the horizon and let her hands graze the fresh water of January. Oblivious of her sister now gazing at her with knitted brows, Vanille laid down on the board and pushed herself further away towards the biggest waves before getting into position and pushing herself back up, water and wind sending shivers down her legs and making her desperately crash under the wave.

She remained under the water a few moments, forgetting about the world surrounding her and the troubles that had taken a bigger toll than she had expected. Swimming back to the surface, Vanille swam back in direction of her board, now bored with their surfing session only after thirty minutes. However not focused on surfing at all, Vanille let the waves pushing her closer to the shore with a tight frown, unable to shake away the bad feelings and emotions that had swallowed her heart whole.

Jumping from the board, Vanille pulled it further away on the sand before sluggishly sitting down with her toes still in the water, gazing away at the few surfers still determined to take on the waves. Fang was amongst them, but Vanille could see from the distance the shape of her eyebrows heavily slanted and knew from the look on her face that a conversation was already brewing.

Sighing to herself, she pushed the sand away with her hand, watching the hole she created being filled with water before the water was absorbed by the sand, a weak smile managing to crinkle the corner of her lips. For a few moments, her mind trailed off. Not thinking of anything in particular, she only absentmindedly gazed at the ocean, listening to the sounds of laughter echoing on the beach, the waves crashing up against the shore before finally, Fang arrived.

"Hey! What's the matter? I've never seen ya like…this. All moody."

"I'm just thinking," Vanille said after a deep intake of air, "thinking about it all."

"O-kay. That sounds deep. Tell me more."

"First, I have a question," Vanille said as she gazed at her sister. "What's this," she asked pointing at the mark on her neck.

Exploding into a fit of laughter that surprised her, Vanille could only stare as Fang covered her face. Arching her brow at her sister's reaction, she patiently waited for an answer.

"It's not what ya think. Rhea has a straightener and she forgot it. So…I thought I'd give it a go and ended up…burnin' myself."

Biting her lower lip to prevent her own laughter from escaping her lips, Vanille slowly nodded. But deep down, she would've preferred to hear about a potential lover, someone who would finally take the pain away from Fang's heart. But for some reason, she could see a small shimmer of hope inside her sister's green colored eyes, something she had lost in the last three years that slowly, but surely, was starting to crawl its way back. Maybe there was hope, after all.

"Your turn. What's gotten ya down?"

"Well," Vanille started after a sigh, "it's just…I miss Serah. I haven't seen her since Christmas and even then, we were distant…"

Swallowing back her tears by gazing at the sky, she felt her mouth began to tremble. "And everything just went so wrong so fast… I don't understand anything. I'm not sure I even want to understand… I'm just…So sad."

Admitting herself this matter for the first time in weeks, Vanille closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek, her head immediately falling back. Shuddering, she did not fight the arm wrapping around her shoulder. She wanted things to go back the way they once were. But was it even possible anymore?

Stepping out of the movie theater with an arched brow, Lightning patiently waited as her two daughters giggled and chatted about the movie like kids after a Pokemon episode. Truth be told, she had enjoyed the movie. Perhaps had it been thanks to Jessica Chastain, an actress she had always found to be stunning, but the idea of a woman managing a world filled with idiotic men with elegance had certainly spoken to her, but the way the entire movie had been handled had clearly made its way to her heart.

"So, mom! What did you think?"

"I enjoyed it quite a lot," Lightning said as a cigarette landed between her lips. "What about you girls?"

'Yes,' they both said in unison, grinning to one another. "It was awesome," Rhea then continued. "I looove that actress!"

"Yes, I like her as well. She was in a movie called Miss Sloan that would interest you too. She's basically the same type of strong female lead you could enjoy," Lightning said as she headed towards her SUV. "You should watch it. I think I have it on my laptop."

"Neat!"

Smiling, Lightning pressed on her keys and sat down behind the steering wheel, making sure her two girls were in the car before turning the engine on. Exiting the parking place, she drove towards the beach with the sound of music in her ears, Rhea already gaining control of the radio without having a say in it.

Bouncing her head at a song she recognized, Lightning hummed as she drove, unware of the strange looks her daughters were throwing in her direction. She finally noticed at a red light, glancing back from Rhea to Elia with an arched brow before finally, she loudly sang.

"First things first Im'ma say all the words inside my head!"

Quickly joined by Rhea and Elia, Lightning continued singing, pitched-perfect once more oblivious of the knowing look both of her daughters were exchanging before Rhea suddenly exclaimed herself. "Mom! By the way! Erm… I bought two tickets to see Imagine Dragons with Charlotte in a few weeks… I didn't ask you because we were…we weren't talking but can I go?"

Chuckling, Lightning softly shook her head. "Of course. You're old enough to go to a concert with your girlfriend without your parents nagging you."

"Thanks mom!"

With a soft smile, Lightning drove faster down the street before parking the car in front of the restaurant she had chosen, winking at both of her daughters as she unclipped her belt and took the keys out of the ignition. Stepping out, she let the fresh wind brush the nape of her neck as her two girls escaped the car. Flinching as they both grabbed one of her hands, she squeezed them both with a smile before making her way towards the entrance of the building.

Nodding at the waiter, she gave her name and was led to her table followed by her girls, taking a seat with a smile. Taking her coat off and hanging it on the back of her chair, she slowly sat down, gazing at her daughters sitting in front of her; whispering to each other. Arching a brow at their sight and unable to comprehend the conversation, Lightning drew her attention to the customers of the restaurant, gazing at the with half-of-a-smile before a waiter finally came into view.

"Hello ladies, I'm Mark your waiter for the evening. What would like to start with?"

"We'll have a bottle of wine and whatever Elia feels like drinking."

"A coke," she quipped.

"Coming right up!"

Nodding once more, she gazed back at Rhea and Elia. She could feel a heavy atmosphere between them, her brows immediately snapping as her younger daughter avoided eye-contact. Hell-bent on avoiding any kind of hurtful topics during the night, her motherly instinct however took a step forward. "Elia? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine…" Her voice trailed off and uneasiness settled inside Lightning's body. "It's good."

"Elia."

Rhea's voice was strong and directive, Lightning's doubts grew increasingly higher. Fidgeting at the edge of her seat, she suddenly forgot how to use her hands, unware of what to do with them. Shifting from Elia to Rhea, she only stared, waiting for something she knew would not be pleasant. Is she pregnant? Immediately, her cheeks heated, and her gaze settled back on Elia.

"What's going on," she asked with a ragged breath, her hands starting to shake as the waiter came back with the beverages.

Pouring only one glass, Lightning grabbed it and gulped it completely, unable to figure out what it tasted like as the thump in her throat had increased. "It's great," she said without tearing her eyes away from her daughter, "thank you."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

Looking up at Rhea, the pain in her eyes was strong and intense. "What's going on?"

"I… I have something to tell you." Swallowing hard, Lightning leaned in. "It's complicated."

"Alright?"

A weight placed itself on her shoulders. Unable to figure out what was truly happening, Lightning started to sweat, stress and anxiety filling in the holes in her body as Rhea elbowed against the table, drinking the glass that had been allowed in a single swallow.

And it came like a bomb destroying everything. "I'm cutting myself."